Looking After
By Aycelcus
Disclaimer: I own nothing. I know nothing. Go away.
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Hurt/Comfort, Abuse, and Possible Slash in later chapters.
Author's Notes: This story was originally titled: My Obligatory Clichéd Snape-Finds-Abused-Harry Slashfic. I began this one day at work when I was bored out of my skull, and attached to the phones instead of my normal job. The whole thing was supposed to be a joke… a play on all of the hurt/comfort slashfics I have read. However.. it… doesn't suck… in my opinion. It seems to be wanting to take itself more seriously than I had intended. And I am unsure as to whether it is a slashfic or not… thus the rating. I don't know whether I am continuing it… it's taking a long time to write… I suppose I will continue if you readers wish it so. Review, and let me know.
Looking After
When there is no reason
Tonight I am awake
When there is no answer
Arrive, the silent man.
When there is no balance
Tonight he is awake
If they have to suffer
There lies the silent man
There lies the silent man…"
The Silent Man – Dream Theatre
Severus Snape stood in front of Dumbledore's desk and tried not to twitch. He could feel the muscles above his right eye tensing as he attempted to process the Headmaster's incomprehensible request.
"You want me," he repeated slowly, desire in every syllable for his ears to have heard wrong, "to go to Potter's muggle residence and check up on him?"
"Yes," replied Dumbledore, seemingly unaware (or uncaring) that Snape was growing irritated. "I need you to make sure that everything is alright. I would send another Professor, but everyone is so busy right now…"
Severus growled in the back of his throat, and rubbed a finger across the prominent bridge of his nose. "Surely you don't think the boy needs looking after? It is summer break. You coddle the child too much as it is—" Then he paused.
Dumbledore was old, and Severus had long suspected him to be quite insane, but he was crafty and cunning and controlled his features well. Therefore, the momentary expression that flitted across the Headmaster's features was startling in its openness.
"No," the Headmaster sighed sadly, his voice so soft that Severus had to strain to hear him. "I don't think Harry has been coddled enough."
The Potions Master frowned, and a crease appeared across his forehead. "Fine," he said grudgingly. "I will go check up on the boy."
Dumbledore seemed pleased by this, and returned his attention to his teacup. He poked the spoon around the edges, and remarked. "The leaves suggest that this visit may be important." The twinkle was back in his eye, and Severus sighed heavily.
"Albus, you are aware that I don't hold with such nonsense. And, I must say, one Trelawney is enough." He punctuated his words by standing up, and made his way to the door.
"Of course," the Headmaster said solemnly, as Snape exited his office. Then the Headmaster let his smile drop, and fiddled with the saucer. "I don't need the leaves to guess what may occur…"
Severus flooed to Diagon Alley, and then apparated to a point not far from Potter's muggle residence. Operating on the principle of "the sooner done, the sooner done with", he made his way in all haste to the rather unremarkable-looking front door of Number 4 Privet Drive. He rapped his knuckles sharply on the painted wood, and waited.
He didn't have to wait long. From inside the residence he could hear a shrill voice snap, "Get the door!" And what sounded like a murmured reply. Footsteps sounded, and then the door swung open on its hinges, revealing a disheveled boy draped in clothes far too big for his slight frame. Large green eyes blinked owlishly behind black-rimmed glasses, and then widened as Harry Potter recognized Snape. Or at least one eye widened, the other was swollen nearly shut by a rather spectacular bruise.
"Professor!" he exclaimed in shock.
"Potter," Severus growled back. "Whatever happened to your face, Potter? Fall off your broom again?" He drawled in a manner that was vaguely Malfoyish in tone.
One of Potter's hands come up to cover his eye as his mouth set into a small, perfect "oh" of surprise. The he seemed to rein in his reaction as his brow scrunched up and he looked away. "Fell down the stairs." He said in a flat voice. It was obvious to Severus that he was being lied to, and that didn't set well with the Potion's Master.
