GETTING UNHITCHED

I'd like to state for the record that I do not own a copy of the books. As such there are bound to be plenty of canonical errors (as well as all the other regular kind). Feel free to correct, shout or laugh at me. This is pure fluff, except when its not. Roger doesn't exist in this story.
Hope you enjoy - plotless.
Disclaimer : I do not own any of Tamora Piece's characters or settings. I just like to sneak into her toybox and play with them once in a while.

Thank you to everyone who reviewed.

Chapter 5

Alanna felt someone shaking her and calling her name. She opened her eyes groggily. What time was it? Calisto was standing over her. As soon as she saw Alanna was awake she got straight to the point.
"Did you get it? Do you have it?" she asked anxiously.
"Of course," Alanna said swinging her legs over the side of the bed and rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Its in my purse. Did you ever doubt me?"

Calisto rushed over to her dresser and rooted through her bag. Finding the chain she sighed in relief and put it on. She walked back over to Alanna and sat down next to her.
"Well…the castle has lots of guards and Delia might have had spells put on the necklace to keep it safe in case we tried to take it back."
"Why didn't you tell me earlier that she could have put spells on the necklace?" Alanna demanded. "And how did he know?" she asked out loud by mistake.

"Huh…he? Who's 'he'? What aren't you telling me Alanna?" Calisto looked at Alanna suspiciously. "Is there something I should know?" She asked.
"Don't be an idiot and even if there was something I wasn't telling you I'd have a very good reason not to," Alanna said hotly. Her head was sore and she needed more sleep.
"Then tell me who 'he' is," Calisto demanded.
"'He' is George," Alanna said.
"And who exactly is George," Calisto asked.
Alanna sighed and explained about everything that had happened last night from the time she left her room to when she left the inn."…And when I got back here the necklace was in my bag," she finished.

Accepting her answer, Calisto said, "We should get down to breakfast." She got up and walked out the room leaving Alanna to trail tiredly after her.

***

Calisto looked over at Alanna's sleeping form and nudged her. They were in the dining hall and Alanna's head was almost in her food. Alanna stirred, looked around through half open eyes, mumbled something and fell asleep again. Calisto grinned and her hand began to slowly creep towards Alanna's plate of chocolate cake. Her hand had almost reached the plate when a fork landed on the table inches away from her hand.
Alanna glared at her. "Touch the cake, and I kill you!" she hissed.
"I was just going to take a little piece," Calisto whined, slouching in her chair.
"Don't slouch, sit properly, back straight," Alanna said to annoy her.
Calisto ignored her, "So what are we going to do today?" she asked.
Alanna shrugged, "I dunno."
"Maybe you should get ready for the ball tonight Alanna," Thom said from across the table.
"It isn't polite to eavesdrop. And why would we want to get ready for the ball?" Calisto pulled a face at him.
"I wasn't talking to you was I?" he answered.
"You were still listening to our conversation," Calisto said.
"Technically you're the one who's eavesdropping on my conversation with Alanna." Thom replied.
"Stop acting like such babies, both of you," Alanna said irritably.

"I just think you should look your best since there are going to be a lot of rich, handsome men to wed," Thom said.
Alanna looked at Thom thunderstruck. He had been very stiff and formal when they first arrived at the palace but she assumed that was because he was shy and still getting used to having her around again. Now, he was actually suggesting that she get married.
"What happened to you Thom? You were always so fun when we were young. You were the one who always came up with the best pranks. Now you're acting like all the rest of these knuckle heads at court," Alanna looked at her brother with concern.
"I've just grown up. You should try it sometime," Thom said. "Actually a really close friend of mine has expressed an interest in you," Thom smiled.
Alanna looked horrified, "What?!" she asked.
"I know, it's a shock isn't it?" Thom said smiling broadly.

He stood up, "Well I'd better go. I have fencing practice. Find something nice to wear tonight, please."

"So shall we listen to master Thom and start primping or shall we do something else?" Calisto asked when Thom had disappeared through the doors of the dining hall.
"Do you have anything in particular you want to do?" Alanna asked picking up the last of the cakes.
"Please give me the cake?!" Calisto pleaded, quickly forgetting any plans she might have had.
Alanna looked at her friend, smiled and stuffed the cake in her mouth. "Sorry can't it's already gone," she said her mouth fill. She gulped down the cake. "So what were you saying?" she asked.
Calisto glared, "You greedy pig."
"I said I was sorry," Alanna said fighting back the laughter that threatened to erupt from her throat.
Calisto glared at Alanna, "Fine, I accept your apology but resentfully."
"Whatever makes you feel better," Alanna grinned.
"I'll pretend I didn't hear that," Calisto said. "Anyway I've got a plan and I know you'll love it. It's better than staying here and getting ready for the ball."
"What do you have in mind?" Alanna asked.
"Well, it involves a certain thief at an inn," Calisto grinned.
"Lets go," Alanna jumped up eagerly and turned to leave.
"We'll need disguises," Calisto said getting up and following her.
"And I know where we can get some," Alanna said her eyes glinting mischievously.

