Title: Shinwa Author: ZenosParadox Rating: PG
Summary: RS, Tu, Ma. Reed and Sato struggle to find their friendship in light of events during Zero Hour. Missing scenes for Zero Hour, Episode 24, season 3.
Notes: Shinwa is Japanese for friendship, fellowship or myth, legend, both of which I find appropriate for this story. Ai shite'ru is supposed to be I love you, I believe, although mostly I see it spelled ashiteru. Mild spoilers for the Zero Hour, 8 pages. Written May 29, 2004. Disclaimer: The characters belong to Paramount. This fiction was written solely for personal enjoyment.

SHINWA

Lost

Lieutenant Reed entered the quarters that housed Ensign Sato on the Xindi ship with a MACO at his side. Reed was a reluctant party to bringing this injured officer on the mission; however, he understood the potential benefit of her presence. The Captain had just ordered him to wake Sato up before it was time for the next medical procedure to cleanse her of the parasites the Xindi had left in her.

The Lieutenant carried a hypospray in his hand that contained a psychostimulant. It should not be lethal, assured the Doctor, but it would be of little use other than to wake the Ensign. In fact, Phlox had advised delaying it as much as possible. The Captain had not listened to Reed's arguments for long.

Hoshi Sato felt the hands on her shoulders and began thrashing even in her semi-conscious state. She felt more in control of herself, enough to try to fight the Reptilians. She would not endure another violation of her mind.

"Hoshi, calm down. I'm not here to hurt you."

The clipped tones of the man barely registered. She felt the pressure against her forehead again as she was injected. She opened her eyes for a moment and recognized the face of her tormenter, but instead of being comforted, the psychostimulant fed her paranoia.

She cried out, "How could you do this to me?"

Reed signaled to the MACO who was holding down the woman to leave. He kept a stoic expression to hide how much her words had ripped through his heart. He tried to touch her but she struck at his hand and backed away from him. He opted for using a soothing tone.

"Hoshi, it's Malcolm Reed. You're safe now. You're back with your crew."

Sato blinked her eyes and tried to concentrate on his words. "No, no, Phlox would be the one treating me, not you! What are you doing to me, you monster!"

He didn't try to reach for her again, but used a firm voice to say, "We're on a ship heading for the weapon. We need your help to destroy it, Ensign."

Panic seemed to flood her again and she looked around. Her eyes fell on the chronometer in the room and clearly recognized the notation. "I'm on a Xindi ship! You're lying to me."

"These Xindi are allies who want the weapon stopped as much as we do, Ensign. Look on the table. Those data PADDs are of human design."

Reed moved out of her way a bit so she could see them on the table. She stood on shaking legs and walked hesitantly to the table. Reed tried to steady her, but again she knocked away his touch. He quenched his frustration and disappointment at the thought that he was lost to his friend.

"These could have been manufactured," said the woman as she inspected the PADDs.

Reed rubbed at his lower lip. What evidence could he offer to convince her? "I returned the pearl; it should be in your pocket. If you could trust me to keep it safe for you, then please put a little faith my helping you now."

Hoshi finally looked at Malcolm. She tapped her breast pocket, and easily felt the two spheres that were held inside. She took them out and held them in the palm of her hand for a moment. The image had helped her focus on fighting the parasite that had invaded her mind. She sight of both pearls now helped calm her. She closed her eyes to absorb that feeling and her mind echoed with a word: shinwa, friendship. Malcolm really was here.

Hoshi put the pearls quietly back into her pocket once her breathing was steady again. She sat at the table but a wave of confusion hit her. She shook her head. "I can't think straight right now."

"Just do what you can, Ensign. Make sure the Captain sees you working," he said. He didn't want the Captain to order him to give her another dose of the stimulant. He tried to be reassuring as he added, "I'll be back after a while for the final medical procedure to rid you of the parasites."

The Lieutenant stepped out of the room while silently cursing his Captain.

-----

Reed approached Sato's room again and had to shake off the feeling that he was a sadistic prison guard. When he entered he saw the woman bent over the PADDs, just as the Captain said she would be. It was a bit early to begin the last medical procedure, but the Captain had argued against waiting longer given how Sato had still been confused about her environment. Reed had balked against another dose of the stimulant. Hoshi needed to be healed.

He relayed his orders. "Ensign, the Captain wants me to see to your next treatment."

"Not now, I'm busy," responded Sato tersely. She didn't even turn to look at him, but leaned over the PADDs.

Reed approached her carefully and put the container he carried on the table where she could see it. He spread his hands on the surface and didn't try to touch her, he just said, "It is my job to see to the well being of my crew, and I will do whatever is necessary to make sure you get the treatment prescribed by Doctor Phlox."

