CHAPTER 32

Thanks to my reviewers. Whoa, I did get a lot on my last chapter. Thanks again, love you all! 33

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"Are you sure you're not hungry Jac?"

"No. I'm fine."

Mark shrugged and placed his key in the lock. "You barely ate anything on the plane."

"It was plane food."

"It was a 20 hour flight. It's a little after 8 PM now. I'll make you something if you want."

Jackie bit her lip as they finally entered the loft. "Fine. Maybe some soup."

Mark sighed and turned the lights on. "Holy shit, this place looks amazing." He dropped the suitcases roughly on the new carpeting. The walls were completely painted a light tan color to match the rug. The cracked industrial windows had been replaced and actual blinds and curtains were hanging from them. The heating and air conditioning vents had been installed as well as two ceiling fans. Even the couch and coffee table had been replaced in the living room, along with a new TV, VCR, and stereo.

Jackie walked over into the living room. "Mark look, I think they connected both apartments," she grinned, pulling open the two French doors. She squealed and grabbed his hand, pulling him into the new apartment. "Look at it."

The floor had been carpeted in the same matching rug on the other side—and the walls painted an off white. Posters of famous movies and independent films projects were framed on the walls, as well as posters of ballerinas and productions. They had their own separate kitchen and living room, as well as another two bedrooms and a bathroom.

"You guys like it?"

Mark looked up to find Roger grinning from the door, Mimi's head resting against his chest. "When did you—how?" he laughed.

Mimi smiled. "Dan worked his ass off from the day you were gone until this morning when he finished hanging up the posters. It was insane. He really loves his job, and all of us."

"This is just—really great," Jackie said, speechless.

Roger cleared his throat. "Yeah yeah. Now where's my surfboard?"

Jackie grinned at Mark. "My friends are shipping it up here with them."

"Your friends?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah. Jackie's friend Shawn and his girlfriend Jillian are coming to stay with us for a week or so to catch the opening of Jackie's show, and since Shawn is a surfer, he said he'd get a good one and if they weather's decent he'll take all of us to the Jersey shore to try to get some good waves."

Mimi laughed. "So you're telling me that two of your Australian friends are bringing themselves and their surfboards to the city?"

Jackie shrugged. "Why the hell not?"

"A little too Crocodile Dundee for me, but okay. When are they getting here? And how was Sydney?"

Mimi grinned. "Don't let your brain overload baby."

"Sydney was beautiful. We have about three rolls of film to develop," Mark said, pointing to the other room where the suitcases were set.

"And Jillian and Shawn are flying in the 27th, this Sunday. The show starts the 30th." Jackie stood up slowly. "I'll uh, be back in a few," she added, taking off for the bathroom.

Mimi shot Roger an apprehensive stare, and then they both looked at Mark.

"What?" he said.

"Nothing," Roger grinned. "Oh yeah, your mom called. She wants you and Jackie up in Scarsdale on Tuesday for Passover."

Mark groaned. "Yeah, I guess I better call her back." He left the room and Jackie reappeared, pulling her hair back into a low ponytail. Roger practically pounced on her.

"So? Did you tell him?"

"Roger!" Mimi scolded. "What are you, three?"

Roger shrugged. "I just want to know, as I'm sure Mark does."

"No, I didn't tell him."

"You are telling him, right?" Mimi asked.

Jackie bit her lip. "Yeah, eventually. But not right now."

"Jackie," Roger groaned. "Tell him already."

"Shut up Roger," she teased, crossing to the other side of the apartment.

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 Later that night, Maureen, Mimi, and Jackie were settled on the floor. Mimi's wedding dress was draped over the couch, and her shoes were sitting in the original box.

"Jac you don't look that good. You didn't catch anything in Sydney did you?" Maureen asked. She raised her eyes from the checklist and stared at her.

Jackie shrugged, taking another small bite of the saltine crackers she was attempting to eat. "I'm fine. My stomach's just a little upset. Probably a mild case of the stomach flu."

When Maureen didn't look too convinced, Mimi took over. "Yeah Mo, you know what plane food does to your stomach."

Maureen nodded. "Do I ever. I spend more time back and forth on a plane that the least they can do is cater some McDonald's for me," she laughed.

Mimi and Jackie shared an uncomfortable glance at each other. "So did you call the florist?"

Maureen beamed. "Florist, caterer, hotel, limousine, everything. Everything's set for the 18th." She pulled a piece of paper out of her back pocket. "Ta da!"

Mimi took it from her and read it. "Wildwood?"

Maureen nodded and pointed to the other side. "You, me, and Jackie are getting away the weekend before the wedding—May 9th to the 11th, and we're going to Wildwood in Jersey. But the catch is—no one can tell the guys where we're going because knowing them, they'll show up. Nosy bunch of bastards."

