Warning: This is not supposed to make much sense, you know. Also, I corrected some mistakes and added a little explanation. I hope now it makes more sense.
Disclaimer: I own neither JCA nor Digimon, ok?
TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE
It was a calm night in San Francisco. Calm way too much, since Finn, Ratso and Chow had been playing poker for the last five hours. Hak Foo did not feel like joining them, so he just stood leaning against a box waiting for his master to come back to the Helm's Fish Cannery. The Chan clan had sealed the eight door three days ago, and now Valmont was able to try rebuilding the Dark Hand. Of course, first he had to find a way to come back from Hong Kong...
Finn was the first to blame Hak Foo. Before being exorcised and banished, Shendu had ordered him to take the Pan Ku box to a safe place, very far away from the Chans. Unfortunately, the Black Tiger took his mission very seriously and took the box to the other side of the world using the only transport that Valmont had to go back. When they had arrived at their hideout, they had realised they had forgotten their leader. Now it was too late, because the pilot had gone in a trip with their jet. It was not his fault, Valmont had promised him vacations.
But they knew that Valmont would come back, anyway. In a way or another.
"Aww... This is boring!" Ratso complained.
"I can't stand this anymore! We've been playing poker for the last five hours!" Chow snapped throwing his card at the box they were using as a table.
"As if you had a better idea," Finn muttered, gathering the cards. Ratso sighed and Chow crossed his arms. The group was in silence for some minutes until the Irishman had an idea. "Hey, dudes! How about playing Truth or Consequence?" he suggested, his expression brightening.
His two companions raised their glances.
"You mean Truth or Dare?" Ratso asked.
"No, that's American. Truth or Consequence is the Brazilian version of the game," the red-haired man explained.
"Why should we play the Brazilian version instead of our own?" Chow asked still without enthusiasm.
Because the author likes it better and is more familiar with its rules. Of course, Finn didn't know any of that, so he had to think about it for a moment.
"It's just more fun, alright?" he snapped.
"Alright, so... how do we play it?" Ratso wanted to know.
"Ok, here's the deal: we sit in a circle and place a bottle in the centre of it. Then, one of us turns the bottle. The bottom points to the person who will ask a question to the one whom the other side of the bottle points at. If you don't answer the question, you will have to suffer a consequence. Got it?"
"Ok," Chow and Ratso said nodding and did as Finn explained.
"Hey, Hak! Wanna play?" Finn asked and Hak Foo just looked away in annoyance. "Whatever. I start."
He turned the bottle and the bottom pointed at Ratso, while the other side pointed at... the space between Finn and Chow.
"Oh, man..." the Chinese man groaned.
"This won't do," Ratso stated.
"Yeah, we need more—"
The sound of a door being slammed interrupted their conversation and they turned to see who had just arrived.
"I think Valmont's back," Chow said and they got up to greet him, but were surprised to see that the crime lord was not alone. In fact, he was not even himself. His eyes glowed red and his voice was very different from his own. "Oh, not again..."
And just to make things worse, all the other demons, minus Tchang Zu, were with him.
"Shendu!" Finn said in shock. "What are you doing here!"
"Yeah, how did you escape from the void?" Chow asked and Shendu smirked quite arrogantly.
"I knew we could escape through a tear in the time-space continuum," he said crossing his arms and his siblings rolled their eyes.
"So..." Finn laughed nervously. "What now? You brought all your siblings here... Let me guess, new world domination plan?"
"Precisely," the water demon answered.
"But first we have to wait for our oldest brother," Xiao Fung said rather bored, as well as the other demons.
"And why?" Ratso wanted to know.
"He wants a new palace. Only after he gets one will we be taking over the world," Hsi Wu replied. At that moment, Shendu flinched and his eyes turned from red to human blue eyes.
"What? Where am I?" Valmont asked and looked back to see six evil demons staring at him. "Wah! What's the meaning of this?" he asked his enforcers and Finn sighed.
"The demons escaped somehow, Shendu possessed you, the world domination thing... You know, the usual."
"But that's impossible!" the crime lord shouted and Shendu took control again.
"Not impossible. It happened once," he said in amusement and noticed that his siblings were looking at him. "What?"
"We have nothing to do. This is boring," the sky demon complained and Ratso smiled.
"We were bored too, so we started to play Truth or Consequence. Wanna play with us?"
Finn and Chow stared at the Italian man in disbelief.
