A/N Well the weekend is here and I don't have any big plans, so that
means I'm hoping to bang out at least 5 more chapters this weekend. I'm
just having so much fun writing this story that I can't seem to stop.
I'm also absconding with a laptop from work this weekend so I can write
while going out and enjoying the (hopefully nice) weather.
A/N 2: Thanks to all who've reviewed the story so far (all the chapters). I know I haven't been much for mentioning specific people except in a few cases; rest assured I will be listing everyone who's given feedback in the afterward to be included at the end of the story (along with some explanations about things and some teasers for the next part of the story).
A/N 3: Harm's Dream. I'm planning on writing a spin off story that is Harm's Dream...so for those of you who are curious as to what exactly his dream entails, it will be forthcoming.
Chapter 19
USS Patrick Henry
Saturday June 19, 2004
0915 Zulu
In the two days since he'd seen Mac Harm had been walking around with a "big goofy grin" as Skates was calling it. He just couldn't help it...after the last year and all the awkwardness and strain that their relationship had been under he was finally starting to feel good about where he and Mac were heading. He valued her friendship more than anything outside of his relationship with Mattie and he'd just been too blind to see what needed to be done. Glancing at the clock on his computer Harm thought he'd check to see what email had come in...he'd been a little wary of reading anymore email after getting the last blistering lecture via Mattie's most recent email. His ward was extremely vocal about the worry he'd caused her. Apparently Mac had kept in touch with her during his confinement to keep her apprised of everything that was going on. He'd also learned that Jen and Mattie had been relocated to the Roberts residence by a very worried Harriet.
Double clicking on the icon to start his email program Harm was somewhat shocked to see that he only had one email, and this one was from Mac. Clicking on the little envelope to open the message he couldn't help but feel his grin grow even bigger when he read it.
We're back in DC early this morning, Bud has now been recruited into watching over your daughters by Auntie Harriet. The Admiral's Dining Out has been planned for next Saturday, wish you were here. What anniversary? – Mac
Smiling Harm clicked on the reply button and started a quick email of his own.
Happy you and the Admiral and Bud made it back. A Dining Out? Who's the Master Vice? Make sure that 'Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud' know that I want my daughters back when I come home; they'll probably try to adopt them behind my back. See you when I get home. – Harm
Glancing over the email before he sent he it off he grinned when he thought of Mac's reaction to him deliberately ignoring her question about the anniversary. He knew that she knew he wasn't answering it just to irritate her. Chuckling he clicked on the button to send the email off and then got down to work. Yesterday the Captain had put the crew through their paces by simulating an attack on the ship. Half his flyers had been up playing aggressors and half were defenders. While in the most part both teams had done well, Harm had some plans for pushing his people a little harder. He had to be careful though...too much of an edge can be as bad as not working hard enough. He didn't want to tire his people out when they were needed most.
Leaning back in his chair Harm pinched the bridge of his nose before he realized he was unconsciously mimicking the Admiral. With a wry chuckle Harm went back to easing the pressure he felt building up into a minor headache. Maybe this was why he'd put off looking for a command position until now. A headache and it wasn't even 1000 hours. Standing up Harm stepped out from behind his desk and decided he'd head to vulture's row for a bit. Exiting his office Harm made his up to the tower to make his way out to one of his favorite spots on the ship. Casually he returned the salutes that were given to him by the crew members he passed on the way, stopping to chat with those who he'd gotten to know over the weeks he'd been on board, plus his last tour here.
Half an hour later he was standing with his arms folded over the rail watching the incoming Cats trap. As much as he wasn't sure if the deck of a carrier was where he belonged anymore, he had to admit there weren't many places he'd rather be than on a carrier watching the traps, the sunlight off the waves, the ocean open before them. There were only two things missing and he felt their absence acutely. He knew Mattie was going to kill him when he got home...she'd promised it in her emails, and he had no doubt she was going to try and make good on her threats; especially since she'd assured him that Mac would probably help her get ready. 'If he wasn't careful, Mac was going to turn a perfectly good Navy prospect into a Marine' Harm thought to himself with a smile.
He heard the hatch bang open and glanced over his shoulder down the stretch of deck to see the Skipper step out onto the row. Looking towards him the Skipper gave a brief nod and then moved towards him. Harm looked back down to the deck and saw them move a Cat into position in the port catapult.
