Tainted love
The next day, Draco found himself in Care of Magical Creatures class. He could hear people talking to him from all sides, and recognised the voices to be that of Pansy and her shrill shriek, Crabbe and his minimal grunt and Goyle and his low mumble. He wasn't listening to the words though. He was too busy looking at her. Hermione. She was still playing this 'rape' thing obviously. That twat Weasley had his arm wrapped protectively around her. That's my job Draco thought resentfully. He scowled, remembering what he had decided last night. She was nothing to him anymore. He wanted her and those idiots to burn in hell.
"Oh, erm…that 'der's gonna hur', tha' is, Neville." Hagrid's wise words of wisdom interrupted Draco's somewhat sinister thoughts. He glanced over to where the whimpering boy stood clutching his left arm, which Draco noticed was bleeding. He couldn't help but give a little smirk as he saw him scurrying away from the creature that had so willingly given him the wound - some sort of a buffalo and crocodile cross; nasty.
"Righ' folks, I'm just gonna take young Neville 'ere to ger cleaned up." The huge oaf spoke. He seemed a tad disturbed by Neville's screaming and kept sending the offending creature apologetic looks. "Jus'…jus' chat amongst yerselves fer a while." He ushered Neville off into his cabin.
The majority of the class simultaneously dropped onto nearby rocks and tree stumps and began to talk in either amused or tired tones. Draco didn't speak. He just looked. At them. Look at her he thought. Just look at the pompous bitch. She's just bloody accused me of fucking rape, got my face smashed in and not to mention torn out, ripped up and spat on my fucking heart before putting it back in. And she just carries on as normal, like the past few days didn't happen.
A loud crackling noise distracted him and he looked round to where the sound was coming from. He groaned – that bloody Patil girl had that music what's-it with her again. He felt like doing a frigging Expelliramus spell on it and personally ripping it to shreds. But he didn't. He had more important things to consider at the moment.
He looked back to Hermione and nearly gasped at what he saw. She was laughing; laughing as though she didn't have a care in the world. Then again, she probably didn't. Why should she care about him? She didn't care about him, and he had to realise that she never had. She'd just used him, used him so her and her sick friends could have a laugh.
'This state is elevating, as the hurt turns into hating, anticipating all the fucked up feelings again…'
She glanced over at him. For a minute, she looked shocked to see him. Well what was she expecting? He thought bitterly. That I'd miss classes to get over my 'broken heart'? She's even more stuck up than I thought. She opened her mouth as if she was about to say something to him, then thought against it and abruptly closed it. She sighed and Draco thought he saw the shine of a tear forming in her eyes. He wondered if there was anyway in which she felt sorry, remorseful even. He cocked his head and stared back into her eyes. She held the gaze, not blinking or moving. Draco saw a dark shadow fall across her impassive face, and realised quick enough it was Potter. Bloody Potter -always sticking his nose in where he wasn't wanted. He whispered something to Hermione and she smiled and nodded her head. She turned around back again, swinging her hair over her shoulder. 'My hurt inside is fading, this shit's gone way too far, all this time I've been waiting…You've taken everything and oh I cannot give anymore...'
And it was gone. That fleeting glimpse of regret, of sympathy. Maybe even of love. In an instant it was gone. With a flick of her hair she had turned her back on him again. 'Can I throw it all away? Take back what's mine…each cut closer to the vein…'
Well it was the last time. It was the last time she would flick her hair and turn her back on him. She wouldn't cut him off anymore. He realised what those muggles on Patil's music box were saying was true; he had given everything and she had taken it, but never returned it. And most of all, this shit had gone way too far, and she was going to pay.
*~*~*~*~*
Hermione listened as Harry and Ron talked to her aimlessly. She knew why; they were trying to keep her mind off things. Things like Draco. Things like her 'rape'. She felt awful. Awful for lying to her friends when all they ever wanted was to protect her. And for accusing Draco, when all he ever did was love her. And all she ever did was love him back.