"I can't stand the thought of another injection." Sato stopped what she was doing and clutched her shoulders for a moment.

"You won't have to. The eel Phlox sent is quite minute; it's administered through eye drops. Another set of eye drops will allow me to remove it once it makes its circuit of your neocortex. That's how the good doctor explained it, anyway. I know what to monitor for."

"You just want to use me, just like the Xindi did. Even the Captain was shoving me around."

"He did what?" Reed was vexed at the description.

Sato immediately shook her head saying, "No, no, he wasn't violent. The Captain was treating me like--like some little girl a father takes to the table to clean up the mess she made." She sighed, "And I made a very big mess, Malcolm."

Reed relaxed his posture. Perhaps he still had a friend in the woman. "No one is blaming you, Hoshi, but if you want to look at it that way, then this is your chance to fix this mess. And the way to do that is not by forcing you to look at these PADDs. You need the procedure Phlox prescribed; it will help you think clearly."

"And if you do something wrong? What happens then? Will the eel kill me?"

"The procedure could leave you blind if I don't remove the eel in time," admitted Reed. "But I hope that you'll trust me, Hoshi, just like you did with your grandmother's pearls."

Malcolm saw a brief flash of warmth enter those brown eyes. Hoshi didn't smile, but at least she was no longer fighting him. Her voice was weary as she said, "You make a convincing Fix-it man, Lieutenant. What do I do?"

= = = = = = =

Found

Reed could feel no elation at the destruction of the Xindi weapon. He could only feel the loss of his Captain. He stood for a moment at Sato's door. He had seen her to her quarters on the Xindi ship before running to the bridge to check on the Captain's fate. Now he had to retrace his steps carrying the bad news. The Captain's words echoed in his mind. "Your job is to help Hoshi."

But who would be there to help Malcolm?

-----

Sato heard the door open, but didn't need to turn her head to know Reed had entered. She remained lying on the bed with her eyes closed as she asked, "Did we get the bad guys, Lieutenant?"

"Yes, Ensign, we did." Reed moved to stand by the bed. He wanted to reach out and seek comfort from her, but her physical rejection of his touch was not something he wanted to experience again.

"The Captain?" Her voice was quiet.

"The Captain--the Captain paid the price, Hoshi."

His voice broke as he said her name and her heart felt his need for comfort. She opened her eyes and found him merely standing by the bed with rigid posture. He would not burden her with his sorrow, but this time, she finally saw Malcolm Reed, her friend. Shinwa, she thought again.

Hoshi knelt on the bed and looked into the face of grief. She knew she had tears streaming down her face as she wrapped her arms around him and let Malcolm bury his face against her.

-----

They sat for hours without saying a word while they mourned their Captain. Both felt miserable at his loss, but this was coupled with guilt for being angry at the way Archer had forced Sato on this mission to destroy the weapon. Ultimately, the Captain had seen the life of his two officers as more important than his own. The one consolation they could cling to was that Earth was now safe. Malcolm found his voice first.

"This mission has had an unacceptable casualty rate. We lost the Captain, but we've also lost three MACOs along with Major Hayes in the last few days alone."

"Hayes is dead? How?" asked Hoshi. Malcolm just squeezed her shoulder in response, and so she knew. "It was during my rescue, wasn't it?"

"Yes, I wanted him to do it just like I would have," said Malcolm. "I can't help but feel that it's just another case where someone died in my place, just like the Captain."

"No, Malcolm, if there is one person more stubborn than you, it's Jonathan Archer. He knew how to work people, but his heart was in the right place," responded Hoshi as she thought of the word shinwa, but this time, she thought of legend. She had a small smile on her face as she continued. "Do you know how he got me to leave Brazil early?"

Malcolm shook his head since he had not heard this part of the story.

"He played a recording of Klingon and practically dared me to walk away from the mission. And he did it with that damned charming smile, that confident gleam in his eye, and no apologies at manipulating me." Hoshi smiled sadly at that memory as she added, "And I fell for it hook, line and sinker."

"With me it was phase cannons," said Malcolm. "I had the opportunity to be First Officer on a scouter. I would have seen a lot of action on its patrols, but a week before I'm to be deployed, Jonathan Archer shows up. He put the schematics of the phase cannons in front of me and asked what I thought. I told him I was going to turn him in for violating security clearance."

"You threatened Jonathan Archer?" asked Hoshi in disbelief.

"You have to admit he marched to a different drummer when it came to protocol," said Malcolm as a reminder. "So, yes, I did threaten him."

"But how did you wind up on Enterprise after such a bad start?"

"The Captain said that he had violated nothing because he was showing his new tactical officer the weapons that would be at his disposal."

"He suckered you in, too, huh?" Hoshi laughed softly.

