Note: Not mine, someone else's. Yada yada yada.

A/N: Harmsgirl1: I can appreciate your decision to only read Harm/Mac stories…it is a choice you and many others have made. I still won't reveal the final pairing however, and if you choose to stop reading that is a choice I can also respect. However, I can tell you that I am not intentionally being cruel, and by the end of the story my viewpoint will be clear. I'm sorry that you will not find out how it ends.

A/N 2: I'm going to be incorporating as much as I can from the season finale into my story, but some details will of course be changed to fit with my own storyline.

Chapter 6

Roberts' Residence
Sunday May 23, 2004
1615 Zulu

Harm turned off the engine and then sat looking down at the two envelopes the Admiral had dropped off the night before. One was addressed to him and contained his orders for traveling to Norfolk to board the Patrick Henry and begin qual testing. The second was addressed to himself and the Captain of the Patrick Henry, Captain Ingles. This one could not be opened without both officers present and had to wait until the next day when he boarded the Patrick Henry. Harm couldn't help but be puzzled by the need for a second, sealed set of orders. He had a feeling that this was more than a simple early qual cruise. This had something to do with the CIA, he would bet his life on it. And that meant Webb was involved, Harm could just smell him all over the sealed orders and the rapid turn around timeframe.

Sighing, Harm slid the two envelopes inside his jacket pocket. From the time the Admiral dropped off the orders last night to the time Harm boarded the Patrick Henry he was accountable for the documents and could not let them out of his sight. Stepping out of his car he noticed for the first time Mac's corvette parked on the street. He wasn't expecting her to be here…it would complicate things at best.

Walking up to the front door Harm put on a relaxed smile as he knocked on the door. Might as well try to put a good face on things he thought to himself.

"I'll get it honey." Bud's voice sounded from behind the door.

As soon as Bud opened the door Harm knew something was up, he could just tell by the look on Bud's face. In the courtroom Bud could surprise anyone, but outside the courtroom he was an open book.

"Commander. Its so nice of you to come by." Bud said, a little louder than was needed. Dropping his voice to a whisper he added "I'm so sorry sir."

"Bud. Something wrong?" Harm asked warily.

"I didn't know the Colonel was going to be coming by this morning sir, Harriet asked her to come by. And well…I might have let it slip that you were going to sea for awhile."

Great. Mac knew he was going out for quals, and she always got that way when he flew. Ditch a couple jets and people start to get nervous about you driving a tomcat. Patting Bud on the shoulder as he entered Harm said "Its ok Bud. I'll talk to her."

"Commander!" Harriet said cheerfully as she came out from the kitchen.

Smiling Harm wrapped Harriet in a great big hug. "How's my godson doing?" he asked.

"Oh he's doing fine Commander, he's out back playing right now. Bud, do you think the Commander would like an ice tea?"

"I'm sure he would honey, I'll go get it." Bud said right away and followed his words up by going to the kitchen.

Turning back to Harm Harriet's smile slipped into a cute little frown. "Harmon Rabb Jr. I can't believe you didn't tell the Colonel you were going to sea for your quals." She said tapping her foot.

"I thought the Admiral might mention it when he talked to Mac about her change in orders." Harm said lamely. Even to him it sounded lame, now. It hadn't sounded so bad when he was telling himself it would be ok last night.

"That's not the same thing Harm. You know she worries about you when you fly. You've given her enough frights, don't you think?"

"Yes mom." Harm said with his best flyboy grin.

"Don't take that tone with me Harmon. She out back with little AJ, and I think the two of you need to sit down and have a talk."

"I will Harriet. I promise." Harm said as Bud came back from the kitchen.

"Here you go sir." he said with a smile, completely unaware of the scolding that Harriet had just given Harm.

"Thanks Bud. Harriet tells me my godson is out back? I'll go say hi."

"Uhh…sir…Colonel MacKenzie's out there with him." Bud said cautiously.

"I know Bud. I guess I need to say hi to her too." Harm said as he set his shoulders and walked out to the back yard through the kitchen.

"UNCLE HARM!" little AJ's voice squealed as soon as he caught sight of Harm.

Catching the blond cannonball that rushed into him Harm lifted him up into the air laughing.

"How's my favorite godson doing?" Harm asked.

"Good uncle Harm. Mommy said you're going away again." AJ said going from happy to sad.