"Skipper." Harm said with a nod. Ingles was a good man; Harm respected him almost as much as he did the Admiral.
"CAG. Nice day for flying; thought you'd be up today."
"I'd love to be Skipper, but this job you found for me when I came on board has too much paperwork. Almost like being a lawyer." Harm said with a short laugh. "Needed some air to clear my head I've been staring at so many forms."
Smiling, the Skipper stood beside Harm and watched the prepped Cat blast off the deck. "Your kids are good CAG, better even than Keeter had them. Don't get me wrong, Keeter's a good man, good CAG. But you've got something about you CAG...the kids respond to it like nothing I've seen before."
"Thank you sir." Harm said simply. Wasn't much he could say to that.
"They're going to miss you when you're abbreviated tour is done."
"We've had word on Keeter?" Harm asked, wondering where the Skipper was going with this.
Nodding the Skipper squinted into the sunlight. "He's been released from Bethesda. Sounds like he's doing well. Docs figure two months."
"That's good Skipper. Keeter's a good man as you said sir. Its tough on him not to be flying I'm sure."
For a moment the Skipper just looked out into the waves and sunlight. "I'm sure it is CAG." He finally said. With a deep sigh he turned to look at Harm. "I watched you walk off this ship once CAG, its going to be a shame to see you do it again. You know you belong with us Harm...you belong where you are, doing what you are doing."
"I'm honored you feel that way Skipper." Harm said honestly.
"What I'm trying to say Harm, is if you decide that you'd like to extend your billet here...perhaps something could be arranged. If you decided to not return to JAG that is."
"Not sure I could step back into the ranks sir. I know it's just a temp duty sir...but I've had a taste of the CAG's dinner so to speak."
"I know that Harm...you don't belong in the ranks. You belong at the front, right where you are."
"Thank you sir, but as we both know, Keeter will be returning in time."
"Yes he will be Harm. But other ships need CAGs as well. As much as I'd hate to lose you, I'm sure I could find something for you."
"Skipper...I don't know what to say." Harm said honestly. As touched as he was by the Skipper's offer, his thoughts about how he didn't really belong on a carrier anymore were still fresh in his mind.
Reaching up Ingles placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You don't have to make a decision yet Harm. But you know there are a lot of people who are willing to make this happen. Any man who case nose a wounded bird to safety belongs where we are."
Nodding Harm turned to look back out over the waves. He smiled wryly to himself...well at least his life was rarely boring.
Patting the younger man's shoulder Ingles stepped back and made his way back to the hatch to give Harm time alone to think.
Harm barely even noticed the Skipper's departure as he thought on his words. He loved flying...he could never stop that. The thrill of shooting off a deck propelled by the cats was unlike anything else Harm had ever experienced....some things came really close...but not much was better. The bond that a squadron of pilots shared...that was something else Harm had never felt anywhere else. Sure, his friends at JAG were almost family...some even as close as one could come without blood. He couldn't help but think of Bud as his younger brother...he always had. And from what he remembered of his father, the Admiral was a good stand in for that job. Jen was as much his daughter as Mattie was...they joked about it...but they both knew the other felt the same way. But there was something about the group of men and women who faced death together every day that forged a bond unlike any other. Now that he was back, could Harm ever really give it up again? As Harm stood there lost in thought it came to him that he knew the answer. He could never accept the Skipper's offer, no matter how much he might want to, no matter how much he appreciated it. The reason for this floated in his mind, sharp enough that he could actually see it, floating above the waves. A smiling face framed by curly auburn curls with sparkling mischievous hazel eyes. He'd just found Mattie...he couldn't leave her now. This half rotation was hard enough, what would six months out over twelve be like? In his mind's eye he saw another face, behind Mattie's. Someone else he wasn't ready to leave behind, not this time, never again. Soft brown hair framed the deep brown eyes he longed to lose himself in for an eternity and more. He and Mac needed to find a way to make it work as he'd told the Admiral when he'd made much the same offer the Skipper was making.
Stepping back Harm turned to head back inside and stopped again. For the first time in a long time someone had come up on him and he hadn't heard them. Halfway down the row Meg stood leaning against the rail much as Harm had just been. Walking down the row he stopped beside her and leaned against the rail again.
"Meg."
"Harm."
"Just up for the view?"
