A/N Thanks to those who've done reviews and sent me emails. I've been asked if this is a Harm/Meg story, or if it is indeed a shipper. All I can say to anyone else who has this question floating around their minds is…read on and find out. All will become clear in future chapters…I wouldn't want to ruin things before I had a chance to write them.

North of Union Station
May 21, 2004
1815 Zulu

Laughing happily Harm unlocked the door to his loft and stepped back to let Meg enter before him.

"Remember that time that you met with your 'contact' to get some information and made me wait in the Humvee?"

Smiling Meg shook her head slowly. "I was so determined to see if I could make you jealous. I even asked uncle Ollie to act more…intimate because I knew you were watching." She said with a laugh.

"Well it worked." Harm said as he set down the two grocery bags he was carrying.

"What?" Meg asked in shock. "It worked?"

"Didn't I ever tell you that? For the longest time it was driving me nuts. I even asked Kate if you had a boyfriend who was a spook."

"No, you never did tell me that." Meg said as she lightly punched Harm in the arm.

Laughing Harm lightly pushed her towards the living room and set about making dinner for the two of them. "Do you want anything drink?"

"Got any beer?"

"Actually I don't, but there's some water in the fridge if you want."

"I suppose it'll have to do." Meg said with a pout.

"Let me get it." Harm said, setting the head of lettuce he was cleaning down. Reaching into the fridge he grabbed a bottle of water and then lightly lobbed it in Meg's direction.

"So listen Harm…Colonel MacKenzie came up to me today and apologized about how she acted last night. What's up with that?"

"Oh…she just felt bad about not being more…social last night. That's all." He said with a shrug.

"I see. And did you happen to have anything to do with the sudden apology?" Meg asked with an arched eyebrow.

"Me? Not really. We were talking and she started apologizing to me. I swear, I didn't put her up to it."

"Riggght." Meg said doubtfully. "Big brother Harm on the warpath, is that it?"

"Honestly…I didn't say a word to her about it." Harm said as he started chopping up vegetables for the salad.

A few minutes passed in silence as Meg watched Harm at work in the kitchen. "She doesn't like me, does she?" Meg asked suddenly.

Pausing in the chopping of the lettuce, Harm looked up at Meg. He couldn't lie to her, but he didn't want her and Mac at odds either. "She doesn't know you." He said after a moment's hesitation.

"Uh huh" Meg said doubtfully. "What, does she think I'm competition?" Meg asked as she moved from the living room to the kitchen.

"Its not like that Meg…Mac and I are just really good friends…most of the time."

"She's the reason you were flying for the CIA, isn't she?" Meg asked as she came to stand across the counter from Harm.

"Like I said, its complicated." Harm asked, trying to evade the topic.

"And like I said, there's a girl involved. Colonel MacKenzie, right?"

With a sigh Harm nodded silently.

"What happened?" Meg prodded.

"It's a long story. Let me finished the salad and the tacos and I'll tell you over dinner."

"Harm." Meg said with a warning note in her voice.

"I promise alright. I'll tell you over dinner."

"Alright." Meg said. Reaching across the island she rested her hand on his shoulder for a moment before squeezing gently.

"So anyway...after that I just decided I needed some time alone for awhile. When I did finally come back the Admiral said…let me see if I can get this right.." Harm said, dropping his voice in an imitation of the admiral. "'You need something that can allow you to find that independence. Go drive a cab or wrestle alligators or something.' So…it looked like there was no coming back to JAG…I'd pushed the Admiral one time too many and he wasn't going to welcome me back with arms held wide. That's when I met Mattie…I started crop dusting for her in Sarah. And that's when the company approached me." Harm said, unthinkingly using the CIA's nickname.

"So let me get this straight." Meg said incredulously. "You resigned your commission, went down to Paraguay without a plan, killed god knows how many bad guys, risked death, rescued Colonel MacKenzie and Webb, crashed a plane trying to destroy a truckload of weapons, basically carried her out of the jungle on your back, and when you come back she pretty much tells you its not good enough, you guys won't move past being friends?"

"In a word…I guess so." Harm said with a sigh.

"That's three words." Meg said with a slight smile. "Is she nuts?"

"I've always thought so, but I'm still waiting for my mail away psych degree." Harm said in an attempt at humor.

"Do you love her?" Meg asked quietly.

Looking down at the top of the table Harm thought for a minute before he answered. Did he? Of course he did, but the question was really did Mac love him. And it appeared that he had his answer. "I guess I did…but its hard to love someone who doesn't love you back."

"If any man did that for me…" Meg started and then stopped, getting misty eyed.

"Hey there." Harm said softly, reaching out and touching the faint scar on the side of her head. "I seem to remember going off the deep end when you got this. I thought I'd lost you when Hemlock shot you Meg."

