Note: Again, don't own them, they're just puppets on my strings for now. Then I have to give them back to the real puppet master.

A/N: Thanks again for the reviews that I've been getting. Its good to know people are reading. A couple things though.

cbw: I was waiting for someone to say something about how I've treated Mac. Please, remember that I'm focusing this story on Harm's perspective, and from where he's standing Mac is acting childish and spiteful. That's not to say that's how she is acting, or that she doesn't have her reasons and see her actions differently, but its what he's seeing (and us as we ride along in his head). More will become clear with time.

Again: If anyone out there wants to tackle a counterpoint story from Mac's perspective that would be great. If there are no one volunteers I will pick someone randomly! Seriously though, if no one wants to tackle it, I'll be writing one when this viewpoint is done. As such I guess I'll just warn people that there will be parts of the story that will only be discussed briefly from Harm's perspective, but that will be written fully from Mac's.

North of Union Station

May 22, 2004

1030 Zulu

Slamming his door behind him, Harm paused to say a silent thanks to the fact that Mattie and Jen were out of the apartment. With a sigh he walked over to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. After Meg left last night he couldn't get to sleep, and then when he finally did he couldn't stay asleep. So two hours ago he'd given up and went out for his morning run earlier than normal. He'd actually looked forward to it as a way to get his head cleared so he could think about what was said last night. If he was forced to be completely honest with himself he was still a little in shock at Meg's little revelation.

Pulling the cap off his water Harm put a hand on the countertop and then tipped his head back to drink the contents of the bottle in one go. Tossing the bottle into a recycle bin Harm moved to sit down at the table, unconsciously taking the seat Meg had sit in last night. All through his run he'd tried to get his head around what Meg had said last night, but the whole time he'd been dwelling on it a certain chocolate haired marine had kept intruding. He couldn't even stop thinking about her, even when he was trying to make sense of another woman's feelings. With a wry snort he shook his head. If he was going to be completely honest with himself, it really wasn't any different with Jordan, or with Renee, or even with Bobbi. Hell, it really hadn't been any different with any woman he'd met since Mac had walked into his life; ever since that day in the rose garden she'd become his standard by which he measured any other woman. At first it was because of her uncanny resemblance to Diane…but it didn't take long before Diane faded to the background to be replaced by Mac alone.

He thought back to the very first kiss they had shared that night on the Norfolk pier. She'd said she knew he was kissing Diane; if only she knew that that may have been how it started out…but it definitely wasn't how it ended. He had been very much aware that he was kissing then Marine Major Sarah MacKenzie, and not a ghost from his past. God how he wished he could tell her how much that kiss meant to him, how much he'd wanted to repeat it. Naturally his thoughts then turned to the kiss they'd shared that chilly autumn night on the Admiral's porch. How a simple "may I kiss the bride?" had turned into so much more. But all that didn't seem to mean much to Mac anymore, if it had meant anything to begin with.

Harm's reverie was broken by the ringing of his phone. Running a hand through his still damp hair he was reminded of his morning run and how much he was in need of a shower. He had pushed himself a little harder than normal this morning. Reaching out Harm grabbed the handset and answered the phone.

"Rabb."

"Harm, its Mattie. I didn't wake you did I?" came Mattie's voice over the line.

"Hey Mattie…no I just got back from my run. Is everything alright?" Harm asked, concerned that his ward would be calling so early. Glancing at the clock he saw that it was just before six.

"No everything's fine. Jen and I just wanted to let you know how much we appreciate you lending us your car for the weekend, its making things so much easier. And we wanted to let you know that we're ok and everything is going good."

"Thank you Mattie…that's very considerate of you. And thank Jen for me."

"Why do you want me to thank Jen?" Mattie asked in her best 'I'm innocent of all charges, sir' voice.

"For 'reminding' you to make this phone call. Although I have admit I'm surprised both of you are up at the crack of dawn. I didn't think even the bears out there would be able to drag you both out of your bags before noon."

There was a slight pause before Mattie answered. "A raccoon peed on our tent." She said disgustedly.

