Author's Notes:-Thanks To Stonedtoad for betaing.
DANIEL
I can't believe I had to let her go.
I hid and watched as Apophis took her from me again. God it hurt just to sit there. I couldn't even try to stop it because we would have ended up dead then she'd have no hope left.
x
I was so confused the way Kasuf marched us to the town.
Then I saw her.
Sha're was sitting there working as she always did. As she glanced up the look of horror that passed over her face when she saw that I could see where the child was struck me like a knife. When I realised who the father was I couldn't handle it, I just suddenly filled with pure rage and hate.
And I was so angry that I left.
I walked out and abandoned her when she needed me most. I heard her cry out but I didn't care.
Thankfully Teal'c made me realise how selfish I was being.
When I walked back in and she thought I hated her I just felt ill that she didn't know how much I love her, how she is the one who completes me. Then she asked me to forgive her. That rocked me to the core.
Taking her in my arms I held onto her and I promised to take her home with me, I promised she would be safe, I promised I would find some way to help her and we would be together again.
But I wasn't able to keep those promises and she's gone again.
x
At least the child is safe.
I can still hear her begging me to stop it coming, knowing that the Gould would resurface. Knowing that we would be separated again and the possibility we would never find each other ever again was there.
When I refused to leave her in the cave alone she smiled in relief.
I can still hear her voice whisper to me, "You do love me."
x
The child, he was so beautiful. So tiny and delicate.
At least I could protect him.
It's like a hot twisting knife in me and the pain is unbearable. Apophis gave her the one thing I couldn't.
A child.
We had wanted a baby for so long. I wanted the family I never had and it wasn't through lack of trying but Sha're had never become pregnant.
x
Why weren't we fast enough to bring her home? Why did this have to happen? Why did Heru'Ur have to choose the moment we were trying to leave to come? Because he arrived the baby started to come and I lost everything again.
x
Jack dragged me here with Sam. I think he felt it would be a good idea for me not to stay in the infirmary though I know Janet wanted me to stay there. Maybe there I could have something to help me sleep.
Jack looked in recently and I pretended I was sleeping. There is no point in him losing sleep.
x
But I know that I found her once and I will find her again.
I promise Sha're I'll find you and we'll be together once more.
I promise.
I promise.
I promise.