CHAPTER 21

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"So what does Matt think about everything?"

Lisa pulled her hair back into a twist and shrugged. "He wants to see Noah, and he already gave me money to help out with the baby."

Cindy smiled. "Why didn't you call him and ask him to come along with you?"

"I don't know. I didn't really think he'd be all that interested," Lisa said. Cindy dug around in her purse, taking out her cell phone. She handed it to Lisa and motioned for her to use it. "Call him."

"I don't know…"

"Just ask him. Tell him you thought that he might want to help pick out a few things. You'd be surprised how excited they get about it. Adam went crazy before Anthony was born. Besides, I always liked Matt," Cindy smiled.

Lisa nodded. "Yeah, I guess I could." Cindy stood outside her car, and within five minutes Lisa was finished using the phone.

"And?"

"He said he'd meet us there in twenty minutes," Lisa said, handing Cindy her phone back.

"Us? Who said anything about us? Take the car, go meet him, and then come back and show me what you bought. I'll head over to Mom's and break the ice for you a little bit, then I want both of you to show up and sit down to talk to our parents, kay?" Cindy said, giving Lisa a quick hug and handing her the keys to the Corolla.

Lisa stared at Cindy like she was crazy. "What are you, insane? You're giving me your car and your credit card?"

"Go before I change my mind," Cindy warned, heading back up the porch steps.

_______________________________________________

"I'm never helping anyone move again. Ever."

Mark tossed his bag onto the ground and launched himself onto the couch, shutting his eyes briefly. "C'mere," he added, sticking out his hand. Jackie walked towards him and pulled herself on top of him, resting her head on his chest. "I know you probably don't want to be here right now."

"Honestly Mark, I don't mind it that much," she said quietly.

"Lisa still isn't talking to me," he added. "I just wish she would tell me what's going on with her."

Jackie sighed, tracing her fingers lightly against his arms. "I don't know. Maybe she's afraid you'll be upset with her. There could be a million reasons."

"I know, but it's not making it any easier on her. Everyone's going to start asking questions, and then her stories aren't going to match up, and she'll basically screw herself into the ground."

"Why don't you try talking to her again?" Jackie suggested.

"Maybe I should. I just don't know what it is. She says some guy got her pregnant and that was it. Then she leaves out of nowhere to spend some time with her friend Danielle and shows up on my doorstep again with pneumonia. Then she has her baby three months early. Something's going on," Mark finished.

"Exactly, but for now just let her know you're here for her and I bet she'll come and talk to you about it."

"I hope so, at least," Mark said, rubbing Jackie's back. "I hope she gets back with Cindy soon too."

"Don't you remember what it was like to be seventeen? Or were you just such a dork?" Jackie laughed, kissing his forehead.

"Ha ha. You're starting to take over Roger's job."

"And that would be?"

"Making fun of me."

___________________________________________________________________

Lisa parked Cindy's Corolla in the Babies 'R Us parking lot fifteen minutes later. It was already nearing four, and the place was surprisingly empty for a Saturday afternoon.  She was dually shocked to find Matt standing outside the entrance, surveying the parking lot for her just as much as she was looking for him.

"Hey," she said, approaching him wistfully. "I hope I didn't screw up your plans or anything."

Matt shook his head and smiled. "Nope."

"Okay, so do you want to grab the shopping cart, or should I?"

"I'll get it." Lisa entered the store and shoved Cindy's keys into her pocket. Her breath caught in her throat when she noticed how tempting everything looked. Looking over at Matt, she perceived the same look on his face.

"Kind of…freaky isn't it?" she laughed.

"Yeah, " he laughed, following her into the first aisle. "Where should we start?"

Lisa looked around and pointed towards the cribs and bedding. "I guess with the bedding. Cindy already gave me her crib and I have it back at the loft…so we'll just need a bedding set and sheets?"

Lisa scanned the shelves, passing a few girl themes before finally maneuvering over to the boy themes. "What about this one?"

Matt shook his head. "Too antique. Kind of reminds me of the one my mom had for my Craig. I used to hate it."

Lisa pointed out a few more, and then finally spotted another out of the corner of her eye. "This one is perfect." The set was patterned with equal amounts of blue and green, and a giant moon was in centered in the middle. "It's cute—not too antique and definitely not too girlish."