"Ratso, why are you inviting demons to play a game with us!" they whispered and Xiao Fung took one step forward.
"Sounds fun."
"I'm on it, too," Hsi Wu said, approaching.
"Me too!" Bai Tsa joined them.
"So, how do we play that game?" the wind demon asked.
"Ok, here's the deal: we sit in a circle and place a bottle in the centre of it. Then, one of us turns the bottle. The bottom points to the person who will ask a question to the one whom the other side of the bottle points at. If you don't answer the question, you will have to suffer a consequence. Got it?" Finn explained quickly and the three demons nodded, then they all started the game again.
Dai Gui turned to the remaining demons. "Perhaps we should join them, too..." he said and they just stared at him. "Right?"
------
"Uncle, are you sure the demons are free again?" Jackie asked while they approached the Helm's Fish Canner and the old man whacked him with two fingers.
"Of course yes, do not question Uncle!"
"This is so great!" Jade said, appearing from somewhere, and Jackie yelped in surprise, then frowned.
"Jade, you were supposed to be at Section 13, doing your homework," he scolded.
"Tch, hello! Homework on a Saturday? I can do it tomorrow or something. Besides, I helped you several times against the demons."
Jackie sighed and shook his head in defeat.
"Sensei, we should enter now," Tohru said as the group approached the fish cannery, gesturing at each other to stay in silence.
------
"Hah, Xiao Fung!" Bai Tsa almost shouted.
"Okay, Xiao Fung asks the brown one... uh, sorry, I forgot his name," Finn said smiling nervously at the earth demon.
"Dai Gui."
"Yeah, right. Go ahead, Xiao."
"Dai Gui, is it true that once you almost married a worm?" the wind demon asked and everybody looked at them in surprise.
"Huh!"
Dai Gui glared daggers at him. "Dai Gui does not have to tell you that," he snapped and Xiao grinned.
"Then suffer the consequence! Now you must jump rope for thirty minutes or we shall give you a spanking!"
"Fine!" And the earth demon took the rope next to him and began to jump rope, causing the whole fish cannery to shake as in an earthquake.
The door was suddenly opened by four alarmed humans.
"Chan!" everyone exclaimed.
"What? What's going on here?" Jackie asked as he and the others stared astonished at a scene that they never thought they would see. The Dark Hand and the demon sorcerers peacefully together while the earth demon was jumping rope around them.
"Whoa!" Jade exclaimed.
Eventually, the shakes that Dai Gui was causing made Uncle lose his balance and drop all the ingredients he had prepared to get rid of them. Everybody stared at it. Jackie slapped his forehead and Jade shook her head.
"So... what are you going to do now?"
"Hey, we don't have anything better to do, either. Why don't you come here and play Truth or Consequence with us?" Hsi Wu invited and Jade blushed. She had never liked the idea of banishing him, and had thought he was mad at her for doing that. Seemingly, she had been wrong. And she immediately had a great idea to get what she wanted.
"Alright!" she accepted.
"Well, we have nothing to do, anyway," Jackie admitted.
"Yes, we can get more ingredients later. Uncle is tired now."
"So, what are the rules?" the archaeologist wanted to know and Finn sighed.
"Ok, here's the deal: we sit in a circle and place a bottle in the centre of it. Then, one of us turns the bottle. The bottom points to the person who will ask a question to the one whom the other side of the bottle points at. If you don't answer the question, you will have to suffer a consequence. Got it?" he explained. "I'm really getting tired of explaining the rules of this game over and over again," he complained to his two friends.
"Hey, it's not so bad. That's what the 'copy' and 'paste' buttons are for," Ratso said and Finn shrugged.
"Even so—"
"Just shut up and let's go on with the game!" snapped Po Kong, who had shrunk a little to fit in the building.
"Right, but I have an idea to make the game much more interesting," Jade said slyly.
"And what is it?" they asked.
"Instead of asking a question, the two chosen people have to kiss. If they refuse, then the person whom the bottom pointed at will decide a consequence."
"What? I am not going to kiss anyone here!" Shendu protested.
"What's the matter? You don't have courage enough to accept this challenge?"
"Come on, Shendu. It's going to be fun," Xiao Fung said. Actually, almost nobody there had liked the idea, but after Jade's challenge, they did not want to look cowardly in front of their enemies and family.
The dragon reluctantly stayed in the circle, and the others opened space so that the Chans could join them.
