Disclaimer: I'm just borrowing a few of JK's characters for my wee fable. Actually that doesn't disclaim a lot because JK are my initials too but no-one ever thinks of that…I'm so unloved...*sob sob*…
A little pre-note from me: Wow! 49 reviews and counting! I've changed my mind – I'm feeling loved again! I had a very nice holiday thank you to everyone who asked (in life or reviews), and my little book of story ideas is considerably more packed now – the plot-mice were at work! This is the longest chapter I've ever written – 9 ¼ A4 pages excluding disclaimer and pre-note! That's even longer than any of my 1 chapter stories! Cool :) or not, whatever! Sorry for it being so long – depending on who you are it can be a good thing or not, personally I prefer longer chapters but you know, quality not quantity and all that. But this is the one I've been working up to since I started this story, so I'm kind of glad I've finally got it down on paper (theoretically speaking). I've no idea how long this will be but we've got a while to go yet, my friends! (What was that?!) And, I've already got a sequel planned! God, I really need to get a better life…
This chapter has so many mixed emotions and genres even I'm confused. I would say I'm 'emotionally drained' but that might be taking things too far – but I'm tired and kind of sad after writing it so it'll have to do! I know it gets cheesy and maybe even (heaven forbids!) fluffy at times and kind of weird, but please keep reading and tell me what you think! I promise I'll try to ease off on the fluffiness! Anyways, thanks to all my reviewers and please keep doing them! It cheers me up!
Feelings
Draco slicked back his freshly gelled hair again. His hands were sweating, he was so nervous. The last time he had stood here, outside the Gryffindor common room, Hermione had mercilessly rejected him. Hopefully, she wouldn't this time. God, maybe I should just go back he thought.
He considered doing this briefly, but just as he decided to leave the portrait door swung open. A figure stumbled out, their face hidden behind a large pile of books. This is it, I guess.
"I was wondering when you'd come out." He started, trying to sound calm and collected. He didn't feel that way though - inside his stomach was doing back flips.
The figure fumbled with the large pile of books. Draco saw his chance and stepped forward.
"Here, let me help you with those." He said.
"Piss off." She murmured, the sound muffled by the books. Yep, definitely Hermione.
"Oh come on, I'm offering to help you here." He paused. "You know that I like you, I think I've made that clear."
The figure clicked her tongue, and probably would have walked off if she still wasn't struggling with the books.
"Can we go somewhere to talk?" he asked, trying his best to sound seductive. It probably hadn't worked, but it was worth a try. At that moment he took the books off her, but she immediately grabbed them back, tucking them under her arm.
"As if I'd go anywhere with you, Malfoy!" Draco gasped as her face was finally made visible.
It wasn't Hermione at all.
"Piss off and go play with one of your Slytherin bitches. Just don't mess with Parvati Patil again, or you'll be sorry!"
She cast him a scathing look as she walked off, murmuring under her breath about him. Draco honestly thought he couldn't breathe. How did that just happen? He should have realised. And it would have been Parvati – the girl renowned for being chief gossiper of Hogwarts. If he'd have just slipped Hermione's name in…oh God, it wouldn't bare thinking about.
Not that he was ashamed of Hermione, hell no. Well, not exactly ashamed, but it would certainly have a dent in his reputation. For a start, she had knocked him back. Plus she was a Gryffindor, a muggle-born, a know-it-all, Harry's friend…
Draco's thoughts were fortunately interrupted that moment when the portrait door swung open again. He carefully checked who it was before professing his undying love to them. And he was glad he did, as Dennis Creevy walked out, looking at him disdainfully. Draco looked at the mini-Colin's retreating back until it was out of sight. Where did that kid get off looking at a Malfoy like that?
"You." Said a shocked voice from behind him. Draco turned around promptly, slightly stumbling over himself. He heard the portrait door swing shut as he found himself staring into the eyes of one Hermione Granger.
"I love you." He heard a voice say. He prayed to God it had been her, but from the contemptuous look she was giving him, he presumed it had been him. His fingers went to his lips automatically, though he held eye contact with her steadily. Damn it, what the hell happened to calm and collected?
"So you keep telling me." She said, crossing her arms whilst rolling her eyes.
"It's true." He breathed. "I think."
She glared at him.
"You think? What the hell? You either are or you're not – no maybe about it." She said through clenched teeth. She breathed heavily.
"If you don't know now, you obviously aren't."
"But I am." He whispered. She gave him another reproachful look.
"You can't be. It doesn't work that way." She looked away.
"Well, what way does it work then, smartass?"
She didn't answer.
"If I don't know, how come I'm still here even though you look like you could kill me?" Hey, good comeback, Malfoy he congratulated himself.
She looked at him, searching his eyes. She shook her head.
"You can't be." She whispered decidedly.
"Why not?" he said, matching her tone.
"Because…because you can't. End of story. I don't have to answer to you." She paused before evidently deciding she would answer to him.
"You're a Malfoy and I'm a Granger – the type you call Mudblood." Draco flinched at the memory of the first time he'd called her the offensive term. She said the word like dirt, which it was.