"Well, it was either accept the position or ruin the man's career by turning him in," admonished Malcolm, but he was also smiling gently at the memory. "But I'm sure he had the same charming smile and the same confident gleam in his eye he used on you. I think he got Phlox the same way."

"And Travis?"

"Oh, no, I recommended Travis to the Captain. He'd spent a rotation piloting one of the scouters I was assigned to. I knew that he'd be a good man at helm."

"We know how T'Pol came aboard." Hoshi waited for his nod before saying the name of the person who was most on their mind. "Trip was his friend, so he already had his engineer," sighed Hoshi. "Poor Trip, he's going to be devastated."

"I'm going to need your help, Hoshi. As the superior officer, I need to be the one to break the news to Trip and T'Pol, but I can't afford to be emotional."

"You can count on me for backup, Malcolm," said Hoshi as she clutched his hand in reassurance. On impulse, she unzipped the pocket of her uniform, and pulled out one of the pearls. "Here, don't return this one until we're both standing on Earth.

Malcolm looked at the pearl and realized how precious it would be to him. He had Hoshi's trust again and there was no way to put a price on that.

She closed his hand around the pearl and said, "Shinwa, it can mean friendship."

In spite of the sad events, both were relieved to have found their connection again.

= = = = = = =

Reconciled

"Hold him, Travis," ordered Reed as he and the helmsman approached Tucker. The chief engineer had opened his door only to be accosted by Reed and Mayweather. The entire Enterprise crew was basically furloughed while they were hitched a ride on the Xindi aquatic ship.

"What the hell is going on?" said Tucker as each man got a firm grip on his arm. Like Tucker, they were dressed in t-shirts and sweatpants.

"Ensign Sato has requested your presence at this evening's soiree," said Reed.

"And you know better than to stand up a lady," nodded Mayweather.

"I think I'll ask Phlox to have you all sedated," muttered Tucker as he gave control over to his friends.

"Ah, but we have a better way of achieving that, Commander," said Reed sagely. Mayweather nodded solemnly in agreement.

They were soon at Sato's quarters, but instead of her voice greeting them, Tucker heard the familiar bark. Arf!

"Porthos!" Tucker accepted the dog as he leapt out of Sato's arms. The beagle was intent on licking the man's face. Finally, he looked around and noticed a bottle of Andorian ale on the table along with a tray of cheese and crackers. "So, what's going on?"

"It's a wake for Jonathan Archer. We won't keep you long, and we only have a third of the bottle left, but this time you had to be a part of the party," said Sato. "Welcome."

Tucker saw the others nod in agreement and had to blink away his tears. "Okay by me, but I get some of that cheese."

-----

Two hours later they were sitting in a circle on the floor with Porthos on Trip's lap. He was flanked on either side by Malcolm and Travis with Hoshi across from him. The linguist was leaning lightly against the tactical officer as they shared their stories.

"I'm surprised he trusted you to ever pilot a shuttlepod," said Travis. He was laughing at Trip's description about scraping the hull of Enterprise during a pre-launch inspection. They had been sharing various stories for some time and the bottle of Andorian ale was almost gone.

"Oh, he was a forgiving sort of man," said Trip. He hadn't realized how much he needed this catharsis. He should have done the same for his grief over Lizzie, but he had stubbornly refused the help of his friends. This time it would be different. "He made you always want to do your best for him."

"Hear, hear," said Malcolm as he raised his glass in a toast. The glasses met as the officers toasted their Captain.

"When I first came aboard, I was sick with a virus. I knew he thought highly of my skills, but I still wanted to impress him, so I didn't complain." Hoshi pressed her lips together.

Malcolm was taking a drink of ale when he almost spewed it out. Hoshi patted his back until he could find his voice. "It was YOU! You gave me that head cold!" He narrowed his eyes and accused, "When we were on the Klingon ship, remember?"

Hoshi fluttered her eyelashes, having come to the same conclusion shortly after that mission. "I wasn't the one who insisted on that rigid weapons training schedule."

Malcolm frowned. Right, the virus could have been passed through their mutual contact with the phase pistols. He had always assigned Hoshi unit 7 and only the two of them touched it. He smirked, "At least I didn't have to smell that awful stench on the Klingon ship, so thank you, Ensign."

Hoshi scrunched her nose at him as she remembered the ship, but in decon, she had not been worried about getting the virus from Malcolm. "It was great to hear the Captain's voice when he came to rescue us."

Another round of glasses clinked and another tidbit of cheese was offered to the beagle. The dog nibbled it, then rolled onto his back to receive a tummy rub.

"He always tried to watch out for us. In that Tandaran prison, I thought he would be disappointed and think I was weak when I got beaten, but the Captain did what he could to see to my injuries and kept my spirits up." Travis seemed lost in the moment.