Doing his best not to laugh Harm bit his tongue. "It happens sweetie. Anyway, I really need to get into the shower…thanks for calling and letting me know you guys are ok."

"Yeah…you really stink Harm, I can smell it all the way out here." Mattie said with a laugh. "Oh and Harm…"

"Yeah?"

"The boys really like your car too. Bye" Mattie said with a laugh and then hung up.

Hanging the phone up Harm shook his head. If there was one thing he could trust, it would be that even head over heels over some guy, Mattie would keep him on his toes; especially with Jen there to look out for her. Good, he'd needed that call to take his mind off things. Just as Harm started walking towards the shower a knock at the door stopped him. Man, who could it be at this time of the morning? No…not her. Anyone but her.

Walking over to the door he opened it up to reveal Sturgis in his running gear.

"Hey buddy, glad I got here in time. You looking for some company on your run this morning?"

"Come on in Sturg. Actually I just got back a little while ago."

"You've been running already?" Sturgis asked as he closed the door behind him.

"Yeah…I couldn't sleep and needed to sort a few things out."

"One blonde and the other one brunette?" Sturgis asked with a wink.

"Now is not the time buddy." Harm warned with a frown.

Holding up his hands Sturgis smiled at Harm. "Look buddy, you know I'm not going to put my nose where it doesn't belong. I'm just saying scuttlebutt at the office has you spending a lot of time with a certain blonde Lieutenant Commander. The same scuttlebutt has a certain brunette Lieutenant Colonel slamming her door a lot more than usual. Not to mention a few headless Petty Officers and Lieutenants who made the mistake of crossing her path. And one very sorry Marine guard."

Dropping down on his couch Harm gestured Sturgis to grab a seat as well. "I guess I am spending a lot of time with Meg, but damn Sturg, its been eight years since we've seen each other."

"Do you love her?" Sturgis asked.

Raising an eyebrow Harm looked Sturgis in shock. "That's a little fast, even for me isn't it? Sturg…I haven't seen Meg in eight years."

"I wasn't talking about Meg Harm. Look buddy, ever since your trip down to Central America things have been bad between you and Mac; a lot stranger than normal. I'm worried about you two, and I'm not the only one." Sturgis said seriously.

"The Admiral said pretty much the same thing the other day." Harm said.

"What are you going to do about it?" Sturgis asked.

"What am I going to do about it?" Harm repeated. "I don't know if there's anything else I can do about it buddy. I threw away my career for her…I risked everything because I knew she needed me. And what does she do? She tells me its never going to work between us that way and then runs to Webb's arms. Hell, just last week she was pumping that MI 6 agent…Simon? Yeah Simon…anyway she was trying to get a better insight into how Webb's mind worked so she could have a better relationship with him."

"You haven't answered my question Harm…do you love her? I know you care for her…anyone can see that. But do you love her?"

Getting up Harm started pacing his living room, not looking at Sturgis as he spoke. "You know Sturg…its funny. I went for a run to clear my head this morning and if anything I confused myself even more. Whenever I tried to think about Meg Mac kept popping into my mind. And just now I was thinking about the times that Mac and I have…" Harm broke off and cleared his throat. "Well the times that I've kissed her. Not that there's been a lot of them…anyway. To answer your question councilor, I thought it would be clear how I felt about Mac. Apparently however, my throwing everything away for her hasn't registered on too many people. Everyone asks me if I love her, but I would have thought my little trip to 'paradise' spoke volumes about my feelings. I guess I'm the only one who gets it."

"Whoa there partner." Sturgis said, standing up and putting a hand on Harm's shoulder. "Slow down. I know how you feel about Mac…we all do. The fact that you were actually willing to give up everything to save her spoke more than loud enough for us. But brother…I gotta tell you something. And I'm not an expert by any means…but Mac may not be watching your actions any more; she may be listening to hear how you feel. You've acted pretty damn heroically in the past…when she was and wasn't involved. I hate to say it brother, mostly because it will probably swell your ego, but you're something of a legend…and death defying acts of heroism are turning out to be your stock in trade. Maybe she's chalking this up to another cruise missle. Or maybe she just sees herself as that girl Harriet and Bud told me about, DarLin…someone you save because they need saving. Like I said brother, I'm no expert, but maybe that's what's got Mac all angry and hurt. She's a tough woman Harm…and a proud one. I can imagine that she just doesn't like feeling like she needed to be rescued, even by you. She doesn't want to be another DarLin or…and don't get mad when I say this Harm because I know she means the world to you…another Mattie to you."

