Title: Goat Porn Madness
Author: Mistress Nika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own the dreaded disease, Goat Porn Madness. Unfortunately, I don't own Fruits Basket. I'm just using them as my guinea pigs for a while. ...and also unfortunately...it seems I somehow managed to catch it from a certain silver-haired Sohma that'll be making his debut next chapter. -_- Yeah, but appearantly it's different for fangirls. It makes us totally stop caring about anything. I first discovered I had contracted it when I was supposed to be writing, but instead was chasing my cousin around with a plastic roach shouting, "Come back! Squeaky wants a kiss!! Chu! Chu! Chu!!" (Yeah... -_- I'm 20, believe it or not. Kinda pathetic, ne?) But boy was it funny to watch him scream like a girl! LMAO!!! (he's 16, with a scream higher and louder than any fangirl could ever hope to achieve!) -_- I'm done now. Just thought you'd like to know that. (Blame it on the Madness)
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways. Will the family ever be the same again?
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Last Chapter:
Hatori's gaze turned to Kyou who suddenly cried, "Run, Sacred Squeaky Mouse! Run! Don't let the baka neko get you!"
Hatori sighed. "Stage three." he groaned. Looking down at the snoozing Shigure he thought aloud, "He's probably at stage two, but he'll be going into stage three anytime now. And then, stage four. ......I need to stock up on peanut butter....and handcuffs."
This Chapter:
Hatori quickly pondered over his options. He didn't think he could chance leaving his cousins alone in their present condition, but he had to get the cure before it was too late for him. With his decision made, he reached down and grabbed Shigure by the colar of his robe. He then proceeded to drag the sleeping dog out the room and into the bathroom. (stupid man...haven't you heard the expression 'let sleeping dogs lie?' ^^)
Just as he was about to shut and lock the door Shigure opened his eyes and leapt to his feet. He just stood there looking very confused and Hatori wondered if perhaps he was temporarily sane again.
"Shigure?" he asked cautiously, standing at the door ready to slam it if need be.
"Ha-san?" Shigure replied, looking at the dragon in confusion. "Why am I in the bathroom? Last I remember was falling asleep in your lap."
Hatori blushed again but hid it quickly. "You mean you were in your right mind then?" he asked.
Shigure just nodded and continued to look confused. "Everything's kinda blury. I remember Kyou-kun with the scissors and then I remember being in your lap and falling asleep. I also remember hearing that television broadcast about the Goat Porn Madness." He looked at Hatori and said suddenly serious, "We've all got it, ne?"
Hatori nodded and Shigure continued, "Well you better go and get that cure before you go crazy like us! I'm okay now so I'll stay here and watch Kyou-kun, Yuki-kun, Haru-kun and Tohru-kun." Suddenly Shigure remembered something. "Tohru-kun! She fainted earlier and we just left her in the hall!"
Hatori turned around to go fetch Tohru before he left, but called back over his shoulder, "Shigure, remind me to ask you how much of what you said and did was because of the Madness when I get back."
"Everything but the leprechaun in your pocket!" Shigure said happily.
Hatori spun around to find the dog grinning at him and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Shigure," he asked carefully, "Are you coming on to me?"
Shigure continued grinning and just said, "Yep!"
"I think the Madness is back."
"Nope!" Shigure said enthusiastically.
Hatori groaned and rolled his eyes. (A/N= I so cannot see Ha-san rolling his eyes O_o) Then he turned away and began walking toward the stairs. "Shigure, I'm trusting you to remain sane and watch over the others. I'll check on Tohru-kun and put her in her bed, then I'm going out."
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(A/N) Ano...don't consider this a chapter. Consider it a ... mini-chapter! See, I actually have a good excuse for not updating this time! (readers look on in disbelief; ready volleys of rotten veggies) *waves hands in front of her face* No! No! Really! My sister was in the hospital for a month to have a malignant cyst removed from her arm. We were afraid it was going to spread rapidly and kill her. But it didn't. They removed it and she stayed with us for about a week and a half while she recovered. So all my time was spent with her. Gomen ne, I'll get back to work on ALL my fics right away!! *dashes off to write more - then comes back for a final note* Oh! This little bit was just to let you know I was still alive and hadn't abandoned it! Ja ne! *dashes off again*
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Reviews are eating my popcorn!! O_o (Haru says "Moooo." ^^)
matchoupitchounette: Oh, I had considered that some might wonder what stage Tohru's in, but I really didn't want to wake her up yet. Wanted to give the boys some "alone time." ^_~ But we'll find out either next chaper or the one after it. LOL I think it's fun to make people disrupt class laughing at my fics! ^^ It means I've succeeded! *bounces happily*
NCAnime99: Yeah, it takes a lot to freak me out, but it's possible. Birdy died..? ;_; WAAAHHH!!! *begins sobbing* I wike de birdy!! *gets evil look* Okay, so I'm gonna end up killing the birdy too. So what!? Not like they're endangered! *imagines Akito's reaction when he finds the bird torn to pieces* BWAHAHAHA!!!!
