Author's Notes:-Thanks to Stonedtoad for betaing.

You've got to hand it to me; I really can say the dumbest things.

Once again Jack 'How far down my throat can my foot go?' O'Neill opens his big mouth.

It started off as a simple observation then it went somewhere else altogether. I suddenly realised what I was saying, who I was saying it to and more importantly who I was talking about.

I should have just shot myself then and there; it would have been less painful than having Daniel with a dead look flatly finish my sentence.

"Fathered the child."

x

Having the kid there was bad enough.

Daniel seems to have been doing okay recently. The first anniversary of her death, one of the hardest times there is, passed quietly with just us two at my house where we talked, where I listened to him and comforted him.

But the kid, HER kid being here just hit him like a ton of bricks.

I know spending time with Shifu made him strangely happy. This was Sha're's child after all and that small connection to her was something he hasn't had in a long time. But Shifu was also a harsh reminder of what that scum-sucking snakehead did to the woman he loved, the woman he still loves.

x

When Shifu had left I went looking for Daniel who had decided to pull one of his brilliant disappearing acts. He used to do it a lot in the early days but we learned his hiding places and didn't leave him alone for long. So Sam and I split up and went searching for him. I finally found him on top of the mountain looking at the stars. One of his favourite things to do is stargazing. It reminds him of happier times, when he was a child and when he was on Abydos.

When I found him I called Sam to tell her she could stop searching and I sat next to him in silence just waiting until he was ready to talk.

x

Finally he spoke. He told me what he dreamed.

It scared him.

Scared him a lot that this knowledge changed him so much. I know he feels he's lost a lot of who he is over the past few years and I've noticed it too.

But nobody could go through what he's been through and stay the same.

His openness towards people isn't the same. He still walks in and expects to make friends; he just doesn't mean it the same.

He's more wary and that makes me sad. That innocence and enthusiasm he once had is gone and nothing can bring it back. A big part of him died with Sha're and as much as I hoped time would heal that wound it hasn't. Finally I managed to persuade him to come back inside and I sent him to get some sleep as I went to do the same. Unfortunately I'm unable to comply with my own order as I think back to what he told me.

x

What sticks in my mind is the way he described what the dreams showed him to become,

a James Bond villain.

At least he laughed at my comment. That gave me a little hope he'll be okay.

Our Daniel Jackson, The Man With The Golden Gould.