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Chapter Two:
Promises
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The heavy weight of the silence lingered over his head, pressing down upon him. It choked his breath as he struggled to push air out of his lungs. The phone was clutched tightly in his hand, knuckles cracking with a white pressure as they tightened over the thick black plastic. The voice of Robert Lindsey echoed in his ears, the message he had delivered making his stomach churn with disgust. His daughter had been placed in danger once more and there seemed to be nothing to he could do to help her. Lindsey had called him specifically to make sure he was not behind Sydney's escape from the country and to threaten that if he did have anything to do with it, he would be locked up faster than he could blink. Jack Bristow was not scared of the head of the NSC, he was not afraid for his own safety, only that of Sydney. He had been somewhat surprised to realize that the only person who could have helped Sydney was Vaughn, whose wife had been the one to turn her in.
Jack stared into his dimly lit apartment with unseeing eyes, the papers spread out before him that he had been studying intensely only moments earlier were forgotten. The soft glow of the lamplight was now filled with shadows that gnawed at the edges of his skin, tearing away at his soul. His mind was racing, conceiving a hundred different scenarios of how to help his daughter and then discarding each as soon as he found the tiniest crack in the stone of his conscience. He didn't know where she was or if she needed him or not. He could only wait for her to contact him.
He wondered how long he would wait before he was forced to spring into action. A day perhaps or a few more minutes. He was already formulating a new plan even as he considered not making any. Perhaps he should contact Irina, she could protect Sydney, who was now a fugitive as Irina had been for years. Oh the irony of the whole situation.
The phone ringing shrilly startled him from his thoughts, the plastic vibrating beneath the sweaty palm of his hand. He stared at it for a long second before taking a deep breath and clicking it on.
"Hello?"
On the other end of the line, Sydney breathed a sigh of relief at the sound of her father's voice. The plane was now high in the sky, safe over international waters. She smiled gently at the concern in her father's voice, she knew he had been worrying about her. She could feel Vaughn's eyes watching her but every time she glanced up at him, he looked away as if overcome with guilt.
"Dad," her voice was surprisingly calm now considering the circumstances she was in. A sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line caused tears to spring to her eyes as her father cleared her throat.
"Sweetheart, where are you?" Jack was listening intently to the background noise, the low hum that was indicative of an airplane.
"I'm safe dad," Sydney ran her fingers through her hair distractedly, she was still filled with unease, a sense of anxiety that she could not quell. She was safe for now but it was only a matter of time before that changed.
"Sydney, you have to tell me where you're going so I can come meet you."
"I can't tell you that, dad. The NSC is going to come down on you harder than ever if they find that you helped me escape and they are most likely monitoring you already. I won't put you in danger, you are the only chance I have to clear my name."
Jack had anticipated her response but that didn't mean he had to like it. "Will you be alright by yourself?"
Sydney hesitated, her eyes sliding up to where Vaughn sat before her. He met her gaze this time, did not look away, and she could see the fierce blaze in his eyes, the bottled sense of protection he had for her that had been held inside him for so long. For the first time in a long time, she knew that she wasn't alone.
"I'm not by myself, dad," the words were a low whisper that raced through the air to meet Vaughn's ears. He gazed at her steadily, the corners of his lips twitching up slightly. He wanted to gather her into his arms and thank her for having some faith in him after all he had done.
Jack could sense what was happening on the other end of the line, hundreds of miles away, he could see them so clearly in his mind. Seated on the plane, across from each other, never touching but making, slow silent love with those longing glances stolen when no one was looking.
"Vaughn is with you," Jack sighed softly and dropped his head into his hands. He could see all the walls he had constructed over the past two years slowly crumbling, falling apart, brick by brick. This was the most important and it was on the verge of collapsing permanently. He wondered if it wouldn't be better for everyone involved if it did.
The long silence on the other end of the line answered his question that never really needed an answer. He had already known, he could see Sydney in his mind's eye staring at Vaughn. His eyes burning with love that he struggled to hide but as good as Michael Vaughn had become at lying over the past two years, he could never lie to Sydney. She saw right through him, Jack could only hope that it would be over soon.