Queen of All Chipmunks: MY BADGERS SUFFERED A MAJOR SETBACK DUE TO A TRAITOR AMONGST THE MARSHMALLOWS AND HAVE FALLEN BACK TO THE INNER WALL TO REGROUP! Heh, I liked those lines too! ^__^ Okay, we can split Japan...but I get Nagasaki! ^^ *gets dreamy look* Oh, Tsuzuki-chan! *starry background pops up* I'd make trouble to meet you ANY day! *looks throughtful* Hmm...wonder if Muraki needs an evil accomplice..?
-Kyou says it doesn't matter anyway. He doesn't need child support 'cause they're both grown. Then he got teary eyes and had to excuse himself. Later I found him crying on Yuki's shoulder while Yuki held a photo of Jake.
kireina: Yay! You liked it! You really liked it! *grabs her desk lamp and fake cries* I'd just like to take this moment to thank everyone who got me this far! You mean the world to me! *Akito suddenly runs by in a dress with a head of cabbage in one hand and a t.v. crew chasing after him* [Akito: *crazy laughter* HAHAHA! Run, run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the CABBAGE Man!! HAHAHA!!! *pelts kiereina with the cabbage* [Nika: O.O..........O_o............
CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl: Oh yes! I've taken those two ideas and run with them! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! *drops ideas and trips over them* O_o
random viewer: O_o wow...so you're....random? ^^ I'm glad you like my fic and thanks so for telling me your favorite lines!! Makes me soooo happy!!! ^___^ And I've noticed the lack of Kyou-randomness. I'll try to make it better! Personally, I like Haru... ^_~ [Alice (my yami): She's got a thing for the whole j-rocker look. [Nika: *gets crazy look* Kitty.... @_@ *pets a statue of a lizard obsessively* @__@ [Alice: -_-
The Rook of the Graveyard: LOL!!! I'm glad it's so funny it made you choke on your coke! ^___^ *hands over another root beer* Here you go! To make up for the one I made you choke on. *then hands over a Kyou plushie* Look! He talks! *pulls his string* [Kyou plushie: WHAT are you DOING!?!? [Nika: Uhhh...maybe I should try again. *pulls it again* [plushie: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!! [Nika: ....umm...once more... *pulls again* [plushie: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!!! [Nika: O_o
Duo's lil neko: Heh-heh, YEP!! Aya-chan will be appearing next chappie!! He's my second favorite too. ^_~ Who's your first? Mine's a tie between Hatori and Haru. ^^
kitty-kyo: *glares* Hey, now. No one makes fun of ojiisama! He's all MAN baby!! ^____^ But that is a rather funny idea. "Princess Yuki!" LMAO!! Oh, no. Sorry. Kyon-kyon wasn't pantless. He was wearing pajama pants. *rubs back of head* Heh, I kinda forget to say what they're wearing. But YUKI is!! *hentai grin* Yep, all that gorgeous prince was wearing was a pair of boxers! *drifts off into unsavory thoughts* Oh! Sorry! I've got way too many partners in the 'take over the world' scheme. As it stands, I'm gonna have to 'terminate' a few of them. *glances deviously over at Queen of All Chipmunks* What!? You thought I'd kill my sister!? Jodea-chan is safe! o_o But I might be willing to give you Hawaii if you'd contribute two dozen fuzzy pink lemons! ^^ Can't tell you what they're for! It's classified! *huge grin*
blue fox demon: LOL, yeah. sounds like loads of fun to have, until you get it! Well, it IS rather fun to HAVE. It's just the bits where you're sane that make it not so fun anymore. LOL ^^
leechy: YAY!! So glad you like it!! *glomps leechy*
unknown: "unknown"? You don't know who you are? O_o Do you need me to help you? Well, no mater! ^^ Glad you like my fic so much!! ^___^
Author: Mistress Nika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I own the dreaded disease, Goat Porn Madness. Unfortunately, I don't own Fruits Basket. I'm just using them as my guinea pigs for a while. ...and also unfortunately...it seems I somehow managed to catch it from a certain silver-haired Sohma that'll be making his debut next chapter. -_- Yeah, but appearantly it's different for fangirls. It makes us totally stop caring about anything. I first discovered I had contracted it when I was supposed to be writing, but instead was chasing my cousin around with a plastic roach shouting, "Come back! Squeaky wants a kiss!! Chu! Chu! Chu!!" (Yeah... -_- I'm 20, believe it or not. Kinda pathetic, ne?) But boy was it funny to watch him scream like a girl! LMAO!!! (he's 16, with a scream higher and louder than any fangirl could ever hope to achieve!) -_- I'm done now. Just thought you'd like to know that. (Blame it on the Madness)
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways. Will the family ever be the same again?