"He never blamed me for losing the communicator that time. He even tried to save me from the noose they intended to use on us," said Malcolm. He shook his head, "I hope I never see those aliens again. It was too much like being captured by Nazis."

"Oh, I doubt we'll have to face alien Nazis again," assured Trip as he gave Porthos another nibble of cheese before taking one for himself.

Hoshi began giggling as she freshened her glass of Andorian ale with the last of the bottle.

"What? Come on, out with it," said Travis.

"Do you remember that fiasco where Porthos was in sickbay and the Captain had to--." Her sentence was never completed as she began laughing.

"The ritual!" yelled Trip, leaning over backwards as he started to laugh and upsetting Porthos.

Porthos abandoned Trip for Travis' more stable demeanor. The helmsman stroked the beagle's back when he put his head on his lap.

"You mean when Porthos pissed on that sacred tree or whatever?" asked Malcolm. He was grinning wildly at the image.

Hoshi had recovered, so she put her hand on Malcolm's knee and leaned in to say, "Jonathan Archer with dreadlocks, no shirt, and a chainsaw! He had to cut down the tree."

Malcolm and Travis joined Trip and Hoshi in their final outburst of laughter. Porthos stood up and shook his whole body, finally getting everyone's attention when he yawned widely and loudly.

"I think I need to get Porthos back to sickbay," said Trip as the sound of laughter died away.

Trip managed to sweep Porthos into his arms as he stood. Travis immediately rose as well to follow him out. They waved absently at Hoshi and Malcolm who were now also standing, but then as they reached the door, Trip turned and took a good look at the friends that were gathered around him.

"You know, Jonathan Archer could not have been prouder of the crew of the starship Enterprise. He told us before that he wanted us to get back to the mission of being explorers when all of this was over. To honor his memory, I intend to do just that."

The officers couldn't speak, but Travis and Malcolm each patted his shoulder while Hoshi tiptoed to give Trip a kiss on his cheek.

As she stepped back, Hoshi looked at the men around her and said, "Shinwa, fellowship. It was the gift Jon Archer gave us all."

The officers could only nod, but all understood the depth of her meaning. Hoshi and Malcolm watched the two men stroll down the corridor for a moment as they left with Porthos.

"Hey, Porthos, think we oughtta visit T'Pol?" asked Trip of the beagle as he walked away. The dog wagged his tail in approval.

"I think that's a yes, Trip. I'll see you later."

The voices of the men trailed off.

-----

"Here, I'll help you clean up," said Malcolm as he began to make himself useful.

Hoshi reached out to capture his hand as he leaned to retrieve a glass and said, "It can wait. I'm tired now."

Malcolm remained silent as she led him to her bunk. Her eyes conveyed her need for comfort and he would not take advantage of her grief or her recovery. He let her slide into his arms and put her head on his chest.

"I'm going back on duty as soon as our ride with the Aquatics is over," she said.

"Hoshi, do you think that's a smart idea?" Malcolm tightened his embrace.

"I can't stay in here doing nothing. I finally understand how you can be so obstinate with Phlox about getting back to work."

Hoshi rubbed her cheek against his chest and sighed. It was so good to feel their connection again. She could trust him to hold her. She closed her eyes for a moment. Could she trust him to love her? Then she began chuckling softly.

"What's so funny now?" asked Malcolm with a light tone.

"The pearl I gave you. It was on Valentine's Day." Hoshi propped herself on an elbow and smiled. "It's Japanese tradition that if a girl gives a boy a present on Valentine's Day, he has to take her out."

"Tradition, eh?" asked Malcolm with a grin. "Well, we can't go against such a time honored institution as Valentine's Day. I'll take you anywhere you want to go once we get home."

"You'll be forced to eat soba noodles," warned Hoshi.

"I think I'm beginning to develop a taste for them," said Malcolm. He looked at her warm brown eyes and then added, "And maybe we can find a jeweler to have your grandmother's pearls restrung."

Hoshi's eyes opened wide in surprise. Malcolm realized what he had implied and became flustered. He said quickly, "After some time, I mean. That is, it would be entirely your decision."

Hoshi's smile lit up her face. She leaned forward and kissed Malcolm softly on the lips. "Yes, I'd like that, too."

And as she drifted off to sleep, she was comforted by another thought. Hoshi Sato intended to teach Malcolm Reed the meaning of ai shite'ru.



Author Notes:
I deliberately excluded T'Pol from the wake as I wanted to focus on the humans dealing with the loss of the Captain. As a revision from the original manuscript posted at Linguistics Database, I added the line about Trip going to see her afterwards.

No reviews are necessary. Thanks for taking the time to read the stories and letting me share what I see between the lines.