(This chapter is pretty long and way too dramatic. Sorry about that! But it generally conveyed the part of the story it should have, so I'm happy. Sorry again for it being overly dramatic!! Enjoy, Nova x)
"Why would my brother go and see her?"
"Who?"
Shep twisted around to face him on his chair. "My brother. See Deuce."
"Shep. Your not still talking about that, are you?" Isis rolled his eyes. "There are a million possible explanations. He was probably coming to see if she was ok. You have 'disappeared' you know."
This immense, untouchable feeling of being watched over. It was almost like he was with her sometimes. As if she could feel his presence in her house. God, she missed him so much sometimes. The only way to try and forget about that icy burning pain in her heart was to keep busy.
She placed the sandwich in her mouth, balanced her bag strap on her shoulder and grabbed her cup of coffee, pushing the fridge door closed with her hip and heading through the landing into the study. She hurried quickly, feeling the pressure of the laptop's weight in her bag pressing down on her shoulder. Just as she set her bag down on top of her desk, there was a knock on the door.
She set down her snack and headed back down the landing to the door, opening it. She was shocked at the face she saw there.
"Austaires? ..." Out of all the people to come to her door, he was the one she least expected.
"Hi, Deuce. I came to see... you know. How you're doing and stuff."
She nodded, and when he didn't speak again she smiled and opened the door properly, inviting him in.
"I guess I haven't really thought too much about... you know, well... you really. His family. Since..." she didn't need to finish that sentence.
"Yeah. Same... then I realised; you were closest to him out of all of us. You have a huge responsibility on your shoulders, being the last person to see him." Austaires made his way into her kitchen and hopped up onto one of the kitchen stools.
Deuce frowned slightly, not liking his tone of conversation. She set her coffee mug down on the work surface.
"Would you like something to eat? I just made a snack."
"No, no. I wont be here long. I just... you know. Came to see you. For a chat."
"Right... Look I would love for you to stay but it's gonna have to be short. I have a work deadline that I have to meet." She relaxed when he nodded slightly, suddenly looking sad.
"I miss him, you know? It's... weird..." Austaires looked up at her.
"It's not weird. I miss him too. Everyone does." She started to feel a knot forming in her heart again so she began to tidy around her in the kitchen.
"That's not what I mean." Austaires looked at his hand, sweeping an invisible pile of dust into a small heap.
Deuce sensed a warning vibe, so she didn't look up at him. Instead she neatened up a dozen jars lined up along her windowsill.
"How's your mum doing? I haven't heard from her in a while. I've been meaning to call her but-"
"Ysobel."
She swallowed dryly and turned around. "...Why is it weird?" She let herself ask him the question he wanted to be asked.
He sighed heavily, the same way Shep used to. But Shep only properly sighed when he was joking. Austaires was like the brother that you should never take seriously. The attention-seeker. His sigh was the only likeness she had seen in them. Both externally and internally, they were entirely different people with no similarities. Nothing to share.
Not even brothers.
"It's weird that I miss him. It's not weird that I miss him because he is my brother. It's not even weird that I miss him because I love him. And do you know why that is, Ysobel?"
Deuce slumped her shoulders and stared at the ground. No.
"No."
"Because I didn't love him. It's weird that I miss him, because I wanted him dead."
She felt her insides burn. "Liar! You loved him! He's your brother." She still didn't dare look at him, afraid of what she might do.
"He's only my step-brother." He took a sip of her cold coffee sitting on the work surface. "Do you know why I wanted him dead, Ysobel-Rae-Inez?"
Deuce hated the way this conversation was going. She hated how he was the only person who called her by her full name in an attempt to make the atmosphere serious. She had two choices. To answer him, or to ignore him. She chose latter after deciding to put his behaviour down to temporary insanity.
"I'll tell you why I hated my brother. I hated him because he had you." He got up and tried to walk towards her, but she edged further away.
"Will you just... look at me?"
She felt guilty and sorry for him, so she stopped moving away and looked at him, afraid of what he might say.
"I love you, Ysobel-Rae –"
"Deuce." She felt sick saying her own name, because Shep had given it to her.
"I love you." She felt even sicker when he started to lean forward to kiss her.
"Stop it!" she pushed him away, suddenly sorry for him again at the look of shock on his face.
"You don't love me. You think you do, but you don't. I love Shep."
"Shep's dead! Although you obviously don't care about him because you never even turned up to his funeral."
Her eyes narrowed and her heart burned again at his words.
"He's not dead. I didn't go to your 'funeral' for him because he hasn't died!" she walked over to her door and opened it. "I want you to leave now, Austaires."
He stooped as he walked out, knowing defeat. But just as he walked through to door, he turned to her one last time.
"Your going to have to get over the fact that he's gone, Ysobel, and he's not coming back."