EXT -- OUTSIDE BERTHE'S HOUSE -- AFTERNOON
(The leading player and the young man walk up to Berthe's doorway.)
LEADING PLAYER
The home of Berthe. Pippin's grandmother. Warm, strong....
BERTHE
(Within.)
Damn! I hate needle point!
LEADING PLAYER
(To the young man.)
Feisty. Now she lives in the country.
(Whispers.)
Personality conflict with Fastrada.
(She knocks on the door.)
INT -- BERTHE'S LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe is startled by the knock.)
BERTHE
What the...?
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
(She gets up to answer it. Instead of the leading player, Pippin stands there.)
Oh, Pippin!
(She embraces him.)
Come in! Sit down. Have some prunes.
(She drags him inside.)
INT -- BERTHE'S LIVING ROOM -- AFTERNOON
(A close up of stewed prunes being plopped into a bowl. Pippin sits on the sofa looking down at them, slightly disgusted. As Berthe moves around the room throughout the scene, we see that the leading player and the young man are watching from a corner.)
BERTHE
Oh, Pippin. I'm reminded of when you were a little boy. Do you remember Pippin? The way I used to hold you in my arms?
PIPPIN
Of course I remember. That's why I came here.
BERTHE
(After a pause.)
Something's the matter, Pippin. What have you been doing with yourself?
PIPPIN
Well, I went to war.
BERTHE
Oh, no wonder you look so terrible. I swear men raise flags when they can't get anything else up.
PIPPIN
Grandma, you haven't changed a bit.
BERTHE
You have, Pippin. Now what's the matter?
PIPPIN
I don't know. I just feel empty and vacant.
BERTHE
Empty and vacant? Now, Pippin. You listen to me... you're going to hear something very...
(Indicating quotes.)
'wise'. Don't take life so seriously. Just take things as they come along. Don't do too much planning and don't do too much thinking. How's that for wisdom so far?
PIPPIN
Well frankly, Grandma, it sounds pretty dull.
LEADING PLAYER
(To the young man.)
It'll sound better with music.
(Underscoring begins. Berthe leads Pippin out of the room. The leading player and the young man follow.)
INT -- A HALLWAY IN BERTHE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe leads Pippin down the hall as she sings.)
BERTHE +
When you are as old as I, my dear,
And I hope that you never are,
You will woefully wonder why, my dear,
Through your cataracts and catarrh.
You could squander away or sequester
A drop of a precious year,
For when your best days are yester,
The rest 're twice as dear....
(She has by now lead him to an enormous set of double doors. She throws them open, revealing a party hall, packed with people.)
INT -- BERTHE'S PARTY HALL -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe sings to Pippin as she leads him through this room, greeting people as she goes along.)
BERTHE +
What good is a field on a find summer night
If you sit all alone with the weeds,
Or a succulent pear if, with each juicy bite,
You spit out your teeth with the seeds?
Before it's too late, stop trying to wait
For fortune and fate you're secure of,
For there's one thing to be sure of, mate:
There's nothing to be sure of.
(She has now reached a karaoke stage and takes the microphone.)
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
PIPPIN
But, Grandma, it's time that I'm worried about.
BERTHE
Now, you sit down and don't say anything until I'm finished. I've got three more choruses to do, but you can all join me if you wish, but just the choruses. The verses are all mine.
(Sung.)
I never wondered if I was afraid
When there was a challenge to take.
I never thought about how much I weighed
When there was still one piece of cake.
Maybe it's meant, the hours I've spent
Feeling broken and bent and unwell,
But there's still no cure so heaven-sent
As the chance to raise some hell.
(Spoken.)
Everybody!
BERTHE & GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
BERTHE
Come on, you should all know it by now!
BERTHE & GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
BERTHE +
Sages tweet that age is sweet.
Good deeds and good work earn you laurels,
But what could make you feel more obsolete
Than being noted for your morals?
Here is a secret I never have told.
Maybe you'll understand why.
I believe if I refuse to grow old,
I can stay young 'til I die.
Now, I've known the fears of sixty-six years,
I've had trouble and tears by the score,
But the only thing I'd trade them for
Is sixty-seven more....
GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start....
BERTHE
Stop. Hey. Stop! Shut up!
(Silence.)
Now, I'm going to take this one all by myself, alright? Hit it!
(Sung.)
Oh! It's time to start livin',
Time to keep takin' from this world I'm given.
You are my time, so I'll throw off my shawl,
And watchin' you're flings be be flung all over
Makes me feel young all over....
