DISCLAIMER: I do not own any of the characters in this story expect Tristis, Astoria, Maaya, & Masako. They all belong to Rumiko Takahashi, I just borrowed them.


AUTHOR'S NOTE: *blushes* Thank you *SO* much for the reviews for chapter seven! Wow, I can't believe I got so many and such lovely reviews for that chapter alone. Also I'm sorry for two things. One I'm sorry for ending where I did, that was kind of cruel. I promise I'll try to try not to end chapters like that any time soon. Secondly I'm sorry for taking so long with this chapter. I had such a hard time deciding what to reveal in this chapter and what to save for later. As you can tell I rely on flashbacks a lot for this story and a lot more are coming, mostly for Sessy. I'm going to give you my version of Sesshoumaru & Inuyasha's hatred, Fluffy's mother and her death, Inuyasha's mother, & of course more info on Rin & Sesshoumaru. Ok I can't say anymore! Enjoy and please review!! I love to hear comments on this story.



Chapter Eight- Beginnings of the Past

"Lord Sesshoumaru shouldn't we stop for the night? It's getting very dark and Ah-un needs to rest."

He wanted to snapped that they would continue on through the night. They had done so before but one look at Ah-un made him nod his consent. It wasn't that Sesshoumaru cared about the tired beast or even Jaken. The only reason he agreed to stop was that Rin cared about the two stupid creatures that followed him.

Two days had past since he heard the cry in his mind. It unnerved him to think that she might actually be hurt. He prayed it was only a lucky demon that got the best of her and not anything else. 'She's fine. She's much stronger than she lets on.'

His mind was sent reeling thinking of the consequences he had brought on himself as well as Rin. He hadn't really meant to tell Astoria he was getting his mate. It somehow rolled off his tongue, like a reflex.

Never had he planned to follow in his father's footsteps. Too much pain had came from that path. Yet he had allowed his human to be the mother of his pups. She had carried three of them and for both their sakes he hoped she could keep the fourth one.

~*Flashback*~

Rin had been as clueless about her first pregnancy as she had been when her monthly cycles had begun. Living with two male demons and never having much contact with females of any type did have it's disadvantages. However not having her cycles and the slight weight gain hadn't fazed her in the least.

Sesshoumaru had noticed the changes but didn't comment on it. He didn't really care about it any way. The only thing he gave a second thought about was that the weight gain would interfere with her duties as his exterminator.

The two were laying together peacefully on a small bed in a room that was hidden between the walls of his castle. Due to his family's status they required several hidden rooms that only the most trusted servants had knowledge of. There was a small room behind his own and there he had Jaken bring her to him every night for a year and half now.

He said his goodbyes to her before Jaken led her back to her room through a different passage way from his own. Their rooms joined together, Sesshoumaru had felt the need to have her close by when she was a small child, however he never took her back himself. Too many chances of him taking her into his room or him staying in hers. It was better that they only met in their private room.

It was nearly dawn and as he made his way back to his chambers he heard a scream. He let a worried expression slip on his face before quickly making his way to a pain stricken Rin. Without asking he picked her up and put her into her bed. After putting her down his eyes slightly widen to see his usual spotless white robes were now stained with blood. Rin's blood.

She gasped at seeing the offending liquid spilling from her legs. For the first time in a long time fear played in her eyes as she looked at the confused demon. His eyes soon mirrored her fear as the young woman clutched at her stomach and began to scream.

"What's going on? This can't be one of my cycles. It's never been this painful..."

Sesshoumaru ran out of the room and grabbed Jaken, who now stood in the unknown doorway with a horrified expression. "Go to the human village that's nearby. Get their priestess and tell her if she doesn't accompany you back here I'll no longer protect the village with my presence. Be quick about it Jaken or I will not hesitate to rid you from sight."

The toad gulped and ran out of the castle as fast he could. Rin moaned quietly and with that he made his way to his servant's quarters. Many of them had been with his father but that didn't mean he trusted them. Still, Rin was in pain and needed a female. Even if only a demon was available at the time.

'The things I do for the women in my life.' he thought.

He woke Masako, a cat demon that had worked for his family since he could remember. At first she had been a bit frightened to see him in her room so early in the morning but silenced her fears once she saw his eyes. She hadn't seen so much expression in them since he was very a young pup. Before his father started to leave for months on end.