"Went by your office and couldn't find you there or in the ready room. I thought I'd find you up here. Just wanted to say goodbye, but you didn't answer when I came up, and you looked so thoughtful I didn't want to interrupt you."
"Thank you for that Meg. There were some things I needed to work out in my mind. Wait a minute...goodbye?"
Smiling, Meg looked over at her onetime partner. "Picked up on that, did you? Yeah...I got word that the real replacement weapons officer is on his way out on tomorrow morning's Cod. I'm leaving when it heads back."
"Your investigation is done then?"
"No...its just leading me somewhere else. Listen Harm, I think what happened to you is connected to what I'm following...watch your six, please?"
"What do you mean?"
"I...."
"You can't tell me. Right...need to know. You sure you never met Clayton Webb?"
"I'm sorry Harm...I wish I could tell you. All I can say is that while I think you're going to be alright here, there are no guarantees. Just ask Riley about that." Meg said bitterly.
"How long did you know each other?"
"Four years. He was my senior partner when I got tapped for Naval Intelligence. Showed me everything I know." Meg said solemnly as she started out at the waves.
"I'm sorry Meg...I know it sounds trite, but I really am."
"Thanks Harm." Meg said quietly after a moment. Over all the normal noises associated with a ship at sea Harm could barely hear her.
Something struck Harm as he watched Meg stand there lost in her own thoughts. "Meg?"
"Yeah?"
"When you were in DC...was it because of your case?" Harm asked intently.
"Partly. But I really did want to see you again Harm...I've thought about you a lot over the years."
Smiling at her, Harm couldn't help but be flattered. Any man would be if a beautiful woman had admitted to thinking about him.
"Harm?" Meg said hesitantly.
"Meg." Harm answered.
Biting her lip Meg looked closely at Harm before she answered. With a deep breathe she plunged on. "Harm...everything I said...I meant it Harm. I just wanted you to know that."
Raising an eyebrow Harm stood there for a minute, trying to think of what he should say. Before he could answer her Meg turned around and walked back to the hatch. When she had it opened she stopped and looked back at him. "Watch your six Harm...I'd hate to lose you again." And then she was gone, and Harm still hadn't said goodbye to her. It wasn't until he turned back to watch out over the deck again that it struck Harm how similar Meg's last words were to what Mac had said to him.
A/N 2: Thanks to all who've reviewed the story so far (all the chapters). I know I haven't been much for mentioning specific people except in a few cases; rest assured I will be listing everyone who's given feedback in the afterward to be included at the end of the story (along with some explanations about things and some teasers for the next part of the story).
A/N 3: Harm's Dream. I'm planning on writing a spin off story that is Harm's Dream...so for those of you who are curious as to what exactly his dream entails, it will be forthcoming.
Chapter 19
USS Patrick Henry
Saturday June 19, 2004
0915 Zulu
In the two days since he'd seen Mac Harm had been walking around with a "big goofy grin" as Skates was calling it. He just couldn't help it...after the last year and all the awkwardness and strain that their relationship had been under he was finally starting to feel good about where he and Mac were heading. He valued her friendship more than anything outside of his relationship with Mattie and he'd just been too blind to see what needed to be done. Glancing at the clock on his computer Harm thought he'd check to see what email had come in...he'd been a little wary of reading anymore email after getting the last blistering lecture via Mattie's most recent email. His ward was extremely vocal about the worry he'd caused her. Apparently Mac had kept in touch with her during his confinement to keep her apprised of everything that was going on. He'd also learned that Jen and Mattie had been relocated to the Roberts residence by a very worried Harriet.
Double clicking on the icon to start his email program Harm was somewhat shocked to see that he only had one email, and this one was from Mac. Clicking on the little envelope to open the message he couldn't help but feel his grin grow even bigger when he read it.
We're back in DC early this morning, Bud has now been recruited into watching over your daughters by Auntie Harriet. The Admiral's Dining Out has been planned for next Saturday, wish you were here. What anniversary? – Mac
Smiling Harm clicked on the reply button and started a quick email of his own.