But somehow she had managed to mess things up. She had pulled another Hermione stunt and made things a hundred times more complicated than they were. Nothing needed to be complicated. She had given up Draco, for whom she had acquired feelings for out of thin air, because she was worried what her friends would say. She had been a coward. And by conjuring up this rape story, she was even more a coward. What was it they had called her at muggle primary school? 'Cowardly custard'; that was it. She had never understood how custard could be cowardly, but it didn't matter. She was a coward, and always had been. And always would be.
She looked up, only to see Draco standing and looking at her about 5 foot away. He had his entourage also; Pansy and the goons. But he, too, wasn't paying attention. He was looking at her. And she was looking at him. For a moment she wanted nothing more than to go to him and apologise for everything. She remembered their kiss with accuracy, how heartfelt it had been. So loving. She felt her eyes glaze over with the formation of tears.
But that moment ended far too soon altogether as Harry's voice interrupted her thoughts, thus ending her connection with Draco. She smiled gently at her friend before turning away.
By flicking her hair over her shoulder, she managed to steal a quick glance at Draco again. Any emotion that had been displayed in his eyes had quickly disappeared, only to be replaced immediately by anger. Well what did I expect? She thought miserably. Did I honestly think he would forgive me? After what I've done, I don't expect anyone to forgive me.
Yes, she felt awful, but that was nothing to the shame she felt.
*~*~*~*~*
"Ron! I'll be fine!" Draco Malfoy stopped before he rounded the corner. He recognised Hermione's pleading voice automatically. He heard an indistinguishable reply from Weasley.
"Ron, it's not late! It's only nine o'clock in the evening for heavens sake!" Draco checked his watch, and fair enough it was indeed nine pm. He hadn't realised he had been walking for so long.
"I'm only going for a walk!" she sighed. More indistinguishable sounds from Ron followed. "No, I want to go on my own." She replied.
"Ok, ok! I'll be back by ten at the latest – I promise." She said. Draco leant against the wall and furrowed his brow, concentrating on the conversation.
"I know you are." She said quietly. "But Ron, please, I just want to be on my own for a while. To think…"she trailed off. Draco rolled his eyes – she really was playing out this rape story for all it was worth.
"Bye, Ron." Draco straightened up as he heard her approaching footsteps and stepped back into the shadows. He watched her walk a few steps before checking round the corner to make sure Ron had left. A small smile tugged at his lips. Payback time.
*~*~*~*~*
"Well look who it is." Hermione stopped in her tracks. She knew that voice anywhere. She spun round to find Draco Malfoy standing close to her. She looked around quickly for someone. No one was in sight.
"D-Draco…" she stammered. "What are you doing here?"
"What am I doing here?" he whispered. "What are you doing here? I wouldn't have thought it was safe for the victim of a recent rape attack to be wandering around dark, empty corridors late at night." With each word he inched forward, making Hermione move backwards until she was pressed up against the wall, Draco only a mere foot in front of her.
"Draco, I'm so sorry, I never meant -"
"I'd imagine it would be especially dangerous when the attacker…"he paused and smirked at Hermione. "…was still at loose."
"Draco…what are you doing?" she asked, her eyes widening.
"Tell me, Hermione." He said casually. "You're a mudblood. Surely you know the story of the Boy who cried Wolf?"
Hermione swallowed. Oh God she thought. What's he going to do to me? Why the hell did I ever say that stuff?
"Yes." She choked out. "Yes, I know the story."
"Well then," he smiled. "Think of me as the wolf."
*~*~*~*~*
"Draco, please! Don't do this…" Hermione pleaded. Draco looked in her eyes. She was scared. He put his arms round her waist and filled the gap between them.
"Why not?" he spat. "You were quite happy to make up these games, but when they come true you want to stop playing. That's not very fair, Hermione." Silent tears started to roll down her cheeks.