"Okay, here we go!" Jade said and when was about to turn the bottle, noticed Hak Foo in a corner, watching them with a strange look. "Hey, aren't you going to play?"
He snorted and looked away again. She shrugged and touched the bottle to turn it again.
"Well, let the game begin!"
They all watched the movements of the bottle, which was performing a strange route due to the fact that Dai Gui was still jumping. When it stopped, their eyes widened.
"The girl asks Hsi Wu!" Bai Tsa said.
"No, now it's 'the girl kisses Hsi Wu'," Finn corrected.
"Oh. True."
Jade smiled and commemorated inside. That's what she had wanted. Her plan was completely successful.
Hsi Wu had to admit that he was happy for that, too. The destiny had separated them, their families prohibited any love affair between him and a mortal, and now everything would be solved by a stupid mortal game.
They blushed slightly, smiling nervously and approached. Their faces were so close that they could even feel each other's breath. They closed their eyes, their hearts beating two hundred times per second. Jade was especially nervous, since this would be her first kiss. Oh, how she had dreamed of this moment!
"Wait," Jackie interrupted and they two almost fell over.
"What!" they yelled in unison.
"I don't think you should kiss him."
"Well, why not?" Po Kong asked.
"Yeah, it's just a game. Don't be such a squad," Finn added.
"But Hsi Wu is infinitely older than Jade, and she's just a child."
"So?" the others asked impatiently and he rubbed the back of his head.
"I don't know, that just seems wrong to me."
"Aww, Jackie..." Jade groaned.
"Perhaps when you get a bit older..."
"Tch."
"Oh, well. Then you have to give him a punishment," Xiao said pointing at his youngest brother, who looked as angry as Jade.
"Uh... I don't know... Just... go around the world ten times," she said unenthusiastically and the sky demon hissed before leaving to do as she said.
"Let's continue," Chow turned the bottle. This time the result was even more surprising. "Shendu kisses Chan!"
"You mean 'Valmont kisses Chan!'" the fire demon said before withdrawing and letting Valmont take control.
"Uh? What's happening?" he asked in confusion.
"You gotta kiss Chan," Bai Tsa answered shortly and the white-haired man's eyes widened.
"What!"
"Or else you'll be punished," Tso Lan added and Valmont glanced at the ones who were there. All right, from what he was seeing, he could reach the conclusion that the demons were torturing the captured humans and having fun by forcing them into something really embarrassing. And if they did not obey, they would be physically tortured. So, which option was the best for him?
He gulped and bit is lip. So he just had to kiss Chan and they would not kill or torture him? It sounded disgusting, but he had no choice.
"All right," he said, to everyone's surprise. Jackie blushed a little; he never thought the crime lord would accept it that easily. Perhaps that meant something. Was Valmont trying to tell him his feelings towards him? Most likely. So, what should he do now? Return his feelings?
He swallowed with difficulty and leaned forward. Everyone was too shocked to say anything; even Dai Gui was watching the scene – still jumping, though.
And so Jackie's lips touched Valmont's. Now everybody's eyes looked like golf balls.
"Pity, I wanted to have them for myself..." Bai Tsa murmured.
And the kiss went on for some minutes until the two men stopped to catch their breath.
"I always suspected they actually loved each other," Finn remarked at his friends and Valmont's eyes widened again.
"What?" he said panting. "What did you just say!"
"Oh, don't worry, boss. That's so common nowadays."
"Yeah, it's not like we have prejudice or anything," Chow said.
Then, Valmont understood. He glanced around himself. Earth demon jumping rope, Chan family, bottle in the centre of a circle...
The door was slammed again.
"That's the last time I play Truth or Consequence!" Hsi Wu yelled, coming in.
Truth or Consequence... Truth or Consequence? Truth or Consequence! TRUTH OR CONSEQUENCE?
"You mean you—we—were just playing Truth or Consequence!" Valmont shouted madly and the others nodded. Valmont had the sudden urge of vomiting. He began to spit in the floor several times and shout about five curses per second. He rushed to the bathroom while Jackie was still blushing a bit absent-mindedly.
"So what's his problem?" Xiao Fung asked.
"I don't know," Finn answered, shrugging.
"Never mind. On with the game! Uncle is tired of waiting," the old Chan snapped turning the bottle.
"Chow kisses Po Kong!" Jade said rather amused. That would be hilarious to see!
