GETTING UNHITCHED

I'd like to state for the record that I do not own a copy of the books. As such there are bound to be plenty of canonical errors (as well as all the other regular kind). Feel free to correct, shout or laugh at me. This is pure fluff, except when its not. Roger doesn't exist in this story.
Hope you enjoy - plotless.
Disclaimer : I do not own any of Tamora Piece's characters or settings. I just like to sneak into her toybox and play with them once in a while.

Sorry I posted late. Problems with my phone line.

Thank you to:

Verasilyn, Mango Sam, imogenhm, nikki

Tebshichild: he Jon- Alanna-George situation will get more complicated in Chapter 8, Luthian Rhionnancat5: I agree, Eowyn is awesome, the pairing in this story is a secret, but feel free to speculate

maria: sorry to say, the pranks are almost at an end, things are getting more serious

thelastsilmaril: well Thom definitely had an evil (misguided evil) streak in the books, and he is Alanna's twin, so he has a wicked sense of humour too, just a better hidden one

Chapter 7

Alanna stepped out of her room and bumped into Calisto. She hadn't seen her for the past few days. Sometimes it seemed like she didn't even come back to her room at night.

"Hello, it's good to see you," Calisto said uncomfortably.

"Yeah, you too," Alanna answered noncommittally.

"So…where are you going?" Calisto bounced up and down on the balls of her feet.

"The inn probably," Alanna said. Then added as an afterthought, "Would you like to come?"

"Um…well I'm supposed to meet Thom but - " Calisto was interrupted by Alanna.

"Oh, never mind the" Alanna said disappointed. She should have known. Calisto didn't seem to have any time for her these days.

"- I have time to stop by for a while." She finished with a grin.

Alanna grinned back despite herself. She was never able to stay angry with Calisto for long. They started off down the corridor laughing and pushing each other. As they passed Lady Delia and some of her friends, Alanna ducked behind a suit of armour and decided to do a bit of eavesdropping.

"Have you heard?" Delia exclaimed.

Her friends crowded around her, "What?"

"Two new dashingly handsome young Lords have just arrived at the Palace." Delia supplied obviously loving the attention she was getting.

"Ooooh," the Ladies around her sighed.

"They're looking for wives too and they'll be at the ball tonight," Delia continued.

Alanna pressed her hand over her mouth suppressing a giggle. "Let's get out of here before those dashingly handsome Lords find us," she said in a high-pitched voice. They were still laughing as they left the palace heading towards the city and they didn't even notice Jonathan when they passed him.

***

Alanna and Calisto strode into the inn and looked around for George. They saw him sitting in a corner, walked over and collapsed into the seats opposite him.

"Calisto, Alanna. Good to see you again," George greeted them.

"Hello George," they said cheerfully.

"What can I do for you two?" he asked.

"Nothing. The palace was just boring as usual so we thought we'd stop by," Calisto said in a bored tone.

"Well, if you're looking to be entertained can I interest you in a game of cards," George grinned.

Alanna looked suspiciously at him, "What are the stakes?"

"Well, whatever you want them to be," George answered persuasively.

"We could play for drinks," Calisto smiled finally interested.

"Now I want to know more," George seemed intrigued.

"Every time you lose you drink a shot," Calisto explained.

"I didn't think you'd play that kind of game," George looked surprised.

Alanna finally spoke up, "We don't usually. I'm not really good when it comes to holding my alcohol," she said and at their disappointed faces she added, "But I'm really bored. So let the games begin."

Calisto and George cheered. George handed over the cards and Alanna dealt while George ordered three glasses and two pitchers of ale.

***

Thom burst into the squires' common area looking furious. Raoul, Gary and Jonathon looked up at him surprised.

"I thought you were supposed to be in the library with Calisto," Gary said drawing out Calisto's name.

"I am, but she didn't come," Thom stomped over to a couch and flopped down on it.

"Aaaw shame, your perfect date was ruined," Gary teased.

"Yes, I can just imagine it. Thom reaches for a book at the same time as Calisto. Their hands brush. They look up into each other's eyes adoringly and-" Raoul didn't get to finish because a pillow flew across the room and hit him square in the face. He threw the pillow back at Thom, who caught it and jumped on Gary who was on the floor laughing manically.

"Shut up! It's not funny," Thom raged. "I wonder where she is?"

"I think I might know," Jonathan said thoughtfully.