"Please, no. Please… please…" she shook her head and looked despairingly into his eyes.
"Hermione, you hurt me. You used me. Did you think I wouldn't care?" he cursed himself as he heard his voice choke. Oh God, now was definitely not the time for an emotional breakdown.
"No! It wasn't that! I…I was scared. I didn't know what to do…" she cried.
"Hermione, people get asked out everyday in this world. How many of them do you reckon cry rape?" he reasoned.
"Well, I don't know!" she spat back, startling Draco. "Depends how many of them get asked out by you!"
Draco felt his face harden. He certainly hadn't been expecting that.
'The love we share seems to go nowhere…'
Hermione looked up, smiling. Music. That could only mean one thing.
"Parvati." She told Draco. "Looks like your master plan has been foiled."
He scowled. "You reckon?" he took out his wand and pointed it in the general direction of Parvati. "Admonitio."
There was a slight bang which what they assumed was Parvati dropping the radio. "Crap!" she yelled. "My detention!" They heard running feet which gradually disappeared as Parvati left for her 'detention'. The music blared on.
Draco smirked. "Handy little spell."
Hermione looked baffled. "How did y-"
"You pick up a few things when you're as evil as me." He retorted.
"She left her radio." She pointed out. Draco shrugged.
"Background music."
"She'll be back for it."
"Wanna bet?" Hermione swallowed and looked away.
"Why are you doing this?" she whispered.
"Doing what?" he asked innocently. She looked up hopefully at him.
"I haven't started yet…" she bit her lip and looked down the hall. She knew no one else would come. She knew she didn't have a chance. He pressed onto her and started to kiss her roughly. Silent tears ran down her face.
'This tainted love you've given, I give you all a boy could give you, take my tears and that's not nearly all…"
Draco grabbed her arms tightly as he moved down to her neck and held her against the wall. She winced as he squeezed the bruises she had given herself earlier that day. She had used a broomstick she had found in her dorm to hit herself around the arm and shoulder area for a few minutes. She had stopped when it suddenly hit her how sadistic this whole charade was. She'd ended up collapsing on the floor and crying for half an hour, something she had become all too familiar with recently.
Draco looked at her strangely as pain flashed across her face. His gaze shifted to where he was holding her and he slowly let go. He rolled up the loose sleeves of her robes and stopped when he saw the deep purple and blue bruises. Suppressing a gasp, he looked up at her.
"How did that happen?" he asked quietly.
"I-I had…it was…so they would…"she trailed off, not knowing what to say.
"You mean you did this? Deliberately?" he asked, shocked.
"I had to." She whispered, looking at the ground.
"Let me guess," he sighed, outlining the bruises gently with his finger. "For your 'rape'." She nodded.
"Looks like I needn't have bothered though."
His head snapped up to look at her. "What do you mean?"
She gestured towards him with her head. "Looks like you're going to do the honours."
Draco just looked at her in amazement. I should he thought I should teach her a lesson once and for all. He looked back down to the bruising.
"You're one sick bitch, you know that?" he murmured.
"Look who's talking."
"Me?" he exclaimed.
"Yes, you." She spat. "You're going to fucking rape me apparently, so why the hell don't you just get it over and done with?"
"Well, I wouldn't have had to rape you if you hadn't made up that fantasy of yours!"
"Fantasy? You think I fantasise about you?"
Draco's eyes narrowed and he dropped the fabric of her robes. He didn't realise he had been holding them too tightly until he heard the loud split in the material. Neither of them bothered to look at the rip.
'You don't really want anymore from me…'
"Give me one good reason, Granger. One good reason and I'll walk away and leave you forever."
Hermione rolled her eyes and bit her tongue as she felt new tears scratching at her eyes. She felt Draco's hands snake their way around her waist again. His grip tightened and she found herself looking directly into his blue grey eyes. Their noses were almost touching and she could feel his breath on her.