The demon lord quietly told her Rin had fallen ill and needed a female near her. Usually Jaken took care of her but since the small human had blossomed into womanhood Sesshoumaru had her tend to her needs. Despite all his knowledge he was ignorant of the things women went through, especially human women.

The female demon almost gagged at the overwhelming scent of blood. But her concern for the human overpowered that, along with the now scared dog demon behind her. Rin gave a small smile, "I'm sorry to wake you Masako."

"It's always a pleasure to serve you Lady Rin. What has happened?"

She tried to sit up but winced at the shooting pain again. "I don't know... I just started to bleed and it just hurts.."

Sesshoumaru couldn't take it any longer. He once again left the room and announced to the servants that all work was suspended and no one was to go near Rin's room. The next few hours were spent sitting on the floor next to her room, waiting. Somewhere during that time Jaken had returned with the village's old priestess.

The day had begun its journey back into darkness as he heard weeping and gentle whispers. He stood as the door opened with a very tired looking priestess leaving the room. "Follow me Lord Sesshoumaru, we must talk."

Despite his annoyed feelings of being ordered around he did as she said. They stopped in what was once his mother's drawing room. Many a time he had sat beside her as she happily painted one of her many paintings. His patience had almost completely left him by that time. "Tell me, what is wrong with her?"

"As you known she is a woman and as a woman things begin to happen."

"Stop wasting my time you old hag. Tell me what happened to her."

A sigh left the old woman. "To put it simply she lost the child she was carrying."

After only receiving a very confused look from the normally composed demon she continued. "I see, you didn't know of his existence just as she didn't."

"He?"

"The child she was carrying was male. Your servant is wrapping him up and awaiting for you to decide what to do with it. Your mate is very scared and probably will be crying for quite some time. Her health will return to normal very soon but she needs rest. I shall return to my village, if anything else happens send for me."

After she had left he returned to Rin's room, only to see Masako with a small bundle in one arm and a dazed Rin in the other. "Leave us and say nothing."

The long time servant put the bundle down on the bed and quickly ran out. Sesshoumaru sat next to her, not knowing what to do. The woman sat staring at her wall before she muttered, "I didn't know... How couldn't I have known?"

"I kept you away from your kind, away from females. It wasn't your fault."

"That," she pointed to the bundle a foot away from them. "That was my child. I saw it. He had a long tail like yours."

He let his hand take one of hers. "You'll have others."

"No I won't. The woman said my body can't handle it. I'll never be able to hold a baby in my arms the way I did with my dolls."

~*End Flashback*~

Rin carried two more of Sesshoumaru's pups but lost them before she could give birth. It had devastated her as well as her lover but neither would show their pain. The price of emotions were too high for them. No one knew of their true relationship beside Jaken, Masako, the local priestess, and now Astoria. Neither would have breathed a word about it but now Rin was with child once more.

'I'll be there soon.'

******************************************************************************

"Aunt Rin! Mommy said you're supposed to stay in bed until she gets back! You might not have your baby if you don't rest."

The pregnant exterminator didn't even turn to face the determined pup. After her hostess had disappeared to her native village she ran out to the field she had sat in three days earlier. It was there that her charge tried to make her feel guilty. "I only answer to Lord Sesshoumaru and as an exterminator too much rest irritates me."

"But Aunt Sango is one too and all she does now is rest," said Tristis.

"Tristis please get your sword and practice the what I've taught you so far."

"Ok but I still say you should go back to bed. Daddy says so too even though you really made him mad. How come you yelled at him and why did he go sleep in that old tree for the past two nights?"

Rin shrugged, still not looking at the boy. "He is an odd creature. Away with you Tristis, you'll never reach your full potential if you waste your time lecturing me."

"Yes Aunt Rin!"

With that he left her with her thoughts. Something she didn't want to deal with. Sesshoumaru would have her head when he learned of her mistakes. Uncharacteristically she showed an array of emotions and let not only her past but their combined as well as his alone.

~*Flashback*~

"I have no idea what you're talking about Inuyasha. Go away before I finish what I started when I first got here."

