Chapter Two -- Gunn
"Don't be such a baby. Get up you big oaf."
Now that couldn't be Cordy's voice he was hearing. She'd been dead for months. She never woke up from that coma Jasmine had put her in. That one day she had come back had been Ghost Cordy, even though he could touch her. He missed her beyond belief.
"I need you, Gunn. Angel needs you. Since Wesley went and got himself killed, I need you, alive. We have a lot of work to do. So quit taking a siesta and snap out of it."
Kind of hard snapping out of a coma, but if any voice could do it, it would be Cordelia's. The woman could scare God when she was on a roll. Gunn moved slightly, pain searing through him. He couldn't move any more.
The last battle had gotten him. He was lucky to be alive, much less in a coma. Angel, Spike and Illyria had beaten the demons back, defeating most of them before they had retreated. Gunn had lasted all of fifteen minutes in the battle, more than the ten minutes Illyria had given him.
As he lay there watching the rest of the battle unfold, his life really did flash before his eyes. All the things he had accomplished and all the failures he had under his belt. He'd screwed up too many times in his life. And his friends and family had paid dearly. Why would he want to wake up and face another day?
Gunn felt Cordy shake him, but didn't want to open his eyes. She'd see the shame in them. She'd see how much he had failed at since she left. He didn't want to see that in her eyes. She had so much faith in him before.
"Quit faking. I know you're in there. Visions you know. Plus, I'm dead and you're not, so you think I'd know if you'd bought the farm."
Damnit, why was she always right. She'd told him so many years ago (yeah, only three, but that was eons ago in his book), that she'd be watching out for him. She'd be his guardian angel. Kind of creeped him out at first. To have this white chick as a guardian angel.
"I know it hurts, but I need your help, Gunn. It's really important." Cordy's voice got all soft and mushy. Now he knew he was in trouble. That woman could get anything she wanted. OK, not anything, because, hey, she's dead now. But she obviously had him wrapped around her little pinky because he gradually opened his eyes.
"Knew it. Playing possum doesn't work on me. Now listen, here's what I need for you to do. First, you have to get up and out of here."
Gunn moved his index finger and cringed. Even moving that hurt too much. He had more tubes coming in and out of him than he'd ever seen on one of those medical TV shows.
"OK, I'll admit that's going to take a little more work, but it has to be soon. We don't have much time. Wesley is doing research right now as we speak."
Now that pain hit him squarely in the gut. He's dead. Illyria had told them that he had died. What on earth was Cordy talking about? All of them knew it was a suicide mission. He knew he'd probably end up dead. He was so lucky to have gotten out of the Senator's office in one piece, of course with lots of those pieces jumbled up inside of him, but he didn't get gutted.
Man, he knew Wes had the hardest assignment. That Vail guy was scary. Taking on the Senator and a bunch of vampires was right up his alley. But Wes didn't have the mojo that Vail did. And Angel knew it. He just wanted Wes to keep the guy busy, to piss him off. Illyria was the only one to not follow orders and go looking for him. All she had told him was "Gutted" when he asked how he had died.
They all had each other's backs before. This battle they had none. Everyone was on his/her own. Everyone had to sacrifice. He had understood that when he had raised his hand in Angel's office. The Senior Partners needed to suffer, just like they had suffered. Cordy, Fred, then Wes had all been taken from them. The bad guys deserved to suffer.
"I know, dead and all, but he can still research. Lots more books though. I need you to help me with the living. It's about Fred."
His hand suddenly moved. Fred. The one person he could count on, the one person who was good in this world was dead. Soul burned up being taken over by some ancient demon-god. And it was all his fault.
"There might be a way. If you'd just wake up and get moving."
Why should he hold out any hope for Fred to return? His signature had doomed her to permanent death, no afterlife, nothing.
"I know. You screwed up major big time. How many times had you sold your soul to make a difference? Just to have it backfire big time. It was always selfish, do you know that? Every single time. The first time, for that truck. You thought it would keep you alive just long enough to make a difference, which it did. The second time, for a girl. A lousy girl. OK, so it was Fred. You gave her your soul to have her smash it to pieces. And when you guys broke up, the soul was for a brain boost. See a pattern, Mr. Brilliant."
Cordy, always making you feel crappy just when you couldn't feel any crappier. She was right on all counts. He was selfish, mostly for all the wrong reasons. His soul really never meant anything to him until Fred had died. He would have given it up just to bring her back.
"We need to break that pattern, right now. Now get your ass up out of that bed." Cordy grabbed his hand and yanked hard.
"Ouch. Damnit, woman. That hurt," he told her.
"Ha. Knew you were faking." Gunn shifted his arms to lever himself up out of the bed. He didn't know how he'd done it, but he was actually sitting up looking at Cordy finally. He might pass out at any moment, but at least he was up.
"Knew that a little coma couldn't keep you down."
"What's this about Fred? What do you need?"
"That stupid doctor lied to you guys. I think we have a chance to bring her back." Gunn knew that stance. That I'm-going-to-kick-your-butt stance she got right before they went into battle. That kind of stance that he had missed in the last one.
"But how? What about Illyria?" It hurt just to talk, but he knew he had to.
"Well, they might just have to share. Fred's strong enough though. She can hold her own. Please do this for her."
To have Fred back, to be able to apologize to her for the rest of his life. He never got to say he was sorry. He had tried with Wes and that didn't even work right. He had lied to Wes about the paper. Now he had a chance to make up for some of it. A least a small portion of it. Redemption was a bitch.
"What do you need me for? Let's go woman."
Gunn slid off the bed and steadied himself. His legs were still there and working. They may be shaking, but they were still working.
"Let's go find Angel."