Title: Goat Porn Madness
Author: Mistress Nika (InuNekoMiko@aol.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: none really considering this isn't a serious fic, but I suppose you can look for Hatori/Shigure, Yuki/Haru, and maybe some Hatori/Ayame/Shigure too ^^ who knows? I'm also a fan of Shigure/Akito, Akito/Hatori, Akito/Tohru, Shigure/Tohru, Haru/Kyou, and Yuki/Kyou... so basically whatever pairings I feel like throwing in! MWAHAHAHA!!!!! FEAR ME AND MY TOTALLY HENTAI, SADISTIC, YAOI LOVING MIND!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Warnings: shounen-ai, randomness...total randomness, unwarrented abuse of marshmallows and other food items, sexual inuedo...everywhere -_- (maybe some other stuff)
Disclaimer: I don't own the series...just kidnapped a certain person, forced the Madness on him and set him loose to watch him wreak his havoc. ^^
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways.
_______________________________________________________________________
~~Last Time~~
"What!?" Hatori demanded. "You lost them!?"
Kyou nodded. "I'm afraid so." he replied. "I have absolutely no idea where they are."
~~This Time~~
Hatori was now beginning to panic...deep down of course. There was no limit to the chaos the two boys could cause should they be allowed to mix with the general public. He could just imagine trying to explain why the two members of the Sohma family turned into animals on live t.v.
A creaking branch above him caught his attention and he whipped his head around just in time to catch a glimpse of a light purple robe, flapping in the breeze, before it disapeared into the shadows of the limbs. Only one person that could be.
"Hatsuharu!" he said sternly, "Come down from there this instant."
Leaves rustled sinisterly in answer.
Kyou was getting a little nervous. Why exactly was Haru in a tree? And where was Yuki?
The branches of another nearby tree rustled and before they could react a black, white and purple blur had launched himself out of the tree with a cry of, "Space Cowboy to the rescue!!"
Hatori dodged the cow's attack, sending him flying into Kyou and knocking him to the ground, causing them both to tumble several feet.
Kyou shrieked like a little girl and screamed in terror, "COWS EAT BABIES!!!" Then he lept to his feet, away from Haru, and fled into the woods.
Haru was right behind him as he called in a sing-song voice, "Who ate the cat!? HARU ate the cat!!"
As the two disappeared into the trees Hatori groaned. "That's it!" he exclaimed throwing up his hands in exasperation. "I'm joining the Village People and moving to Iceland!" Then he sweatdropped realizing what he had said.
He was about to follow after the two and try to stop them before they reached civilization, but at that exact moment Tohru's terrified screech echoed throughout the house. Shigure emerged two seconds later with giant pink marshmallows in each hand and several stuffed in his mouth looking extremely startled.
Gooey marshmallows fell out of his mouth as he asked, "Ha-san? Did you just scream?"
Hatori pushed past Shigure on his way to Tohru's room. He choose to ignore the fact that his cousin had appearantly mistaken a very feminine sound as one he made. He barely had time to dodge the young female who came barreling down the stairs in a frightened rush.
Tohru ran past Hatori, who had flattened himself against the wall, and out the front door. "Two hundred naked bikers are climbing in my window!" she shrieked and promptly ran smack into a stunned Shigure.
*POOF!*
She tripped over a now vacant sleeve and collapsed on top of a black dog with pink goo on it's mouth. Sitting up she took one look at the transformed marshmallow-munching Shigure and screamed, "AAAHHHH!!!!! Rabid Venezuelan Monkeys!!!!!" Then she jumped to her feet, screamed again and fled back into the house.
And the postman chose that exact moment to deliver the newspaper. Hatori ignored the seemingly rabid dog, the robe laying on the ground, the fact that Haru, Yuki AND Kyou were on the loose somewhere and that Tohru was probably huddling terrified under a desk hiding from the invisible naked bikers and the rabid venezuelan monkeys.
He walked calmly over to the man and accepted the paper, while getting strange looks from him.
Something touched his leg, but he ignored that too. Until the postman looked down at said leg, then back up at him with a look of confusion.
"Is your dog gay?" he asked cautiously.
Hatori glanced down stoically at the black dog doing unspeakable things to his leg. He then stared the man down as if daring him to say something else and said simply, "Apparently."