"You said you loved me." She whispered.
"You said you loved me too."
"I never said I didn't."
Draco's eyes widened as Hermione's arms found their way around his neck.
'Don't touch me please, I cannot stand the way you tease, I love you though you hurt me so, now I'm going to pack my things and go…'
"Bitch!" Draco yelled, jumping out of her way and pushing her into the wall. "You're an A class bitch, Granger! I'm fucking sick of your games! You're a sick, twisted, manipulative, evil little mudblood bitch!"
"Excuse me?" she shrieked. "What the hell did you call me?"
"You know, I wouldn't be surprised if this was all just one of your sick experiments." He yelled, ignoring her. "What did you do, Hermione? Cast a love spell and couldn't suffer the consequences? Is that it? Tell me, are Weasel and Scar-face in on it too? Or maybe it's the entire fucking Weasley family? Did you have a good laugh? Did you sit with all the Gryffindors and have a good old laugh about the Malfoy stupid enough to fall for your twisted joke? Is that it?"
"No!" she cried. "No! It wasn't like that at all!"
"Forget it, bitch." He spat, backing away from her. "I can't believe how foolish I was to ever think I could have loved you."
Draco stormed off without a second glance at her, while Hermione fell to the floor in a tearful crumpled heap, as she watched the one person she'd ever have a chance of loving walk out of her life for good.
'Touch me baby, tainted love…"
A little note from me: a-hem…well? What did you think? I wrote this chapter a few times because I wasn't sure how to work round it and whether or not Draco would go through with it – I honestly hadn't anticipated the argument or Hermione saying she loved him, it just kind of happened. And I think this way is kind of credible because both characters are so stubborn. I was going to split this in half and finish this chapter just after Draco overheard Ron and Hermione, but then the chapter would be pretty uneventful and you guys deserved more!
LostAngel: Hmm I like your version better! Oops, I guess I kind of did exactly what you didn't want then…hehe, sorry! Although I like the idea of Parvati brain damaging someone…lol – watch this space!
Christine: yep I know, I hadn't actually set out for her to be a cow – I guess my sub-conscious really hates her! Rape is really serious and I wasn't sure whether or not to go ahead with this storyline as I didn't know if I could do it well. As far as the actual story goes, Hermione's scared of being hurt and how her friends will react. Basically she doesn't want to be vulnerable and Ron and Harry offered an easy way out although she was ashamed to take it. Lol, eat your heart out Freud! …Yeah, ok, maybe not then…
C: lol everyone thinks Hermione's a bitch now! And it wasn't even intentional…ah well! I like your idea though, I might work it in…I'm using lots of dots today…hehe…ok I'll stop now…
Femme Fatale: here it is! Aw thank you!
DiOsA4u*: sorry, no fluff in this chapter either! Just keep reading the middle part of chapter 10 over and over! Lol. Yeah but suspense is so much fun to write!! Well, now you know – what did you think? ::Gasps:: I have a fan?! ::Gasps again:: and you're going mental?! A mental fan?! (sniff sniff) Thank you so much!
Thank you all my fans (Ooh I like that word, DiOsA4u*!!). Hmm on second thought, I'll keep to reviewers – my ego might explode if I convince myself I have fans! Please tell me what you thought of this chapter via review or e-mail or both!!! I'm going back to school in a few days (damn it!) but I'll still be updating, just might not be as quickly. But you never know, I could update quicker! But I'm not giving up on this story!
DISCLAIMER: All Harry Potter lark belongs to JKR, the song "Here to stay" is by Korn and "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell and more recently Marilyn Manson. I don't own any of it. So there.
By the way, "Admonitio" means "Reminder". Woohoo for me! Summer holidays and I'm getting out Latin books! As always, leave your e-mail address and I will send you an e-mail when I post a chapter. Please drop a review – it takes 3 seconds and makes me happy for days! Please! Any suggestions or questions are welcomed.
mystical xx