"Yeah. I like that one." Matt took it off the shelf and placed it into the cart, following Lisa down the rest of the aisle.  "So um, how is he doing?"

"Well, he's small, but he's gaining as much weight as he's supposed to, and the doctors are really thrilled with that. He was 3 pounds, 2 ounces when he was born, but he already gained another five ounces, so he's a little over 3 pounds, 7 ounces right now. They're feeding him through an intravenous tube that goes through his mouth into his stomach, and they said that sometime this week they want me to try feeding him with a regular bottle to see how he responds. I got to hold him the other day," she replied. "We're going to need one of those." She tossed a mattress pad into the cart and continued looking around.

"That's good, right?"

"Yeah, it is. I'm sure you can hold him when we go up there."

"I don't want to hurt him or anything," Matt said quietly.

Lisa touched his arm gently, trying to get him to look at her. "Hey listen—I pushed you away, okay? I guess I figured that I could handle everything alone, but I couldn't, and that's why I went to Mark, and why I called you today."

"But we're okay again? We're not gonna throw away the year we were together, are we?" he asked.

"I don't want to. I did, but I don't anymore. I'm just really overwhelmed right now. I still don't know what I'm going to do about graduation. I missed two months already," she said.

"Yeah, but you've always had extra credits, right? You could come up to the school on Monday and talk to your counselor and see if you can work out something with her. You'll probably only need to really focus on Composition and Lit, AP Chem, and Trig," Matt suggested, pointing out the matching sheet set. "Our kid's gonna be spoiled."

"Probably," she laughed. "I guess I could come to school on Monday and see if I can get my schedule straightened out. The only problem is, I'm still considered "kicked out" by my father, and Noah's in NICU in Mount Sinai. So either I'll have to stay in Scarsdale, go to school, drive back to the city everyday to live with Mark so I'll be closer to Noah, or I'll stay in Scarsdale, go to school, live here, and still end up driving back everyday to see him."

Matt nodded and looked thoughtful for a few minutes as Lisa found the matching mobile to go with the crib bedding. "What if you stayed with me until graduation? My whole family loves you."

"I could do that, and the building that Mark lives in has some vacant apartments, and well—I'm good friends with the landlord, Benny. They're decent, and they're pretty cheap for the city, and since you're going to be at NYU in the fall, then maybe we could get a place there? If you want to live in a dorm I understand, but I'll probably end up getting one on my own then. I can't rely on Mark all the time, and his place is crowded enough already," she sighed.

"I want to pay for it then," Matt said firmly. "I'm guaranteed freshman housing, but I'd rather live in my own apartment with you and our son."

Lisa raised an eyebrow at him. "Do you mean that?"

"Of course I do. Lisa you know me well enough to know that I wouldn't just say something like that."

"Why are you being so good to me after I treated you like shit? I don't deserve any of this—or you either," she laughed.

"Because I still love you."

Lisa looked away quickly, and then back at him. "I know." Things were awkward for a few seconds, until Matt cleared his throat.

"Hey, there's baby toys over there!" he said, a grin spreading over his face. He grabbed her hand, pulling her along with him.

"Oh god, here we go."

_______________________________________

An hour later, Matt was attempting to load everything in the back of his Jeep, while Lisa was taking the smaller bags and placing them in the back of Cindy's Corolla.

"How does Chinese sound?" Matt asked.

"Good. I'm starving, but I'm just letting you know that I need to run over to my parents house and have a talk with them. Cindy already mentioned that she'd "break the ice" for me," Lisa said, rolling her eyes.

"Yeah, that's fine."

By 5:30, Matt and Lisa had pulled separately into the Cohen driveway. Both cars were in the driveway, meaning that her mother and father were home.

"No turning back now," she muttered under her breath, turning off the ignition and sliding out of the car. Matt was already waiting for her, and he had his hand held out. Lisa placed her own in it and together they started up the driveway, only letting go to knock on the door. What seemed like an eternity was only a minute, and as her mother's face appeared behind the screen door, Lisa took a deep breath to steady her breathing.

