"Well....here we are."

Jupiter, Venus and Mercury stood at the base of the stairs inside of the building. From upstairs, the sounds of screams and shouts could be heard.

"Let's hope that Mars isn't dead yet," Venus blushed.

"Well," The Jupiter Rod appeared. "Let's take their attention away from Rei-chan."

Lightning began to sizzle from the rod. It crackled down to Jupiter's hands as she stood towards the door.

"Sparkling Wide....Pressure!"

Ka-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM

The lightning ripped off the door of the first classroom. It fell, and clattered to the floor with a loud bang which echoed through the hall.

"......Ow."

There was a silence at this. There was no sound made, even upstairs, for the shouts of the students had died out as soon as the door had finished hitting the floor.

"......Where are they?"

Several moments passed before Venus' question was answered. Soon, students began roaring down the stairs, screaming, Black Moon signs flashing and auras glowing. Some pushed and shoved one another, as if they were at market and the last shark meat was to be snatched up by one lucky buyer.

"KILL THE SENSHI!" The crowd roared. "KILL!!!"

"AAAUGH!"

Venus swerved left and right, looking for the other two soldiers as the students rushed at her. She gave a whiny screech.

"WHERE did you guys GO?!?"

"In here!"

With a grunt, Jupiter grabbed Venus by the hair and dragged her through the destroyed doorway. With a growl, the students all piled into the classroom, shouting and pushing each other for the opportunity to attack.

"Holy....!"

Venus rubbed her head as the three soldiers braced themselves in the back of the room. Near the front, the students began to come together into one single unit, facing the three soldiers with reddened eyes.

"Ow....."

"For knowledge!" One of them pointed. "Attack!"

"Ok....." Mercury's eyes glared. "Girls, on the count of three......."

The students attacked en masse. Their screams were loud enough to crowd out Mercury's command; however, Jupiter and Venus looked at Mercury for any other signal as the students jumped up and screeched one more battle cry, their demonesque teeth all bearing down on the soldiers.

"........NOW!!!!!!!!!!"

Venus and Jupiter nodded. Mercury went first, bending down, and going head first under the crowd as gravity began to bring them back to the floor. Venus then followed suit, throwing herself under a desk as best as she could, dodging the students as she did. Jupiter, last, slid under the students on the floor, her bottom scraping the tiles and bruising as she did. As she freed herself from the bloodthirsty crowd, she gave one boy a good, hard kick in his pants.

"AWWK!"

"There." Jupiter stood up. "He looked like Nichogi-san."

"Ow....!!" Venus hit her head on a desk. "Dammit..."

"Mercury!" Jupiter shouted. "Hurry, before they get up!"

Mercury stood up straight and held her hands to her chest. The group had been so bent on the soldiers that they all piled on each other to get them. In the soldiers' dodging them, however, the students had turned into a giant mess of uniforms hair and shoes.

"Shine Aqua.....Illusion!"

The blast hit all of the students head on. The giant mound iced up, and solidified into a giant ice cube. Various frozen hands and feet stuck out of it like a Cubist statue.

"YES!" Jupiter gave Mercury a hug. "It worked!"

"Oh, thank you...." Mercury blushed.

"Good! Now..." Venus turned around. "Now that they're out of the way, let's go and-"

"Save your friend?"

The three girls turned around. Standing at the head of the classroom was Calaveras and Beruche, smiling. With them was a brown-haired teacher with cherry-red lips, who held a struggling Sailor Mars and an unconscious Luna by their necks.

"Syruuben." The cherry lips gave a sharp, toothy grin "Welcome, sailor soldiers."

"Looks like you're cornered." Calaveras nodded to Syruuben. "Go ahead, show them your true form."

"Syruuben!"

Above her, the light fixture flashed, and the teacher was engulfed in a red aura. Her form shofted and changed, and her eyes became blood red.

"Let...." Mars gasped. ".......me.....go!!!"

"Well, sailor soldiers..." Beruche chuckled menacingly. "It looks like you've met your match now. Droid, introduce yourself!"