Jackie stifled a laugh. "You are so weird Maureen."

"I know."

Jackie sat up suddenly and bolted for the bathroom just as Maureen heard the key turn in the lock. "Jac? Oh fuck, the dress! Roger can't see the dress Meems!" Maureen lunged for the dress and grabbed Mimi. She ran to Mark's side of the apartment and slammed the doors behind them.

Roger walked in with Mark, carrying a six-pack of beer and a bag of sandwiches from the deli. "What was that slam?"

Mark shrugged. "No idea. Weren't the girls just here?" He wandered over to the couch and picked up Mimi's wedding shoes and grinned. "That would be a yes."

Roger shrugged and took a beer out of the case and passed one to Mark. "I'm watching the game. You?"

"Whatever." They both plopped down on the brand new couch and started watching the Yankees on the TV.

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"Maureen I'm thirsty," Mimi whined as Maureen zipped up the back of the wedding dress. "And when did my boobs get so huge?"

"Hold still," Maureen instructed, taking the bobby pin out of her mouth and adjusting the veil in Mimi's hair. "Go look."

Mimi gathered up the train of the dress and walked over to the mirror and twirled around. "Nice fit. Let's just hope my stomach holds off on protruding for another two weeks." She turned back to Maureen and pulled the veil over her face. "Now can I get something to drink?"

"Roger can't see you in that! Plus I have to pin up the bottom of the underskirt because it's dragging way too much."

"Arg. Then let me sneak out into the kitchen. Just um, block me or something?" Mimi said.

"Hmm. Okay." Maureen creaked the door open and peered out. "They're sitting on the couch watching TV. Just hitch up the train and we'll make a run for it."

Mimi nodded. "Ready? One…two…"

"THREE!" Maureen said loudly, grabbing Mimi's arm and walking slowly into the kitchen. "Hi boys."

Both grunted a hello in response, not tearing their eyes off the screen. Mimi reached up into the cabinets as Maureen stood in front of her, whistling and staring at the ceiling.

"What's that?" Roger asked, pointing to the white skirt.

"Nothing," Maureen said. Mimi grabbed Maureen by the shoulders as Maureen sidestepped towards the door.

"Is that Mimi behind you?" he asked, trying to peek around.

"Don't do that fucktard! You can't see her in the dress!"

Roger pretended to pout. "Fine."

"I still love you baby," Mimi said. She didn't hear his response as Maureen ushered her back in the doors. "That was close."

"Completely your idea," Maureen reminded her, helping her unzip the dress.

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Jackie slipped out of bed quietly around five in the morning. Mark was still sleeping, and he looked so adorable. She loved watching him sleep. Before she could watch him any longer, she felt her stomach lurch again and found herself in the bathroom. This time, she ran the sink water to hopefully drown out some of the sound.

She never remembered it being this bad last time.

She brought her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them, taking slow shaky breaths to calm herself down. She knew that she had to tell Mark sooner or later, and definitely knew that he was on to something by now. Mark wasn't the type of person to let something of this magnitude fly right over his head. He cared about people too much.

It wasn't like she didn't care about him; it's just that she didn't know what she was supposed to be feeling for Mark. Sure, they occasionally used the word love, but what kind of love were they both referring too?

She was tired of pretending, and most of all tired of covering up things that happened in the past. But what scared her the most was the possibility of motherhood all over again, especially with a guy that was head over heels for her. Mark was a saint compared to Josh—god, they shouldn't even be in the same sentence. Things had been so rough between them, and now Josh was in jail, but Mark had suffered the consequences. Would he really want to have a child with her? They had only been dating for three months.

She kept reminding herself that Mark would never hit her, and Mark would never do anything to endanger her or the baby, but she found it increasingly hard to trust someone after her past experiences, and as much as she tried, she couldn't let go.

She was so hungry, but she knew that whatever she ate would come straight back up in a matter of half an hour. She carefully brought herself to her feet, washed her face, and started brushing her teeth before setting herself back down on the tile floor. She could have fallen asleep right in that very spot, but Mark's voice interrupted her.

"Jackie? What's wrong?"

Jackie looked up and studied him. He looked so concerned that she could even tell by his eyes and facial expressions. "Nothing Mark." So much for telling him the truth.

"That's shit Jackie. You're sick. Now tell me what's wrong."

"I can't."

Mark stared at her. "Why not?"

"Because."

Mark sighed. "Hey, as long as you're not pregnant we'll be fine," he joked, smiling at her. "I don't think I could handle a kid right now."

Jackie took a deep breath and practically forced herself to ignore the comment he had just made. She splashed a little more water on her face. "Yeah. Neither could I." She focused on the ceiling in order to keep her eyes from tearing up. "Do you want me to make you something to eat?"

Mark nodded. "Yeah, I have to get to work in a little bit. First day back and all." He kissed her on the cheek before leaving the bathroom.