"Speaking of Bud, how are you guys now that he's got you off that idiotic racial bias charge?" Harm asked, wanting desperately to change the subject.

"Don't be trying to put me off brother…it won't work. Bud and I are working things out, and I'm grateful for the way he handled that. But we're not talking about me and Bud here. Sit down Harm." Sturgis walked back to the couch and sat down.

"She's not just someone I saved because they were in trouble Sturg. She knows that. And she's not just one of my 'obsessions' as she calls them. Damn it Sturg, I do love, I've always loved her. Its just not going to work out…you can't love someone who doesn't love you back. And I think its time got that through my thick skull." Harm said bitterly.

Reaching out Sturgis put a hand on Harm's shoulder. "Look buddy…have you told her how you feel? I know you think you have with your actions…but have you actually told her you love her?"

"We've…talked." Harm said simply.

"Yeah…and knowing you two, nothing was actually said. Listen bro…you've got to tell the lady how you feel."

"What about her and Webb?" Harm asked.

"Don't worry about Webb…I have a feeling he knows how much you feel for Mac…as much as any of us at work. I've got the impression the Admiral doesn't like Webb much…and if he gives you any problem you can always let the Admiral handle Webb."

Thoughtfully Harm stared off into space for a minute. Should he tell Sturgis what Meg had said last night? It didn't invalidate Sturgis' advice about him and Mac, but it did complicate things. "What about Meg?" he finally asked.

"What about her? I thought you guys were just friends." Sturgis said with a raised eyebrow.

"Well we are…but you never know how things will turn out. And we do have…I wouldn't call it a past together, but we do have a history."

"Lets just say no matter how tempting it may be to be in your shoes right now considering the women you're struggling over, I wouldn't take the chance. You're between the devil and the deep blue sea brother if you feel you have something to decide when it comes to the two of them."

Chuckling Harm nodded his head. "Listen Sturg…and don't think I'm trying to change the subject…when do you and Bud leave on this latest trip?"

Laughing Sturgis said "Tomorrow morning. We're supposed to report to the base commander Monday afternoon."

"Think Bud'll be up to a guys only afternoon? I don't know about you, but I sure could use one."

"Sounds like a plan. Why don't you set something up with Bud and call me at the office. I've gotta get some paperwork off my desk before we leave so I'll be there for most of the morning. Now if you'll excuse me, I need to take a run…alone." Sturgis said with a laugh as he stood up and moved to the door.

"Sorry man…you should have been up with the real men at three. And Sturg?"

"Yeah buddy?"

"Thanks for the ear."

"Anytime, brother. I know I haven't exactly been myself of late…but I'm working on it. And you know you can always come to me if you need someone to talk to."

"I know man. Thanks though; I really needed to talk to someone about things. I really need to get my head clear about this."

"We've all been there brother. Anyway…I'll see you this afternoon."

"Later Sturg."

Harm closed his door behind his friend's departing back and then finally made it to the shower.

McMurphy's Tavern

Same Day

2012 Zulu

Harm, Sturgis and Bud entered the dark tavern laughing.  All three were dressed in shorts and t-shirts and were sweaty and tired, but they all felt great. A long afternoon of basketball was just what the doctor ordered. Taking a seat in the corner they all ordered beers from Tony at the bar. They sat there laughing and chatting until the waitress brought the beers over and then each took a long pull from their drinks.

"God I needed that." Harm said with a sigh. "Or at least something cold. I can't believe you got me on that three point jumper Bud."

"Well sir, the Commander and I have been playing a lot of ball lately. And he's shown me a lot." Bud said with a laugh.