***

Thom's stare bore a hole in Jonathans back. Why was he even following his friend? They'd been walking for about half and hour and Jonathan still didn't seem to have a clue where they were going. Gary, conscientious as ever, had insisted that Jonathan go in disguise as it would not be safe for him in the city without a guard. Jonathan had then maintained that they all had to wear disguises if he did and the trio dressed as ordinary boys of the city not squires were all rather uncomfortable in clothes that did not fit correctly. 

Gary and Raoul were walking some distance behind Thom. They looked irritated and he could hear them muttering things best not repeated and dragging their feet.

He walked faster and caught up to Jonathan.

"Where are we going?" Thom asked.

Jonathan ignored him and instead turned to a man walking next to him, "Excuse me?" he said politely.

The man turned to him with a look of disgust, "What?"

"I was just wondering if you knew where the Dancing Dove is?" Jonathan asked even more politely.

Thom rolled his eyes and hissed, "Why didn't you ask for directions before?"

Jonathan ignored him again and looked inquiringly at the man who sniffed and pointed to an inn across the road.

"Are we there yet?" Gary and Raoul whined, catching up to them.

"Oh, come on," Jonathan said grumpily and walked across the street and into the inn. Thom, Gary and Raoul right behind him.

***

Alanna had really gotten into the game and didn't even notice Thom, Jonathan, Gary and Raoul walk into the inn until they were halfway across the room. She quickly grabbed George, pushed him under the table and warned him not to make a sound when he protested.

"Alanna what are you doing in here?" Thom asked when they arrived at the girls' table.

"Oh, we just came to the city to do a little shopping, I got some really good bargains, and afterwards we were so tired we had to stop of to have a little drink of water. Though I must say this place is rather odious," Alanna said in a posh, shrill voice.

Thom would have probably fallen for the act if Calisto hadn't spoiled it as usual.

She started to giggle uncontrollably, "Odious. What a funny word Alanna."

Thom looked at them suspiciously leaned over and picked up Alanna's drink, "This isn't water, its ale!" he cried accusingly.

"Is it really?! I had no idea! Let me taste to make sure." Alanna reached for her cup but Thom pulled it out of her reach. George who was still under the table snorted and Alanna pulled her foot back and booted him in the side.

"Ouch!" he yelled jumping up and hitting his head on the table.

Thom leaned over and picked up the edge of the tablecloth.

"Oh, don't mind me just washing the floor," George slurred, pulling the edge of the tablecloth back down.

This set Calisto off again, "Good one George, 'Washing the floor,'" she giggled hysterically.

Alanna glared at her, "I'm surrounded by idiots," she sighed knowing there was no way to keep her brother from finding out what they had been doing.

"I'm not an idiot," George said indignantly, crawling out from his hiding place. He also realised that they'd been caught and it was no use, besides he didn't want to get kicked again. He saw the prince and was about to bow but Jonathan shook his head furiously.

"Well, you might not be an idiot but explain her," Alanna pointed at Calisto who seemed to be giggling at some private joke.

"She sucks at cards," George said simply. He winced and rubbed his side gingerly.

"You, kick really hard," he moaned, sitting down.

"True," Alanna grinned, then caught Thom's eye. "Oh, right. Introductions." She turned to George, "George this is my brother Thom-" she said pointing to Thom George put out his hand but Thom was still glaring at them so he removed it quickly and nodded instead. "You know Jonathan already and lastly we have Raoul and Jonathan's cousin Gary." The men greeted each other.

"So, what are you doing here?" Alanna inquired.

"We were looking for you as a matter of fact," Thom said frostily.

"Why?" Alanna raised her eyebrows.

"Because Calisto missed their date," Gary and Raoul said simultaneously.

"I was just wondering where you were," Thom said while elbowing them.

"I was here playing cards," Alanna said.

"I was also playing cards," Calisto piped up.

"No, you've been losing at cards and getting drunk too early, as always," Alanna said.

"What about you?" Calisto pouted. "You're really drunk too."

"Well I have a right to be. We were on our fifth pitcher of ale," Alanna grinned, "George is also drunk."
"Am not," George said in a disgruntled voice. He looked blurrily up at Alanna who was sitting across the table from him, "Have I told you that I've never seen eyes like yours before? Purple is a beautiful colour."

"They're not purple. They're violet," Alanna said indignantly.

"No, they're light purple," Calisto put in.

"Violet and light purple are the same colour!!" Alanna screamed.

