Chapter 2: A not-so-successful wedding.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[Outside of the chapel we see a sign that says: Today, the marriage of princess Mia to Prince Bernard. Tomorrow: Tolbi coin toss] [Cut to: inside chapel] [Organ music]
Mia: I don't wanna marry that freak!
Hammet: tough. Is everyone ready?
Mia: NO! Where's Jenna?
Sheba as usher: crap! Jenna? JENNA?
[Jenna staggers in]
Jenna: Stupid costume!
Hammet: Shut up! We don't have time for this!
[The group begins walking down the aisle. At the alter, we can see Sheba, who is no longer the usher, and now the priest guy (Sheba: grrrr) I mean girl, and Bernard, who is obviously enjoying this. The group reaches the alter, and Mia throws Bernard a look of pure hatred.]
Sheba: Dearly beloved-
Mia: Fat chance.
Bernard: Why? I love you Mia!
Mia: You're just saying that to bug your brother.
Bernard: Oh yeah.
Sheba: Ahem?
Bernard: Sorry
Mia: Sorry
Sheba: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to witness Princess Mia, daughter of Mia's Dad, punching Bernard in the face-
Bernard: OW!
Sheba: -and running right past the alter, down the aisle and out the door! And to see Jenna following her.
[Scene: outside]
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
[At this point, they reach a flying ship, and get inside it at once. The rest of the people attending the wedding come outside just to see it take off.]
[Scene: inside the ship]
Jenna: As I was saying, you forgot to get married.
Mia: I will get married, as soon as I find someone who isn't Bernard.
Jenna: You better not touch my Isaac!
Mia: That loser? No way.
Jenna: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Mia: ::gulp::
[This is the point where it would be dangerous for us to stay inside the ship, as there is about to be a very big fireball. Therefore, we will cut to-]
[Scene: Isaac's ship, the Ragnarok 5, It looks a lot like a covered wagon, and there is a bumper sticker on it saying: "I (heart symbol) Uranus" we can hear the band "Weyard for dummies" playing very loudly]
Isaac: Garet! [Waits a few seconds] Garet! [Waits some more] GARET!
[Scene: back area. Garet is eating, and listening to loud music]
Isaac: GARET!
Garet: huh?
Isaac: Get in here, you moron!
Garet: Always when I'm eating!
[Garet turns down the music and walks into the front area. He is wearing a dog tail and dog-ears. He has patches of fur on his face and shoes]
Garet: What is it boss?
Isaac: We got a phone call. Answer it.
Garet: I'll turn on the audio only, so they won't see how ugly you are in that cowboy hat.
Isaac: Shut up.
[Garet flips the "video on" switch. The screen lights up, showing: Vinny, as played by Sheba]
Sheba: Isaac! Haven't seen you in a while!
Isaac: ha. Ha. What is it Sheba?
Sheba: Yeah, eerm. . . HE wants to have a word with you.
[The screen pans over to show: Stat. enhancing food the hut!]
Stat. enhancing food the hut: Isaac! Where's my money?
Isaac: Don't worry stat enhancing food! You'll get it by next week!
SEFH: No, no, I gotta have it by tomorrow!
Isaac: Tomorrow? 100,000 gold by tomorrow?
SEFH: no, that's forgetting late fees! It comes to. . . let's see. . . 1 million gold!
Isaac: Oh shit.
SEFH: And if you don't have it. . .
[the screen shows "Vinny" again]
Sheba: If you don't have it. . . SEFH is going to buy YOU!
Isaac: That was funnier in the move.
Sheba: Yeah, it was.
[The call ends, and the phone rings again. This time it is King Hammet.]
Hammet: Isaac! You gotta save Mia! She's getting chased by Spaceballs!
Isaac: No way. I'm already numero uno on Ivan's hit list, after the hair gel incident.
Hammet: You gotta save her! I'll give you 100,000 gold!
Garet: We might do it. Where can we find her?
Hammet: She's driving Babi's old ship, with Jenna.
Isaac: Jenna? Hmm. . . up it to one million gold and you got a deal!
Hammet: A million? You gotta be kidding me.
Garet: Sorry. He's not. Isaac doesn't talk enough to joke around.
Hammet: Fine. Just do something right now!
[Cut to: Spaceball city, Scroobe's office]
[Felix is talking on the phone.]
Felix: As president of this planet, I can assure both you and your viewers that WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Goodbye. [Click]
[The wall suddenly lights up with a picture of Feizhi in a military uniform.]
Feizhi: Felix!
Felix: Gah! What is it Feizhi?
Feizhi: Ivan called. He's about to catch Princess Mia.
Felix: Good.
Feizhi: Do you want to come and watch?
Felix: Sure. I'll be right there.
Feizhi: Should I have Alex teleport you down?
Felix: I don't know. Are you sure that stuff is safe?
Feizhi: It's perfectly safe.
Felix: Fine. What the hell, it worked in the game. . .
[Felix steps on to a "teleport platform" He is suddenly teleported, Alex style into the Command room. His head is on backwards.]
Feizhi: Holy crap! What happened to his head?
Alex: It's on backwards!
Felix: . . .
Feizhi: um, Felix, this is your line.
Felix: I. Will. Not. Say. That. Line.
Alex: Whatever. Teleporting back now.
[Felix teleports into his office again.]
Feizhi: [on wall] Are you ok?
Felix: I'm fine.
Feizhi: I'll have Alex try again, sir.
Felix: No. Way. In. Hell. This time I'm walking.
[Felix walks through a door in his office and right into the command room.]
[Feizhi points at a radar screen, where we can see Spaceball won closing in on Her Majesty's Flying ship.]
Felix: Excellent. . .