_______________________________________________________________________
(A/N) Hewwo! I'm back! ^___^
_______________________________________________________________________
Thanks to; blue fox demon, NCAnime99, Kyou's babe, jaded image, A Reader, lilhillbillie, Silent Angel, hatsuharolover, Queen of All Chipmunks, kireina, CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl, Pax Romona, Duo's lil neko, Catzi, The-Great-Monk-Grl, Inga, Crimson Cloaked Figure, Hakudoshi-chan, Haru's Girl, Wizardess Gal, Kyou's babe, thedarksquiggle, kitty-kyo, kama
A Reader: HAHAHA!! True! The Sohma family IS the only one where you can say "I've got a snake in my pants" and they'd expect a litteral explaination! LOL
lilhillbillie: *insane grin* oh yes...peanut butter! ^^ You would so love Fruits Basket! ^^ LOL (hands her a Bakura plushie) Just pop him into your Bishy Cloner and hit "Animate"! He'll come out alive and hentai! ^^
Queen of All Chipmunks: LOL Ha-san is DEFINATELY gonna lose it! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! See!? It's starting! The insanity always starts with the Village People! HAHAHAHA!!! (sneaks up behind her with a spork) Shhh! The grapes are listening!!
kireina: Oh! Both Akito and Aya are coming in next chapter! ^^ AND Momiji!! ^__^ What's up with Shi-chan? Simple! He's got the hots for Ha'ri and insane with the Madness! MWAHAHAHA!!! (pets her Akitty plushie with an evil grin and mad cackle) (suddenly gets serious) You're never gonna belive this, but I was working on the scene where Akito's birdy bites the dust, then I went to the store to buy MY birdy some food.....came back and he was DEAD!!! O_O Seriously!! Sprawled out over the bottom of the cage! DEAD!!! O__O [from chappie five review= YAY!! I'm sooo glad you like Shi-chan hitting on Ha-chan! (O_o wait...that was my bird's name! *sobs* HA-CHAN!! COME BACK!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!) Heh, I'm thinking of ending the fic with everyone seeing a news report with Hatori and Akito making fools of themselves on it. ^^ Might bring it in earlier though. ^^ But next chapter is gonna be chaos in the city, so they won't be back in front of the t.v. for a while! ^^
Duo's lil neko: I know! Kisa's so adorable! But I always tend to gravitate toward the bishys. ^_~ (glomps Akito) Like the dark, tortured, evil ones best! ^^ Aya-chan's up next chappie! ^^
Catzi: Oh! I love those quotes! I've got the perfect scene for Yuki to say "Here I come to save the day!" in!! ^^ THANKS!! ^^
Hakudoshi-chan: Yeeeeessss, I DO know onegai means please... Why did you ask that? I suppose if I have Tohru come downstairs one morning and say ohayou gozaimasu you're gonna ask if I know that means good morning..? I don't use words I don't know...because that's stupid. You seem to think I used onegai wrong...why? He was begging that Hatori tell him it was true. Y'know? The translation would be; "Uh...uhh..." he began, "Umm....tell me you two are so far gone you have no idea what you're doing...please?" Indicating he's a bit uncomfortable. Well, thanks for the review and liking my fic.
Haru's Girl: Oh! I like that song! *sings along* Haru and Yuki, sitting in a tree! F-U-C-K-I-N-G!!! First comes fingers, then comes--- (is silenced by Hatori's hand over her mouth)
Hatori: *glare* Don't corrupt the minors.