A whistle came from the shifting form as the red aura disappeared. The droid, a pale feminine one, stood about six feet tall. She was somewhat stout, and had large breasts which hung out of a yellow tuxedo top and a white ruffled tuxedo shirt. Her bottom consisted of a large, pink tutu and ballerina slippers. Her brown hair, now orange, was slicked up to one side. On her collar was a pola-dot tie, which was held up by a Black Moon gem.

"What the-"

"LAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADIES and GEEEEEEEEEENTLEMEEEEEN!!" The droid spoke again, this time with a raspy voice. "WEEEELCOME to TRIIIIVIA HEEEEEEELLL! Starring Syruuuuuuuuuuuben, your HOOOOOOOOST!!!"

"Eww...."

Venus sweat as the droid put sunglasses on. It grinned evilly at the soldiers.

"SYRRUUUUBEEEEN!" The droid turned to the two sisters. "Don't worry, sister-buns! I'll be AAAAAAAA-OKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAAAAY with them!!!"

"Uh....." Calaveras began to sweat. "Um.......sister....."

"Oh, why...." Beruche began t sweat even more. "Y-yes, ok......damn, you are very feisty in thi-this form....!"

"Of COOOOOOOURSE!!!!" Throwing Mars and Luna aside, Syruuben posed, showing her polka-dot underwear in the process by accident. Feces marks dotted the panties as well. "I'm the smartest girl in the UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNIverse! SyruuBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEN!"

"Yuck!" Venus gagged. "Those are SOILED!"

"Oh....oh dear...." Mercury covered her eyes.

"......Right...." Beruche turned to Calaveras. "This.....is awkward, elder sister."

"You have no need to tell me that." Calaveras gulped. "Man, she is ugl-"

"Let us leave!" Hastily, Beruche grabbed Calaveras' hand. "And so we......ahem.....leave our.....combined creation to you! Destroy them, Syruuben!"

With that, the two sisters disappeared, laughing nervously as they did. Syruuben turned to the soldiers and gave a smile. Mars meanwhile, slowly stood up and walked over to the others, glaring at them as she did.

"Ugh!" Mars growled. "You took your sweet time, friends. That......thing smells like piss!"

"Sorry!" The three girls turned red. "We had to get Usagi-chan away from here."

".....Usagi-chan?"

"Yeah." Mercury looked up. "She got possessed too. Artemis has her hooked up."

"....Right." Mars' head went down. "I understand."

"So we'd better get rid of this creature quickly!"

"SYRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUBEN!!!!"

The creature gave a stomp, followed by a growl. The four soldiers turned to look at the monster with expressions of disgust on their faces.

"Bluh...."

"SOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!" the droid's voice boomed. "You will challenge MEEEEEEE!!!!!"

"Uh...." Jupiter wiped her nose. "I guess.......I guess so......"

"OooooooooooooKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAY!!!!" The monster posed. "Lets begin THE CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALLENNNNNNGE!!!!"

The lights flashed above them, and the soldiers found themselves standing inside booths. On each of them was a microphone, and a timer, and all four were tied up. The classroom had changed as well; it looked more like a flashy soundstage for a game than what it truly was.

"Wha?!?" The soldiers looked around, confused. "What's going on?!?"

"How the...." Jupiter struggled. "How the hell did we get tied up?!?"

"Its TIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIME," Syruuben reappeared in a spotlight with a microphone. "Foooooooooooooor the QUESTIOOOOOOOOOONS! Let's starts with our first contestant, SAAAAAAAILOR MAAAAAAAARS!!!!"

With that, the droid snapped her fingers, causing a radio to appear. She pressed play, and the sounds of canned cheering came from the speakers.

"This thing is insane...." Venus sweat. "Really.......really, really insane...."

"QUESTION!!!" The droid brought up a card. "Name the mathematical genius who published almost 400 books on the subject in his lifetime ALOOOONE!"

"..................................uh......" There was a silence. "...........................Newton?"

"WRONG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Syruuben sneered. "HAHAHA! Where'd you learn THAT? That's like saying da Vinci invented the car!! Looks like you're gone, hon! BYEEE!!!"