"Lisa? Oh honey…how's my baby girl?" Mrs. Cohen said, wrapping her arms around her daughter in a tight hug. "How are you feeling? And how's my grandson?" She noticed Matt standing there and gave him a hug as well. "I haven't seen you in forever."

"Hi Mrs. Cohen," he answered.

Lisa eyed her mother suspiciously. Eva Cohen was notorious for having mood swings like the weather, but sometimes she wondered if her mother had it all together. "I'm feeling better, just a little sore still. Noah's responding really well to everything—the antibiotics, the respirator, and feeding. I got to hold him the other day, and he was breathing on his own, but they put him back on the respirator just in case," she answered. Matthew closed the door behind him and took of his jacket as Lisa did the same.

"Here, let me take those," Eva smiled, placing the coats in the hall closet. "Why don't you both have a seat and I'll go get your father."

Lisa nodded and took a seat in the recliner, Matt on the couch facing her.

"How'd it go you guys?" Cindy asked, entering the living room. Lisa handed her the keys to her car back and smiled.

"It went pretty well. We bought the bedding for the crib, and a bunch of bath and feeding stuff. I used the money Matt gave me, and we even got the changing table too, along with a stroller."

"Okay. Guess you didn't want to spend my money, huh?" Cindy teased, giving Lisa a quick hug. "I talked to Mom and Dad. They're pretty open to anything you say to them right now. Surprising, isn't it?"

"Yeah. I think Mark broke them in," Lisa joked.

"Okay, well I gotta go, but good luck!" she said, giving Lisa the thumbs up before putting her jacket on.

"Oh, I have a few bags in your trunk," Lisa remembered, standing up.

"My Jeep's open, so I could get them?" Matt suggested.

Cindy shook her head. "Nah, I'll just move them for you. It's not a problem. See ya tomorrow guys." She left, slamming the front door behind her.

Eva reentered the room, followed by Gene.

"Hi Dad," Lisa said. Gene walked over and gave her a kiss and a hug before sitting down.

"You're home," he said. "I'm glad."

"Really?" she asked, tucking her feet underneath her.

"Well, I had a talk with your mother and your sister. I never meant to kick you out of the house—in fact I know now that I was quite wrong for doing so, but everything came as such a shock to us. I just want to let you know that you'll always have a home here, even though I know you love living with your brother in the city, although I can't imagine how anyone could love living in that—"

Eva glared at him and cleared her throat. "What your father means, sweetie, is that we're supportive of whatever decisions you make from now on, okay? We admit, we did overreact, but it was such a shock to see our baby having a baby of our own."

"I know."

"And you, young man, are taking full responsibility for your son, I hope?" Gene said sternly, staring him down.

"Yes sir." Matt nodded.

"That's what we want to talk to you about. Basically, I've decided that I want to finish out my senior year here in Scarsdale, and Monday I'm planning on going to school to see my counselor to see if I can make up the grades for the two months I missed."

"You had extra credits anyway, sweetie, so I don't think it would be a problem," Eva said.

"Exactly. So I was hoping that I'd either live at Mark's and drive to school to be closer to Noah, or I'd stay home and go to school. Either way I'll see Noah everyday," Lisa said calmly. "Matt offered to let me stay at his house, but if it's okay with both of you, maybe he could stay here a few nights a week and I could stay there too—at least until graduation?" She saw her parents glance at themselves in apprehension.

"Well…I don't have an particular objections, seeing as you already have a child together and there's not much else that could be done," Gene joked. "But if you both live under our roof, you'll need to follow our rules, which means curfew at midnight and we know where you are at all times. Have you talked to your parents about this, Matt?"

"A little bit. I might bring Lisa over there later tonight to really talk to them about it. I don't think they'll have any problems with it."

"What about college, for both of you?" Eva asked.

"I'm already enrolled at NYU for the fall," Matt started. "And I'm guaranteed freshman housing, but Lisa and I were discussing getting an apartment in the same building as Mark's—something that we could have to ourselves. This way I could see Noah all the time, and help Lisa out too."

"That's very mature of you, Matthew. Most guys your age wouldn't have stuck around or even admitted they had a child," Eva smiled at him. "Although I'm a little wary of you living in that apartment building, I suppose having Mark around to keep an eye on you Lisa wouldn't be that bad."

"Thanks Mom."