Dejected, Jackie followed after him.

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It was close to 8:30 before Mark had finally left. Jackie curled up on their couch with a phonebook, glass of water, and a pencil. She quickly turned to the yellow pages and scanned the list of woman's clinics. Twenty minutes later she had narrowed her list down to two potential obstetricians.

She picked the cordless phone up and dialed the number of her first choice, waiting for someone to pick up.

"Good morning, Dr. Chesek's Office of Obstetrics and Gynecology, how may I help you?"

Jackie hesitated before responding. "Hi, I was wondering if there was any possibility I could set up an appointment for today? I'm pretty sure I might be pregnant, and I was wondering if you had anything available?"

"Sure. Hold on one moment." Jackie heard the receptionist typing away on her computer. "I have an opening this morning at 11, if I could have your name and telephone number I could reserve it for you?"

"That's perfect. Jacqueline Ferrell."

"And how do you sell your last name?"

"F-E-R-R-E-L-L."

"Alright. We'll see you at 11 then. Just make sure to have all of your insurance information with you."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

Jackie hung up the phone and grabbed her purse from the coffee table. She had just started to dig through it when Mimi opened the doors and came in with two cups of tea.

"Hey," she greeted, placing one in front of Jackie before taking a seat on the couch. "How are you?"

"I'm okay. I just made an appointment with a gynecology and obstetrics office uptown for 11. I want to confirm things, you know?"

Mimi nodded. "You should drink that. It'll really settle your stomach."

"Thanks Mimi." Jackie took a sip of it. "Mark found me in the bathroom again this morning."

"Did he suspect anything?"

Jackie shrugged. "He said that as long as I wasn't pregnant, we'd still be okay."

Mimi's eyes widened and she placed her cup roughly back on the table. "That little fucker! He didn't!"

"He did."

"Men are such assholes."

Jackie pulled out an envelope from her purse and placed it on her lap. In it contained her birth certificate, insurance card, American and Australian driver's licenses, and passport. "How did Roger react when he first found out?"

Mimi snorted and rolled her eyes. "Mr. Peppy over there wasn't so full of pep when we found out. He told me that we shouldn't have it, because we were both positive, but then I found this really great doctor who explained to me that if I took good care of myself and took my AZT, then the baby would have a small percentage of developing the disease later on in it's life."

"Yeah?"

"Mark didn't mean what he said sweetie. He was most likely trying to make you feel better, which is something that either works or backfires horribly. That's the good thing about Mark—he's always looking out for other people, and I can tell you right now, he's going to love this baby with all he has because that's just how he is. He's physically incapable of not being able to love people," she added.

"I know."

Mimi smiled sympathetically. "When he gets home from work you should sit him down and talk to him. I know he'd be understanding." She stood up again and wrapped her robe around her.

"I'm going to take a shower, but I'll let you know how the appointment goes," Jackie said. She gave Mimi a quick hug before walking towards the bathroom.

"And Jackie?"

"Hmm?"

"What happened with Josh wasn't your fault sweetie. Especially about the baby. I know for a fact Mark would never do anything like that to you."

"Thank you."

"Anytime, chica."

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By a quarter to ten, Jackie had paid the cab driver and was heading into the small building that housed the doctor's office.

She pulled the office door open and a little bell dinged inside. The receptionist smiled warmly at her. "Hello."

Jackie approached the desk. "Hi, my name is Jacqueline Ferrell and I have an appointment for 11."

The receptionist slid a clipboard towards her and handed her a pen. "Of course. Just fill out these forms and we'll make a copy of your insurance card and birth certificate. Dr. Chesek should be right with you."

Jackie took the clipboard and sat down in the nearly deserted waiting area. Another woman who appeared to be close to six months pregnant was flipping through a magazine. Apparently the place had just opened for the day. It took her all of ten minutes to fill out the forms and have the receptionist make photocopies.

She was halfway through a new issue of Seventeen when a middle-aged nurse in scrubs appeared. "Jacqueline?"

Jackie stood up and dropped the magazine back on the table. "Hi."

The nurse smiled and led Jackie down a hallway and into an exam room. She handed Jackie a gown to change into and placed her chart on the counter. "Dr. Chesek will be right with you."

"Thanks." Jackie quickly changed into the gown, but kept her sweatshirt jacket on over it. She took a seat on the exam table and within fifteen minutes, a woman in her early thirties appeared, her auburn hair pulled up into a ponytail with a pen stuck through it. "Jacqueline Ferrell?" The woman stuck out her hand and Jackie shook it. "I'm Dr. Emily Chesek, it's nice to meet you." She picked up Jackie's chart and read through it briefly. "So I understand you believe there's a good chance you might be pregnant?"

Jackie nodded. "I took three pregnancy tests when I was home in Sydney, and all three were positive."