"What! Wait, wait! I don't think that's possible!" Chow looked horrified at the mountain demon. She was drooling and licked her lips, looking oddly at him.
"Come on, give me a kiss."
"Gwaaahhhh!"
"Stop that, Chow. Just do it already," Finn said impatiently.
"I can't kiss her, she's gonna eat me!"
"It seems that we have to help him," the wind demon remarked and he, Bai Tsa, Finn and Ratso pushed the Chinese man towards her, but he ended up going straight into her mouth. Just half of him was 'outside' and he screamed desperately, trying to escape.
"Mmm, yummy," she commented, still biting him.
"You're supposed to kiss him, not eat him, sister Po," Hsi Wu reminded and she practically spat the human.
"He'll still take some while to recover, so let's go on," Jade said.
"Hey, Dai. You may stop jumping now," Xiao Fung said and the earth demon stopped, sighed, and joined them again.
"Hey, Hak? Sure you don't wanna play?" Finn insisted when noticing the Black Tiger was very concentrated on the game, but the warrior refused once more.
Then, Xiao turned the bottle.
"Ratso kisses the girl!" Chow said looking the bottle and smirking.
"Eww!" Jade grimaced when glancing at the enforcer. "I'd rather die!"
"What? You accept to kiss a demon but not a human!" Jackie said in disbelief.
"You told me not to, anyway. So just give me a punishment," she said referring the latter sentence to Ratso, who nodded in thought.
"Uh... I want you to stand upside down."
"What a stupid consequence," Finn muttered. Jade leaned against a box and turned upside down, using her hands to support herself. This was easy to her; she was used to do it.
Ratso smiled pleased and turned the bottle.
"The chi wizard kisses Xiao Fung," Tso Lan said. Xiao blinked and Uncle snorted.
"Uncle will not kiss a demon! Ever! One more thing, his mouth is too big for Uncle's mouth! One more thing, he's too ugly! One more thing—"
"I don't think so," the wind demon said while the old man kept yelling more things.
"Ok, ok, Uncle. You don't have to kiss him. Just give him a consequence," Jackie said. Uncle cleaned his glasses and frowned.
"You must take your human form, wear a ballet tutu and shout to the whole city, 'Garlic is good for digestion!'" he demanded and Xiao Fung stared at him, then glanced at his siblings.
"You heard him. Do it now, Xiao," Bai Tsa said while the others tried to suppress a loud laughter.
The wind demon groaned and got up, taking his human form, wearing a tutu and shouting, "Garlic is good for digestion!" as soon as he got out of the Helm's Fish Cannery. The group was dying laughing and Hsi Wu touched the bottle to turn it.
"Finn kisses Chow."
There was a silence. None of them was sure about what would happen now. After all, they got along very well; perhaps they were more than just friends.
The two men stared at each other and swallowed. They were clearly blushing and looking like they were going to approach at any moment. Finn was hesitant; he had always loved the Chinese man, but never had the courage to tell anyone. Now this was his chance, and he was going to waste it. Wait! No, what was he thinking? He loved Chow!
At the same time as he leaned forward, Chow did the same from his side and they ended up kissing rather violently, but passionately. Jade almost lost her balance and the others were open-mouthed.
"Aww... I cannot believe it..." Bai Tsa muttered, angry. They stopped kissing and smiled nervously when glancing at each other. The water demon rolled her eyes and decided to turn the bottle. "Dai Gui kisses Tso Lan."
"Whoa! Now that's weird!" Jade stated.
"You can't do that! That's not just gay, it's practically incest!" Bai Tsa protested. Dai Gui looked deeply at his gloom brother and watched how his tongue smelled the air. Ugh... disgusting.
"No," they both said at the same time.
"Then... a consequence for Tso Lan," Finn said and Dai was thoughtful for a moment.
"You must say that you love Jackie Chan."
Tso Lan suddenly felt like strangling his younger brother, but managed to keep his self-control. But he could not give up now, not in front of everybody. He was the moon demon; he would be victorious over any obstacle.
"I..." he muttered. "I... I l-lo-lo... I lo... I love..."
"Say it!" Bai Tsa demanded, already losing patience.
"I love Jackie Chan!" the moon demon said at once. Jackie frowned in confusion; he had never thought he would hear that from a male demon. Odd.
"Come on, you're toooooo slow!" Uncle yelled again and Jackie turned the bottle.