"So what's the game plan then?" Gene boomed.

"For now, I'll finish out senior year and hopefully graduate. I'll live at home, I guess going back and forth between our house and Matt's. Noah probably won't be released until late May or early June, and by then we should have the apartment and the nursery will be finished—"

"And we'll be moved in," Matt added.

"Exactly. Then we'll live in the city for the summer, Matt will go off to NYU in the fall, and hopefully I can get accepted somewhere and take some classes."

"I'll get a part time job," Matt said, looking up.

"Well damn, looks like you kids have everything figured out. Now only if we could have Mark make some sense of his life, we'll be all set and ready to retire to Florida," Gene laughed.

"We're very proud of you Lisa, for sitting down and talking to us like this and maturely handling the situation. I don't think I could have handled it if I was in your shoes. Cindy would have been a basket case, that's for sure," Eva said.

"Is that all you want to take about, Lisa? Because there's a damn good football game on right now," Gene teased, standing up.

"Gene!" Eva shouted at him. "Don't be rude."

"Yeah, that was about it," Lisa smiled.

"There's some pizza in the kitchen, so if you want, help yourself. Your brother's supposed to stop by later. What's this I hear about his new girlfriend from Mrs. Davis?" she said.

Lisa shook her head. Her mother was retreating back to her old self over Mark. "She's really nice Mom, don't worry. Her name's Jackie, and she's pretty, a dancer."

"Hmm, we'll see." Mrs. Cohen left the living room and returned to the kitchen, leaving Matt and Lisa alone.

"Is it just me or was that not supposed to go that well?" Matt laughed.

"Yeah…I really thought I was going to catch a lot of shit. So how about that pizza?"

"Sure. I just want to grab something for my car though."

"Okay." Matt left, and Lisa went into the kitchen, grabbing two plates and two slices of pizza before bringing them back to her room. She placed them on her dresser before turning on her light. She hadn't been in her room for two months now, and it still looked exactly the same as she left it, down to the outfit she had planned to wear to school the day she decided to leave for the city. Pictures of her and Matt were scattered around the room, along with pictures of various friends she hadn't heard from in an equally long time. She sat on her bed, Indian style, and was in the middle of taking a good, long look around her room again when Matt came in, knocking before he entered.

"Hey," he said. "I brought drinks. Coke okay?"

"Yeah, that's fine," Lisa said, taking the drink from him and setting it down next to her untouched pizza.

"You okay?"

"Oh—yeah, just thinking. Have you heard from well, any of them?

"Sometimes. Fuck what they think, Lisa. They're going to talk shit, and there's nothing you can do about it. If they were really your friends, they would have called, wouldn't they?"

Lisa nodded. "That's true. What's that?" she asked, pointing to a book in his hand.

Matt smiled and came over to sit next to her. "I made this for your birthday, but when you left, I didn't know when I was going to see you again, so I just kept it in my car for the longest time I was eventually gonna give it to your parents. It's a memory book, of all our pictures."

Lisa smiled as he handed it to her. She rested her head against her shoulder and opened to the first page. "Oh my god," she laughed. "Homecoming of junior year. I can't believe you kept that picture," pointing at the caption on next to it. Matt was decked out in his football uniform, with Lisa in her cheerleading uniform on his shoulders. He was crossing his eyes goofily, and she was laughing. "What a weirdo you were."

"Hey, you weren't any better," Matt laughed playfully. They were both curled up together on her bed, Lisa's head resting on his arm and his other free arm wrapped around her waist. "Oooh Maria's party."

"Don't even go there. We got so wasted," she laughed.

"I know."

They spent the next half hour flipping through the photo album, laughing and sometimes frowning at the memories each picture brought with it. By now, the pizza was cold and untouched. Lisa continued to smile. Christmas, two weeks after he finally asked her out; New Year's Eve '96; Valentine's Day; Lisa clapping for him at Matt's track meets in the spring; the last day of junior year; the pool; the beach; hanging out at home. Random goofy shots, serious ones, and hysterical ones. The first football game of senior year, homecoming once again, Halloween, and then—they stopped.

"That's all I have—for now," Matt said quietly.

Lisa closed the book and smiled. "Thank you." She leaned up to kiss him, running her fingers through his hair.