"Okay, okay," Calisto said grumpily as she tried to get out off her chair but ended up nearly falling over.

George caught her. "Maybe you should go lie down," he said looking concerned as he held her in his arms.

"Okay," she grinned. "Don't worry I already know the way to your room George," she added letting go of him. 

Alanna looked over at her brother as Calisto disappeared through a door next to the fireplace. He had a peculiar look on his face. Interesting. A long silence passed over them.  George tried to make small talk.

"We should go before someone notices Jonathan. It isn't safe for him to be here," Thom said suddenly. "Could you go get Calisto?" he asked George.

"Oh, don't worry Thom. I also know where George's room is," Alanna said brightly. Thom looked decidedly irritated.

Alanna scampered through the door and up the stairs to George's room laughing. She went inside grabbed Calisto by the arm and pulled her back down the stairs and out towards Thom.

"Alanna don't. I feel sick," Calisto moaned.

"You had to tell me that?" Alanna placed a hand over her mouth and rushed to the door Calisto behind her.

***

Alanna sat up in bed and looked around dazedly. The events of earlier came flooding back. She remembered getting really drunk. That would explain her pounding headache. She also remembered vomiting and Thom and his friends practically carrying them back to their rooms. She got up and walked into Calisto's room. She hoped her friend had a hangover remedy. Calisto was still asleep so Alanna got onto her bed and started jumping up and down. Calisto sat up holding her head.

"Alanna. What are you doing?" she groaned.

"Trying to wake you up," Alanna got of the bed and looked at her friend. She seemed to be worse off.

"This is all your fault, you shouldn't have suggested we play that game."

"What do you want?" Calisto asked.

"Some hangover remedy. Though it seems like you need it more than me," Alanna looked at her concerned, "You got really drunk didn't you."

"Of course I got really drunk," Calisto said irritably. "I'm the one who sucks at cards unlike you Miss Cheerful."

"Touchy!!" Alanna grinned, "Just give me the headache remedy. We have to get ready for the ball tonight."

"What?" Calisto looked horrified. "Did you just suggest we start getting ready for a ball?"

"Yes. We need to take extra time and effort because of those new Lords," Alanna said knowing Calisto would get the wrong idea.

Calisto stared at her disbelievingly

"Are you still drunk?" she asked cautiously.

"No," Alanna tried not to smile.

"Why do we need to take extra time and effort because of those Lords?" Calisto asked uncertainly.

"Well, since they don't know us like the rest of the Lords, who have realised that they shouldn't come within ten metres radius of us, we have to make ourselves really unapproachable. Why? What did you think?" Alanna asked grinning.

"Never mind," Calisto got out of bed walked over to her cupboard and drew out a bottle and two cups. She poured some of the liquid into the cups and handed one to Alanna. Alanna looked at the vomit coloured substance inside and sniffed apprehensively. It smelt all right. She raised the glass slowly saying a silent prayer, downed whatever was inside it and gagged. Now she knew why she hated drinking.

"Ugh! What was that?" she asked Calisto who was making a face that was probably similar to hers right then.

"I can't remember what I put in it and even if I did remember you probably wouldn't want to know but your headache is gone, isn't it?" Calisto looked at her inquiringly.

"Yes," Alanna mumbled, "Come on lets go make ourselves look exceptionally ugly."

***

An hour later Alanna and Calisto stared at themselves in a full-length mirror, that Calisto had conjured, in satisfaction. They had gone all out this time and used every one of their emergency supplies. They had even gone as far as wearing pink, frilly dresses with huge pink bows in their hair that looked horrendous with their colouring. They had put their makeup on without looking in the mirror and now stared at their faces in awe. They were just smudging their makeup a little more when Thom walked in. He stared at them in horror for a moment before he finally spoke.

"Um…you two look………interesting," he said in a strangled voice before clearing his throat.

"Thanks Thom. It took us an hour to get ready. We really tried to look our best," Alanna said brightly.

Thom's face fell and Alanna knew he wouldn't say anything about their appearance. He was a good brother, she thought smiling, which also meant he was very easy to manipulate. Thom waved his hands at them and said, "Let's go!"