With a gasp, Mars' booth flashed, and the booth - and Mars - disappeared.

"EEEEEEEEEK!" Venus screeched. "Oh no, I'm next!"

"NEEEEEXT! Our next contestant, SAILOOOOOOOOR VENUUUUUUUUUS!!!! Syruuben!!!!!!" Another canned cheer. "Wheeeeeeeeere was the Battle of Britain fought???"

".....What?" Venus looked confused. "What kind of question is that?"

"WROOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG!"

"WHAT?!? But I didn't eve-"

Venus disappeared with a flash, her sentence left unfinished. Jupiter looked at Mercury warily; she was next.

"Hooooo boy."

"QUESTION!!!!!!!!" More cheers. "WHOOOOOOOOOO holds the record for MOST home runs IN ONE SEEEEEESAON in the American baseball leagues!?!"

".....Hey, that's an easy one!" A smile came across Jupiter's face. "Barry Bonds, of course!"

"WR.......Right. Syruuben."

Suddenly, Jupiter's booth flashed. She, too disappeared.

"What the...." Mercury gasped and turned towards the droid. "But....she got the question right!"

"Yes, she diiiid!" Syruuben giggled. "Which meeeeeeans she must be PUNISHED! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! SYRUUUUUUUUBEN!!!!!!!"

Mercury began to sweat profusely. She began to struggle violently against her bonds, almost to the point where she began to bleed. However, it was of no use. She gave the droid a glare.

".......Cheater!"

"HA!" Syruuben jumped up and down, her breasts falling out of the tuxedo. "Its my game. Syruuben. And I'm the smartest girl in the world, so it doesn't matter what peons think. And you're a peon."

"You...."

"Stop right there!!"

Mercury's head came up. Her eyes bolted towards the door. In a flash, the game show turned back into a classroom.

"Your friends."

"Mako-chan. Ami-chan. Rei-chan. Mina-chan. I did all of that to them."

"Rectify it! Go and stop the droid!"

"......Right!"

"Huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh?" The droid turned around. She blinked, then gave a start. "Wh-wh-wha?!?"

"Hmph."

Sailor Moon returned the stuttering droid's shock with a glare. She stood in the doorway, her hands on her hips.

"Sa.......Usagi-chan......." Mercury's eyes began to water up. "Can it be....?"

Sailor Moon looked over at Mercury. As their eyes met, she gave the blue-haired sailor a small, sad smile.

"I......." Sailor Moon looked back at the droid. "I....hurt people because of you. But no more. For love and justice - though not the smartest of them all - the pretty soldier Sailor Moon! In the name of the moon, you're punished!"

"Syruuben......"

Syruuben took several steps back. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes, and with a flash disappeared.

"Eh?" Sailor Moon's eyes widened. "Wha-"

"USAGI-CHAN!"

Sailor Moon turned around to face Mercury. Her eyes met Mercury's once more, just as her booth disappeared in a brief flash of light.

"Ami-chan!!"

"Heheheheheheh....."

"Y-you....!!!!"

Sailor Moon dropped to her knees. She pounded the ground and gave a moan.

"Aaaugh! Too late!" Her eyes began to fill with tears. "I got here too late...."

"Heheheheheh." The voice of the droid cackled in the air in response. "You don't care about knowledge anymore? You want to save your friends instead, Tsukino-san?"

"Huh?"

"I know your identity. Syruuben." The classroom began to darken. "You're the dense girl. I'd know you from anywhere. That's how smaaaaaart I am!!!"

"Dense?!" Sailor Moon clenched her teeth. "Why you...!"

Sailor Moon was cut short by the sound of the howling wind. The classroom had disappeared once more, to be replaces by a dark, unending vortex.

"Wh-what the-?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?" Sailor Moon's head flew about. "Where am I now?!?"