Harm would never tell him because it would just embarrass him, but to Harm Bud was the definition of the word hero. To have taken such a blow and then bounce back to become not only the man he was, but in a lot of ways an even better one if possible was nothing short of amazing. Harm knew a lot of the credit lay not only with Bud but with Harriet and the love their shared that allowed Bud to come back from losing his leg. Not to mention the boys. Harm knew a lot of people viewed his salvaging of his career after his ramp strike as a miracle, but he also knew that what he did was nothing compared to what Bud had done. The fact that Bud could still laugh, could still smile at the little things continually amazed him.

"Great, now I don't only have to worry about Turner pasting me on the court, I gotta worry about you too. Thanks Bud." Harm said smiling.

"Anytime sir." Bud said with a smile before he took another drink of his beer. "So…how's the Colonel sir?"

"I don't know Bud. Ask Webb." Harm said as his smile faded.

"I'm sorry sir…I didn't mean to upset you…I just wasn't thinking."

"Its ok Bud…really. And for the last time, we're not uniform…call me Harm."

Nodding slowly Bud took another drink from his beer. "Its just that you've both got us worried sir..and to honest I don't know if I'm going to be able to keep Harriet calmed down. Sir, can I speak freely?"

"Bud we're not in uniform…say what's on your mind."

"Sir…Harm…we all know you and the Colonel don't exactly have an…orthodoxed relationship. Half the time we don't know if you hate each other or…well you know. But you guys have always been able to talk to each other. What's been going on just isn't normal sir."

"Well Bud, nothing Mac and I have ever done could be considered normal." Harm said wryly.

"You can sure as hell say that again." A deep, familiar voice said from behind Harm. Looking over his shoulder he saw Admiral Chegwiddin dressed in jeans and a long sleeved cotton shirt.

"Sir." Harm said starting to stand, only to be stopped by the Admiral's hand on his shoulder.

"Keep your seat Harm…we're not in the office."

"Aye sir. Sir, if you don't mind me asking…"

"What am I doing here? Don't mind at all son. I happened to be driving by and saw Mr. Roberts' van outside. Naturally I was curious what one of my officers was doing here in the middle of the afternoon, and when I come in I find not one, but three of my officers. Does Harriet know you've kidnapped her husband to get him drunk in the middle of the afternoon?" AJ asked in a mock serious tone.

"Aye sir. Well she knows Sturgis and I 'kidnapped' him…as for the getting drunk in the middle of the afternoon, no such luck sir. Just a quick beer after a game of hoops." Harm said with a laugh. "Have a seat Admiral?"

"Don't mind if I do. Thanks." The Admiral said as he sat down on a stool next to Harm. "I'll have one of what they're having." He said to the passing waitress.

"Harm…I couldn't help but hear what Bud was saying when I came in. You'd be wise to listen to him."

"I have to agree Harm, but you know that." Sturgis tossed in.

Nodding Harm frowned thoughtfully.

"Harm, I need to ask you something. If you'd rather we can do it privately." The Admiral said after taking a sip of his just arrived beer.

"I think I know what its about sir, and I don't mind if Sturgis and Bud are here."

"Is there something between you and Lieutenant Commander Austin?"

Shocked Harm rocked back on his chair. That wasn't what he was expecting. "Sir?" he asked.

"I don't mean to pry son, and technically she's not in my direct chain of command so its none of my business if you and her are involved, but I can't help but notice that you've been a bit more cheerful since Lieutenant Commander Austin arrived earlier this week. Don't get me wrong Harm, you know I always liked the Lieutenant Commander…you know I'd kill any man who hurt her or any of my officers."

Nodding Harm couldn't help but think back to the Admiral's "Screw em. Steal their thunder." speech of eight years ago when Meg was laying in a coma induced by getting shot in the head. "Actually sir, she was under the impression you never thought much of her."

"Well she's just wrong, that's all. Now answer the question son. Is there something between the two of you?"

"Not that I'm aware of sir." Harm answered somewhat truthfully.

"Good. I wouldn't want there to be any tension between the Colonel and the Commander."