"Yes," Sydney's answer was no more than a breath that Jack could practically feel as tangible in the air before him though it entered his ear through the cell phone. He nodded slowly though he knew she could not see him. When his next words were spoken, he had rid himself of all emotion and hardened his voice into the commanding tone that scared so many younger agents into submission.
"Let me speak with him."
Sydney frowned and felt her heart lurch in her breast, though she knew her father could do Vaughn no physical harm from a cell phone, he could do plenty of other damage. However she knew better than to argue with him when he sounded like that so wordlessly she held out the phone to Vaughn. He stared at her, forehead wrinkling in confusion, Sydney shrugged at his unspoken question.
"He wants to speak with you," she said softly. Fear leapt into Vaughn's eyes and Sydney almost snatched the phone away at the sight of it. Vaughn had never been afraid of her father, nervous and unsure, yes, but visibly afraid was a different matter. There was something in his eyes that she could not identify and it scared her, shook her deeply. She watched as he swallowed hard, the lump in his throat rising and fading. The fear diminished greatly and he nodded, taking the phone from her. Their fingers brushed as his hand closed over hers and Sydney felt a spark of heat ignite under her skin. She was surprised that their combined touch did not melt the plastic of the phone with its intensity. Their eyes locked and she gazed for a long moment into the swirling depths of those green eyes she had loved for so long. There was so much written there that she could not begin to fathom what it said but she was beginning to get an idea.
With visible effort, Vaughn tore his eyes away and lowering them, stood and moved away from her. He lifted the phone to his ear and Sydney could see the way his hand trembled as he did so. There was something else going on, a missing piece that she could not yet identify. But she would solve this mystery just as surely as she would solve the others that had overtaken her life.
Vaughn was speaking softly, she could not make out his words and he moved further away from her. She realized that he didn't want her to hear the conversation and she frowned, what was he hiding from her and why? He had secluded himself at the back of the plane and soon she could no longer hear him at all, he must have gone into the bathroom to speak. Sydney had to fight the urge to follow him and listen in on what he was saying but something inside of her stopped her from doing so. She had the feeling that whatever it was, Vaughn would reveal to her in due time, or else she would force it out of him.
Sydney sank back into her seat and sighed heavily, there seemed to be a world of burdens that had been laid upon her shoulders. Its weight was holding her down, smothering her slowly with an uneasy sense of oppression. She craved her freedom from these burdens, longed to be whole again but it would never happen until she discovered the truth about what had happened to her. The truth about what she had done.
She leaned her forehead against the cool glass of the window and gazed out. The world outside was obscured by waves of misty clouds that stretched out as far as she could see. The clouds were small puffs of white shining in the dark night, the way they rolled in the deep blue of the sky reminded her of the ocean. She knew the deep waters were hundreds of miles below her but the way the sky outside looked, it seemed like they were in a submarine, caught below the waves. As if the sky had become the ocean and perhaps the ocean had become the sky, it would not surprise her, so much else had become upside down and inside out since she had returned to the world of the living. The sky outside was empty and yet filled with a deep darkness that was echoed inside of her. The plane made a temporary passage through the clouds, never lingering for too long like so many people and moments in her life. They never lasted for long, passing quickly and leaving only an empty space where it had been.
She was roused from her musings by the presence of Vaughn who settled into the seat beside her. He made no noise, no movement to disturb her but she knew that he was there. His energy crept over her, sinking into her flesh and uncovering the roots he had planted into her heart so long ago. He let out a soft sigh in unison with her own breath that fogged the glass of the window, obscuring her reflection and changing her into a shadow of herself.
"Sydney," he whispered her name with such tenderness that stole her breath from her lungs. She turned her head to look ahead but she could not face him, tears burned her, the lump in her throat making it impossible to speak. She missed him so much, the loving way he spoke to her, the sound of her name spilling from his lips, that look in his eyes, it was like nothing had changed.