Happy you and the Admiral and Bud made it back. A Dining Out? Who's the Master Vice? Make sure that 'Auntie Harriet and Uncle Bud' know that I want my daughters back when I come home; they'll probably try to adopt them behind my back. See you when I get home. – Harm
Glancing over the email before he sent he it off he grinned when he thought of Mac's reaction to him deliberately ignoring her question about the anniversary. He knew that she knew he wasn't answering it just to irritate her. Chuckling he clicked on the button to send the email off and then got down to work. Yesterday the Captain had put the crew through their paces by simulating an attack on the ship. Half his flyers had been up playing aggressors and half were defenders. While in the most part both teams had done well, Harm had some plans for pushing his people a little harder. He had to be careful though...too much of an edge can be as bad as not working hard enough. He didn't want to tire his people out when they were needed most.
Leaning back in his chair Harm pinched the bridge of his nose before he realized he was unconsciously mimicking the Admiral. With a wry chuckle Harm went back to easing the pressure he felt building up into a minor headache. Maybe this was why he'd put off looking for a command position until now. A headache and it wasn't even 1000 hours. Standing up Harm stepped out from behind his desk and decided he'd head to vulture's row for a bit. Exiting his office Harm made his up to the tower to make his way out to one of his favorite spots on the ship. Casually he returned the salutes that were given to him by the crew members he passed on the way, stopping to chat with those who he'd gotten to know over the weeks he'd been on board, plus his last tour here.
Half an hour later he was standing with his arms folded over the rail watching the incoming Cats trap. As much as he wasn't sure if the deck of a carrier was where he belonged anymore, he had to admit there weren't many places he'd rather be than on a carrier watching the traps, the sunlight off the waves, the ocean open before them. There were only two things missing and he felt their absence acutely. He knew Mattie was going to kill him when he got home...she'd promised it in her emails, and he had no doubt she was going to try and make good on her threats; especially since she'd assured him that Mac would probably help her get ready. 'If he wasn't careful, Mac was going to turn a perfectly good Navy prospect into a Marine' Harm thought to himself with a smile.
He heard the hatch bang open and glanced over his shoulder down the stretch of deck to see the Skipper step out onto the row. Looking towards him the Skipper gave a brief nod and then moved towards him. Harm looked back down to the deck and saw them move a Cat into position in the port catapult.
"Skipper." Harm said with a nod. Ingles was a good man; Harm respected him almost as much as he did the Admiral.
"CAG. Nice day for flying; thought you'd be up today."
"I'd love to be Skipper, but this job you found for me when I came on board has too much paperwork. Almost like being a lawyer." Harm said with a short laugh. "Needed some air to clear my head I've been staring at so many forms."
Smiling, the Skipper stood beside Harm and watched the prepped Cat blast off the deck. "Your kids are good CAG, better even than Keeter had them. Don't get me wrong, Keeter's a good man, good CAG. But you've got something about you CAG...the kids respond to it like nothing I've seen before."
"Thank you sir." Harm said simply. Wasn't much he could say to that.
"They're going to miss you when you're abbreviated tour is done."
"We've had word on Keeter?" Harm asked, wondering where the Skipper was going with this.
Nodding the Skipper squinted into the sunlight. "He's been released from Bethesda. Sounds like he's doing well. Docs figure two months."
"That's good Skipper. Keeter's a good man as you said sir. Its tough on him not to be flying I'm sure."
For a moment the Skipper just looked out into the waves and sunlight. "I'm sure it is CAG." He finally said. With a deep sigh he turned to look at Harm. "I watched you walk off this ship once CAG, its going to be a shame to see you do it again. You know you belong with us Harm...you belong where you are, doing what you are doing."
"I'm honored you feel that way Skipper." Harm said honestly.
"What I'm trying to say Harm, is if you decide that you'd like to extend your billet here...perhaps something could be arranged. If you decided to not return to JAG that is."
"Not sure I could step back into the ranks sir. I know it's just a temp duty sir...but I've had a taste of the CAG's dinner so to speak."
"I know that Harm...you don't belong in the ranks. You belong at the front, right where you are."
"Thank you sir, but as we both know, Keeter will be returning in time."
"Yes he will be Harm. But other ships need CAGs as well. As much as I'd hate to lose you, I'm sure I could find something for you."
"Skipper...I don't know what to say." Harm said honestly. As touched as he was by the Skipper's offer, his thoughts about how he didn't really belong on a carrier anymore were still fresh in his mind.
Reaching up Ingles placed his hand on the younger man's shoulder. "You don't have to make a decision yet Harm. But you know there are a lot of people who are willing to make this happen. Any man who case nose a wounded bird to safety belongs where we are."
