Title: Goat Porn Madness
Author: Mistress Nika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the series...just kidnapped a certain person, forced the Madness on him and set him loose to watch him wreak his havoc. ^^
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways. Will the family ever be the same again?
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Last Time:
Hatori spun around to find the dog grinning at him and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Shigure," he asked carefully, "Are you coming on to me?"
Shigure continued grinning and just said, "Yep!"
"I think the Madness is back."
"Nope!" Shigure said enthusiastically.
Hatori groaned and rolled his eyes. Then he turned away and began walking toward the stairs. "Shigure, I'm trusting you to remain sane and watch over the others. I'll check on Tohru-kun and put her in her bed, then I'm going out."
This Time:
Hatori sighed as he walked up to the door to Shigure's house. "How humiliating." he mumbled. Not only had he not obtained the cure, he had also managed to make an utter fool of himself. He was certain his little performance would make the evening news.
Before he could pull the door open, it was suddenly ripped out of his hand as it was opened from the inside. Shigure greeted him with a broom handle pointed at his chest and a psychotic expression. "Eat hot lead, evil vacumn cleaner salesman!" Shigure shouted and then pretended to shoot him.
Hatori just sighed again. It seemed he was doing a lot of that, but he guessed he had good reason. If it weren't for his damned doctor's instincts that made him want to take care of everyone, he would have locked himself in his room and not come out until he was normal again.
"Oh, Ha-san!" Shigure suddenly exclaimed, dropping the broom. "It's you!" His psychotic expression was replaced with a huge grin and he threw himself at his friend. "HUG ME!!"
Hatori didn't have time to react as he was suddenly plowed to the ground and glomped by his insane cousin. His eyes widened in shock and all he could do was lay there as Shigure squeezed until he thought his ribs were gonna crack. Then, just as unexpectedly as the attack had begun, it stopped. Shigure grew still and Hatori felt his grip loosen.
Then Shigure's uncertain voice whispered, "Ha-san?"
Hatori replied back, "Yes, Shigure?"
There was another extremely uncomfortable pause before Shigure said, barely audible, "Why are we on the ground? And...why am I on...top of you?"
Hatori felt a blush rise unbidden to his cheeks and was about to explain, but at that moment Kyou's voice sounded, rather sanely, from just inside the house. "Oi, inu!" he said as he came closer to the door. "Leave Hatori alone and go eat your marshmallows!"
And then...he emerged from the house. And his eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. "A...ano..." he began, "Eto....tell me you two are so far gone you have no idea what you're doing...onegai?"
Hatori quickly shoved Shigure off him and rose to his feet with a look of supreme embarrasment. Shigure however sat dazed on the ground for a minute before shouting, "Oh marshmallows!!" And then he leapt to his feet and dashed away into the house.
Kyou blinked at the blur that flew by him and then looked back at Hatori, hoping for an explaination.
Hatori scratched a non-existant itch on his nose and then stared the neko down. "You will never...never mention this again." he demanded cooly. Kyou shook his head frantically, not wanting to test the embarrased dragon's temper, and then Hatori decided a change of subject would be good. "What has happened since I was gone?" he asked flatly.
Kyou still looked a little shocked at what he had just seen, but answered, "I came to my senses just after you left and found Shigure raiding the kitchen and..." he paused here to shudder "...Yuki and Haru hugging each other, oblivious to anything around them. I went to check on Tohru, she's still asleep by the way, and when I came back...Yuki and Haru were gone."
"What!?" Hatori demanded. "You lost them!?"
Kyou nodded. "I'm afraid so." he replied. "I have absolutely no idea where they are."
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(A/N) Heh, sorry no updates for a while and sorry this is so short and crappy. But, AGAIN, I have an excuse!! (readers prepare veggie volley again) *glares at them in such an evil way they put the veggies away and begin to cower* I am in sooo much pain right now! I had to have emergency surgery and now I have no pain medicine because they gave me the wrong thing. They gave me hydrocodone, which I am deathly allergic to. I didn't realize it because I was just waking up when they handed it off to me. I was taking it for like a day and a half and just assumed the reason I was so sickly was because of the pain. Well, I was asleep for a couple hours after my medicine wore off and my head cleared a little. I looked at the label and realized I had basically been poisoning myself for two days. Now, I have no pain medicine to take. And tylonol just doesn't touch this kind of pain. I'd still be asleep, if I weren't in so much pain! *sigh* But I can't sleep...so I'm writing.....poorly. -_-
(Another A/N) At this point I feel I must say, anyone who doesn't like shounen-ai can kiss my white ass and call it gravy for all I care. I'm pairing guys with guys and, as pain turns me into a major bitch, I couldn't give a damn who likes it and who doesn't. Deal or leave! (that said, please don't blame me when I return to my normal state. I'm not responsible for my actions right now. ;_; )
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Reviews are cowering in fear right now. Seems I kicked one harder than I should have. They'll return next chapter...hopefully.
