Author's Notes:-Thanks To Stonedtoad for betaing.
SAM
What an insane few days.
When we made it back from Abydos every one of us just wanted to get out of Cheyenne Mountain and head somewhere, anywhere else.
Janet refused to let Teal'c out of the infirmary but the rest of us came back to Jack's house. SG1's other meeting place.
x
I can't believe what happened the second we stepped through the Gate. Out of the Gate and into a firefight, fabulous. Then Apophis appearing and Sha're being there leaving with him.
Daniel looks absolutely awful.
He's still in shock I think but the Colonel refused to leave him alone in the infirmary to brood. I watched as he curled up on the couch and stared blankly at the wall. Looking at nothing his mind thousands of light years away before Colonel O'Neill forced him to go and get some sleep.
Even the quick explanation Teal'c gave us sounded bad enough. I can wait for the full debriefing.
I was hoping to talk to Daniel before this happened, he's the only one I feel could help me just now but until he recovers from the last few days I'll have to keep this to myself.
x
Dad has cancer.
How can Dad, MY DAD, have cancer?
And the way he told me; it was like it didn't even matter. Like it was just something no worse than a damn papercut.
I can barely take it in.
I should call Mark; I'll have to. Dad won't.
What a conversation that'll be:
"Hey Mark, how are you? By the way Dad has cancer and he's dying. Enjoy your day."
This can't be right. There HAS to be some sort of mistake; it can't be true.
x
But if it is there has to be something out there, out through the Stargate that can save him. And I'll find it.
I'll find it and I'll save him.
What use is it having technology like that if it doesn't help us?
x
I know Dad and I rarely see each other, God I was shocked to see him in Washington, but I know if he dies there will be a gaping hole in my life.
I can't even tell him what I do and why I was receiving the medal. It's so frustrating I can't tell him his little girl was part of a team responsible for saving the entire world.
Turning down his offer of a place in NASA hurt because I couldn't even tell him why. I couldn't explain that I worked on something so important to humans.
I wanted to tell him that I had already been in space and a lot further than anyone had been by shuttle. I wanted to tell him everything I had seen and all we had done especially why I was receiving the medal.
But I couldn't and I can't.
x
But I refuse to give in to this.
So I will take those three guys, my teammates, my friends and we'll find something to help him.
I have to because I don't think I can face the alternative.