Nodding Harm turned to look back out over the waves. He smiled wryly to himself...well at least his life was rarely boring.
Patting the younger man's shoulder Ingles stepped back and made his way back to the hatch to give Harm time alone to think.
Harm barely even noticed the Skipper's departure as he thought on his words. He loved flying...he could never stop that. The thrill of shooting off a deck propelled by the cats was unlike anything else Harm had ever experienced....some things came really close...but not much was better. The bond that a squadron of pilots shared...that was something else Harm had never felt anywhere else. Sure, his friends at JAG were almost family...some even as close as one could come without blood. He couldn't help but think of Bud as his younger brother...he always had. And from what he remembered of his father, the Admiral was a good stand in for that job. Jen was as much his daughter as Mattie was...they joked about it...but they both knew the other felt the same way. But there was something about the group of men and women who faced death together every day that forged a bond unlike any other. Now that he was back, could Harm ever really give it up again? As Harm stood there lost in thought it came to him that he knew the answer. He could never accept the Skipper's offer, no matter how much he might want to, no matter how much he appreciated it. The reason for this floated in his mind, sharp enough that he could actually see it, floating above the waves. A smiling face framed by curly auburn curls with sparkling mischievous hazel eyes. He'd just found Mattie...he couldn't leave her now. This half rotation was hard enough, what would six months out over twelve be like? In his mind's eye he saw another face, behind Mattie's. Someone else he wasn't ready to leave behind, not this time, never again. Soft brown hair framed the deep brown eyes he longed to lose himself in for an eternity and more. He and Mac needed to find a way to make it work as he'd told the Admiral when he'd made much the same offer the Skipper was making.
Stepping back Harm turned to head back inside and stopped again. For the first time in a long time someone had come up on him and he hadn't heard them. Halfway down the row Meg stood leaning against the rail much as Harm had just been. Walking down the row he stopped beside her and leaned against the rail again.
"Meg."
"Harm."
"Just up for the view?"
"Went by your office and couldn't find you there or in the ready room. I thought I'd find you up here. Just wanted to say goodbye, but you didn't answer when I came up, and you looked so thoughtful I didn't want to interrupt you."
"Thank you for that Meg. There were some things I needed to work out in my mind. Wait a minute...goodbye?"
Smiling, Meg looked over at her onetime partner. "Picked up on that, did you? Yeah...I got word that the real replacement weapons officer is on his way out on tomorrow morning's Cod. I'm leaving when it heads back."
"Your investigation is done then?"
"No...its just leading me somewhere else. Listen Harm, I think what happened to you is connected to what I'm following...watch your six, please?"
"What do you mean?"
"I...."
"You can't tell me. Right...need to know. You sure you never met Clayton Webb?"
"I'm sorry Harm...I wish I could tell you. All I can say is that while I think you're going to be alright here, there are no guarantees. Just ask Riley about that." Meg said bitterly.
"How long did you know each other?"
"Four years. He was my senior partner when I got tapped for Naval Intelligence. Showed me everything I know." Meg said solemnly as she started out at the waves.
"I'm sorry Meg...I know it sounds trite, but I really am."
"Thanks Harm." Meg said quietly after a moment. Over all the normal noises associated with a ship at sea Harm could barely hear her.
Something struck Harm as he watched Meg stand there lost in her own thoughts. "Meg?"
"Yeah?"
"When you were in DC...was it because of your case?" Harm asked intently.
"Partly. But I really did want to see you again Harm...I've thought about you a lot over the years."
Smiling at her, Harm couldn't help but be flattered. Any man would be if a beautiful woman had admitted to thinking about him.
"Harm?" Meg said hesitantly.
"Meg." Harm answered.
Biting her lip Meg looked closely at Harm before she answered. With a deep breathe she plunged on. "Harm...everything I said...I meant it Harm. I just wanted you to know that."
Raising an eyebrow Harm stood there for a minute, trying to think of what he should say. Before he could answer her Meg turned around and walked back to the hatch. When she had it opened she stopped and looked back at him. "Watch your six Harm...I'd hate to lose you again." And then she was gone, and Harm still hadn't said goodbye to her. It wasn't until he turned back to watch out over the deck again that it struck Harm how similar Meg's last words were to what Mac had said to him.