Having no academic ambitions or goals, me and the Weasley twins don't have
much to strive for during school.
Except for our exceptional talent for saucing things up for the students.
What we do isn't pointless by any means. It provides a comical outlet for
stressed-out students (Exams, exams!) and brings a bit of hilarity into the
otherwise serious environment of classes. We like to think of ourselves as
- comedic pioneers.
So one boring day while lounging around in the Common Room (who does
homework, anyways?), Fred, George and I created a short list of ways to
really piss Snape off. You see, we love Snape. With the help of the
Gryffindors, that list is now humongous. Our main goal is to accomplish
every single one there.
Why? Because our goal is to teach Snape the wonderful art of laughing at
oneself, and provide some sort of karma for all the students he's tortured.
I wanted to start out big, so I went with this one first: Give him a group hug. After consulting the Gryffindors, I got about 6 of them to help me with this. I must admit, I was very nervous. What if they bailed on me the last minute? I didn't want to hug an exceedingly mad Snape by myself, thanks. So, Potion Class began and he started yelling at some student (as usual) for passing a note in his class. ("Is this silly little note more important than your classwork? You will be staying for lunch to conduct a proper potion and set your priorities straight.") This was my opening, my oppurtunity. Fred grinned and George nodded at me. I stood up from my potions. Snape glanced at me. "Professor," I said innocently, "You seem very grumpy today." "Sit down right now, Orbita!" He said, his lip curling. Honestly, the man can't even say my name right. He says Or-BIT-ah, when it is really pronounced Or-BEE-tah. "I seem a little grumpy to you, do I? Try teaching a class full of twittering little children who won't listen to a word you are saying. 20 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled. "Professor, I think what you need is a....a big hug!" Everyone jumped out of their seats, as directed, and rushed over to Snape to give him a hug from behind his desk. I did, also. This was hilarious...this is the man that makes first years cry, the man that most students fear. As we hugged (rather, squeezed) him he had a look of deep terror on his face. I swear to holy God, if I knew he would be that upset I would have taken a picture. Probably scarred him for life. He let out a small choking noise and I let go and all the other students followed suit. The plan was to not laugh, to go directly back to our seats, but a few were trying to supress giggles. And we went back to our seats and started working, like nothing had happened. He was standing there, open-mouthed. A fit of mad rage came upon him. "IF EVER I AM TREATED IN THAT MATTER EVER AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT! HOW DARE YOU WASTE VALUABLE CLASS TIME FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS! 70 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!!" He bellowed. His face was all red and he was absolutely shaking with rage. Once we were out of his earshot, we laughed like maniacs in the halls. I think we scared poor Professor Flitwick and Prof. McGonagall deducted 10 points from Gryffindor for being so loud. It was well worth it! Personally, I think he liked his little hug. Probably the first time in his life anyone ever touched him. Poor greasy, ugly Snape.
I wanted to start out big, so I went with this one first: Give him a group hug. After consulting the Gryffindors, I got about 6 of them to help me with this. I must admit, I was very nervous. What if they bailed on me the last minute? I didn't want to hug an exceedingly mad Snape by myself, thanks. So, Potion Class began and he started yelling at some student (as usual) for passing a note in his class. ("Is this silly little note more important than your classwork? You will be staying for lunch to conduct a proper potion and set your priorities straight.") This was my opening, my oppurtunity. Fred grinned and George nodded at me. I stood up from my potions. Snape glanced at me. "Professor," I said innocently, "You seem very grumpy today." "Sit down right now, Orbita!" He said, his lip curling. Honestly, the man can't even say my name right. He says Or-BIT-ah, when it is really pronounced Or-BEE-tah. "I seem a little grumpy to you, do I? Try teaching a class full of twittering little children who won't listen to a word you are saying. 20 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled. "Professor, I think what you need is a....a big hug!" Everyone jumped out of their seats, as directed, and rushed over to Snape to give him a hug from behind his desk. I did, also. This was hilarious...this is the man that makes first years cry, the man that most students fear. As we hugged (rather, squeezed) him he had a look of deep terror on his face. I swear to holy God, if I knew he would be that upset I would have taken a picture. Probably scarred him for life. He let out a small choking noise and I let go and all the other students followed suit. The plan was to not laugh, to go directly back to our seats, but a few were trying to supress giggles. And we went back to our seats and started working, like nothing had happened. He was standing there, open-mouthed. A fit of mad rage came upon him. "IF EVER I AM TREATED IN THAT MATTER EVER AGAIN, I WILL MAKE SURE EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU WILL NEVER HEAR THE END OF IT! HOW DARE YOU WASTE VALUABLE CLASS TIME FOR SUCH FOOLISHNESS! 70 POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR!!!" He bellowed. His face was all red and he was absolutely shaking with rage. Once we were out of his earshot, we laughed like maniacs in the halls. I think we scared poor Professor Flitwick and Prof. McGonagall deducted 10 points from Gryffindor for being so loud. It was well worth it! Personally, I think he liked his little hug. Probably the first time in his life anyone ever touched him. Poor greasy, ugly Snape.