A Hopeless Wound (4/?)
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A/N: I'm a monster. I know it, and I feel bad about it. Rose is by far my favourite minor character, and I've debated for days whether or not I was doing the right thing. The thought that I usually tend to hurt the characters I love doesn't help but truth is, there would be really no point in writing this story if I let her live.
Yes, it's a sad piece, but I hope you'll keep reading anyway... ;)
This said, here's chapter four. Once again, this one was difficult to write, because it deals with Bosco and Faith's first encounter after she told him to go away. (How could I NOT bring her into the picture? :) ) I had this idea in mind, but wasn't sure you guys would like it.
In the end, I decided to follow my instinct so I went with it. I really couldn't imagine this scene written in any other way.
Now go ahead, read the chapter and let me know if my decision was right.
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Chapter four
***
Faith pulled on her hat and slowly got out of the taxi.
The morning air was crisp, but the sun was blazing into a cloudless sky, and that always put her in a good mood.
It was great to be back outside. But most of all, it was great to stand on her feet again. It had taken her almost three months of exhausting physical therapy, but she'd finally regained most of her strength, and was ready to go back to work.
Sure the Lieutenant would put her on a desk at first, but anything was better than staying at home reading magazines and watching her life pass her by.
She adjusted the scarf around her neck and walked toward the entrance of Angel of Mercy, where she was supposed to get her medical clearance. After that, she would meet up with Swersky to talk about her upcoming first shift.
Inside, the familiar smell of antiseptic immediately greeted her, along with the sound of people talking and machines beeping. They brought back sad memories of the time she'd spent there as a patient, but she shook her head and pushed them away.
Nothing was going to ruin her good mood today.
At the nurses' desk, she was told that the doctor was going to visit her in his office on the fifth floor, and that Mary Proctor would take her upstairs in a minute.
Stepping out of the elevator, Faith's eyes were suddenly drawn to the right to a lone figure slumped into a chair. His head was lowered, but there was no mistaking him. Bosco.
Her heart lurched at the sight.
Although she hadn't seen him in months, his presence triggered more memories, and she found herself unable to tear her gaze away from him.
When he raised his head a moment later, Faith instinctively froze, but he just looked straight ahead, giving no indication that he'd actually seen her. She kept staring at him, trying to decide if she should approach him or not. That's when she noticed that his eyes were red and puffy and that his clothes were covered in blood.
"Mary, what's wrong?" She asked nervously, her hands fidgeting with the winter cap.
The nurse followed her line of sight. "You don't know?" She asked, a surprised expression on her face. "It's Bosco. His mother died a short while ago."
Faith took an involuntary step back. "What? How?"
"Gunshot wound to the chest. He's in pretty bad shape."
"Yeah, I... I can see that. Where is she?"
"Room four. They're short a nurse up here, so I volunteered to take care of her and a few other patients."
"God..."
Rose was dead. No wonder he looked like hell. Bosco's life basically revolved around his mother, the only person who'd loved him unconditionally despite his moments of weakness and the mistakes he'd made.
As his partner, she'd witnessed several conversations between the two of them over the years, but the only one that stood out in her mind had happened inside this very hospital, after he'd nearly killed the guy who'd beaten her up.
She could remember the pain in his eyes as he looked at her bruised face, the determination on his face as he swore to personally take care of everyone who even touched her whether she liked it or not, the hurt in his voice at the memories that twenty years later still haunted him.
Their relationship hadn't always been friendly or sweet, but from what she'd seen, neither of them could do without the other.
She couldn't even begin to imagine the enormous pain he must be feeling right now.
Unaware of her worried gaze, Bosco leaned forward and covered his face with his hands.
He struck her as a hollow man, a body whose spirit had been defeated. The people who'd seen him after the shooting in Noble's hotel room said he'd looked the same way, but she knew this pain was ten times worse.
Her brain was racing with conflicting thoughts. Part of her wanted to reach out to him and say that she was sorry, for his loss and for pushing him away, but there was also a voice telling her that she had no right to feel bad for him. She'd chosen Fred after all, her marriage over his friendship. She didn't deserve it anymore.
Yet her feet refused to move and her heart hadn't slowed down its rate.
Mary sensed Faith's discomfort and decided to leave. "I'll tell the doctor you're here."
Faith nodded and took a tentative step towards Bosco. She swallowed hard, wondering why it was suddenly so hard to talk to somebody she'd called her partner and best friend for the last ten years.
Then it dawned on her.
She was afraid. Afraid of what his reaction would be, afraid to learn that he'd moved on, afraid that he would lash out at her like a wounded animal just as she'd done with him in the past.
And she was sorry. Sorry to have been too self-absorbed to notice his pain, sorry she'd left him behind, sorry that he'd had to go through the most traumatic event of his life alone.
A tear leaked from the corner of her eye. She should've been there for him, just as he'd been there for her when Fred had his heart attack, or when Emily had overdosed. She hadn't, but maybe it wasn't too late. The thought gave her enough hope to make her decision.
She'd known Rose for almost a decade, and had always respected her courage and strength. Raising two children alone wasn't an easy task, but she'd managed to do a remarkable job, at least with her first born. She'd forged Bosco's true nature, his caring and compassionate side, had turned him into the man she'd trusted daily with her life, and she'd done all this while working two jobs and trying to keep her family together.
Faith just hoped to be half as brave as the older woman had been.
Letting out a small breath, she moved closer. "Bosco?"
He didn't react, and she realized he probably hadn't even heard her so she tried again a little louder. "Bosco?"
His head finally turned and as their eyes met, her heart nearly broke at the pain she saw there.