Potter had opened his mouth to speak again, resentment and anger written clearly on his face, when the shrill voice sounded out again. Potter's demeanor changed suddenly, all of his anger fading in an instant. Instead the boy cringed in a reflexive manner, his head dropping and his shoulders tightening as if against an invisible blow. He called back to the voice tentatively.
"It's… one of my professors at school…"
Another voice joined the first, this one loud and booming. "What do you mean, boy?" And it was followed by the appearance of one of the widest muggles Snape had ever seen. The landmass making its way towards the door stopped, and paled at the sight of Snape.
"What is that doing here?" The fat man boomed. "Did I not say you weren't to be writing lies to those freak friends of yours?" With every successive syllable, Potter seemed to shrink even more in on himself. Then the muggle looked directly at Severus and frowned. "What do you want?" He asked as a thin woman came hurrying down the hallway towards them with an impossibly wide boy in tow. Severus could hear the boy whispering nastily to the woman as Potter cringed even more. Meanwhile, he could feel himself becoming more and more furious as the seconds passed. As Potter was cringing, he had caught a glimpse of purple encircling his thin wrists. Dumbledore, loath as Severus was to admit it, was right: the boy wasn't being coddled; he was being abused!
"I am here to ascertain Mr. Potter's well-fare. It has come to the attention of the Headmaster of Hogwarts that Potter may not be in the best of situations. I am becoming distinctly conscious that that is indeed the case." Severus' voice dropped lower and colder with every word, as the great pudding of a man slowly turned purple. One of his large paws grabbed at Potter's thin shoulder, and the boy started sharply.
"Now see here, this boy was left in my charge, and I will not be told how to look after him! Especially not by one of you!" He shook Potter hard as he boomed. Potter's eyes had closed tightly, and he bit his lip so hard that it became bloodlessly white.
Severus' eyes narrowed. He gave Potter a sweeping glace with his eye. However many years he may have wished to see the boy brought low, this was not quite what he had intended. It bothered him beyond measure to see the sixteen-year-old looking so small and white. The Gryffindor should have been angry and brave in resistance, not pale and weak in fear.
The Severus looked back up at the muggle. His wand slipped neatly into his palm, and he raised his hand up and pointed the slim shaft of wood at Vernon Dursley.
"This boy is no longer in your charge. I am relieving you of your duty. Now release him. He is coming with me. Now."
It amused Severus to watch Mr. Dursley, for aside from spells and potions, he had never seen a human turn such colors. The thin woman gasped and the whale-child whimpered. Vernon Dursley sputtered a moment, as Harry looked up from under the grip on his shoulder, stunned. Severus Snape, the snarky Potions Master of Hogwarts, was sticking up for him. Surely he must be dreaming.
Dursley finally pushed Potter forward with a hard shove. "Here, then! Take him! I want no part of him, the freak! Take him and get out of my sight!"
Potter stumbled into Snape, hands clutching his robes as he fought to keep from falling. Without thought, Severus wrapped his free arm around the thin boy, preventing him from sinking to the ground.
"His things, as well." Severus snapped, and pointed meaningfully with his wand. Mr. Dursley scoffed. He walked down the hall to a small cupboard under the stairs. He shakily unlocked it with an old key, and threw open the small door.
"There," he said. And he gestured crudely in the direction of the cupboard. Snape strode down to the little alcove, unceremoniously dragging Harry along with him, and saw Potter's school trunk sitting there, where no doubt it had been all summer. He glanced sharply at Potter, who cringed away from him a little, although he did not unclench his fists from Severus' robes. Severus was certain that the fabric was now permanently wrinkled from his small fingers.
"Is this everything?" He asked, his wand arm sweeping across the trunk, which shrunk suddenly. Behind him, he could hear Dursley draw his breath sharply.
Potter's voice sounded small and tentative in the hall, and his expression as he looked into the cupboard was unreadable. "My wand, and Hedwig, and a f-few other things are upstairs, sir."
