A/N: NOTE: This chapter contains spoilers for vol.12! Hmm…. To give this chapter a bit of a twist, I'll do this chapter in Seishirou's POV and also in Subaru's. Interesting….. Hm…… decisions, decisions…uh…(looks at clock). Okay, I should start on now before my muse goes to bed.^_^ ehehehe….please forgive me if I go OOC or get a little weird… it's 12:30 in the morning right now and I think I had a overdose of soda. *hic* Also, this chapter has maybe hints of Kamui/ Subaru but it's one-sided… I'm so sorry, but I'm a hardcore Subaru/ Seishirou fan….

Chappie 5 : Wishes of a Fallen Angel (part2)

I leaned lightly on the beam, silently watching the battle from far away, with nothing but the sound of occasional clicking from my lighter and the wind making noise around me. Perched on some beam of the Tokyo tower.* I smirked and closed my eyes… I could never understand, how Subaru managed to throw away his own well-being for the sake of others.

To me, everything in life was nothing but objects and toys. When you got tired of them, you disposed of it. Like how humans step on insects all day and never noticed; I could break a living human being, and it wouldn't matter to me. No regrets, no worry, no nagging in my consciousness…(not that I had one). I opened my eyes again.. And watched the battle at Ikebukuro from afar. Although Subaru had promised me that he would not act as a Dragon of Heaven, since he decided to, I decided sit back and watch. I would only step in if something drastic happened…

Subaru-kun had already managed to set up his kekkai around the shield. Time after time, I found it impressive, how something so strong could be broken so easily…. So easily. I saw him running circles around the Dark Kamui, beads of sweat beginning to form around his temple and eyes gritted in concentration. How cute. He occasionally placed ofuda here and there and I noticed that he was trying to place them in the shape of the pentagram.

The other Kamui, of the Dragons of Heaven only could look on as Subaru took on the Dark Kamui. I could tell, that he could read his every move. Tracing back over the Dark Kamui's actions, I found surprisingly that we were similar in many ways… predator and prey… the dominant, heartless bastards… and powerful…

I lit another cigarette as I had finished my last one. I looked at my hands, stained with blood from my latest victim about couple of minutes ago. It was just another silly boring human, who couldn't amuse me more than a few seconds.

I turned my head up just in time to see a large blast come from the building I was just observing. I sent my shinkigami there and I found Subaru-kun in quite and interesting predicament.. Somehow, he was seeing me in the Dark Kamui… There was a blast and a thick cloud of blue-gray smoke blew into the sky.

Apparently, somehow he had lost his concentration during the battle and his spell began falling apart. The Dark Kamui had walked out of the spell unscathed and without a scratch… I could hear every word going on in their conversation… and needless to say, I found it quite fascinating.

" Why… why do you look like… Seishirou-san? Why?"

The Dark Kamui lifted Subaru's head and pulled him up. Using one hand, he pulled it back and began to slowly extend it forward…

"Because… you wished it so, so it was meant to be. It was fate Subaru-kun. And you have yet to learn that it can't be changed."

There was a scream, no doubt the other Kamui and a soft groan. My beautiful Subaru-kun…had just been tainted. I thought for a moment and grinned, then remembering the Dark Kamui's words, I narrowed my eyes a bit.

" Subaru-kun, will you succeed this time? Or will everything fall like before? "

I raised an eyebrow in surprise at the comment… "because you wished it so…." that couldn't be true could it? I thought Subaru-kun wanted to kill me-no, I knew he wanted to kill me… so why had he lost his eyesight in that eye? His left one… the same as me. The other words that the Dark Kamui said were of no concern to me. They made no sense anyway, just strange cryptic clues that mattered little. So I stood there for another few minutes, watching the other Dragons of Heaven pick up their fallen comrades and bring them to safety, smoking a cigarette…

I grinned, turned around and took my sunglasses off and smiled at the visitor.

" You saw it all… our every move, didn't you?"

Closing my eyes, I replied," I figured you noticed me, watching at Ikebukuro."

He walked towards me, saying," I get the feeling you know that Dragon of Heaven well…"

" His wish… "

I smirked, quite confident I knew what he was going to say. I had always been right before about me Subaru-kun… and that wasn't going to change anytime soon. I eyed the Dark Kamui as he suddenly reached out and grabbed my cigarette.

" You… don't have any idea what is going on. Nor do you know that Dragon of Heaven's wish. This is something… much deeper that you think it is. His wish isn't what you're thinking it is."

He grinned at me once more before jumping off our perch and disappearing into the buildings below. Momentarily, I could feel my mouth hanging slightly open from the new information that was just given to me. It couldn't be true could it? The fact that Subaru DIDN'T want to kill me? The idea was just absurd. I wouldn't accept that answer. I would simply have to get it from Subaru-kun himself.

The rain hasn't stopped yet. I watched it poring down over the city of Tokyo. 'How beautiful… It would be even more beautiful after it was broken. I lit another cigarette, and then jumped off the tower. I needed to go somewhere., mainly… the Clamp Campus Hospital.

-------------------------------Subaru's POV-----------------------------------

Somehow… was the pain I was feeling supposed to hurt? My eye, I was told would never be able to see again. Wryly, I realized that it was the same eye that Seishirou had lost protecting me. Deep inside myself, I wanted to know the same pain he felt, to suffer as he did…

But this time around, there was no one to cry for me. No one to comfort me and tell me to wake up from this world… This was the harsh reality of it all. But still, even after losing my own eye, I still felt guilty. Then my mind turned back to all the people who had lost their lives at Ikebukuro. Because I was seeing mirages, illusions…. Hallucinations. Someone who was nothing but a memory of a person I once knew. Then he disappeared from my life… and now was back again.