She gasped when she felt his fingers touch her face, gently grasping her chin and turning her to face him. His fingers trailed fire across her flesh, leaving a deep crimson blush where he had touched her. She looked everywhere but into his eyes, at the leather of his jacket that gleamed under the overhead light, the curve of his neck where she knew he loved to be kissed. She wondered if his wife knew that secret, knew all of the little tricks that caused him to melt in her hands. Her eyes drifted over the stubble on his chin, the softness of his lips that were parted and prepared to speak, the prominent nose that she loved so much, she allowed her eyes to settle there, unable to look into those depths and see a lie written there.
"Sydney, look at me," he spoke so softly that it felt like a thousand feathers were stabbing her heart. When she did not heed his words, he sighed softly and let his hand drop to cover her own.
"Listen, there is so much I need to tell you, so many things that I need to explain but know this," he smiled gently, pain in his eyes as she finally conceded to look into his eyes, startled into this small action by his words. "There is no excuse for how I've treated you since you've been back." The pain that had been hidden in her flared up, he could see it in the darkened depths of her eyes, where he would gladly drown in order to make her happy. Swallowing hard, he shook his head and continued, voice husky from unshed tears.
"I don't expect you to forgive me and I wouldn't even want you to until I can prove myself to you again. I just hope that you'll trust me, have faith in me because everything I have done in the past four years, everything, has been for you."
Sydney frowned and opened her mouth to speak, she could read the truth in his eyes, but the implication of his words puzzled her. He smiled gently at her, his broken heart bleeding on his sleeve and she shook her head. This was not the time for their confessions and they both knew it. They had to determine a course of action. He was offering to tell her everything right now if she asked, but the pain of the telling would be too much for him in this state. She could see it in his eyes, there was something weighing him down as surely as her own secrets wore on her. There would be a time for confessions, to clear the air of the ghosts that lingered, but this was not it. Now was the time to prepare for the next step of the journey.
"I have always trusted you, Vaughn," she took a deep breath and attempted to calm her trembling hands. "I always had faith in you until that day in Hong Kong," her eyes lowered to his hand, expecting to find his wedding ring on his finger but it was not there. She frowned and looked up at him, eyes wide with shock and he shook his head.
"Have faith that I am trying to protect you, Syd. I'm trying to help you."
She took a deep breath and swallowed hard, nodding gently. "Thank you."
He shook his head, unable to speak for a long moment as he felt the lump rise in his throat. After the wave of sorrow had passed over him, he cleared his throat to speak again.
"What's in Rome?" He asked. Sydney fished in her pocket and withdrew a small silver key and held it up.
"Apparently I was in Rome for awhile, at least, Julia Thorne was. Sloane gave me this earlier tonight and told me that I had sent it to him, the handwriting on the envelope was mine. Along with it was an address of an apartment in Rome, I need to go and see if there are any more clues. It seems that I left myself a trail of clues before my memory was erased as to who I was, something I did." Sydney shook her head and looked at Vaughn, "I don't know what."
Vaughn frowned and took the key from her, inspecting it carefully. "You sure you can trust Sloane?"
Sydney shook her head and frowned, "Under different circumstances, I wouldn't. But it seems that I have very little choice in this matter. This could be the last chance I have to find out what happened to me before the NSC locks me away and leaves me brain dead. I need to know, Vaughn."
He looked up at her and could see desperation hidden in her eyes. She had been struggling to maintain the semblance of a normal life two years ago, it was the last thing she had known. Now it had all fallen in on her. Her world had come shattering down around her, she had nothing left but this drive to discover the truth. He squeezed her hand and smiled softly at her, "We'll find out, Sydney. I promise you that."
She smiled and squeezed his hand in return, tears filling her eyes. She laid her head on his shoulder and sighed softly, no words needed to explain this feeling. He stroked her hair gently and laid his head against hers.
"Get some rest, you'll need it for the morning."
She sighed, the breath tracing a course across his flesh and closed her eyes. Vaughn stared into the empty plane, eyes unseeing, blind to everything but the woman at his side.
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