Snape nodded, and picked up the hand-sized trunk, stowing it in one of the voluminous pockets of his robes. "Upstairs, then."
This time, Potter did let go of Snape's robes, almost self-consciously, as if he had just noticed that he had been clutching them. "Yes, sir." He mumbled, and stepped carefully around the Dursleys.
Severus followed him up the stairs. They passed two large bedrooms, which he guessed where the domains of the Dursleys. Harry paused at the farthest door, pushing it open. The door was nearly covered in locks above the knob.
Harry shuffled in to the sparsely furnished room, and went over to the cage in the corner. Inside sat the snowy owl that Severus had seen with Harry before. "Hey, Hedwig." He murmured to the owl, which hooted softly to him. "It's time to go." Then he placed the cage on the floor, and pushed the bed aside.
Severus examined with a critical eye Potter's room as Harry popped at loose board up from where it had been hidden by the small bed. The room was by far the smallest in the house, and it did not miss Snape's attention that there were heavy iron bars affixed to the window. The room looked very much like a badly decorated prison cell.
Out of the corner of his eye, Snape watched Potter take out his wand, slipping it surreptitiously into the back pocket of his too-large jeans. Then he pulled out what looked like a photo album, carefully stowing it in one of the pillowcases. Finally, a long, flowing piece of fabric emerged, fabric whose pattern twisted and distorted subtly, spilling among the boy's slender fingers like molten silver. Severus would bet his best potion that what Potter was now stuffing into the ratty pillowcase was an invisibility cloak. How the boy acquired such a thing, Snape could not guess.
Repressing an urge to snap at Potter to hurry up, Severus waited as he carefully picked up the pillowcase and the owl's cage. Finally, after shifting the impromptu suitcase over his shoulder and hefting the cage up against his chest, Harry looked tentatively up to Snape.
"Ready." He said softly. Severus looked for a long moment at Potter, taking in his mismatched appearance, the starkly white color of his skin in contrast with the purple of his bruises. Then he sniffed quietly and turned neatly on his heel, his robes billowing dramatically.
"Come along, then." He commanded, and led the silent boy out of the little cell-room, down the stairs, and past the muggle family, who was still standing there, angry and frightened in turns. Out the door of Number 4 Privet Drive, and down the street, Severus' long strides eating up the distance, Harry struggling to keep up.
Potter stumbled once, falling heavily to the street with a small hiss of pain. There was a crash and a startled hoot as the owl's cage hit the asphalt. Snape halted and turned around as Harry struggled up from the ground, murmuring to Hedwig in a low, comforting tone. He was wincing, and there was blood at his knees and hands where they had been scraped by the rough surface of the street.
"Perhaps walking is too much of a task for you," Severus snapped nastily, but even as the cruel words fell from his lips he was moving to help Potter up. One hand grasped the owl's cage, opening the latch. He looked steadily at the owl, which hooted in surprise, looking confusedly back and forth from her master to the Professor. "Fly." Snape said to the bird. "Follow us." And the owl, looking one more time at Harry, leapt from the cage and took to the air. Snape quickly shrunk the cage and pocketed it, and then turned back to Potter. Potter had paused in his attempts to regain his feet during the release of Hedwig, one bleeding hand at one bleeding knee, partially levered from the ground.
Severus said nothing, simply took the fallen pillowcase in one hand, performing the shrinking spell once more. He then took Potter's arm in his wand-less hand, pulling him up to his feet. Potter could do nothing, immersed in shock, as the Potions Master picked him up.
Harry opened his mouth to protest, red tingeing his cheeks in mortification, but Snape cut off his words.
"Keep quiet, Potter. Making a scene in the middle of a muggle street is less than wise. Understand I do this only to expedite our leaving."