Alanna and Calisto followed Thom to the hall arm in arm. As they reached the people lined up at the door and waiting to enter they grinned evilly at each other anticipating the looks of horror they would soon be receiving. But instead of staring at them in repulsion, the Lords stared at them in admiration and the Ladies with envy. Alanna and Calisto looked at each other surprised. What was going on with these people? They turned and made their way to a mirror mounted on the wall near them and gaped. They looked perfect. What happened to their pink dresses and bows, their untidy hair and smudged make up? Alanna now wore an elegant navy blue dress and Calisto a forest green one, their makeup was flawless and looked natural and their hair was tied back by matching silver hair clips. Alanna spotted Thom in the mirror. He was standing behind them grinning.

"What have you done?" she asked, turning, nauseated by her appearance.

"Me?" he asked in mock surprise. "I haven't done anything."

Alanna looked at him disbelievingly. He had obviously placed a spell on them to change their appearances. Alanna was about to turn and run back to her room but the line of people in front of them had depleted and their names were already being announced. Thom caught them each by the arm and dragged them down the stairs and into the ballroom.

"Thom you don't understand. You can't do this," Alanna protested yanking her arm out of his. She turned to Calisto, "Can't you fix it?" she asked desperately.

"Of course I can," Calisto said grinning. She lifted her hand pointed it at Alanna and muttered a spell.

Alanna looked in the mirror behind them. She still looked perfect. She turned to Calisto whose grin had faded. Calisto raised her hand and muttered something again.

Thom stood looking over her shoulder grinning, "Looks like your spells aren't working," he said happily.

"What?" Calisto looked lost.

"A shame really. I guess you've lost you touch," Thom went on patronisingly.

"Oh, be quiet," Calisto said angrily and raised her arm there was a flash and then…nothing, their dresses looked the same. Thom's grin widened.

"Since you're already here, you might as well enjoy yourselves and dance," Thom said and was moving towards Calisto when two Lords approached them.

"May we have the honour of dancing with such fine Ladies?" they said and held out their arms. 

"Why of course," Calisto said brightly while glaring at Thom. "You did say that we should enjoy ourselves, didn't you Thom?"

"Huh?" Alanna was confused.

Calisto took the man on the right's outstretched hand. Alanna took the man on the lefts hand still puzzled. Weren't they supposed to be trying to ward off Lords?

***

After being forced to dance almost every dance and listen to Lord Dick and Lord Harry's boring voices all night long, Alanna and Calisto were getting desperate. No matter what they said they couldn't get rid of the two Lords. Calisto leaned over to her still smiling at the Lords and hissed between her teeth, "I'm sick and tired of Thom, Dick and Harry." {A/N I know, I know. It's a cheap joke. I couldn't help myself}

"This is all your fault," Alanna hissed back.

"We need to get rid of them," Calisto said.

Alanna's hands balled into fists as she pretended to laugh at one of their stupid jokes. She never thought she'd ever pretend to laugh at someone's joke.

Alanna around the ballroom with eyes slightly glazed as she tried to tune out Lord Harry's nasal while. She recognised a familiar face, someone she hadn't seen since childhood, Tristan of Helmsbury whose lands were adjacent to Trebond. He caught her gaze and nodded to her. Alanna curtsied in reply and was about to excuse herself and Calisto, almost certain that conversation with Tristan would be more interesting than the self praise of the Lord Harry when he suddenly grabbed her arm and pulled her onto the dance floor. Alanna noticed that Lord Dick had done the same with Calisto.

"The only way we could get rid of them is by burning down this hall," Alanna muttered to Calisto irritably after the dance.

"Alanna that's a brilliant idea," Calisto grinned.

"What? I was joking!" Alanna said alarmed.

Calisto's grin widened, "We won't really set it on fire. We'll just make an illusion of the fire. There might be a slight problem; Thom cast some sort of spell to prevent me from using my Gift. I can feel it wearing off now, though. I'm sure I'll be able to cast."

Alanna looked at Dick and Harry. She was desperate, "Fine."

Somehow she knew she was going to regret this she thought as she watched Calisto mutter something.

"Ok, go," Calisto whispered.

"Fire!" they screamed and ran all the way across the room and out the door.  Grinning at each other they waited for the shrieks of fear and horror. They stood outside the door and waited and waited. Eventually people began to slowly emerge from the hall, they were muttering to one another and some were shaking their heads but none seemed exceptionally concerned. Perplexed, Alanna and Calisto walked back into the room. Alanna looked around in disbelief.

She rounded on Calisto furiously, "Green fire!" she shrieked.

"I didn't mean to!," Calisto looked down at the floor, "Its Thom's fault, my Gift is all wacky!"

***

 {A/N Next week on GU: a big surprise for Alanna}