***

Alanna looked around Thom's room impressed. Who'd have thought a boy's room could be this neat. Except for a few pieces of paper strewn on his desk everything was in neat piles. Alanna walked across the room to his trunk and opened it. Even his clothes were folded neatly. As she selected two outfits Alanna heard Calisto rifling through the papers on his desk. Alanna found them both something to wear and turned to find Calisto engrossed in something written on one of the pieces of paper.

"What's that?" Alanna asked.
"A poem," Calisto said not looking up.
Alanna sniggered, "A love poem?" she asked.
"Not the kind boys write to impress girls. This one goes deeper than that," Calisto looked thoughtful, "Who knew that that stiff, humourless little bore could actually write something like this." Calisto put the paper down abruptly, turned and walked out of the room.

***

Alanna looked at her and Calisto's reflections in the window of one of the shops as they walked past. They made really good squires. They had enchanted their hair to look short and put on Thom's breeches and white shirts. The guards hadn't suspected a thing but then the guards weren't that good. They reached the Dancing Dove and walked in. Alanna looked around the inn for George. She spotted him sitting at the table by the fire. They walked over.

Alanna grinned at George, "Morning," she said cheerfully. "I brought my friend to see you."
George stood slowly, pushing his chair away from the table and getting up. Alanna thought he looked confused. He must meet a lot of people everyday she thought, so she tried to jog his memory. Moving closer she said, "I really enjoyed last night. I had a great time, I hope you did too."

George gulped and took a step back, his face turning a funny shade of purple. "I knew I had too much to drink last night," he muttered to himself.
"Um…George are you alright?" Alanna asked concerned.
"Yes fine. There's just something I have to tell you," George said uncomfortably.
"What?" Alanna asked.
"It's just I'm not…I'm not… I mean I don't…" George began but Alanna interrupted.

"Hold on," she said. Alanna turned to Calisto who had been pulling on her arm since she had started her conversation with George. "What do you want?" she hissed.
"Alanna you still look like a boy," Calisto hissed back.
"Oops," Alanna said. She concentrated on her gift, gave a soft tug on it and felt her hair begin to grow.
"Alanna it's you," George said breathing a sigh of relief.
"Who did you think it was," Alanna said grinning evilly. "Did I really look that bad as a squire?" she asked.
"Of course you do! You look exactly like Thom," Calisto answered for George grinning.

"You haven't introduced me to your friend," George changed the topic quickly. "This is Calisto. The one whose stolen necklace you stole," as Alanna said this Calisto's necklace appeared around her neck. "Hey, I told you not to wear that. It's not very manly."
"I'm not a man," Calisto stuck her tongue out at Alanna.
"Baby," Alanna said grumpily.
"Do you two want to sit down while I go get something for us to drink?" George asked.
"Sure," Alanna and Calisto said at the same time, pulling out chairs and plopping themselves down on them.
"So what do you think?" Alanna asked while George was gone.
"He seems okay for a thief," Calisto said.

She stopped talking as George arrived. He sat down and handed them drinks. Calisto asked George how he had known about the spell on the necklace and soon they were deep in conversation. Alanna stopped listening after about five seconds and gazed up at the ceiling, thinking. Thom had said a close friend had expressed an interest in her. Who could it be and why her? There were so many other Ladies who wanted to get married and have children. Whoever it was that liked her had better stop liking her soon. If he didn't she could think of a lot of ways to get him to stop. Alanna grinned inwardly. She was just getting to the part of her plan where she inflicted a lot of pain on the unsuspecting knight when she felt someone poke her in the ribs.

"Ow! What was that for?" she asked looking over at Calisto who was the closest to her.
"Sorry. Look over there at there at that man sitting at the bar eating," Calisto said pointing to a really fat man sitting on a stool stuffing his face. "Isn't he just great."
"Yes. His eating habits are just excellent," Alanna said in awe as she saw the man get half the food he was eating on his clothes and face. He was grabbing his food with both hands and there were flecks of it stuck in his moustache and beard. George who was also looking over at the man seemed puzzled.

"Are we looking at the same person?" he asked. "'Cause the man I see just dropped half his food on the floor."
"I know he's so gross," Alanna said smiling.
George looked puzzled, "Then why are you so happy?"
"Its all part of our master plan," Calisto answered.
"Master plan? Do I really want to know?" George asked.