Harry fell silent, unable to do otherwise. Severus strode swiftly and silently away from Privet Drive. Harry glanced back one last time at Number 4, trying not to think about anything. He tried not to think about the Dursleys, tried not to think about the long, difficult summer, tried not to think about the empty, achy pit in his belly that was a combination of starvation and desperate grief. Harry had never forgotten that once he had a chance to live with his Godfather, and that Sirius had died because of him. But mostly, Harry tried not to think about the way he was held firmly in Snape's arms, or the warmth of the man through his robes. It was an embarrassment beyond mortification, and it was only the knowledge that they were not yet away from the Dursleys and Privet Drive that kept him from struggling with all of his strength to get down. He would have gladly walked on broken glass, rather than be cradled in his Potions Master's surprisingly gentle grip.
Severus himself was not pleased at the need to carry Potter, but he wasn't stupid: Harry was at the end of his strength, and would have stumbled more and more. And he was so thin; Severus hardly felt his weight. It bothered him, and it bothered him even more that he was bothered. It disturbed him greatly to see Harry in such a condition. So he simply walked a little faster, Potter laying lightly in his arms and heavily on his mind.
They reached the disapparation point without being spotted or detained by muggles. Potter looked confused when Severus paused, and attempted to get down. Severus gave him a warning squeeze, and Potter quieted, completely unsure of what to do.
"Close your eyes."
Potter looked at Snape, flabbergasted. "What?"
Snape just repeated himself. "Close your eyes. It will make disapparation easier. It can be disconcerting the first time, especially when you aren't… " He looked down at the boy in his arms. He cleared his throat.
"Just close your eyes, Potter."
Potter closed his eyes; fingers scrunching up at Snape's robes in a way that Severus feared was becoming a habit, and waited. Severus looked at him for a long moment, really looked at him. Delicate face set in a nervous expression as he waited, long lashes sooty against his pale cheek under his glasses. He looked very young for a brief span, those intensely green eyes that had seen too much hidden beneath translucent lids. Severus sighed, and dissapparated.
Harry did not know what to expect. Being as he was an underage wizard, he had never apparated or disapparated before. He had always kind of figured that it would feel a little like the way a port-key felt. There would be a pull, and it would drag him mercilessly along in its wake. But it was nothing like that.
He was dizzy. So very dizzy, and it felt like every muscle, every bone in his body was suddenly, instantly vibrating in every direction. He opened his eyes, desperate to gain his bearings; his vision blurred and he felt nausea rising up in his throat. He tried to count the seconds, but it seemed that time stretched on forever, and he was lost in its wake, desperately spinning and spinning…
Snape apparated somewhere on the edge of the Forbidden Forest, shaking off the momentary disorientation that always accompanied apparation. For a moment, he could feel nothing, and then he felt Potter give a massive shudder in his arms, and roll to the side to retch, pathetically. Nothing came up, and Snape suspected that Harry had not eaten or drunk anything in several days.
Finally, Potter quieted, his head lolling to one side as he sagged in Severus' arms. For a long moment, neither moved. Finally, Potter spoke. His voice was small.
"I¾I'm… sorry. "
Severus snorted. "Just relax, Potter. I told you that it would be disconcerting, and you aren't strong enough right now to help it." Harry said nothing, his face turned away from Snape's view. Snape sighed, and started walking towards Hogwarts. He needed to get the boy to Madam Pomfrey, and then he and Dumbledore needed to have a reckoning. Harry should never have been left with those horrible Muggle relatives of his. Isn't he the one who was supposed to save the wizarding world? Defeat Voldemort, and so on and so forth? And yet here he was, lying dizzily in Snape's arms, unable to do more than retch and shudder. Snape felt a hot bolt of anger run down his spine.
It was strange to him, as he strode towards the old castle, that such anger could be directed towards those who would harm the boy that for six years has been the bane of his existence. Not that he liked the boy now… he was just angry for him. It was an odd situation to find oneself in. Not that he should be surprised, he mused. He was always and forever saving Potter's son from himself. It was ironic, really. It seemed to Severus that Potter would haunt him in one form or another forever. But instead of doing everything in his power to get back at James Potter through his son, he has to rescue him from one stupid pitfall after another.