"I am buddy. But its only for a couple weeks, and then I'll be back."

"Are you going to bring me something?" AJ asked hopefully.

"AJ!" Harriet said in shock as she walked outside to hear AJ's last question.

Sitting down on a bench on the patio Harm set AJ on his lap. "I sure will buddy. How would you like a hat?"

"Ummm. OK." AJ said doubtfully. Suddenly he started squirming. "I'm having a birthday party."

"I know buddy. And I'm gonna try real hard to be here for it." Harm said earnestly.

"Aunt Mac's here. She's over there." AJ said, pointing out to a bench that Harriet had put out in the garden. When he looked over there Harm saw the back of Mac's head as she looked out over the garden.

"What do you think buddy…should I go say hi to her?"

"Uh-huh" AJ nodded.

"Alright AJ. I will. But you need to help your mommy if she needs it, ok?" Harm asked.

"OK!" AJ said enthusiastically.

Putting AJ down again Harm smiled at Harriet and then walked across the lawn to the garden.

"Hey Mac." he said softly.

"Harm." was all she said in reply.

"Mind if I join you?"

Silently she shrugged her shoulders.

Sitting down beside her he looked out at the garden. Harriet had done a wonderful job laying it out and things were really starting to bloom. In a way it sort of reminded him of the rose garden he had met Mac in.

"I always seem to find you in gardens." He said with a smile, attempting to lighten up the mood. Glancing over when she didn't say anything he saw a hint of a smile play across her lips. God, how he loved those lips. "So, I guess you've heard."

With a sigh Mac looked at Harm with sad eyes. "At first I was mad Harm; why wouldn't you tell me something like this? You know I worry when you're flying at sea. But you know what? I'm tired of being mad at you Harm; it just doesn't seem to serve any point any more."

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"This…you, me, the bickering and fighting. I'm too tired to go on Harm."

"You know Mac; I've been thinking the same thing. Its just not as fun as it was when we were younger." He said with a smile.

Right away he could tell it was the wrong thing to say, even before he finished closing his mouth by the tightening around her eyes and the way her frown deepened. Great! Open mouth, insert leg. "Well I'm sorry I don't amuse you the way I did when we were younger Commander."

"That's not what I meant, and you know that Sarah." He said. At his use of her given name he saw her look at him quickly. He supposed it was odd for him to use her Christian name instead of calling her Mac. He couldn't remember the last time he'd called her Sarah.

"So how long are you going to be gone?" she asked after a lengthy silence broken only by the squeals of laughter that AJ let out as he played with Bud.

"The Admiral didn't say, but because the carrier is steaming back out to the Gulf on a tight turn around, I figure two weeks to get the quals done and transit back."

Nodding silently Mac continued to look at the garden and not at Harm. He had to ask her, maybe she knew something about it.

"Mac…I know you're probably going to take this wrong way, but where's Webb?"

"He said he was going to Germany, why?" she said, finally looking at Harm.

Pausing Harm thought for a minute about what he was about to say. If he wasn't careful it would send Mac off again. "Its just that there's a second, sealed set of orders that I'm supposed to hand deliver to Captain Ingles and then open when I'm on board, and I don't like the feel of them."

"So automatically you assume Clay has something to do with them?" Mac said with an edge to her voice. "Damn it Harm, why can't you trust him?"

"I didn't say that Mac.."

"But you were thinking it. I know you Harm, and you were thinking it." Mac voice said rising.

"Alright, maybe I was, but so what? You know as well as I do that Webb has a habit of using you and me like we're his own personal agents. I mean look at what happened…"

"Don't say it Harm." Mac said standing up suddenly and crossing her arms.

"Sir…ma'am…would you like more iced tea?" Harriet asked from across the yard.

"No thank you Harriet." Mac said with a smile in her friend's direction. Turning back to Harm her smile instantly melted into a frown. "Listen Harm…we're not going to fight today…not here. For the sake of Harriet and Bud and AJ." She said sternly.

Sighing Harm nodded in agreement. "That's probably the best. Look, Mac. Mattie is coming home this afternoon from camping and I need to talk to her about my being away. Why don't you and I try having lunch again and we can talk about this."

Shaking her head Mac couldn't stop looking at Bud and Harriet and their smiling son. "I promised Harriet I would spend the afternoon helping her around the house…I just needed to be around people who love each other. Besides I don't think we have anything else to say to each other."