"You're welcome." He pulled out a camera from his hoodie and waved it at her. He grabbed her around her waist and started tickling her, Lisa squirming all over the place and laughing at the same time.

"Smile!"

________________________________________________________

"Where's that good for nothing son of ours?"

"Frank, please," Sandra said calmly, resting her hand on his arm. "It won't help."

"Did he show up high this time too?" Frank yelled out, slamming his briefcase on the table.

"No—he's clean sweetheart."

"Goddammit Sandy, stop protecting him! You've always protected him, always stood up for him, and look how he's turned out, wasting away in his dump in the city."

Roger stood up; Mimi still curled up on his bed.

"Don't Roger. Let it go," Mimi begged him, reaching out for him.

"No. If he's got something to say to me, he can say it to my fucking face. I'm not letting him talk to my mom like that," Roger said, leaving his room and walking down the hallway. His father was in the living room, deep in conversation with his mother. "Hi Dad."

"Don't give me that hi dad bullshit. What are you doing here? Are you high?" Frank asked, walking closer to him.

Roger shook his head. "As much as you would have liked me to show up her high, I've been clean for almost two years."

"It's about time."

Lindsey appeared in the living room, Marissa resting on her hip. "What's going on?"

"I'm just letting your brother know how much of a failure he is and I'd appreciate if you stayed out of it."

"What, do you get off on talking to people like that?" Roger spat at him, getting in his face. "You've talked to us like this ever since we were little. The only one you adored was fucking Heather. Perfect Heather. Then Jimmy. They were fucking PERFECT in your eyes, and what we were? Absolutely nothing. We're not eleven years old anymore. We're fucking adults, and I'm not taking this bullshit from you anymore!"

"Lindsey take Marissa downstairs," Sandra ordered. Lindsey agreed, and left the room immediately.

"What bullshit? You brought everything on yourself! Fucking shooting up, and showing up here high off your ass. You've done nothing to your life except get your girlfriend pregnant. What about money, Roger? Oh that's right, you don't have any, because you wasted it all away with drugs."

Roger was fuming by now. "Don't you ever fucking bring her into this. Guess what dad? I'm going to be a better father to my kid then you ever were to me. I don't care if that makes me pathetic in your eyes, but my baby is going to be loved—more than you or mom ever gave me. I don't care if I don't have any money, but I'd rather live in a shitty loft with my best friend than in a courtroom with a stick shoved up my ass."

"Get out of my house," Frank shouted, pointing towards the door. "GET OUT."

"Gladly. Mimi, let's go," Roger shouted, walking back down the hall to grab their things. She followed timidly, grabbing onto his arm the whole time. Mark and Jackie were standing, motionless, in the kitchen. "By the way, I have HIV and I'll probably die soon anyway, or isn't that what you want? Later Mark."

"Yeah…" Mark said, lost for words.

Roger flung the duffel bag into the backseat and pulled out of the driveway before Mimi could even shut her door. He sped through the residential streets of Scarsdale, slowing down when he merged onto the Bronx River Parkway. Through all this, Mimi said nothing, staring out the window. Twenty minutes later, the car was still silent. She knew how Roger could get, and she didn't particularly feel like pissing him off even more by adding her opinion.

"Roger?" she asked quietly.

"What?" he said, looking at her angrily. When she didn't answer right away, he tried again, calmly. "What?"

"I'm sorry about everything," she said. Roger shrugged and pulled into the parking lot at the back of the loft, taking the key out of the ignition and sitting in silence for a few minutes.

"It's not your fault he's an asshole. He's always been that way," he said finally. "As far as I'm concerned, he's not invited to the wedding or aloud to see our baby. If my mom and Lindsey want to come down, that's fine, but I don't want to see him."

Mimi nodded and opened the car door, stepping out into the frozen March air. "I don't care who comes, Roger. We don't have the money for a big wedding."

"I told you to stop worrying about the money," he added, climbing up the stairs as she followed.

"But we don't have any," she said, raising her voice a little. "How are we supposed to raise a baby when we can barely take care of ourselves. You're never home, and when you are you're always too tired." She slammed the loft door behind her. "It's fucking freezing in here."

