A Hopeless Wound (15/15)
...
A/N: Okay, here it is. The final chapter. I was supposed to post it a few days ago but my computer crashed and I had to type it again. I thought I'd shed enough tears on this one, but every time I read some words, or a small paragraph, I still cry over it. :(
This story's been my favourite so far. When I started it, I wasn't sure what your reaction would be, but then I read your wonderful reviews and believe me, your constant support is one of the reasons I finished it. Thank you everyone for sticking with me. I know this is a sad one, so I appreciate it even more. A special thank you goes to my beta reader Bobbie who's been there for me throughout the whole process, encouraging me when I thought what I'd written was crap.
I'm still crossing my fingers that TPTB decides NOT to follow my idea. This is a work of fiction, but in the 'real' TW, Rose has to be okay. She just can't die. Btw, if something 'good' has come out of "Monsters", it's been the whole funeral scene. I had no idea how these thing work in the US and found it very helpful. Other than that, I'm still dealing with it...
This chapter is dedicated to my fellow Charlie Day fan Fyre. I'll be back. Eventually. :)
Enjoy
...
Chapter fifteen
...
"Are you ready?"
"Would you ever be?"
Faith lowered her head. "I'm sorry. I just wanted to..."
"I know."
His head was down, but he didn't flinch or even move when her hand touched his shoulder, instead welcoming it as a much-needed, reassuring gesture.
Everything was ready for the wake at the funeral home: the flowers, the music, the people. Everything but Bosco, who'd needed an extra moment to compose himself before the whole thing began and was standing outside the building, hands stuffed deep in his pockets not to let anyone see they were shaking.
He'd been discharged from the hospital a few hours earlier, just in time to swing by his place to change and arrange the final details with the funeral director.
"Where's Mikey?"
"He's waiting inside."
Bosco nodded. If it wasn't for his brother, he'd probably still be staring at the wall in the ICU room.
Michael had unexpectedly been able to succeed where everyone else had failed. He'd gotten through to him, reaching out a hand and pulling him back from the edge of the abyss he was about to fall into.
Not only had he helped him see that there was still a life worth living, but he'd also promised he would be there for him every step of the way.
If something good had come out of all this, it was the realization that they'd found each other again.
"Should we uh, head back in there?" he asked, pointing to the door, as if a negative answer could change the course of events and they could walk away from the place believing none of it had ever happened.
"Take your time. We'll go when you're ready."
Patching up his relationship with Mikey had also helped him clear things out with Faith.
She'd never given up on him. Not once during those long days at Mercy, tiredlessly waiting outside his door until he'd found the nerve to let her in.
It had been a heartfelt discussion, the kind only true friends share. They'd both apologized, each conscious of their own mistakes, and eventually agreed to do their best to salvage what was left of their friendship.
Realizing that it usually takes the tragedy of a loss to understand how much we care about someone, and with the wound still fresh in their hearts, they'd vowed never to take the other for granted again.
"She was right, you know?"
"Who?"
"My mom. She said in time, everything was gonna be all right between us."
Faith pressed her lips together in an attempt to hold back tears.
"Mothers are always right." She replied after a long pause, offering him a sad smile. "That's what they usually say."
"Yeah."
He ran a hand through his hair. "I still can't believe she's gone."
"I know."
Bosco turned away from her for a moment, drawing in a deep breath and rubbing his tired face, then squared his shoulders and locked his gaze on the half-open door of the funeral home.
The familiar tough-guy demeanor was back. He'd weathered the storm and pulled himself together, at least enough to face the crowd of friends and relatives waiting inside.
"I'm ready."
...
"...The Lord is my shepherd: I shall not want. He maketh me to lay down in green pastures..."
The priest's sympathetic voice filled the air as he talked about God, Fate and Heaven, carried by a faint northern breeze that played with the neatly arranged flowers and scattered leaves all around the cemetery.
Bosco barely heard it. Standing at his mother's grave, a simple long-stemmed rose in his hand, all he could hear was the beating of his own heart.
His eyes were fixed on the purple banner on top of the casket, studying every single letter of the word "Mother" engraved on it.
What he'd been through -the kidnapping, the beatings, Vernon Marks and his brothers, seemed like a memory from a previous life.
"... Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me..."
Faith casted a sideway glance at him as once again, tears prickled her eyes.
He looked weak and thin, the stress and lack of sleep no doubt starting to catch up with him, robbing his eyes of the fierce sparkle that had always characterized him. She couldn't bear to see him in such an uncomfortable state.
The function at the funeral home had been a walk in the park compared to this.
On his right, elegant in a dark blue suit, Mikey kept his gaze downward, as if afraid to face the truth of a reality that was too much to bear.
Still surprised at the number of people who had gathered to pay their last respects to Rose, she turned her head to the side and met Ty's gentle, brown eyes as the priest continued to talk.
