Author's Note's:- Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.
You know it's times like these I really wish I'd done something else with my life. It's been a few hours since my team found out about the deception the Tollan and Asgard insisted I play alone.
I finished my report and couldn't be bothered going home so I'm sitting in the commissary at 3 am drinking coffee, which is like tar and trying to sort out my own head. Pretending to become him again- I just wanted to refuse the request. I left him behind on Ra's ship with that bomb all because of one shy stubborn as hell archaeologist. And now, Daniel barely even looked me in the eye as he let me have it with that straw jibe.
x
Sam and Teal'c they both understood, okay Sam is severely pissed at me and it'll probably take a few days, weeks? of apologies before she'll talk to me without that look of 'you bastard'.
Teal'c nodded in understanding when I apologised to him. Sam nodded as well but still looked annoyed as hell.
Daniel however gave me an angry look and left.
x
Dammit, why did I agree to do this? Oh yes, because I was given no choice.
I saw Daniel's look when I was leaving Earth supposedly for good. He didn't stand in the Gateroom with the others but behind the glass in the control room looking truly confused and troubled. I hurt him badly. Telling him that our friendship had no solid foundation was hard to say but it was worse to see the pain in his eyes. I know how much Daniel depends on our friendship and has since Sha're was taken from him, even more so since she died and because I was trying to keep him and the other two safe I cut it out from under him.
x
Daniel is without a doubt one of the most important people in my life. His refusal to let me kill myself for no reason on Abydos struck me and completely shattered the wall I'd built around my heart.
Of course I was lying when I said our friendship wasn't real, it's the realest thing in my life. Since I lost Charlie and Sara, SG1 has become my family. Teal'c, Sam and Daniel, three people who I would gladly give my life for. Unfortunately I have no idea how I'm going to fix things with Daniel.
When I asked Sam she told me one word, grovel.
I can do that. And I will until Daniel forgives me, no matter how long it takes cause I need him.
I need them all. And THAT Jack O'Neill, son of a bitch, hard-ass undercover operative is gone for good. I don't care what happens I'm never jeopardising the connection I have with those three ever again.