"Sir?" Harm asked, not sure where the Admiral was going with this. Sturgis and Bud had just sat there silently sipping their beers as the Admiral and Harm talked.

"I've decided to change the assignments for this coming week. It's a good thing I found you two." The Admiral said looking at Bud and Sturgis. "Your assignments have been changed; you're both to remain in the office this week. Lieutenant Commander Austin and Mac are going to be going in your places. That way the office is only short two senior staff members."

Confused Bud looked at Sturgis before speaking. "Two sir? I don't understand, if the commander and I are out of the office, then we'd only be short two…"

"You're forgetting Commander Rabb, Lieutenant."

"Sir?" both Bud and Harm said in confusion.

"Commander, I received a phone call last night, at my home. The SecNav and I are both aware of you having qualified on a number of additional aircraft recently, but your annual Tomcat quals will need to be renewed."

"Aye sir, but that won't need to be done for a few months at least." Harm said with some confusion still.

"Not exactly true Commander. The SecNav feels, and I am forced to agree, that with escalating tensions in the Middle East it would be best to get you checked out at the earliest opportunity. The Patrick Henry is docking in Norfolk tomorrow night and you will report on board Monday morning. You will be TAD to theCaptain for the duration of your stay on board. Unfortunately they will not be stateside very long as they are refitting and then heading back the Gulf within 62 hours of docking. You will obviously not have completed your quals by then so you will remain on board until they are completed. Once you are finished we'll find you a ride back to Pax. Normally I wouldn't feel the need to say this Harm, but with you I just feel I have to. Don't do anything stupid while you're there. I'll have the orders cut and bring them by your place tonight." Finishing his beer the Admiral stood up at the end of his speech. "Gentlemen, have a good weekend. Commander, Lieutenant I will see you Monday morning. Commander, I will be by later tonight with your orders."

"Afternoon sir." All three said as the Admiral turned to go.

Harm sat there in a bit of a confused fog as he thought about what the Admiral had said. Why would the SecNav want him to check out four months earlier than necessary? And why was he doing it on a ship that was on fast track turn around? Not that he minded checking out on the Henry…he'd developed a close relationship with a lot of the pilots and officers onboard, but if she was steaming to the Gulf three days after he got on board he wouldn't be back stateside in under two weeks.

"Well sir I'm sure you're going to be happy to be flying again so soon. Sometimes I envy you." Bud said with a smile.

"Thanks Bud." Harm said.

"I hate to say it, but the Admiral did have a point, sirs. If I don't get home soon Harriet's going to have my ears, and that doesn't even matter if I've been drinking or not."

Smiling Sturgis shook hands with the younger man. "Say hi for us Bud. And give AJ a hug for Harm."

"I will sirs. Thanks for the afternoon."

"You're welcome Bud…and tell Harriet and AJ that I'll be by tomorrow to spend some time with my godsons before I head to sea." Harm said absently.

"They'd like that sir, and so would we. We'll see you tomorrow then."

"Bye Bud."

After Bud left Harm looked down into the last of his beer thoughtfully.

"Penny for your thoughts buddy." Sturgis said.

"What? Oh…just thinking. And no its not about Mac and Meg. Why would the SecNav want me to do my quals early? And on the Henry, which is fast tracking back to the Gulf?"

"Neither you nor I know buddy, but there's no point worrying about it. You'll be back stateside long before they get to the Gulf."

"You're probably right Sturg. Thanks for the games." Harm said before he finished off his beer and then stood up.

"No problem buddy. You gonna let Mac know before you go?"

Stopping Harm thought for a minute. "The Admiral will tell her if he hasn't already." He said without turning around.

"You sure that's the best way for her to find out? And what about Meg?"

Shrugging his shoulders Harm looked over his shoulder at his friend. "What else can I do Sturg? She's probably with Webb right now. They were supposed to be going to some fund raiser tonight."

"Your choice buddy. Try not to annoy Captain Ingles too much when you're out there?"

Laughing, Harm waved once and then left to make his way home to pack his sea bag.