"Are you sure? I'm sorry I didn't tell you last night when the Admiral dropped off the orders…really I am Mac. I wanted to…but you were out with Webb and I just didn't want to worry you."

"Don't make excuses Harm, its not very becoming of you."

'God she's beautiful, no matter her mood' he thought to himself. Suddenly he found himself trying to pull her into a hug. For a moment she struggled, trying to pull back but then she gave in and let Harm pull her close.

"I'll be ok Mac…its just a simple cruise to get my quals done early." Harm said holding her close.

"You're not due for four months Harm. Why are you doing it early?" Mac asked quietly.

"I don't know Mac. The Admiral and the SecNav felt it was something that would be best to be done early…that Admiral said something about the escalating tensions in the Middle East."

"Are you changing your designator again?" Mac asked softly.

Shaking his head Harm couldn't help but become overwhelmed at the smell of her hair. Vanilla and roses. Sighing Harm squeezed her a little tighter. "No…I'm back at JAG to stay Sarah. I've been down that road, and I've been other places, and JAG is the only place that feels right." He didn't add that the only reason any place felt right was because she was there.

Breathing a big sigh of relief Mac pushed herself out of Harm's embrace to stand silently beside him. Somehow both Harm and Mac missed the sight of Harriet hugging her son tightly as she smiled broadly at the two people she loved most next to her husband and son.

Harm spent another couple hours with Bud, Harriet and Mac playing with AJ. Finally he shook Bud's hand and gave Harriet and Mac hugs and then with one final ruffle of AJ's blond mop Harm went back out to his car. Looking once more at Bud and Harriet standing in front of their door holding each other and AJ, Harm's eye were drawn to the lonely figure of Mac standing off to the side a little bit. Biting his lip Harm started his car and with a wave backed out of the driveway. Why couldn't they have what Bud and Harriet had? Why couldn't he give her that?

North of Union Station
2130 Zulu

Harm set the last plate on the table when the knock sounded at his door. Turning around he saw Mattie walking in.

"Hey Harm!" she said with a tired smile. "You expecting someone?"

"I am actually." he said with a smile. "I have a date tonight."

"Really?" Mattie asked. Pausing her eyes narrowed as she looked at Harm. "Mac or Meg?"

"Neither actually. Although, I did ask Meg to come by later so that we could talk about something."

"Harm! You're a bad bad man. Having a date and asking another woman over later. What kind of example is that to set for me?"

"Well…I don't know…I suppose that's up to my date. How do you feel about it?"

"Wait…me?" Mattie asked in surprise.

"If you don't already have plans I would be honored to be joined by the beautiful Ms. Grace for dinner. We need to talk about something."

With a small frown Mattie looked around the apartment, taking in the early dinner and then when her gaze traveled over the living room she saw Harm's packed seabag. "You're going away again." She stated sadly.

Sighing Harm sat down at the table and beckoned Mattie to come and sit beside him. "I am sweetie, but its only to do my quals. I don't think I'll be gone longer than a couple weeks. I'll leave my credit card with you and that way if you and Jen need anything you can use it."

"Really?" Mattie's eyes lit up as she sat beside him.

"Within reason Mattie. Within reason."

"Does Mac know?" she asked looking at Harm closely.

Nodding Harm thought about the aborted and strained discussion him and Mac had that afternoon. "I talked to her about it earlier."

"How does she feel about it?"

"Well hon, that's between me and Mac. What I want to know Mattie, is how do you feel about it? I know we've talked about my going away in the past, but you know I don't like leaving you."

"Even to go flying?" Mattie asked in a little girl voice.

"Even to go flying. You're a part of my life now Mattie, and that's important to me. I've had to take a good look at my life the last few months; look at what I have, and what I don't have. Its forced me to evaluate what I want for myself, and you're a part of that."

"Gee Harm, that's touching…I think I'm going to cry." Mattie joked, but Harm could see the glistening of moisture at the corners of her eyes.

Smiling he ruffled her hair he gave her a hug. "So are we ok?"

"Yeah, we're ok. Can Jen and I have a party while you're gone?"

"No." Harm said firmly.

"Can't blame a girl for asking." Mattie said with a smirk.

North of Union Station
0010 Zulu

Harm opened the door with a smile to see Meg standing out in the hallway wearing a pair of faded boot cut jeans and an old navy sweatshirt. "Hey Meg, thanks for coming by."