Nika: *licks Hatori's hand*
Hatori: O_O (doesn't remove his hand)
Nika: . (thinks hard / glomps and poofs him) ^__^
Hatori: O_o -meep- (cute little sound he makes)
Nika: ^^ Oh, cookies! (grabs cookies and munches) The Madness is such a FUN disease! And you can blame it for everything! ^^
kama: Oh! Thanks so for reviewing! I actually, truly FORGOT about this fic! Seriously! That happens when I'm working on seven at a time! LOL Thanks so for reminding me to work on this one! This chappie's for you! ^^
Author: Mistress Nika (InuNekoMiko@aol.com)
Rating: PG-13
Pairings: none really considering this isn't a serious fic, but I suppose you can look for Hatori/Shigure, Yuki/Haru, and maybe some Hatori/Ayame/Shigure too ^^ who knows? I'm also a fan of Shigure/Akito, Akito/Hatori, Akito/Tohru, Shigure/Tohru, Haru/Kyou, and Yuki/Kyou... so basically whatever pairings I feel like throwing in! MWAHAHAHA!!!!! FEAR ME AND MY TOTALLY HENTAI, SADISTIC, YAOI LOVING MIND!!!!! BWAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
Warnings: shounen-ai, randomness...total randomness, unwarrented abuse of marshmallows and other food items, sexual inuedo...everywhere -_- (maybe some other stuff)
Disclaimer: I don't own the series...just kidnapped a certain person, forced the Madness on him and set him loose to watch him wreak his havoc. ^^
Summary: The Sohma family + Tohru catches a previously unknown disease that makes them act in strange, random ways.
_______________________________________________________________________
~~Last Time~~
"What!?" Hatori demanded. "You lost them!?"
Kyou nodded. "I'm afraid so." he replied. "I have absolutely no idea where they are."
~~This Time~~
Hatori was now beginning to panic...deep down of course. There was no limit to the chaos the two boys could cause should they be allowed to mix with the general public. He could just imagine trying to explain why the two members of the Sohma family turned into animals on live t.v.
A creaking branch above him caught his attention and he whipped his head around just in time to catch a glimpse of a light purple robe, flapping in the breeze, before it disapeared into the shadows of the limbs. Only one person that could be.
"Hatsuharu!" he said sternly, "Come down from there this instant."
Leaves rustled sinisterly in answer.
Kyou was getting a little nervous. Why exactly was Haru in a tree? And where was Yuki?
The branches of another nearby tree rustled and before they could react a black, white and purple blur had launched himself out of the tree with a cry of, "Space Cowboy to the rescue!!"
Hatori dodged the cow's attack, sending him flying into Kyou and knocking him to the ground, causing them both to tumble several feet.
Kyou shrieked like a little girl and screamed in terror, "COWS EAT BABIES!!!" Then he lept to his feet, away from Haru, and fled into the woods.
Haru was right behind him as he called in a sing-song voice, "Who ate the cat!? HARU ate the cat!!"
As the two disappeared into the trees Hatori groaned. "That's it!" he exclaimed throwing up his hands in exasperation. "I'm joining the Village People and moving to Iceland!" Then he sweatdropped realizing what he had said.
He was about to follow after the two and try to stop them before they reached civilization, but at that exact moment Tohru's terrified screech echoed throughout the house. Shigure emerged two seconds later with giant pink marshmallows in each hand and several stuffed in his mouth looking extremely startled.
Gooey marshmallows fell out of his mouth as he asked, "Ha-san? Did you just scream?"
Hatori pushed past Shigure on his way to Tohru's room. He choose to ignore the fact that his cousin had appearantly mistaken a very feminine sound as one he made. He barely had time to dodge the young female who came barreling down the stairs in a frightened rush.
Tohru ran past Hatori, who had flattened himself against the wall, and out the front door. "Two hundred naked bikers are climbing in my window!" she shrieked and promptly ran smack into a stunned Shigure.
*POOF!*
She tripped over a now vacant sleeve and collapsed on top of a black dog with pink goo on it's mouth. Sitting up she took one look at the transformed marshmallow-munching Shigure and screamed, "AAAHHHH!!!!! Rabid Venezuelan Monkeys!!!!!" Then she jumped to her feet, screamed again and fled back into the house.
And the postman chose that exact moment to deliver the newspaper. Hatori ignored the seemingly rabid dog, the robe laying on the ground, the fact that Haru, Yuki AND Kyou were on the loose somewhere and that Tohru was probably huddling terrified under a desk hiding from the invisible naked bikers and the rabid venezuelan monkeys.
He walked calmly over to the man and accepted the paper, while getting strange looks from him.
Something touched his leg, but he ignored that too. Until the postman looked down at said leg, then back up at him with a look of confusion.
"Is your dog gay?" he asked cautiously.