Reaching up she gently took his hand and held it in her own. "Yeah, but wow. What you did for her…Harm that's like something out of the movies."

"And chasing and stopping an assassin who tried to kill Yeltsin isn't?" Harm said wryly not failing to notice that she still hadn't let go of his hand. Gently he squeezed her hand. "You were just as important to me Meg."

"Were?"

"Well…its been eight years. We don't really know each other any more Meg. As you so succinctly pointed out earlier, I've changed."

"I'd like a chance to fix that Harm…I'd like to get to know you again." Meg said hesitantly with a little smile.

Instantly Harm was thinking of Mac. Stop it he told himself angrily. She obviously doesn't want to be with you, she's with Webb now. "Are you sure Meg? People don't exactly stick around when they get to know me. Either they run, or they die."

Nodding silently Meg looked deep into Harm's eyes.

"I'm not exactly the easiest person to get along with Meg…you know that. I've got more than a few rough edges, and I'm not really what you'd call an 'open' guy."

After a few moments of silence Meg asked hesitantly "Harm, I never told you why I left, did I?"

"What are you talking about? You left because you got orders to a new duty station." Harm said with a confused look.

"Well…that's not exactly true. I did get new orders…but I requested a transfer."

"Requested? Meg, why would you have requested a transfer? Was it me? I know some of our 'investigations' got a little hairy…"

Holding up her free hand slightly, Meg squeezed Harm's hand. "In a way I guess you could say it was you Harm, but it wasn't the investigations. I was…scared Harm."

"Scared of what Meg?" Harm asked confused.

"You…us…me. I guess you could say I was scared of myself. Harm you have no idea what you did to me…what that smile of yours still does to me. Damn it Harm." Meg said, letting go of his hand and standing up suddenly. "I never should have tried to make you jealous with uncle Ollie. It was a stupid little girl trick. It wasn't professional, and it made me realize what you were doing to me."

"Meg…what are you saying?" Harm asked in shock, standing up to move to her side.

Stepping away from Harm Meg walked over to the window, looking out into the night. "I was falling for you Harm…and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I knew how you felt about Kate…about your career. I knew you would never give it up for me, I mean you fought so hard to stay in the Navy after your accident. And to be honest I'm not sure I wanted to give mine up for you."

"What are you saying Meg?" Harm repeated, stunned.

"I know its been eight years Harm…and we've both changed. To be completely honest I'm not surprised you have someone like Mattie in your life…I'm just shocked there's no woman to look over her with you…and she's a little older than I pictured. I know you probably don't feel the same way as I did…and I have to admit I'm not sure I do either anymore. I…I just thought you should know."

Thinking for a minute Harm wasn't sure how to proceed. It wasn't everyday that someone dropped something like this on him. And for some reason he had no idea it was coming. "I don't know what to say Meg…I'm…I just don't know…"

"The prolific lawyer, Harmon Rabb Jr, speechless? Is this true?" Meg asked with the flash of a little smile over her shoulder.

"Don't get me wrong Meg…its not the bad kind of speechless…I just didn't expect this. I mean I flirted with you….alot. And I was attracted to you right form the start…why else would I have been so eager to get information about you out of Kate. But I had no idea you felt this way."

"That's why I left Harm…I didn't want it to become something that affected us at work. And I knew that you were the one who really shone at headquarters. You were the Admiral's fair haired boy."

Snorting Harm suppressed a laugh. "You have no idea how many times I've heard people call me that. And you have no idea how much aggravation I caused the Admiral. Between the firing of a weapon in the courtroom to me leaving JAG to hare off to Paraguay, I'm honestly surprised that the Admiral hasn't had me up on charges yet."

"Yeah but Harm, that's just one side of the story…its only half of what makes you great. There's the cases you fight and win because you know their right…not to mention your 'out of the courtroom' heroics. A dirty nuke Harm?"

"You heard about that?"

Pausing for a moment Meg looked over her shoulder, deep into Harm's eyes. Damn he missed looking into those blue eyes. "I have a confession Harm. I have every clipping of you in the Navy Times. I just couldn't let you go completely."

"Oh Meg…" Harm said as he came and wrapped her from behind in a hug.

"Harm…I have another confession."

"What's that Meg?"

"I was so jealous of Krennick. I knew she wanted you…and I thought she was going to get you."

"Dragon lady?" Harm asked with a laugh.

"Yeah." Meg said sadly.

"Wasn't going to happen. She just wanted me as some sort of twisted trophy. She even admitted that to me."

Quietly they stood there for what seemed like hours, Harm with his arms wrapped around her. Half afraid to break the silence Harm had to know. "Meg…what are we going to do?"

"I don't know Harm. I'm sorry…I just had to tell you…I was bursting inside. I didn't want another eight years to pass before I had another chance."