"Listen well, Sailor Moon," The raspy voice of Syruuben suddenly echoed through the void. "For lives may very well depend on your answer to….the riddle."
"R-riddles?" Sailor Moon began to sweat. "I hate riddles!"
"If you answer correctly, I'll let you and your friends go." The monster's voice gave a chuckle. "Syruuben. Faaaaaaail….."
"Ok, ok! I know what happens if I fail," Sailor Moon squeaked. "Just tell me the damn riddle already!"
"Then listen, and listen well!" The voice crackled through the air. "This riddle WILL NOT BE REPEATED!"

Suddenly, a light flashed, blinding the soldier. With a screech, Sailor Moon covered her eyes, only to find a soft garment covering them for her.

"Huh…?" She felt around. "A…blindfold?!"
"Ah ah ah, Sailor Moon!"

As Sailor Moon felt near the back, a jolt surged through her hand. She gave a yelp and jumped back.

"Wh-what's all this?!"
"Listen well, for you will not hear this again." Sailor Moon could feel dark energy swirl around her. "Your friends' lives are now in your hands, for only you can answer this riddle. And only you can decide your friends' fates. Heheh…"

As if on an unseen command, Sailor Moon's hands flew up, as if to accept something. In response, she felt the cold steel of a gun slip into her grip.

"Here is the riddle."

In front of Sailor Moon, though she could not see, was a field of sand with a brick wall in it. The heads of the four sailors - one on one side of the wall, the other three on the other side, each facing the wall - barely stuck out from the surface, All four were gagged.

"Mmmmph! MPPPH!!"
"Sai….sailors?!" Sailor Moon went to step forward. "Guys-!"
"Stop!" Instead of going forward, the soldier was stopped by a force field. "You can't go further. Listen to my riddle or else!"
"…Meh…." Sailor Moon nervously felt the gun. "O-o-k-k…"
"Good girl." There came another chuckle. "Now then. Syruuben. Let us do role playing. You are a sadistic torturer who has buried these four helpless girls up to their necks in sand."
"What?!" Sailor Moon went to take the blindfold off. "I'm not a sadi-AACK!"
"Shut up, stop struggling and PAAAAAAAAAY ATTENTION!!!!!" The demon laughed as Sailor Moon was zapped again. "You have issued a challenge to these girls involving the hats you have forced them to wear. Two black, two white."

On cue, four dunce caps - two black, two white - appeared on each of the soldiers' heads. The soldiers again struggled to no avail.

"You have given them ten minutes to figure out who is wearing what hat. But, only one person can shout their color out, and only one of them can figure out which hat they wear." A clock began to tick in Sailor Moon's mind. "You must figure it out. Which of your four friends knows what color hat they are wearing? If you are right, I'll leeeeeeeet you go. But if you're wroooooooooong....."

Sailor Moon's blood chilled as her hands, beyond her command, took up the gun and clicked the chamber open. Another chuckle came from the droid.

"RemEEEEEEEEEEMBEEEEER!!!" The droid's voice disappeared. "Ten miiiiinutes! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

At this, the blindfold was taken off of Sailor Moon's eyes, and she saw everything clearly. Mercury was the lone figure on the left side of the wall, and the other three faced the wall on the other side. All were gagged, and it was apparent to Sailor Moon that none of them could move.

"O......ok...." Sailor Moon gulped. "Ok, who would know.............Damnit, this clock in my head is....annoying....."

For a good several minutes, the girl's mind raced. She could not figure it out. Whether it was her dense mind, or her fear, or her own reluctance, she was not sure. The time ticked by, and her mind painfully registered each passing second as a countdown to destruction. Her mind even made out a diagram of what was in front of her:

oooo

Ami - -Minako-Rei-Makoto

Yet for almost nine minutes, her mind could not figure it out. Her mind kept slipping:

Makoto Rei Jupiter jnj jnj nj nj an an and clan land.....ugh......ftf......What the f.......wth.........hit hit stop STOP STOP!!! Come on.........think, THINK. Sailor Moon looked nervously from one soldier to the next. Who, who is it? You're not smart anymore, but your life depends on it. Their lives depend on it. Come on......come on.......

Then, as the clock wound down, it finally hit her. Somehow, in the fogginess of her unintelligent mind, the truth came to her.