"Po Kong kisses Tohru."
"Oh, man... I pity him. Really," Chow murmured. Po Kong blushed as well as the Japanese man.
"P-Perhaps... I could avoid the problem we had last time by taking my human form..." she said shyly – which really impressed everyone, even her siblings! Tohru nodded and she took the appearance of a Japanese woman. She was not really beautiful, but much better than her true form. They approached and kissed.
"Aww, so cute..." Bai Tsa said smiling when they finished the kiss and looked away from each other, still blushing.
"Aiyah! Tohru, you cannot fall in love with big female demon! You will have to banish her in a few hours!" Uncle shouted.
"Freeze!" a new voice interrupted. They all turned to see Captain Black aiming a gun at them, Xiao Fung beside him.
"Captain Black?"
"Jackie?" he said looking quite confused. "What's going on? First I find this guy," he pointed at Xiao. "wearing a tutu and screaming like a crazy, 'Garlic is good for digestion!' and then I come here just to see you playing Truth or Consequence with the Dark Hand and the demons!"
They stared at the man without knowing what to say.
"Uh..." Jackie murmured looking embarrassed. "I'm sorry. I think I've been out of my mind."
Captain Black blinked. "Why didn't you call me to play, too?"
"Huh?"
"I love Truth or Consequence. I used to play it when I was a child," he said, approaching and Jackie gasped.
"Uh... No, enough of kissing and consequences. I need a break." He left the Helm's Fish Cannery and Uncle got up.
"Let's go, Tohru. We have to get the right ingredients now."
"Yes, sensei."
"You come too, Jade."
"Aww..."
The enforcers went upstairs and the demons also left, leaving a disappointed Captain Black alone with Hak Foo. The warrior approached him and for a moment, Black thought he was going to attack, but he just sat and took the bottle.
"So, do you want to play?" he asked coldly and Black smiled.
"Heh, do I!"
------
"So, uh... how long have you been... eh... you know..." Chow said, shrugging, and Finn glanced at him.
"To tell you the truth..." he sighed. "Since I first met you."
"Really? Wow..."
"And you?"
"Well... Not sure, but I think it's the same as you."
"So we have been wasting our time since then?"
"I guess so... Wanna go out?"
"Nah, we can have fun even here."
Chow smiled and they went in a room.
------
"I think I should tell him my feelings. I finally realized that I really love him. I will not have peace until I tell him with my own words..."
Valmont was brushing his teeth. When he was done, he dried his mouth with a towel and muttered some curses before noticing Jackie's presence.
"What do you want, Chan?" he asked sharply.
"That kiss... It made me understand my feelings for you. I'd like to say that I love you, Valmont! I really do!"
"And what makes you think that I feel the same for you! I don't love you! I hate you! I hate you more than anything else in the world!" Valmont yelled while getting out of the bathroom and leaving Jackie alone. The archaeologist sighed sadly and lowered his head.
------
Valmont stomped along the corridor, heading to his office. And the worse, he knew that Shendu was smirking, amused by his embarrassing situation. Blasted dragon!
"So you are straight," a feminine voice said behind him and he slowly turned around to look at a beautiful woman in surprise.
"Bai Tsa?" he guessed, still a bit unsure. She smiled and approached him.
"That is good, I almost lost my hopes. It would be really bad if a hottie like you were wasted like that."
She embraced him, making him flinch and even more shocked. He soon recovered and hugged her as well.
"How about some Truth or Consequence. 'Bai Tsa kisses white-haired human...'" she asked when her lips were almost reaching his.
"I prefer 'crime lord kisses water demon's human form,'" he whispered not caring how much they sounded like Hak Foo when speaking like that and suppressed Shendu in his mind.
And so they kissed...
------
"All right, time to go back! The world shall be mine!" Tchang Zu exclaimed and ran to the city, where he would take an airplane or something. He suddenly stopped when he saw a white light that began to increase and bright all his sight. When he opened his eyes, he just saw a strange creature that looked like an orange little dinosaur.
"Hello! I am Agumon! Welcome to the Digi-world! Let's be friends!" the creature greeted him and Tchang looked at the sky, raising his arms dramatically.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
THE END
A note about the last scene: It's not really supposed to make any sense, but look at it this way: Tchang Zu is stuck in the Digi-world, so now he'll take longer to join his siblings in San Francisco and they'll be bored than ever. Um, yeah. Thanks for reading.