She wasn't a Mudblood.
Technically, she is said the younger, inner voice. Oh great, I was wondering when you were going to make a re-appearance he thought. But no, a Mudblood was dirt, useless, filth. She was none of those.
"I'm sorry." He breathed. He knew that little word didn't begin to cover his behaviour, but what else could he do?
Hermione shook her head and began to walk away.
"No!" he called after her, grabbing her and blocking her way.
"Let me go!" she muttered, looking into his eyes again.
"You said that I either loved you or I didn't. Now I know. I do. I know I do." She shook her head slowly. "Now it's your turn."
She stared at him in silence.
"What?"
"Do you love me?" he asked, swallowing as he waited for her answer.
"I told you before."
"I didn't believe you." She looked away.
"No."
"Did you dump Neville?" he asked, trying a different approach. She looked back at him.
"What has that got to -"
"Just answer me. Did you dump Neville?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"It's none of your -"
"Why did you dump him, Hermione?"
"I don't know."
"Yes you do." She was silent.
"I don't." A small whisper escaped her lips.
"Do you have feelings for me?" she stayed silent, looking in his eyes.
"Is that why you finished with Neville?"
"It was a mutual agreement." Another whisper.
"Bullshit. Is that why you finished with Neville?" His voice was firm and demanding. She was quiet for a few more seconds, suddenly avoiding his gaze.
"Maybe."
"Do you have feelings for me?" he tried again, seeing he was finally getting somewhere. He just prayed that that somewhere was where he wanted to go, and not on the rejection pile. Again.
"I don't know." she shrugged, answering him quietly.
"You either do or you don't." he repeated her earlier words.
She put her head down and looked at the floor. A small whisper in a nervous voice escaped from her slumped form.
"No."
Draco firmly took hold of her chin and pulled her to face him.
"I still don't believe you. Hermione Granger, do you have feelings for me?"
*~*~*~*~*
Hermione breathed in sharply as Draco Malfoy took hold of her chin to pull her round to face him.
"I still don't believe you." He said in a low voice. "Hermione Granger, do you have feelings for me?"
Hermione looked at him. Why lie? It hadn't helped her up to now. Granted, she hadn't known her true feelings up until a few seconds beforehand. But could Draco really change? It was so clichéd. How could she have any feelings for the boy whom for so long was the subject of her hatred? Did she actually have feelings or was she just 'caught up in the moment', so to speak? How the hell could she recognise 'feelings'? But then again, as they had both said, she either did or she didn't…
"Yes."
She felt a small tear run down her face, something that she wasn't prone to feeling. She watched as Draco's features melted into a smile, and a tear trickled too down his cheek – something very rare. He brought his finger to her cheek and brushed the tear away. She looked into his eyes. His were full of happiness, but she … she didn't know. What happened now? Where did they go from here?
*~*~*~*~*
She said yes. The same three words kept running through Draco Malfoy's mind. She said yes. She said yes. She said yes. He smiled happily, and brushed a tear from her delicate and quivering face. He felt a lone tear stream down his own face, but chose to ignore it. What reason did he have to cry? After all, Hermione Granger had admitted she had feelings for him. She said yes. She said yes.
He tucked a stray hair behind her ear and smiled at her. He couldn't trust himself to talk and ruin the moment, so he chose to whisper quietly, if only to himself.
"I hoped so." He pulled her into a tight embrace, and to his surprise, she hugged him back. They stayed like that for several seconds, happy in the knowledge that he finally had her. He pulled away at last and looked into her eyes. It seemed like the most natural thing to do, yet bizarre at the same time. Hardly believing what he was doing, Draco leant forward and placed his lips on hers.
*~*~*~*~*
Hermione was slightly shocked at Draco's sudden action. To be honest, she had been so overwhelmed at what they had just said that she hadn't been expecting a kiss. However, she didn't pull back. She felt safe with Draco, as cheesy as it sounded. It felt right. But it's not. A small voice inside her said. It's not right, and you know it. She tried to push the voice aside. It was right, it had to be. How could it not be? She was with Draco, and was in no doubt of her feelings anymore. It felt right, so it had to be right. But it's not. You're with Malfoy. You're supposed to hate Malfoy. What would Ron and Harry say? Malfoy would never love you.
Hermione pushed him away. What if the voice was right? Why would Malfoy love her? She heard his voice over the past years taunting her. Mudblood. Stupid, ugly mudblood.
"Hermione?" Draco's voice asked. It was full of concern. But for all Hermione knew, it was fake concern. Everything was fake.
"You don't love me!" she gasped.
"What? Hermione, what are you on about? Of course I do, and you said you loved me too! What's wrong?" he reached forward to hold her hand, but she pulled it away and moved away from him.
"No! Don't touch me! Even if you did love me, it's still wrong!"
Draco looked confused. "What? Why? Why is it wrong? Hermione, help me here!"
"We can't." she pleaded, back to whispering. Tears started to flow freely from her face. "Why can't you see that? We just can't."
"But…I love you." Draco didn't know what else to say.