"Well excuse me for trying to do something with my life for once instead of dancing around a pole all night," he argued with her, slamming down the glass he had just drank out of to take his pills.

Mimi whipped around and glared at him. "Fuck you."

"When?"

Mimi's eyes narrowed at him. "Excuse me?"

"Maybe I should bring Benny over—"

"I fucking hate you. I can't believe I ever agreed to marry you."

"I can't believe I ever thought we could fix our fucking problems," he shouted back at her.

"OUR fucking problems? More like YOUR problems, Roger. It's been three years and you're still sulking over April, over heroin, over yourself. You're back to the same routine—hanging out with the guys, never coming home. What's next, fucking some random girl behind my back?" she yelled out, her eyes watering.

"YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT APRIL!"

"I'm done arguing with you. I'm going to lie down. I didn't feel good in the first place, but you just make me fucking sick sometimes. As much as I really love you, I hate you right now," she said, slamming the door to their room so hard the picture rattled on the wall.

Roger took one look at the door and stormed out of the loft himself.

______________________________________________

Mimi had just stepped out of the shower and was running some gel through her curls when she heard a knock at the door. Slipping into a pair of sweatpants and making sure her robe was tied around her, she reentered the cold loft and opened the door to find none other than Maureen standing outside.

"Surprise!" she screeched, running in and giving Mimi a hug. "Oh sweetie, it's so cold in here!"

"Yeah. The heater broke. Want some coffee?" she offered monotonously, making her way into the kitchen. "You're home for the weekend?"

"Yup. I have some news…I'm engaged!" she blurted out, practically dancing around the living room. Mimi forced a smile and poured two cups of coffee, setting them down on the kitchen counter.

"Huh, so am I. Or well, I was," Mimi said, trying to be enthusiastic but failing miserably at it. Maureen noticed the glum expression on her face and immediately tried to cheer her up.

"Oh Meems, what happened? Did you guys get into another fight?"

"Something like that. We went up to Scarsdale this weekend with everyone to visit and to help Lindsey move into her apartment, and everything was fine until Roger's dad got home, and then all hell broke loose. It was horrible. We came back here, and got into a fight, I told him I never should have agreed to marry him and he stormed out."

"Honey, you know how he is. He'll be back. I know it," Maureen said, smiling at her. "His mood swings are notorious."

"I know that, but how are we supposed to plan a wedding and get ready for the baby when we can't keep from shouting about every little thing that goes wrong? I told him I wanted to get married in May, because we'd have no time to get married after the baby's born because we'll be so busy, but now it's like—he's always at the club and never home. I can't rely on him if he's never around to help me out." She took a sip of her coffee and shrugged. "Where's Chad?"

"Downstairs sleeping. The jet lag wore him out," Maureen smiled.

"More like you wore him out. So when's this wedding supposed to take place?"

"Well, we were thinking about New Year's Eve of this year, just to put a little twist on it. It'll probably be huge—all of Chad's extended family is going to attend and people from the company along with friends. We're talking about an easy 500 people. Of course I want you to be my maid of honor, or matron of honor, whichever one it is. We're most likely going to have it in Los Angeles, because that's where his family lives. I guess we could always fly mine out from Chicago, although I haven't spoken to my parents in over a year now." Maureen rambled.

"Calm down before you blow a fuse in the place. I still have to plan my own wedding—or lack thereof," Mimi added sarcastically, stirring her coffee.

"How much longer until you find out what you're having?" Maureen asked, sipping her coffee as well before drawing her jacket closer around her shoulders.

"Good question. I'd say in April. I need to get back to the doctor soon."

"I still can't get over the fact that you're having a baby. It hasn't hit me yet," Maureen said, shivering a little.

"Hit you? It hasn't really hit me yet either," Mimi said, cracking a smile. "I don't know what kind of Mom I'm going to be. That's what scares me."

"I think everyone worries about what kind of Mom they'll be. Joanne and I used to talk about kids sometimes, but—whatever, I'm not going into her right now."

"Are you inviting her to the wedding? I'm sure that'll go over really well," Mimi teased.

"Hah. Funny. I bet Benny at yours will blow the fucking roof off the church."

"Better get the bells and whistles ready ahead of time," Mimi said, laughing. "I guess Hawaii's up in the air for now."