"... Nothing wounds the human heart more deeply than the loss of a loved one. Death marks the end of our life on this earth, but for those who believe in God and the power of His love, it is also the beginning of another life where the Lord himself, in goodness and kindness, welcomes us in his house. 'I am the Good Shepherd,' Jesus says. 'I go to prepare a place for you.' "
He paused for a second, studying the grieving faces around him.
"As we mourn the loss of our beloved Angela Rose and pray for those who love her, we shall believe that she's in God's house now, waiting for us to join her in the after-life that we so eagerly await."
Bosco closed his eyes and prayed with all his might that the man was indeed right, and that his mother was really somewhere else. Someplace safe, where there would be no crying, no suffering, only long-deserved joy and happiness.
That's what they'd always taught him, and though he wasn't sure his faith was strong enough to accept it, he willed himself to believe it. She would wait for him, looking out for her sons until the day when they would be reunited again.
Forcing back tears, he squeezed Mikey's shoulder. He felt that if he ever started shedding them, he'd never be able to stop.
Suddenly, the world blurred in front of his eyes and he was back in his bedroom, kneeled over her still form, watching her precious blood stain the pavement. He blinked, and in the next moment found himself inside her hospital room as the heart monitor beeped with alarm.
The memories were back, messing with his mind. How was he supposed to move on?
Despite all his efforts to control himself, a tear leaked from the corner of his eye.
Some wounds could not be mended. The demons couldn't all be settled.
As his brother returned the gesture he blinked again, and the world snapped back into view. He swallowed down hard and looked around, realizing that the priest had stopped talking and that Faith was eyeing him worriedly.
"Bos," she gently called him.
He touched his cheek. Shit. He was crying.
"It's time."
He nodded his head and walked up to the casket, placing the rose on top of it.
"I love you, Ma." He whispered as his hand lingered on the wooden surface. He stood there for a moment, reluctant to break that last contact with her, then turned around and resumed his place, allowing Michael to do the same.
The two brothers hugged, both mumbling words that couldn't express what they were truly feeling.
"It's gonna be all right, Mike." He said solemnly, mostly to reassure himself than him.
Almost overwhelmed by the heartbroken sadness that surrounded him and feeling the intensity of everyone's gaze, he had the sudden urge to run away, to hide in some deep, dark place where no one could look at him too closely and see that he was afraid. Afraid of everything –his future, his life, his career.
His legs went weak a few moments later when the casket was lowered into the ground, and he had to physically restrain himself from yelling that no, she didn't deserve to be buried so deep, concealed from the world and the people who loved her.
"I'm right here, Bosco." Faith whispered, feeling her chest tighten.
He reached for her hand and held it tight. "Thank you."
As the services came to an end and everyone slowly moved towards their cars, Bosco swiped at his eyes and met his partner's gaze.
"Everything's gonna be all right." She murmured with renewed strenght.
He looked at her trustingly and nodded in agreement.
Maybe this time it would really be true.
...
Faith eased her hand from the steering wheel, resting her elbow on the window as she waited for the light to turn green.
Another block and they'd reach the place where they'd agreed to meet after the services.
She sighed.
The ride from the cemetery had been a long, silent one. Bosco had insisted they'd drive in his car instead of the black, ugly-looking limo, but he was obviously too distraught to sit behind the wheel and had easily given up his keys when she'd asked for them.
Getting him to leave had been a totally different story.
He would take a step forward and then turn around to stare at the freshly-dug grave with tears in his eyes, shake his head to apologize only to stop again a moment later and start it all over again.
Watching him, Faith couldn't help but wonder how her own kids would react to such a terrible loss.
Despite being a cop herself and having come pretty close to dying a few months before she'd never really thought about that. Only now, in the light of her best friend's distressing experience, it came painfully clear just how much a sudde death can affect the people who love you.
Would Emily and Charlie be able to handle what Bosco was currently going through?
Age difference aside, it was the unique relationship he'd shared with Rose that had brought her to question her role as a mother and the impact that her disappearance would have in their lives.
"You can go now."
Bosco's voice shook her back to the present. "What?"
"The light. It's green."
"Oh." Her lips broke into a small smile. "I guess I zoned out for a moment."
He didn't acknowledge her reply, instead retreating back into his broken, messed-up world.
As much as he tried to fight it, he still had these spells in which he found himself distancing from reality.
Sometimes, little things got him going, like a smell or a commercial on TV. He'd feel a memory stirring, struggling to come up to the surface, and tried his best to push it down again.
Other times, when he was still in the hospital, he'd stand in front of the mirror in the small bathroom, looking into his own eyes and trying to get some sense of the man living there.
The anxiety attacks had lessened over the last couple days, but he knew he had a long road ahead of him before he could put everything behind.
He inhaled deeply and glanced out the window, becoming finally aware of their location.
Faith hadn't told him where they were going, but he realized he knew the area like the back of his hand.
His body stiffened as an irrational fear took hold of him, and he wished she'd just driven him home.