"Sydney? Australia?"

"Yeah."

"I was born in Melbourne and moved here to go through med school. I love it there and go back just about every chance I get," she laughed.

Dr. Chesek quickly measured, weighed, and took Jackie's blood pressure. "I know everyone hates these, but I have to ask a few standard questions and take a medical history. How long have you and your boyfriend been together?"

"Mark and I have been together for almost 3 months."

"How long have you both been sexually active?"

"Um, I guess for almost 2 months?"

Dr. Chesek jotted a few things down on the chart. "Is this your first pregnancy?"

Jackie shook head. "No. It's my second. I miscarried the first one."

"All right. And how far along were you when you miscarried?"

"13 weeks."

"With the same partner?"

"No, an ex boyfriend."

"Okay. I'm going to do a full exam and send off on a few labs and blood tests. It's pretty slow around here today, so you won't have to wait too long to confirm anything."

Dr. Chesek finished with her exam, and 30 minutes after the nurse came to take Jackie's blood, she was back in the exam room with the results.

"Okay Miss Jackie from Sydney, sorry I had to keep you waiting."

"No problem," Jackie answered, staring at the lab sheet in the doctor's hand.

"From the hormone levels in your blood, along with the exam I just did, you're about 8 and a half weeks pregnant. I estimated conception taking place around the 14th of March. Any bells and whistles going off?"

Jackie tried to fight back a laugh. "Yeah, pretty much."

"It was just that night, you know?" Dr. Chesek teased, laughing. "You're due around December 15th."

"Early Christmas present."

"Good timing. Everything else came back in the clear, although I am a little worried about your weight. You're 93 pounds at 5'5, which is below the standard average. I know you're a dancer and your diet is restricted, but it's very important that you keep up with a regular diet throughout your pregnancy. Since you're technically underweight, I'd be pretty happy to see you gain at least 30 pounds with the baby."

"Okay. I can't continue dancing can I? I have a show that opens next week."

"Well, since you've had a miscarriage, I'd recommend that you cease your dancing altogether throughout your pregnancy, at least for the first three months. Unfortunately you probably won't be able to perform either, but if you take the time to exercise for 30 minutes a few days a weeks you'll feel a lot better during your pregnancy. No fancy jumps and twirls either."

"So that means no show?"

Dr. Chesek shook her head. "No show. As for sexual activity, you might want to hold off for the first three months too, just as a precaution."

Jackie nodded. "Sure."

'"Here's your prescription for prenatal vitamins. Let me know if they make you anymore nauseous, okay? And I'll see you next month." She handed the prescription to Jackie.

"Thank you."

"Not a problem. Set up an appointment with Sophie up front and I'm always on call, so if you ever need anything, don't hesitate. Take care."

"You too."

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Mimi was pulling clothes and towels out of the dryer just as Jackie walked back into the loft. "Hey, you're back finally. How was it?"

Jackie shrugged and took of her jacket. "It was okay. I'm pregnant. 8 ½ weeks." She walked over to Mimi and Roger's kitchen and took the saltines out. "Now I'm just trying to keep anything down."

Mimi grinned as started the washer, tossing a bunch of Roger's clothes into it. "I remember that way too well."

Jackie looked up at her. "What are you doing?"

"I cleaned out Roger's side of the closet. I don't want to know how many dirty boxers and shirts were laying in there."

"Ew." Jackie scrunched up her nose and poured herself a glass of ginger ale.

"Like you haven't had to deal with Mark's dirty boxers," she laughed. She added detergent and slammed the lid.

"I wear most of Mark's boxers," she reminded her.

"I used to wear Roger's boxers. Until they got too small. I love how I can't wear my own boyfriend's—"

"Fiancé's," Jackie corrected.

"Fiancé's boxers because my belly's too big," she groaned. "Makes you feel special."

"I'm sorry. If it makes you feel any better I'll be right up there with you in a few months."

"Oh yeah," Mimi said, stealing the cracker box from Jackie. "When are you due?"

"December 15th."

"No fucking way. That's one hell of a Christmas present. Jaylynn will be about um, 3 months old by then," she grinned. "So when are you telling Mark?"

"Eventually. That reminds me, I have to call Shawn and Jillian and tell them about the show. My doctor says I can't dance."

Mimi sighed. "I'm sorry honey."

"Yeah, so am I, but my health's more important. Can't have sex either until the second trimester."

"That really sucks," Mimi laughed. "But I didn't need to know that."

"We can still hear you guys even though we're on the other side of the apartment," Jackie added, sipping the ginger ale. "I think your next job is soundproofing."

"Shut up," Mimi laughed, throwing a cracker at her. "You just wait."

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IN THE NEXT THREE CHAPTERS OF BYW: The bachelor party, the wedding, the honeymoon, and Jackie tells Mark about the baby.