Time's Scar
Written by: MoonlightUsa
Rated: PG-13
Genre: Romance/Angst
Summery: (Taken place during the infamous R breakup) The pain in Usagi's heart is too much for her to handle… can Mamoru stop her before it goes too far?
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Pain. It felt like her heart was being thrown against a brick wall, dropping slowly to the ground, then being stomped on one thousand times more. Nothing could make this pain go away; the music made it worse, the silence gave off a crying pain, and the day just seemed to crawl slowly. It was two weeks since Mamoru had ripped every ounce of feeling from her, and no matter how many times she'd beg him to take her back, he would turn his back and would retreat, Chibi-usa shortly behind him.
Chibi-usa: what a character. She plays the innocent act around Mamoru, but when it comes to her, all Chibi-usa does is throw any type of insult at her. Hell, it feels like the reason Chibi-usa came to this time was to steal Mamoru away from her. Why would he choose a 7-year old over his destined wife? Was destiny nothing to him anymore?
She had contemplated many reasons as to why she was not good enough for her beloved. She was too young, too skinny, to immature… oh the list was endless. Maybe he was looking for some raven beauty, like Rei. He was with her once before; maybe she was ideal girl, not some immature failure. What was destiny if it was only destined to hurt in the end? Why should she stay here only to live a life of misery?
She pressed her forehead to the cool window, gazing into the night sky. Her eyes were void of emotion; her heart felt like it stopped beating. Why should she be here? She was a failure, her boyfriend didn't love her anymore, and she was just a let-down to everyone around her. Her mind was a wreck of thoughts, and the pain was just too much for one girl to handle.
Some girls are strong, yet some cannot handle such burden of strength.
Taking out a piece of paper and a black pen, she scribbled a few words on there and snatched her brooch off of her uniform. This would be the last time she would walk over to his house, look him in the eye, and feel the pain that endured from him.
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"Usako, what are you doing here at this hour?" a sleepy Mamoru asked as he looked down at the petite beauty in front of him.
Looking up ever so slowly, she handed him a small package. He slowly took it from her, their hands brushing ever so slightly. Usagi jumped back, bowed her head down, and then walked away. Her shoes clicked against the hallway, fading, and then silence rang through the halls once again. Mamoru looked at the small package in his hand, then turned around and closed the door. After letting out a frustrated sigh, he flipped on a switch and opened the package that she had come to deliver late at night. The contents fell to the floor, consisting of her brooch and a small piece of paper. He picked up the items, and then diverted his attention to the paper. He unfolded it and looked at the delicate writing on the inside.
I'll always love you, Mamo-chan, but the scars time gives me cannot continue on much longer.
His eyes widened in horror, then a sharp pain struck his heart. He dropped the brooch and letter, turned around, and swiftly ran out the door.
Damn those dreams. Damn them.
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The air was warm for May; the wind was light, the stars were twinkling, and the moon was giving off a soft glow. She let the warmth engulf her body as she let her odango's down, her hair flying freely with the wind. She dropped her coat off of her body and reached into the pocket that lay within. In her hands now clutched a butcher knife that was once sitting in the strainer in her kitchen after having a large meal prepared by her mother. She looked down and stared at the beauty of the sharpness and the feel of the blade beneath her hands. She dropped her hand down to her side, then slowly walked a few feet from where her coat occupied. Tears were streaming down her face as she recalled the way Mamoru looked at her when he told her that he didn't love her anymore. Her eyes filled up with tears as she remembered how she crouched in the telephone booth and sobbed her heart out.
What was the use of staying here if her destiny was now broken?
Taking a deep breath, she ran. Her feet ran swifter than she could have ever imagined, then leapt as she came in contact with the ledge of land. She tilted her head back as she fell, feeling like an angel who had lost her wings. Taking the knife that was close by her side, she raised it up above her body and whispered ever so softly "Mamo-chan…" She plunged it into her stomach, blood flying everywhere as her body crashed into the water that streamed down below.
Her body sank into the chilly water slowly as she felt the blood seep out of her wound. This pain would be over with soon, all of the pain she felt would be over. Her body felt cold as she noticed she couldn't move anymore. The pain was vanishing. Her eyes struggled to keep open, and then she finally let go of her breath, sinking lower.