"Do you think I would miss a chance to spend time with my favorite JAG lawyer?" Meg asked with a smile. Stopping beside Harm she gave him a little hug and a peck on the cheek.

Closing the door Harm followed Meg into the apartment. "Can I get you some wine?" he asked when they were at the kitchen.

"Sure." She said then watched silently while he poured a single glass of white. "You're not having any?"

Handing her the glass Harm smiled at her. "Can't. They frown on going from the bottle to the throttle."

"You flying?" Meg asked with her confusion showing.

"Yeah. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. The Admiral dropped off some new orders for me. I'm heading out the Patrick Henry to do my quals…tomorrow."

"When are you going to be back?" Meg asked after taking a sip of her wine.

"It shouldn't be more than a couple weeks. The Henry docked today and after they take on provisions and run a maintenance check they'll be turning around and heading back the Gulf. Gives me the wave time I need to get all my traps in and then I'll be coming back…probably by Cod."

Meg frowned into her wine glass before she looked back up at Harm. "Well that stinks. I just got here and you're going to be gone for two weeks." She pouted.

"Aren't you going to Lejune with Mac?"

"Yeah, but that shouldn't take more than a couple days. I was hoping we could do some stuff this week."

"You'll still be here when I get back right? Don't worry Meg…I want so spend a lot more time with you before you go back to Pearl." Harm said with a smile. "We've got eight years to make up…and only a couple weeks to do it in now."

Setting down her wineglass on the countertop, Meg moved to stand behind Harm and began to massage his shoulders.

"Whoa there Meg…" he said in shock.

"What, you don't like it?" she asked.

"Well, its not that I don't like…I just wasn't expecting it is all."

"So do you want me to stop?" she asked following up her words by holding her hands up.

"Meg Austin…you've definitely changed." Harm said with a low chuckle. Standing up he turned to face her with his big smile. Reaching out he pulled her into a close embrace and looked down into her blue eyes. Somewhere in the back of his mind he couldn't help but notice they weren't the deep brown eyes he always saw in his dreams. Lowering his head he brought his lips to hers in a deep kiss.

At the sound of a knock at the door Harm and Meg sprang apart just as Mattie walked in. "Hey Harm…" she said. "Oh…hi Meg. Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt anything."

"Its OK Mattie. Meg and I were just talking about my quals." Harm said with a smile.

"Hi Mattie." Meg said looking everywhere but at Harm.

"Yeah…right." Mattie said doubtfully, looking at them closely. "Anyway…I forgot to give these to you earlier and I guess you'll need them to get to Norfolk tomorrow." And with that she tossed Harm the keys to his Lexus.

Deftly catching the keys Harm smiled at his ward. "Thanks hon. What are you and Jen up to tonight?"

"I think we're just going to pop in a movie and veg out. We're both pretty beat after the camping. Speaking of which I should get back or she'll put on one of those mushy movies she likes." Mattie said wrinkling her nose. Waving she closed the door behind her.

"Don't let her fool you." Harm said with a smile. "She watches those movies just as often as Jen."

"I don't think we fooled her." Meg said.

"She's a sharp one; I wouldn't be surprised if we didn't." Harm said with a chuckle. Glancing around nervously he made a show of looking at the clock on the wall. "I should probably get to bed soon, I need to be up early to get my run in and then drive out to Norfolk."

"Yeah…I should probably go too. Lieutenant Colonel MacKenzie and I are flying out tomorrow morning." Meg said nervously running her hand through her hair.

"Let me walk you down to your car." Harm said.

"Its ok…really. I'll be fine Harm." Meg said as they walked up to the door.

"You sure?" Harm asked.

Nodding Meg smiled at him. "Uh-huh. Listen…stay in touch when you're out there ok? Send me emails or something. Let me know how things are going."

"I will, I promise. Good night Meg." Harm said holding the door open for her.

"Good night Harm." Meg said. Rising up on her tip toes she placed a small kiss on his cheek. "Be good out there."

"Always." Harm said with a grin. As she walked down the hallway he closed the door and brought his forehead down to the door's surface. "What are you doing Rabb?" he asked himself thinking not of Meg but of a certain Marine who kept popping into his head. Even when he was kissing Meg he couldn't stop thinking of her…and she didn't even want to be with him.

Shaking his head he went to clean the wineglass and then sat down on his couch to read a little before going to bed.