"And I love you too." She said. Draco made a step forward, but she moved farther away from him again. "But we can't. We're completely different. We can't."
"Why can't we?" he pleaded. Hermione was thinking exactly the same thing. Why couldn't they? What was stopping them? Everything she thought. She shook her head in response to Draco.
"I won't believe you." He said decidedly. He had her for five minutes, there was no way in hell was she going to slip through his fingers this time.
"I don't care." She turned and walked away.
"No!" he yelled and grabbed her firmly.
"Let me go!" she screamed, pushing him away. They heard running feet coming there way.
"Just stay away from me, Malfoy." She said coldly.
Draco dropped her arm in shock of her sudden antagonistic attitude. She turned briskly and walked through the portrait hole, leaving Draco alone and confused.
*~*~*~*~*
"What happened?" yelled Ron as they rounded the corner.
"We heard scream-" he and Harry skidded to a halt at the sight that greeted them.
"Malfoy?" Harry asked incredulously.
"What the fuck are you doing here?"
"Nice to see you too, Potter." Draco drawled. He acknowledged Ron with a sneer. Not in the mood to get into any arguments, he got up and walked away.
"Yeah that's right…" Harry yelled after him.
"Walk away, why don't you!"
Draco didn't stop, he just kept walking.
"Spineless git." Remarked Ron.
"Whatever." He murmured, choking back tears.
Ron turned to face Harry.
"What the hell was that about?" he muttered.
"No idea." They rhymed off the password to a crying Fat Lady, although they never thought to ask why she was crying.
"She's not here." Harry confirmed as they scanned the common room.
"Damn it, I can't do that Potions essay without her!" Ron hissed.
"Hey Dean!" he yelled over to a tall boy playing exploding snap in the far corner. "Have you seen Hermione?"
"Yeah." Replied a disgruntled Dean. His snap cards had just exploded in his hands. "I think she just went upstairs."
"Thanks mate." Ron shouted over to his slightly charred friend. He and Harry bounded up the stairs to Hermione's dorm, Potion essays in hand.
Harry knocked briefly on the oak door then charged into the room, not waiting for Hermione's reply.
"Hermione, we can't fig-" both boys stopped their questioning at the sight of their distraught friend strewn over her bed.
*~*~*~*~*
Hermione heard a voice say something. She didn't understand what it was saying though, nothing was clear. She raised her head, unruly hair flowing over her tear-soaked face. Her eyes were blurry and her head and throat ached from her crying.
"Hermione! Are you ok?" a low and concerned voice asked, edging closer. She vaguely recognised the speaker to be Ron as he edged closer to her. She sat up and shuffled back on the bed to get away from him, hugging her knees. She didn't know why, she just couldn't be around him at the minute. She didn't want anyone near her. Not even…definitely not Draco.
Ron seemed shocked at her reluctance and turned around and said something. It was then she noticed he wasn't alone. Another, slightly smaller boy, precariously approached her shaking form.
"Herm-," he started, obviously not sure what to say. "Hermione," he sat down at the foot of the bed and Ron followed, regardless of her opposition.
"Hermione, what happened?" He blurted out, reaching for her hand. She pulled it away. Draco had tried to do that too…
The memory of Draco brought more tears to her eyes. Ron leapt to his feet, alarmed. Before he could say anything, Hermione let slip one, fatal word.
"Malfoy."
She looked up in time to see the boys' immediate reactions. Harry looked at her in shock, Ron clenched his fists.
"What about Malfoy?" he asked through clenched teeth.
Oh God, what did I do? Hermione thought. She started crying heavily again, hiding her face in her arms. She hadn't cried in several years – what the hell was happening?
"Ron…" she heard Harry say quietly. "Ron, the screaming…the corridor…the fat lady…Malfoy." She looked up at Harry. What did he mean? How did any of what he'd said make sense?
She stole a glance at Ron. It obviously made sense to him. He was livid. His face turned a deep purple…no wonder he didn't like maroon.
Both boys turned to face her. Harry chewed his lip and looked extremely pale, in deep contrast to Ron.
"Hermione, you know you can trust us, don't you?" Ron said, in an eerily calm voice. Hermione nodded slowly. "I'm going to ask you a question, and you have to be very honest."
Hermione looked from Ron to Harry. What kind of question?
"Did…did Malfoy hurt you?" he carried on, still clenching and unclenching his fists. Hermione looked at him in confusion. Hurt her?
"What I mean is…" Harry looked away as Ron continued.
"Hermione, did Draco…touch you?"
Hermione's head snapped up to look at her friends. How had they gotten onto this branch of conversation?
"You mean…" she whispered. Ron looked away, breathing heavily and wiping his eyes. He looked at Harry and nodded at him. Harry nodded back and looked at his best friend.
"Yes, Hermione. We mean…did he…rape you?"
Hermione didn't comprehend what she was doing. She needed out of this mess. She didn't understand. Harry and Ron were offering her an easy way out…but she couldn't do it.
She looked up into the worried eyes of her friends.
And nodded.