"OOOOOH!" She pointed. "Mako-chan!"

Jupiter was the furthest to the right, wearing a black cap. She faced Venus and Mars, both with their respective hats.

"Well, I mean, if they're all facing the same direction....Mako-chan can see the other two, and she can figure out what kind of hat she's wearing, right?" The gin began to raise. "I mean....I'm right, right? Say something!"

"......Syruuben...."

Sailor Moon felt her hands tremble as the gun was brought up to her waits. Then, without any prompting on her part, the gun was suddenly cocked and aimed.

"No.....NO!!!!" Sailor Moon screamed. "I.......I was wrong?!?"

"SYRUUBEN!"

"No......"

"........No, you were right." The voice cackled. "But I changed my mind. I want to kill you anyways. Syruuben! Nobody beats my knowledge and gets away with it!"

"Wait......I was......"

Sailor Moon's eyes widened in shock as her fingers began to press on the trigger. It was aimed at Mercury, who struggled still to no avail.

I...... Sailor Moon shut her eyes. I got it right.

Ka-CHIIIIIIING

"H....."

Suddenly, A scream came from the droid, and the sound of shattering class filled Sailor Moon's ears. She slowly opened her eyes.

"......What?"

The gun was gone. The soldiers were one the floor, moaning.

"AAAAAAAAAAUGH!!!!!!!!"

The droid writhed in pain. Above her, the light, her power source, was shattered. In what remained of it, a red rose.

"Intelligence is the beauty of the beholder."

Sailor Moon turned. He was there, in the doorway, his cane pointed at the youma.

"But even the dullest-looking of minds holds beauty, for in its lustre is a wisdom not seen."

Sailor Moon gave a gasp. In response, Tuxedo Mask gave a slow, slow nod, and then turned around.

"Good bye."

"Wait...!"

Sailor Moon took a step forward. Her mind was filled with things to say, with what she always wanted to say about him. She wanted to talk to him once more. Yet he was gone before her mouth could even open again.

Mamo-chan....

"OWowowowowowowowEEEEEEEE!!!!"

Sailor Moon turned back towards the droid. The poor droid was black from the energy expenditure, and her sunglasses had fallen to the floor. She gave several whimpers.

"How....Syruuben...." she sniffed. "I'm smarter than you and.....you......you beeeeeeeeeat MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

With that, the droid, to Sailor Moon's shock, began to wail violently. Soon, there was an inch of tear water on the floor.

"What the...."

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!" The stench of Syruuben's bad breath began to fill the room. "I CAN'T DO ANNNNNNNNNYTHIIIIIIIIING RIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!!! BOOOOOOHOOOOOO!!! I wanna EAAAAT ICE CREAM AND DROWN MY FEARS AND SORRRRRRRRROOOOOOOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

The next thing Sailor Moon knew, the droid was pulling on her skirt, blowing her nose. She slapped her head.

"AUUUUUGH!" She made a face. "Geez!"

"Syrrrrrrrrrrrruuuuuuben!!!!!" The droid whined. "Kill me!! KILL ME! PUT ME OUT OF MY MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISERY!!!!!!! I'M A FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAILURE!!!"

The other four soldiers looked on in total confusion as the droid wiped its nose on Sailor Moon. Mars, of course, couldn't help but chuckle at the sight.

"K-kill you?" Sailor Moon sweat. "You want me to....well, this is a first...."

"PLEEEEEEEEEEEASE!!!!!!" Sailor Moon had to cover her ears at the screeching. "Syruuben! I'll do anything to make you kill me!! Do you hear me?! Anything!!!"

"Don't worry," Venus mumbled. "You don't need any help with us...."

"Uh....."

"J-just tell me what I can do to convince you to KILL ME!!" The droid began to pull at Sailor Moon again. "If you don't, I'll go CRAZY and rip this school apart in utter desperation!!!!!"

The soldiers looked at one another. Then, they looked back on the droid. Indeed, she was the oddest droid - thing - they had ever chanced on in battle.

"Um...." Suddenly, everyone looked at Sailor Moon. "I...I know what you can do....."