_______________________________________________________________
Last Chapter:
Hatori's gaze turned to Kyou who suddenly cried, "Run, Sacred Squeaky Mouse! Run! Don't let the baka neko get you!"
Hatori sighed. "Stage three." he groaned. Looking down at the snoozing Shigure he thought aloud, "He's probably at stage two, but he'll be going into stage three anytime now. And then, stage four. ......I need to stock up on peanut butter....and handcuffs."
This Chapter:
Hatori quickly pondered over his options. He didn't think he could chance leaving his cousins alone in their present condition, but he had to get the cure before it was too late for him. With his decision made, he reached down and grabbed Shigure by the colar of his robe. He then proceeded to drag the sleeping dog out the room and into the bathroom. (stupid man...haven't you heard the expression 'let sleeping dogs lie?' ^^)
Just as he was about to shut and lock the door Shigure opened his eyes and leapt to his feet. He just stood there looking very confused and Hatori wondered if perhaps he was temporarily sane again.
"Shigure?" he asked cautiously, standing at the door ready to slam it if need be.
"Ha-san?" Shigure replied, looking at the dragon in confusion. "Why am I in the bathroom? Last I remember was falling asleep in your lap."
Hatori blushed again but hid it quickly. "You mean you were in your right mind then?" he asked.
Shigure just nodded and continued to look confused. "Everything's kinda blury. I remember Kyou-kun with the scissors and then I remember being in your lap and falling asleep. I also remember hearing that television broadcast about the Goat Porn Madness." He looked at Hatori and said suddenly serious, "We've all got it, ne?"
Hatori nodded and Shigure continued, "Well you better go and get that cure before you go crazy like us! I'm okay now so I'll stay here and watch Kyou-kun, Yuki-kun, Haru-kun and Tohru-kun." Suddenly Shigure remembered something. "Tohru-kun! She fainted earlier and we just left her in the hall!"
Hatori turned around to go fetch Tohru before he left, but called back over his shoulder, "Shigure, remind me to ask you how much of what you said and did was because of the Madness when I get back."
"Everything but the leprechaun in your pocket!" Shigure said happily.
Hatori spun around to find the dog grinning at him and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Shigure," he asked carefully, "Are you coming on to me?"
Shigure continued grinning and just said, "Yep!"
"I think the Madness is back."
"Nope!" Shigure said enthusiastically.
Hatori groaned and rolled his eyes. (A/N= I so cannot see Ha-san rolling his eyes O_o) Then he turned away and began walking toward the stairs. "Shigure, I'm trusting you to remain sane and watch over the others. I'll check on Tohru-kun and put her in her bed, then I'm going out."
_______________________________________________________________
(A/N) Ano...don't consider this a chapter. Consider it a ... mini-chapter! See, I actually have a good excuse for not updating this time! (readers look on in disbelief; ready volleys of rotten veggies) *waves hands in front of her face* No! No! Really! My sister was in the hospital for a month to have a malignant cyst removed from her arm. We were afraid it was going to spread rapidly and kill her. But it didn't. They removed it and she stayed with us for about a week and a half while she recovered. So all my time was spent with her. Gomen ne, I'll get back to work on ALL my fics right away!! *dashes off to write more - then comes back for a final note* Oh! This little bit was just to let you know I was still alive and hadn't abandoned it! Ja ne! *dashes off again*
_______________________________________________________________
Reviews are eating my popcorn!! O_o (Haru says "Moooo." ^^)
matchoupitchounette: Oh, I had considered that some might wonder what stage Tohru's in, but I really didn't want to wake her up yet. Wanted to give the boys some "alone time." ^_~ But we'll find out either next chaper or the one after it. LOL I think it's fun to make people disrupt class laughing at my fics! ^^ It means I've succeeded! *bounces happily*
NCAnime99: Yeah, it takes a lot to freak me out, but it's possible. Birdy died..? ;_; WAAAHHH!!! *begins sobbing* I wike de birdy!! *gets evil look* Okay, so I'm gonna end up killing the birdy too. So what!? Not like they're endangered! *imagines Akito's reaction when he finds the bird torn to pieces* BWAHAHAHA!!!!