Alanna explained the pact they made at the convent. "And if we eat like the man at the bar then no one would ever want to marry us," she said gleefully.
"Yes, and it looks like we're going to have to implement our plan right away," Calisto put in.
"Why?" George asked.
" 'Cos someone's in luurve with Alanna. Thom told us the mystery man is very anxious to see her at the ball tonight. Thom's almost started sending out invitations to the wedding and thinking about colour schemes," Calisto said laughing, while Alanna glowered at her.

"That's it! We're leaving," Alanna said standing up and pulling Calisto out of her chair.
"But, but I'm having fun…and, and we can't leave yet," Calisto whined before noticing the look on Alanna's face. George waved at them as they left the inn hurriedly, trying to hide the smile on his face.

***

Alanna heard someone knocking at the door to her room. It was probably Thom; he'd said he'd escort her to the ball tonight. She checked her appearance in the mirror frowning at the long dark blue ball gown she had on. She would give anything to be wearing Thom's breeches again. Then she walked to the door and swung it open smiling. She was surprised to see not only Thom but Jonathan.

"You look nice. Doesn't she look nice Jonathan?" Thom asked. Jonathan nodded.
"Oh no. I do? I should go change," Alanna said dismayed.
"Don't be stupid," Thom sounded annoyed.
"Fine," Alanna said and reached for Thom's hand. Thom stepped back out of her reach.
"Maybe you should let Jonathan escort you to the ball," Thom said.
"That's okay I'm sure he has better things to do," Alanna said praying Jonathan would agree with her.
"I really wouldn't mind being your escort," Jonathan said smiling and taking her hand.

There was nothing Alanna could do but let herself get dragged along by Jonathan as they made their way to the ball. Jonathan was walking very close to her and once they were inside the ballroom Alanna stepped away quickly and looked around for Calisto who had decided to come to the ball earlier instead of waiting for Thom. She spotted her standing near Delia and flashing the necklace at her every once in a while. Delia was glaring at her hostilely, angry that her attempt at revenge had gone awry. Alanna suppressed a laugh and began to make her way over but was stopped by Jonathan.

"Alanna do you want to dance?" he asked.
"Okay," Alanna said smiling nervously. What was he up to? Why the sudden interest in her? Jonathan led Alanna onto the dance floor just as the orchestra began to play a very slow song. When the dance ended Alanna curtsied and was about to leave the dance floor when Jonathan grabbed her hand and went down on one knee. Everyone turned to watch them. Oh no! She had to stop him!

"Jonathan what are you doing?" Alanna asked distressed.
"Alanna I have something very important to tell you," Jonathan said taking a deep breath.
"Jonathan get up you're ruining your breeches," Alanna said hurriedly trying to stall him. Where was Calisto?

She looked around and spotted her making her way towards her but just as she reached the edge of the dance floor Thom intercepted her. Alanna was going to kill him when this was over. The crowd of people was edging closer, trying to see exactly what the prince was doing.

"Don't worry love, I have lots of breeches," Jonathan said not getting up.
"Well, you can never have too many breeches," Alanna said matter-of-factly.
"What I'm trying to say is…" he began but stopped as Alanna suddenly went into a coughing fit trying to create an excuse to leave.
"Oh my sweet darling are you alright?" the crowd gasped at Jonathan's endearment. Alanna looked around and blushed she hadn't noticed all the people watching. She stopped coughing hastily.

"I'm…I'm fine," Alanna stuttered.
"I know that we haven't known each other long," Jonathan said.
"Yes you're right. Only three days in fact," Alanna said trying to discourage him.
"But it's as if I've known you my whole life. You're witty, intelligent, talented and beautiful."

At this point Jonathan stopped; reaching into his pocket he pulled out a small, velvet covered box. Alanna stepped back. She would have run away if she could, but this was her prince. She couldn't insult him in such a way. With a resigned sigh she let him continue.

"You are also very gifted when it comes to magic. I've seen what you can do first hand and was very impressed. So I just want to say now. Please-don't- curse-me! This was Thom's idea!" Jonathan's sober expression was replaced by a grin. Alanna turned to Thom who was leaning against Calisto he was laughing so hard. Calisto's shoulders were shaking with suppressed laughter.

"When I'm done with you you're going to wish you were dead," Alanna said glaring fiercely.
"What? Your own brother?" Thom said gasping for air. "Not so stiff anymore am I?" he turned to Jonathan. "Thank you for pretending to like my sister."
"I didn't mind one bit," Jonathan said smiling to himself.

***