Disclaimer: I actually own the plot on this one. Not the characters though. Got the idea by watching POTC too many times.
A/N: Slightly AU, but still humorous.
Barbossa's Bloody Apples
Barbossa sighed. Another day without his love. If only that Turner boy would comply. And Barbossa can once again be able to settle his thirst, his need, for his precious apples.
It all started one day when he was a little whelp, when Jack Sparrow was an annoying kohl-appling nobody. Barbossa was once again passed over for the Pirate crew. Jack, perfect Jack, was picked.
Pirates weren't supposed to cry. But Barbossa wasn't a pirate yet, so he had supposed that it was allowed. What other than a lonely apple came to comfort Barbossa in his hour of need?
It was love at first sight. Many a pretty lady would allow small Barbossa to watch them eat the heavenly fruit, apple scent wafting through the air. Barbossa's first time was with an apple. It was sweet and ready for him.
Jack Sparrow, the little fairy, had to find him.
"Barbossa, are you going to eat that apple?" Jack had asked him.
Barbossa looked longingly at his much-loved fruit and nodded a very sure yes. And so he took a bite.
Barbossa was hooked. No amount of cajoling could allow him to finish without a sweet apple. Apples were his life, and they were his friends.
So that curse, that wretched, wretched curse tore him away from his only love.
That poppet, Elizabeth, had almost had an apple. Barbossa was so hoping that she would. A pretty mouth like her and the taut, firm, white flesh of that apple would have been heaven.
Too bad, Barbossa sighed. But Turner...
Barbossa always had a thing for Bootstraps.
Barbossa knew that by now Will had heard the crew's reasoning for Bootstraps Bill's death. If only it was that easy.
Bootstraps had a lovely mouth. So perfectly shaped, and so rich. And Barbossa once walked in on him eating an apple.
Barbossa didn't sleep much that night.
When Barbossa asked Bootstraps to his quarters and offered him an apple, he freely accepted it. Barbossa lost control. He slammed Bootstraps against the wall and kissed him, tasting the sweet apple flavor, smelling the crisp scent of a freshly bitten apple.
And Bootstraps wasn't supposed to push Barbossa away.
Too bad, Barbossa mused again. His lips were so made for apples.
And the new little whelp has them too.
Jack Sparrow found out about Barbossa's apple fetish. At least, that's what he mummured in his ear before Barbossa tried to dispose of him too. Jack Sparrow was never supposed to live.
But Barbossa had his apples. And now he had Turner too...
TBC???
A/N: I know it's a tad, stange, but the words APPLE FETISH appeared in my head about 7 times while watching it... Review and let me know.
A/N: Slightly AU, but still humorous.
Barbossa's Bloody Apples
Barbossa sighed. Another day without his love. If only that Turner boy would comply. And Barbossa can once again be able to settle his thirst, his need, for his precious apples.
It all started one day when he was a little whelp, when Jack Sparrow was an annoying kohl-appling nobody. Barbossa was once again passed over for the Pirate crew. Jack, perfect Jack, was picked.
Pirates weren't supposed to cry. But Barbossa wasn't a pirate yet, so he had supposed that it was allowed. What other than a lonely apple came to comfort Barbossa in his hour of need?
It was love at first sight. Many a pretty lady would allow small Barbossa to watch them eat the heavenly fruit, apple scent wafting through the air. Barbossa's first time was with an apple. It was sweet and ready for him.
Jack Sparrow, the little fairy, had to find him.
"Barbossa, are you going to eat that apple?" Jack had asked him.
Barbossa looked longingly at his much-loved fruit and nodded a very sure yes. And so he took a bite.
Barbossa was hooked. No amount of cajoling could allow him to finish without a sweet apple. Apples were his life, and they were his friends.
So that curse, that wretched, wretched curse tore him away from his only love.
That poppet, Elizabeth, had almost had an apple. Barbossa was so hoping that she would. A pretty mouth like her and the taut, firm, white flesh of that apple would have been heaven.
Too bad, Barbossa sighed. But Turner...
Barbossa always had a thing for Bootstraps.
Barbossa knew that by now Will had heard the crew's reasoning for Bootstraps Bill's death. If only it was that easy.
Bootstraps had a lovely mouth. So perfectly shaped, and so rich. And Barbossa once walked in on him eating an apple.
Barbossa didn't sleep much that night.
When Barbossa asked Bootstraps to his quarters and offered him an apple, he freely accepted it. Barbossa lost control. He slammed Bootstraps against the wall and kissed him, tasting the sweet apple flavor, smelling the crisp scent of a freshly bitten apple.
And Bootstraps wasn't supposed to push Barbossa away.
Too bad, Barbossa mused again. His lips were so made for apples.
And the new little whelp has them too.
Jack Sparrow found out about Barbossa's apple fetish. At least, that's what he mummured in his ear before Barbossa tried to dispose of him too. Jack Sparrow was never supposed to live.
But Barbossa had his apples. And now he had Turner too...
TBC???
A/N: I know it's a tad, stange, but the words APPLE FETISH appeared in my head about 7 times while watching it... Review and let me know.