Author: Mistress Nika
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the series...just kidnapped a certain person, forced the Madness on him and set him loose to watch him wreak his havoc. ^^
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways. Will the family ever be the same again?
_________________________________________________________
Last Time:
Hatori spun around to find the dog grinning at him and he narrowed his eyes slightly. "Shigure," he asked carefully, "Are you coming on to me?"
Shigure continued grinning and just said, "Yep!"
"I think the Madness is back."
"Nope!" Shigure said enthusiastically.
Hatori groaned and rolled his eyes. Then he turned away and began walking toward the stairs. "Shigure, I'm trusting you to remain sane and watch over the others. I'll check on Tohru-kun and put her in her bed, then I'm going out."
This Time:
Hatori sighed as he walked up to the door to Shigure's house. "How humiliating." he mumbled. Not only had he not obtained the cure, he had also managed to make an utter fool of himself. He was certain his little performance would make the evening news.
Before he could pull the door open, it was suddenly ripped out of his hand as it was opened from the inside. Shigure greeted him with a broom handle pointed at his chest and a psychotic expression. "Eat hot lead, evil vacumn cleaner salesman!" Shigure shouted and then pretended to shoot him.
Hatori just sighed again. It seemed he was doing a lot of that, but he guessed he had good reason. If it weren't for his damned doctor's instincts that made him want to take care of everyone, he would have locked himself in his room and not come out until he was normal again.
"Oh, Ha-san!" Shigure suddenly exclaimed, dropping the broom. "It's you!" His psychotic expression was replaced with a huge grin and he threw himself at his friend. "HUG ME!!"
Hatori didn't have time to react as he was suddenly plowed to the ground and glomped by his insane cousin. His eyes widened in shock and all he could do was lay there as Shigure squeezed until he thought his ribs were gonna crack. Then, just as unexpectedly as the attack had begun, it stopped. Shigure grew still and Hatori felt his grip loosen.
Then Shigure's uncertain voice whispered, "Ha-san?"
Hatori replied back, "Yes, Shigure?"
There was another extremely uncomfortable pause before Shigure said, barely audible, "Why are we on the ground? And...why am I on...top of you?"
Hatori felt a blush rise unbidden to his cheeks and was about to explain, but at that moment Kyou's voice sounded, rather sanely, from just inside the house. "Oi, inu!" he said as he came closer to the door. "Leave Hatori alone and go eat your marshmallows!"
And then...he emerged from the house. And his eyes widened as he took in the scene before him. "A...ano..." he began, "Eto....tell me you two are so far gone you have no idea what you're doing...onegai?"
Hatori quickly shoved Shigure off him and rose to his feet with a look of supreme embarrasment. Shigure however sat dazed on the ground for a minute before shouting, "Oh marshmallows!!" And then he leapt to his feet and dashed away into the house.
Kyou blinked at the blur that flew by him and then looked back at Hatori, hoping for an explaination.
Hatori scratched a non-existant itch on his nose and then stared the neko down. "You will never...never mention this again." he demanded cooly. Kyou shook his head frantically, not wanting to test the embarrased dragon's temper, and then Hatori decided a change of subject would be good. "What has happened since I was gone?" he asked flatly.
Kyou still looked a little shocked at what he had just seen, but answered, "I came to my senses just after you left and found Shigure raiding the kitchen and..." he paused here to shudder "...Yuki and Haru hugging each other, oblivious to anything around them. I went to check on Tohru, she's still asleep by the way, and when I came back...Yuki and Haru were gone."
"What!?" Hatori demanded. "You lost them!?"
Kyou nodded. "I'm afraid so." he replied. "I have absolutely no idea where they are."
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(A/N) Heh, sorry no updates for a while and sorry this is so short and crappy. But, AGAIN, I have an excuse!! (readers prepare veggie volley again) *glares at them in such an evil way they put the veggies away and begin to cower* I am in sooo much pain right now! I had to have emergency surgery and now I have no pain medicine because they gave me the wrong thing. They gave me hydrocodone, which I am deathly allergic to. I didn't realize it because I was just waking up when they handed it off to me. I was taking it for like a day and a half and just assumed the reason I was so sickly was because of the pain. Well, I was asleep for a couple hours after my medicine wore off and my head cleared a little. I looked at the label and realized I had basically been poisoning myself for two days. Now, I have no pain medicine to take. And tylonol just doesn't touch this kind of pain. I'd still be asleep, if I weren't in so much pain! *sigh* But I can't sleep...so I'm writing.....poorly. -_-
(Another A/N) At this point I feel I must say, anyone who doesn't like shounen-ai can kiss my white ass and call it gravy for all I care. I'm pairing guys with guys and, as pain turns me into a major bitch, I couldn't give a damn who likes it and who doesn't. Deal or leave! (that said, please don't blame me when I return to my normal state. I'm not responsible for my actions right now. ;_; )
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Reviews are cowering in fear right now. Seems I kicked one harder than I should have. They'll return next chapter...hopefully.