Maybe.. I thought. If we could never be together… I wanted him to kill me. After all, my strange love( or was it obsession?) with him was one sided, unrequited love… he could just simply kill me, and end my misery. To finally drop my torn heart, torn between loving him and naively believing that he was a kind person; and hating him for what he had done and forced me through.

My thoughts however where interrupted as I felt something lightly fall on me. It was wet and cold… I realized they were tears. But who would cry for someone like me? Who had fallen so far down… but maybe, I did have a chance for redemption. To somehow find a way to make amends for not being able to rescue all the people who had died.

Slowly, I opened my eyes and saw that it was Kamui. The frail-looking boy was draped over my chest and sleeping. For a second, I wondered why he had stayed with me so long, by my side. I wasn't worth the effort. I groaned slightly and sat up and pondered over the Dark Kamui's words, careful not to wake the slumbering child on my lap.

It was true and pitiful as he was so young to be drawn into a conflict like this. The end of the world… I believed that humans had the right to another chance, even after everything they had done. The whole world wasn't separated into solely good and evil, but a strange mixture of both.

I wanted to badly to believe that people were in fact good. I wanted to believe that Seishirou was good. I couldn't anymore. I was too torn… With living a lie and in denial.

I looked up and was greeted by lavender eyes.

" Kamui? I'm sorry. Did I wake you?"

He shook his head and smiled sadly, then he slowly reached out and touched my eye… notably, the one that was covered and could no longer see with. I flinched at his touched and immediately regretted it at the sign of hurt in Kamui's eyes. I grinned and tried to sound reassuring and carefree.

" I'm okay! Don't worry about me! It's not your fault , so don't blame yourself. You couldn't do anything about because this was my wish. It was my choice to lose my eye."

" Is it because… of him? The Sakurazukamori. Just like how you smoke to beat him… you want to be like him too. Is that why?"

My eyes widened slightly. Had I subconsciously been acting like that the whole time? Wanting to be like Seishirou, so I could somehow see what he felt, how he felt, and why he felt emotionless. I didn't know though.

" I don't know… maybe it's like that. "


Kamui took my hand into his and held it to his soft face. The tears were running freely down his face now.

" I was there, unconscious. Every time someone needs my help, I end up being the one that needs to be saved. It's always my fault! You, and Kotori too… I couldn't save her."

I felt his grip on my hand tighten as he continued. The poor boy… he had too much pent up grief.

" She was killed right in front of me, And I just sat and stared, helpless to do anything. You lost you eye, and all I did was sleep there unconscious. I hate it! I hate being useless!"

I looked at the ceiling for a moment and then at Kamui's face, then replied with a sad smile,

" Nobody likes to be useless. But there are times when you cannot do anything but watch as a passer-by as life goes on without you. There are times when you just can't do anything. But what you can do… Is to strive for a better future. Although the past can't be changed, what you can change is the future, because only you can determine which path you will take. You can't let anyone else interfere not even fate. "

I let Kamui wipe his tears and he looked at me again, and let go of my hands. He stared out the window for a moment, and for a while, the only sound in the CLAMP hospital room was the soft SHHHhhh…. Of the rain. Kamui then turned and looked at me.

" Does that mean that I can believe what Kotori said? That the future is still undecided ? That I can find some way to bring Fuuma back?"

I tried to sound happy and look happy as much as I could and replied," Time will tell. Other than that, it's for you to decide. Please, don't blame yourself anymore. "

I took a quick sip of water from the table beside me. I was getting drowsy again, and apparently, he noticed. Kamui got up from the chair he was sitting on and blushed as he looked at his feet.

" Thank you.. Subaru. "

He started walking to the door,and put a hand on the handle, but then turned back an faced me.

" You know, Subaru, I'm really glad I met someone as kind as you…Can I visit again?"

"Sure." I watched him walk out, footsteps echoing through the halls. I listened to the rain for a while, and eventually fell in and out of sleep. I hoped everything would be okay…the his last words echoed in my head….

" I'm glad I met someone as kind as you…"

Guilty for losing my eye, wanting to do something to help. Strangely, this sounded exactly like me back then…. I was helpless to do anything about Hokuto, but the future… What exactly did that other Kamui mean? Those thoughts haunted my mind for a while until I sensed someone or something approaching.

Suddenly, the room turned dark for a second, then the door opened. I looked towards the door as it slowly opened… I had another visitor.

A/N: Whew! Hope there aren't too many errors in this chapter…. (It's about 5:20AM right now…. And the first half I did when it was around 12:00AM….-_-;;;;) Somehow, I hope I can be unpredictable and not make this ficcy too clichéd or anything. I like to keep everyone guessing. But we'll just have to see. Anyone want to guess who's the visitor? ^_^

By the way, since I don't update very fast, in my author's profile, I put up some kind of status thing so you can check on whether I will be posting anytime soon or not, (Or just use your review history….;_; ;;;;;;) Anyway, thanks to everyone who reviewed! I really appreciate it!( Uh…. I need to find something else to say….) Till the next chapter!

Ja ne!