The first click of the turn signal interrupted his thoughts and he jumped as if a gun had fired.
"Bos? You alright?" Faith asked quietly.
He managed to turn his head. She was looking at him with genuine concern.
"Faith, why... what are we doing here?"
"I'm sorry, I know we didn't tell you, but Mikey thought it'd be a good idea to get together after the services."
Bosco ran a hand over his face. "I'm not sure I can do this..." His voice barely audible.
"It's gonna be okay." She said, turning in the seat so she was facing him. "Trust me."
Slumping his shoulders in defeat, he glanced out the window again as the car slowed down and the bar finally came into view.
His eyes widened.
"What is this?" He asked, staring at the brand-new sign over the entrance, the words "Rose's Bar" spelled out in red, gothic type.
Faith smiled and reached over to push the buckle release. "I think you should ask your brother."
Bosco hesitated for a moment, then forced his way out of the vehicle, still unable to tear his gaze off it. "Mikey did this?"
"Yeah." She opened the door and motioned for him to get in. "You should see the inside. He's worked real hard."
Soft music greeted them as they stepped in, mixed with the low hum of people talking.
Bosco froze in his tracks. The place was nothing like he remembered it, especially after the way he'd trashed it the night his mother had died. The lights, the furniture, the equipment -everything was new. If it wasn't for his friends' familiar faces, he'd have thought he'd come to the wrong place.
"Hey, bro!" Mikey called from behind the counter. "How'd you like the place?"
He put down the rag he was using to wipe it off and walked up to him.
Bosco shook his head, struggling to keep his emotions in check. Here was his kid brother, shouldering responsibilities for the first time in his life and proving that people can indeed change if they really want it.
"You did this all by yourself?" He eventually managed to ask.
Mikey smiled, a proud expression on his face. "Mostly. Your friends helped me out with the money and the cleaning, but the rest was all me."
Bosco turned to look at Faith, searching her eyes for any proof that she'd been involved in this the whole time. She winked at him but didn't reply. He glanced around the room. Ty nodded at him, raising his beer in his honor, and so did Sully, Swersky and a couple other officers.
"So, you like it?"
"I... That's great. I really don't know what to say."
"Thought it was a good place to start, you know? To do something good with my life. This way we won't lose it and I'm gonna have a real job."
"Wait," he interrupted him as the true meaning of his words sunk in. "That means you own it now?"
"-We- do." Mikey announced brightly. "Well, technically my name's on the contract but, you know, that don't mean anything, man."
Bosco ducked his head, feeling dangerously close to tears again.
Keeping the bar had been his main concern. He knew he didn't have neither money nor time to invest on it, but at the same time didn't want to give up a part of his mother's life. He couldn't believe Michael had solved it all.
"You did good, Mike. Mom would be proud of you."
"Thanks, bro." The younger man replied, patting him on the shoulder.
Before either of them could say anything more, the dog came running from the back of the room, heading towards Bosco, excitedly wagging its tail and barking to get his attention.
He stood still for a moment, staring at the animal as it jumped all around him.
He didn't remember much since escaping from the building where Leonard and Jermaine had held him captive, but after hearing Michael's story about how it'd apparently led Faith to where he was and basically saved his life he wondered if it was some kind of sign, that his mother had sent it to take care of him.
As childish and stupid as it sounded, that's what he needed to believe.
"I think he likes you, Mo." Mikey laughed.
Bosco kneeled down and stroked its head, feeling strangely at ease in its presence.
"Hey, buddy. I heard I owe you one."
The dog barked once more as if to reply, then crouched down at his feet.
"Yeah, he definitely likes you." Faith echoed. "I think you should keep him."
He nodded. "Yeah. I'd like to."
Having something to greet him at the end of the day would definitely be nice. He wasn't sure he could bear the silence of his apartment.
"What do you say, pal?" He asked as he patted its back. "Need a roommate?"
The dog barked again.
"Well, I guess it's all settled then."
Rising to full height, he noticed Davis standing right next to him.
"Hey."
"Hey."
"It's good to see you back on your feet."
"Yeah. Listen, I... Thanks, Ty."
Davis waved a dismissive hand. "Ah, don't even mention it. We didn't do anything special."
"I'm serious, man." Bosco continued, running a hand through his hair. "This... you have no idea how much it means to me."
"Then I'm glad we could help." He replied, taking a sip of his beer.
You sure did, Bosco thought to himself. He nodded and walked over to the stools, carefully lowering himself into one.
His sore ribs still hurt, though it was the implications of what he'd just learned that he still needed to absorb.
He'd never thought of his friends at work as family, at least not in the most 'private' sense, but after all they'd done to help him and Michael he was starting to think them differently.
His eyes roamed across the room, taking in the sight of the beautifully renovated place, and his lips curved into a small smile.
Yep. Mothers are always right.
A moment later, Faith sat down next to him.
"You alright?"
He shrugged. "I'll survive."
"Good. I'm sort of counting on that."
THE END