The half breed snarled at her. "You know damn well what I'm talking about! I knew something was wrong with you and now I know what it is! Those rumors are true! His human mistress is you!"

She stood, despite her pain, and strained to look at the taller man's eyes. "I am his mate and don't call me a human! I have no desire to be one."

"He really did brainwash you."

"Being human has only caused me problems. Wolves killed me because I was weak. As a child I was under his constant protection because I wasn't strong enough to protect myself. We have to hide our relationship because I am human. I can't give him a pup because my worthless human body can't handle having one. And even if I could I can't give him an heir because it would be a half breed."

Inuyasha's expression softened. "How do you know your body can't handle one?"

A bitter laugh escaped her, "It already rejected three. That's why I'm here. I'm not his mate officially. He needs a mate and an heir, he's put if off long enough. His heir has to be a full demon and I as his mate can't give him that. I came here because I thought Kagome would know how to turn me into a demon or at least a half breed."

"He wants you to become a demon so you'll have his kid? I thought some royal demon was trying to take that position."

"There is but I won't allow that. And it wasn't his idea, it's mine. Sesshoumaru's against it! He was thinking about giving up his title and leaving it to you. He never wanted it to begin with."

"What?" Not surprising Inuyasha couldn't believe this new information. "He's always been so damn proud about being father's heir. He controls the western lands!"

"When your father left he denounced it. He wanted nothing to do with him or your mother. He said he had no father."

"He certainly remembered him when he tried to rob his grave!"

"Your father owed him that sword. He was never around for Sesshoumaru and even in death he pushed him away for you and your mother."

"He gave him Tensiega! That's the one that brought you back!"

Rin snorted, "At that time in his life do you think he wanted that? You really don't know your brother."

"Half brother," he snapped.

A scream of frustration left the woman as she rushed at him. Lucky for him and her, he grabbed her wrists before she could cause any harm to either on of them. It was at that time the other decided to enter the room. The now female half breed gathered the crying woman in her arms while glaring at her mate.

"Inuyasha get out before you do something worse."

He looked at her as if she just had accused him of killing the poor girl who was now hysterical. "Me?! All I did was correct her. Sesshoumaru is only my half brother and I don't want anyone to forget that."

Rin broke away from Kagome and got back in the male half breed's face. "You are a fool! You go around and proclaim that you hate him and there is nothing but hate between you two. It's all a lie! You act as if he was the one who caused it all but it was you! You, Inuyasha betrayed him! He went back for you! He wanted to raise you the way I had been but you threw it in his face. You are the black hearted one. You and that miserable mother of yours."

He wanted to strike her but couldn't find the will. He had never let anyone talk of his mother in any terms that weren't completely respectful but when talking about her and his brother together.... That was when words failed him. When thinking about the two he could only grasp small memories of his mother always being terrified of Sesshoumaru. And the composed demon heir avoiding contact with her as much as possible.

His silence fueled Rin's argument. "He could never hate either of you. Even when his own mother died for the both of you. He swore on her deathbed to protect both of you and your mother made him break that oath because she was a weak human. You destroyed him yet he still protects you. And you have the audacity to only regard him as your half brother."

~*End Flashback*~

As the past couple of days flashed through Rin's mind the half breed who was one of the reasons for her jumbled emotions sat in a tree not far away from his child. Her words bothered him still and he found himself hating her for it. His father's anniversary had passed without incident but Inuyasha found himself reliving memories he didn't even know existed.

It wasn't fair. He had put his past of loneliness, hate, and pain behind him but this girl had brought it all back with a couple of words. For once he wished Myouga was around. He knew Sesshoumaru's mother had died before he was born but he never knew why.

'She died for my mother and I? It doesn't make sense, what demon besides my father at that time would have died for a human and a half breed?'

He shook his head and glanced down at the still young woman. She should be in bed resting like Sango but Rin was not an ordinary girl. She had been treated too much like a warrior to require rest even though she needed it.

His gaze turned to the clear blue sky. 'A woman I never knew gave her life for my mother and me. Is that why Sesshoumaru hated Mother? But why did Mother fear him if he swore to protect both of us?'

The past as a very young pup begged to be opened but to his frustration he didn't know how to reveal it. 'Ugh, looks like I need that worthless flea.'