Queen of All Chipmunks: MY BADGERS SUFFERED A MAJOR SETBACK DUE TO A TRAITOR AMONGST THE MARSHMALLOWS AND HAVE FALLEN BACK TO THE INNER WALL TO REGROUP! Heh, I liked those lines too! ^__^ Okay, we can split Japan...but I get Nagasaki! ^^ *gets dreamy look* Oh, Tsuzuki-chan! *starry background pops up* I'd make trouble to meet you ANY day! *looks throughtful* Hmm...wonder if Muraki needs an evil accomplice..?
-Kyou says it doesn't matter anyway. He doesn't need child support 'cause they're both grown. Then he got teary eyes and had to excuse himself. Later I found him crying on Yuki's shoulder while Yuki held a photo of Jake.
kireina: Yay! You liked it! You really liked it! *grabs her desk lamp and fake cries* I'd just like to take this moment to thank everyone who got me this far! You mean the world to me! *Akito suddenly runs by in a dress with a head of cabbage in one hand and a t.v. crew chasing after him* [Akito: *crazy laughter* HAHAHA! Run, run, run, as fast as you can! You can't catch me! I'm the CABBAGE Man!! HAHAHA!!! *pelts kiereina with the cabbage* [Nika: O.O..........O_o............
CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl: Oh yes! I've taken those two ideas and run with them! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! *drops ideas and trips over them* O_o
random viewer: O_o wow...so you're....random? ^^ I'm glad you like my fic and thanks so for telling me your favorite lines!! Makes me soooo happy!!! ^___^ And I've noticed the lack of Kyou-randomness. I'll try to make it better! Personally, I like Haru... ^_~ [Alice (my yami): She's got a thing for the whole j-rocker look. [Nika: *gets crazy look* Kitty.... @_@ *pets a statue of a lizard obsessively* @__@ [Alice: -_-
The Rook of the Graveyard: LOL!!! I'm glad it's so funny it made you choke on your coke! ^___^ *hands over another root beer* Here you go! To make up for the one I made you choke on. *then hands over a Kyou plushie* Look! He talks! *pulls his string* [Kyou plushie: WHAT are you DOING!?!? [Nika: Uhhh...maybe I should try again. *pulls it again* [plushie: GET YOUR HANDS OFF ME!!! [Nika: ....umm...once more... *pulls again* [plushie: GET THE HELL AWAY FROM ME, YOU FREAK!!! [Nika: O_o
Duo's lil neko: Heh-heh, YEP!! Aya-chan will be appearing next chappie!! He's my second favorite too. ^_~ Who's your first? Mine's a tie between Hatori and Haru. ^^
kitty-kyo: *glares* Hey, now. No one makes fun of ojiisama! He's all MAN baby!! ^____^ But that is a rather funny idea. "Princess Yuki!" LMAO!! Oh, no. Sorry. Kyon-kyon wasn't pantless. He was wearing pajama pants. *rubs back of head* Heh, I kinda forget to say what they're wearing. But YUKI is!! *hentai grin* Yep, all that gorgeous prince was wearing was a pair of boxers! *drifts off into unsavory thoughts* Oh! Sorry! I've got way too many partners in the 'take over the world' scheme. As it stands, I'm gonna have to 'terminate' a few of them. *glances deviously over at Queen of All Chipmunks* What!? You thought I'd kill my sister!? Jodea-chan is safe! o_o But I might be willing to give you Hawaii if you'd contribute two dozen fuzzy pink lemons! ^^ Can't tell you what they're for! It's classified! *huge grin*
blue fox demon: LOL, yeah. sounds like loads of fun to have, until you get it! Well, it IS rather fun to HAVE. It's just the bits where you're sane that make it not so fun anymore. LOL ^^
leechy: YAY!! So glad you like it!! *glomps leechy*
unknown: "unknown"? You don't know who you are? O_o Do you need me to help you? Well, no mater! ^^ Glad you like my fic so much!! ^___^