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
[Outside of the chapel we see a sign that says: Today, the marriage of princess Mia to Prince Bernard. Tomorrow: Tolbi coin toss] [Cut to: inside chapel] [Organ music]
Mia: I don't wanna marry that freak!
Hammet: tough. Is everyone ready?
Mia: NO! Where's Jenna?
Sheba as usher: crap! Jenna? JENNA?
[Jenna staggers in]
Jenna: Stupid costume!
Hammet: Shut up! We don't have time for this!
[The group begins walking down the aisle. At the alter, we can see Sheba, who is no longer the usher, and now the priest guy (Sheba: grrrr) I mean girl, and Bernard, who is obviously enjoying this. The group reaches the alter, and Mia throws Bernard a look of pure hatred.]
Sheba: Dearly beloved-
Mia: Fat chance.
Bernard: Why? I love you Mia!
Mia: You're just saying that to bug your brother.
Bernard: Oh yeah.
Sheba: Ahem?
Bernard: Sorry
Mia: Sorry
Sheba: Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, to witness Princess Mia, daughter of Mia's Dad, punching Bernard in the face-
Bernard: OW!
Sheba: -and running right past the alter, down the aisle and out the door! And to see Jenna following her.
[Scene: outside]
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
Jenna: but-
Mia: no
[At this point, they reach a flying ship, and get inside it at once. The rest of the people attending the wedding come outside just to see it take off.]
[Scene: inside the ship]
Jenna: As I was saying, you forgot to get married.
Mia: I will get married, as soon as I find someone who isn't Bernard.
Jenna: You better not touch my Isaac!
Mia: That loser? No way.
Jenna: WHAT DID YOU SAY?
Mia: ::gulp::
[This is the point where it would be dangerous for us to stay inside the ship, as there is about to be a very big fireball. Therefore, we will cut to-]
[Scene: Isaac's ship, the Ragnarok 5, It looks a lot like a covered wagon, and there is a bumper sticker on it saying: "I (heart symbol) Uranus" we can hear the band "Weyard for dummies" playing very loudly]
Isaac: Garet! [Waits a few seconds] Garet! [Waits some more] GARET!
[Scene: back area. Garet is eating, and listening to loud music]
Isaac: GARET!
Garet: huh?
Isaac: Get in here, you moron!
Garet: Always when I'm eating!
[Garet turns down the music and walks into the front area. He is wearing a dog tail and dog-ears. He has patches of fur on his face and shoes]
Garet: What is it boss?
Isaac: We got a phone call. Answer it.
Garet: I'll turn on the audio only, so they won't see how ugly you are in that cowboy hat.
Isaac: Shut up.
[Garet flips the "video on" switch. The screen lights up, showing: Vinny, as played by Sheba]
Sheba: Isaac! Haven't seen you in a while!
Isaac: ha. Ha. What is it Sheba?
Sheba: Yeah, eerm. . . HE wants to have a word with you.
[The screen pans over to show: Stat. enhancing food the hut!]
Stat. enhancing food the hut: Isaac! Where's my money?
Isaac: Don't worry stat enhancing food! You'll get it by next week!
SEFH: No, no, I gotta have it by tomorrow!
Isaac: Tomorrow? 100,000 gold by tomorrow?
SEFH: no, that's forgetting late fees! It comes to. . . let's see. . . 1 million gold!
Isaac: Oh shit.
SEFH: And if you don't have it. . .
[the screen shows "Vinny" again]
Sheba: If you don't have it. . . SEFH is going to buy YOU!
Isaac: That was funnier in the move.
Sheba: Yeah, it was.
[The call ends, and the phone rings again. This time it is King Hammet.]
Hammet: Isaac! You gotta save Mia! She's getting chased by Spaceballs!
Isaac: No way. I'm already numero uno on Ivan's hit list, after the hair gel incident.
Hammet: You gotta save her! I'll give you 100,000 gold!
Garet: We might do it. Where can we find her?
Hammet: She's driving Babi's old ship, with Jenna.
Isaac: Jenna? Hmm. . . up it to one million gold and you got a deal!
Hammet: A million? You gotta be kidding me.
Garet: Sorry. He's not. Isaac doesn't talk enough to joke around.
Hammet: Fine. Just do something right now!
[Cut to: Spaceball city, Scroobe's office]
[Felix is talking on the phone.]
Felix: As president of this planet, I can assure both you and your viewers that WE'RE DOOMED! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! Goodbye. [Click]
[The wall suddenly lights up with a picture of Feizhi in a military uniform.]
Feizhi: Felix!
Felix: Gah! What is it Feizhi?
Feizhi: Ivan called. He's about to catch Princess Mia.
Felix: Good.
Feizhi: Do you want to come and watch?
Felix: Sure. I'll be right there.
Feizhi: Should I have Alex teleport you down?
Felix: I don't know. Are you sure that stuff is safe?
Feizhi: It's perfectly safe.
Felix: Fine. What the hell, it worked in the game. . .
[Felix steps on to a "teleport platform" He is suddenly teleported, Alex style into the Command room. His head is on backwards.]
Feizhi: Holy crap! What happened to his head?
Alex: It's on backwards!
Felix: . . .
Feizhi: um, Felix, this is your line.
Felix: I. Will. Not. Say. That. Line.
Alex: Whatever. Teleporting back now.
[Felix teleports into his office again.]
Feizhi: [on wall] Are you ok?
Felix: I'm fine.
Feizhi: I'll have Alex try again, sir.
Felix: No. Way. In. Hell. This time I'm walking.
[Felix walks through a door in his office and right into the command room.]
[Feizhi points at a radar screen, where we can see Spaceball won closing in on Her Majesty's Flying ship.]
Felix: Excellent. . .