Maureen's eyes practically bulged out of her head. "Oh sweetie, you should go! I bet all you both need is to just get out of the city and spend sometime alone without Mark, Roger's band, or anyone up your ass. It'll help."

"I guess. I hope he comes home soon," Mimi added, checking the clock on the wall. "It's almost 9."

"Shit, is it really? I told Chad I'd be home by 9 anyway. I have some things for Noah back at my place, and I wanted to give them to Lisa, but—when is she getting back?" Maureen questioned.

"Sunday night, I think? I'm not really sure. We left in such a hurry I didn't even say goodbye to Mark and Jackie, and Lisa was out with Cindy."

Maureen made a face at the mention of Cindy. "Well, I guess I'll bring everything by tomorrow. Tell Roger to get his act together or I'll kick his ass with my five inch boots," she threatened.

"I'll be sure to pass along that message Mo. It'll go over real well," Mimi laughed.

"Did you—um, did you see the marks on Lisa's arm that night? When she went into labor?" Maureen asked quietly.

Mimi shook her head. "No, not really. Why?"

"I don't know. You can't tell Mark this, okay? Because he'll flip."

"Yeah, okay. What?"

"They looked like track marks, at least that's what Roger said," Maureen said, almost checking to see if anyone was listening in on her conversation.

"Why would she--? That's serious; I mean, I would know, right? And so would Roger. You're right, Mark would definitely flip, but it doesn't match it. I know how someone acts when they're high, especially on heroin, and I've been around her so much lately and she's been acting completely normal. Even Mark would notice the symptoms."

"Maybe she's stopped, god I hope so at least."

"Maybe we're just all jumping to conclusions. I bet there's an explanation for everything," Mimi added.

"Let's hope so."

Around 11, Roger reentered the loft, making sure to shut the door quietly behind him. He had spent the last four hours walking around the city, trying to clear his head, and even ended up at Collins and Dan's apartment for some much needed advice. Collins took so much pity on him he even let him borrow his extra space heater, bringing the loft's grand total to three.

He found Mimi stretched out on the couch, two blankets wrapped around her. The television was reflecting off her small-rimmed reading glasses that she wore occasionally, since she often complained that her contacts were starting to irritate her eyes. He had to admit, they looked cuter on her than on, well—Mark. He continued staring at her, thinking she was asleep, until she moved her head and looked right back at him.

"Hey," she said calmly, although Roger sensed some coldness evident in her tone.

"Hi," he answered, just as coolly as she had.

"Where were you?"

"I uh—well I took a walk around the city, and then I stopped at Collins' place and borrowed his extra heater, and if you don't believe me, you can ask him yourself."

Mimi shrugged. "Why wouldn't I believe you?"

"I don't know." Roger took a seat next to her and studied the TV. "What are you watching?"

"A biography on VH1 on Jimi Hendrix," she answered, handing some of the blanket down to him. After ten minutes of watching the biography silently, she eventually curled up against him, and he wrapped his arm around her body.

"I'm sorry about everything I said before. I didn't mean it—I was stressed and I shouldn't have taken it out on you. I swear I'll try to be home more often," he apologized, his eyes begging her for forgiveness.

"I'm sorry too. I shouldn't have brought up those things—it wasn't the right time," she replied, yawning. "I don't hate you either."

"So we're okay? And still semi engaged?" he joked, stretching his arms over his head.

"Yeah, we are. We're patched."

"Good, because I'm tired. Wanna make it an early night?" he asked, turning off the TV.

Mimi nodded and yawned once again. "I'm too lazy to get up right now."

"Then I guess I'll have to carry you to bed."

"As seductive as that sounds, I'm way too tired to even think about that," she laughed.

"Damn," he teased, picking her up effortlessly and walking with her to the bedroom. He placed her gently on the bed before going back to get the heater and plug it in with the two other that were still in the room. "Tonight's the first night we've had the loft to ourselves in awhile."

"We have tomorrow morning too," Mimi winked at him, half asleep underneath the sheets.

Roger climbed in next to her and kissed her forehead. "Good, because I'm taking you up on that. I love you."

"I love you too. Night."

Roger reached over and turned out the light, quickly falling into a deep sleep.