If he was surprised to see her, he didn't show it.
"I... I heard about your mom."
He looked away and focused his attention back to the wall in front of him.
"I just wanted to tell you that I'm sorry. I know we haven't..."
"Go away." His voice was soft but firm.
"Bos?"
He rose to his feet and was beside her in an instant, his face mere inches from hers. "Don't... call me that. You're not my partner anymore." He hissed, his finger stabbing the air.
Faith jumped, startled by his reaction, but held her ground.
She'd seen him angry before, but never like this. His words hurt, but it was the look in his eyes that scared her the most. The light was gone, as well as the old familiar sparkle. He definitely looked worse than she thought and for the first time in her life, she was actually afraid of him.
"Bosco, please... I just want to talk to you..." she said, holding out one hand.
"You want to talk to me." He repeated, staring at her. "Why, Faith? You haven't talked to me in months! Said you didn't want me around anymore." His voice picked up a notch. "And then what, you hear my mother's dead and suddenly wanna be my friend again? Well, guess what, it doesn't work that way!"
He was obviously hurting, and needed to let his anger out, but that didn't make Faith feel any better. Maybe because he was speaking the truth.
"Look, we both made mistakes, but this isn't the right time or place to talk about that." She said, nervously shifting her weight from side to side. Of all the different scenarios she'd played in her mind for their first encounter after the mess with Cruz, this was definitely the worst. "I just thought you needed..."
"I'll tell you what I -don't- need, Faith. I don't need your pity, and I don't need you here. You're just talking out of guilt."
She tried to touch his arm but he pushed her hand away. "Think you can play me into forgetting? I won't. I was ready to give up everything for you. Lose my job, go to jail, everything. But you decided I wasn't worth it anymore, and I felt..." He shook his head. "You know what, you don't need to know how I felt. Go back to your family. I don't want you here."
Tears welled up in her eyes. "You're just hurting, you don't mean that."
"How do you know that, huh? You have no idea what it's like..." He said in a teary whisper. "Go away, Faith." He turned around and sat back into one of the chairs.
"Maybe you should go see the doctor now." Faith looked up to see Mary Proctor standing in front of her. Unable to reply, she just nodded her head and walked away as tears started to flow down her cheeks.
Mary stood there, studying Bosco for a moment. His eyes were closed, but she could tell he was crying.
She wasn't sure what had happened between them, but from what she'd learned in the past, Faith was the only one able to reason with him. Faith, and probably his mother. Unfortunately, the first wasn't apparently welcome anymore, and the latter was dead.
Following her instinct and firmly believing that sometimes it's easier to talk to a stranger than a friend or a relative, she took a seat next to him.
"I'm sorry, Bosco." She said softly. "We did everything we could."
"I know. It's just..." He opened his eyes and turned to face her. "It's not fair."
"I know."
"That's... that's the hardest part."
He sighed and pushed himself into a standing position. "She wanted to help me, you know. She was the one who was dying, but she knew that I had to..." his voice trailed off.
"You had to go on living after she was gone." She whispered, recalling the short conversation she'd witnessed as they were wheeling Rose up to surgery.
Bosco nodded.
"I'd have traded places with her in a heartbeat." He added quietly. "I'd have climbed into that bed and taken all the pain. I'd have done anything."
Mary stood up and touched his shoulder. "She knew it. And I could tell she loved you very much."
Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out a golden necklace with a cross-shaped pendant. "I've got something for you." She said as she handed it to him. "We found it in the trauma room. Must've fallen while we were moving her to the bed.
Bosco stared at the small object until it was nothing more than a blur through the tears, then took a deep breath to try and calm himself down. These people had already seen too much. "Think I can see her one last time?"
She smiled. "Sure. I'll take you to her."
***
Leonard Marks nearly chocked on his sandwich as he read the headlines of Channel Four News and realized he and his brother had screwed up. Big time.
They'd spent the whole night celebrating, driving around and drinking beer until dawn, and then fallen asleep, letting the effects of the alcohol wear off.
Leonard always been a light sleeper, so when the son of a bitch in the apartment next to them had crashed what sounded like a lamp against the wall, he'd woken up and decided to make himself a snack.
Shooting up with an empty stomach wasn't smart, and he needed a hit badly.
Grabbing the remote, he put up the volume. Fuck.
J was going to be pissed, and Vernon... he really didn't want to think about Vernon.
He pushed himself off the chair and shuffled to the other room. "Wake up, man. We got a problem."
Jermaine groaned and rolled over in the bed, pulling the blankets higher up to cover his head.
"I'm serious, bro. This is one you're gonna want to hear." Leonard insisted as he turned on the light.
"Son of a bitch! What the hell is wrong with you, man?" his brother protested, bringing a hand up to his forehead to shield his eyes from the bright light.
"The cop's alive."
"What?"
"I just heard the news, man. They're showing his house and stuff. You killed his mother."
"Shit." Jermaine tossed the covers aside and jumped out of bed. "His mother?" He ran a hand over his bald head.
"Yeah. Some lady from Queens." Leonard leaned against the wall. "How in hell did you fuck that up, man?"
Jermaine reached over and grabbed his brother's shirt, twisting it tightly around his fist. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"Nothing, man. Nothing..." he said, holding his hands out in defense. "But Vernon's gonna be mad. We were supposed to check, you know, make sure he was alone." He broke free of Jermaine's grasp and sat on the edge of the bed. "Now what?"
"Now we fix it, Len! We find out where he is, and we take care of it."
Leonard nodded. "I'll get dressed."
TBC...