Severus' musings were interrupted as Hogwarts castle came up into view. As he moved through the front door, he opened his mouth and yelled. Potter started suddenly as his voice filled the spacious entrance hall.
"Poppy! Dumbledore!"
He continued to stride swiftly up the stairs towards the Infirmary Wing, punctuating the air at intervals with his summons. Potter seemed to grow very uncomfortable, and as they neared the Infirmary, he began to struggle weakly to be let down.
"M'okay. I can walk." He kept repeating, but Severus ignored him.
Madam Pomfrey came scurrying out of a side passage as Severus entered the wing. For a long moment, she seemed very put off by Severus' insistent calls, but then she noticed Harry, still trying to get down.
"Severus, what are you all worked up about¾ Harry!"
And instantly Poppy changed demeanor. She bustled them into the Infirmary, and directed Severus to lay Potter out on one of the beds. Harry was still insisting he could walk, right up to the point where Snape draped him on top on a white sheet.
"What happened, Severus?" Poppy asked as she felt Potter's face. Potter was looking less than amused as he tried to turn away from her ministrations.
"Those muggle relatives happened." Severus replied dryly, one hand pulling Harry's thin wrist away so that Poppy could work. Harry made an affronted noise somewhere in the back of his throat, and glared at Snape.
"Great Merlin! It looks like he's been starved!" Poppy exclaimed as she wrestled Harry out of the massive shirt he had been wearing. Harry's face was now bright red, and he tried to cover himself feebly. Severus would swear that he could count the child's ribs.
"It does indeed." Severus remarked, his eyes narrowed and his anger peaked. Who would starve a child? He held no doubt that the whale-boy had been eating Harry's portions as well as his own, and entertained visions of spells and potions to torment the ghastly thing.
Poppy was still bustling about Harry, who was looking distinctly angry. "Severus, I don't think I have enough of the right potions in store to combat such gross malnutrition… do you think you might brew me some more of the¾"
"I'm still here, you know!" Harry barked, surprising both Poppy and Severus, who both froze for a moment. Harry glared at both adults as he pulled the sheet around his slim shoulders. "I'd appreciate it if you would remember that," he spoke again, far softer that his first outburst. His cheeks were tinged pink in his embarrassment.
Poppy looked to speak for a second, but was cut off by a stately, sonorous voice.
"Of course, Harry." And Albus Dumbledore strode into the infirmary.
Severus looked sharply at Dumbledore, who shook his head slightly. He understood what Snape's look meant: not in front of the boy. Severus said nothing, but he was certain that Dumbledore knew that he was in for an earful.
Harry was still glaring as Dumbledore made his way over to the infirmary bed.
"Harry," Dumbledore smiled a little at the boy. "How are you today?" Potter stared at the Headmaster for a long moment. The expression on his open face was easily readable: is this man daft? Severus spoke for him.
"I believe that he is hungry and in need of rest." Among other things, he thought to himself."
"Of course you are," Dumbledore continued, as if it had been Harry who had spoken for himself. "We shall see what we can manage in the way of food and rest, after Poppy finishes, of course. Severus," and he turned to stare directly at the Potion's Master. "Will you bring Harry's things up to Gryffindor tower? I believe Harry's owl is waiting there, and needs to be fed."
Severus narrowed his eyes. This was an obviously abject dismissal. "I will return," he said shortly, and turned to leave. He turned back briefly, and looked at Potter, who seemed very small and white.
"Don't struggle too much, Potter." He said, surprising even himself. He had not been intending to speak. "Let Poppy do what she does. I shall return with the potions you need." At that, he strode out, leaving a shocked Harry Potter between Poppy, who immediately began bustling about his bed again, and a stoic Headmaster, who stood for a moment and watched the space where Severus had retreated.
Closing Author's Notes: As I said, I dunno whether I am continuing this. Review and tell me if any of you would like to read more, and I shall oblige.