Hatori glanced down stoically at the black dog doing unspeakable things to his leg. He then stared the man down as if daring him to say something else and said simply, "Apparently."
_______________________________________________________________________
(A/N) Hewwo! I'm back! ^___^
_______________________________________________________________________
Thanks to; blue fox demon, NCAnime99, Kyou's babe, jaded image, A Reader, lilhillbillie, Silent Angel, hatsuharolover, Queen of All Chipmunks, kireina, CrazyInsaneAnimeFanGirl, Pax Romona, Duo's lil neko, Catzi, The-Great-Monk-Grl, Inga, Crimson Cloaked Figure, Hakudoshi-chan, Haru's Girl, Wizardess Gal, Kyou's babe, thedarksquiggle, kitty-kyo, kama
A Reader: HAHAHA!! True! The Sohma family IS the only one where you can say "I've got a snake in my pants" and they'd expect a litteral explaination! LOL
lilhillbillie: *insane grin* oh yes...peanut butter! ^^ You would so love Fruits Basket! ^^ LOL (hands her a Bakura plushie) Just pop him into your Bishy Cloner and hit "Animate"! He'll come out alive and hentai! ^^
Queen of All Chipmunks: LOL Ha-san is DEFINATELY gonna lose it! BWAHAHAHA!!!!! See!? It's starting! The insanity always starts with the Village People! HAHAHAHA!!! (sneaks up behind her with a spork) Shhh! The grapes are listening!!
kireina: Oh! Both Akito and Aya are coming in next chapter! ^^ AND Momiji!! ^__^ What's up with Shi-chan? Simple! He's got the hots for Ha'ri and insane with the Madness! MWAHAHAHA!!! (pets her Akitty plushie with an evil grin and mad cackle) (suddenly gets serious) You're never gonna belive this, but I was working on the scene where Akito's birdy bites the dust, then I went to the store to buy MY birdy some food.....came back and he was DEAD!!! O_O Seriously!! Sprawled out over the bottom of the cage! DEAD!!! O__O [from chappie five review= YAY!! I'm sooo glad you like Shi-chan hitting on Ha-chan! (O_o wait...that was my bird's name! *sobs* HA-CHAN!! COME BACK!!! WAAAAHHHH!!!!) Heh, I'm thinking of ending the fic with everyone seeing a news report with Hatori and Akito making fools of themselves on it. ^^ Might bring it in earlier though. ^^ But next chapter is gonna be chaos in the city, so they won't be back in front of the t.v. for a while! ^^
Duo's lil neko: I know! Kisa's so adorable! But I always tend to gravitate toward the bishys. ^_~ (glomps Akito) Like the dark, tortured, evil ones best! ^^ Aya-chan's up next chappie! ^^
Catzi: Oh! I love those quotes! I've got the perfect scene for Yuki to say "Here I come to save the day!" in!! ^^ THANKS!! ^^
Hakudoshi-chan: Yeeeeessss, I DO know onegai means please... Why did you ask that? I suppose if I have Tohru come downstairs one morning and say ohayou gozaimasu you're gonna ask if I know that means good morning..? I don't use words I don't know...because that's stupid. You seem to think I used onegai wrong...why? He was begging that Hatori tell him it was true. Y'know? The translation would be; "Uh...uhh..." he began, "Umm....tell me you two are so far gone you have no idea what you're doing...please?" Indicating he's a bit uncomfortable. Well, thanks for the review and liking my fic.
Haru's Girl: Oh! I like that song! *sings along* Haru and Yuki, sitting in a tree! F-U-C-K-I-N-G!!! First comes fingers, then comes--- (is silenced by Hatori's hand over her mouth)
Hatori: *glare* Don't corrupt the minors.
Nika: *licks Hatori's hand*
Hatori: O_O (doesn't remove his hand)
Nika: . (thinks hard / glomps and poofs him) ^__^
Hatori: O_o -meep- (cute little sound he makes)
Nika: ^^ Oh, cookies! (grabs cookies and munches) The Madness is such a FUN disease! And you can blame it for everything! ^^
kama: Oh! Thanks so for reviewing! I actually, truly FORGOT about this fic! Seriously! That happens when I'm working on seven at a time! LOL Thanks so for reminding me to work on this one! This chappie's for you! ^^