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Down by the river tumbled Mamoru through the dirt and rocks. He saw everything from the bridge; his heart had never hurt so much as it did before. His goddess… had every intention of death. And this was all because of him and his damn dreams. He hated himself so much and wanted to die, but one thing stopped him: saving his Usako.
Once he reached the bank, he jumped in the bloody mess that floated atop the water. He opened his eyes, and swam down to where he saw a mop of blonde hair sink lower. The blood was still leaking from her wound when he grabbed her, then came afloat once she was in his grasp. He swam over to the ledge, placing her gently on the bank. He ripped his shirt off and wrapped it around her wound in order to keep some blood within her body, then pressed his ear against her chest.
Her heart was beating. Weak, but still beating.
He looked up to see a few houses atop the cliff, one in particular that had their lights on. Not wanting to leave her side, he screamed as loud as he could for help. His cries sounded like he was in so much pain and agony, yet were so loud that a few houses flicked their lights on to see what the commotion was all about. An old man walked over to the balcony and looked to see a man waving his hands.
"What do ya want, youngin?! Some of us need our sleep!" the man bickered.
"Girl…. Suicide attempt…. Bleeding…. Hospital!! 911!" he managed to speak through his shaking body.
The other folks heard this, and one mid-aged woman ran out of her house and stumbled down the ledge. She approached them and looked at the blonde who was blue and red on the river bank.
"My goodness," she said in horror. "Ralph, call for an ambulance straight away!" the woman cried up to her husband who was also attempting to reach them at the ledge.
Mamoru looked down to the beauty who was now struggling to breathe. Letting out a sob from deep within, he took her in his arms and pressed her against his warm body.
"Gomen ne, Usako. Please be alright. I can't live without you!" he cried into the night.
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Mamoru's eyes were fixed on the beauty in pain hooked up to all sorts of machines in the back of the ambulance. Her pulse was weak and she was hooked up to a respirator to help her breathe, but her body was still cold. He held her small hand in his, rubbing his thumb against her cool fingers. He couldn't stand to see her in pain; it was hard enough watching her cry in that phone booth when they broke up, but this… this was the worst of all nightmares. And it was his entire fault. The knife, the jump, the blood… so much for protecting her from those dreams. Instead it brought her to a near death experience. He just hoped she would make it, he needed her by his side, destiny or not.
The ambulance soon arrived at the hospital, the doors in the back swinging open. The paramedics grabbed her stretcher and swiftly got her into the emergency room, Mamoru right behind them. Noises blared through the room, but Mamoru was numb to any noise. He saw a doctor stop him from going into the room where she was being worked on; now he stood in front of the door, seeing doctors and nurses surrounding her with needles and charts. He watched as they bandaged her wound up and gave her some shots; she didn't move a bit. After 10 minutes of staring into the window, he saw the door open and her being wheeled out. The nurses looked at him, then continued to wheel her down the hallway. He stared as the nurses disappeared, then heard a loud cry as a young woman and man ran up to him.
"Where is she?! What happened?! Mamoru-san! SAY SOMETHING!" a hysterical Ikuko Tsukino cried.
He looked down at her and saw her tears flow freely as she clung to his arm. Above her he saw Kenji with tears of worry and concern as he stared at Mamoru, his glare asking the same question.
All he could do was point. No words could form to tell the parents of the girl he loved that he had drove her to suicide. Ikuko ran to the receptionist and demanded to know what happened. He felt a piece of fabric placed on his shoulders; for a while there he forgot that he took off his shirt for Usako. He turned around to see Kenji looking at him, then gave him a manly embrace as he whispered "Arigato for finding my Usagi. Arigato." Tears cascaded down Mamoru's face as he felt Kenji grab his arm and lead him to his wife where they proceeded to follow a nurse to the room where Usagi was currently laying.
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He looked at her. Her body was hooked up to a respirator and a heart monitor, her face was returning from the pale white it once had, and her arm was hooked up to an IV that held her blood type: O. Her body looked so fragile covered in white. He sat down next to her and grabbed her hand as he placed his head next to hers. He wasn't going to leave her side until she awoke.
And no one was going to take that away from him.
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Konnichiwa, Minna-san! I have returned with YET another story. However, this is defiantly nothing I usually write about. Don't worry, I'm still going to continue on with IwY and MB, but this popped in my mind last night and well… I hope you enjoy! Comment and tell me if you think I should continue on or just make this a one-chapter. Sankyuu -;; Ja ne!