BERTHE & GUESTS +
In just no time at all!
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- AFTERNOON
(Pippin stands beyond the doorway. Berthe smiles sweetly.)
BERTHE
Remember that Pippin.
(She slams the door.)
EXT -- OUTSIDE BERTHE'S HOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
(A breif shot of Pippin looking confused.)
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe hurries back toward the party room.)
BERTHE
Now, who's up for naked twister?
(The leading player and the young man walk up to Berthe's doorway.)
LEADING PLAYER
The home of Berthe. Pippin's grandmother. Warm, strong....
BERTHE
(Within.)
Damn! I hate needle point!
LEADING PLAYER
(To the young man.)
Feisty. Now she lives in the country.
(Whispers.)
Personality conflict with Fastrada.
(She knocks on the door.)
INT -- BERTHE'S LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe is startled by the knock.)
BERTHE
What the...?
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
(She gets up to answer it. Instead of the leading player, Pippin stands there.)
Oh, Pippin!
(She embraces him.)
Come in! Sit down. Have some prunes.
(She drags him inside.)
INT -- BERTHE'S LIVING ROOM -- AFTERNOON
(A close up of stewed prunes being plopped into a bowl. Pippin sits on the sofa looking down at them, slightly disgusted. As Berthe moves around the room throughout the scene, we see that the leading player and the young man are watching from a corner.)
BERTHE
Oh, Pippin. I'm reminded of when you were a little boy. Do you remember Pippin? The way I used to hold you in my arms?
PIPPIN
Of course I remember. That's why I came here.
BERTHE
(After a pause.)
Something's the matter, Pippin. What have you been doing with yourself?
PIPPIN
Well, I went to war.
BERTHE
Oh, no wonder you look so terrible. I swear men raise flags when they can't get anything else up.
PIPPIN
Grandma, you haven't changed a bit.
BERTHE
You have, Pippin. Now what's the matter?
PIPPIN
I don't know. I just feel empty and vacant.
BERTHE
Empty and vacant? Now, Pippin. You listen to me... you're going to hear something very...
(Indicating quotes.)
'wise'. Don't take life so seriously. Just take things as they come along. Don't do too much planning and don't do too much thinking. How's that for wisdom so far?
PIPPIN
Well frankly, Grandma, it sounds pretty dull.
LEADING PLAYER
(To the young man.)
It'll sound better with music.
(Underscoring begins. Berthe leads Pippin out of the room. The leading player and the young man follow.)
INT -- A HALLWAY IN BERTHE'S HOME -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe leads Pippin down the hall as she sings.)
BERTHE +
When you are as old as I, my dear,
And I hope that you never are,
You will woefully wonder why, my dear,
Through your cataracts and catarrh.
You could squander away or sequester
A drop of a precious year,
For when your best days are yester,
The rest 're twice as dear....
(She has by now lead him to an enormous set of double doors. She throws them open, revealing a party hall, packed with people.)
INT -- BERTHE'S PARTY HALL -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe sings to Pippin as she leads him through this room, greeting people as she goes along.)
BERTHE +
What good is a field on a find summer night
If you sit all alone with the weeds,
Or a succulent pear if, with each juicy bite,
You spit out your teeth with the seeds?
Before it's too late, stop trying to wait
For fortune and fate you're secure of,
For there's one thing to be sure of, mate:
There's nothing to be sure of.
(She has now reached a karaoke stage and takes the microphone.)
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
PIPPIN
But, Grandma, it's time that I'm worried about.
BERTHE
Now, you sit down and don't say anything until I'm finished. I've got three more choruses to do, but you can all join me if you wish, but just the choruses. The verses are all mine.
(Sung.)
I never wondered if I was afraid
When there was a challenge to take.
I never thought about how much I weighed
When there was still one piece of cake.
Maybe it's meant, the hours I've spent
Feeling broken and bent and unwell,
But there's still no cure so heaven-sent
As the chance to raise some hell.
(Spoken.)
Everybody!
BERTHE & GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
BERTHE
Come on, you should all know it by now!
BERTHE & GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start livin',
Time to take a little from this world we're given,
Time to take time, 'cause spring will turn to fall
In just no time at all.
BERTHE +
Sages tweet that age is sweet.
Good deeds and good work earn you laurels,
But what could make you feel more obsolete
Than being noted for your morals?
Here is a secret I never have told.
Maybe you'll understand why.
I believe if I refuse to grow old,
I can stay young 'til I die.
Now, I've known the fears of sixty-six years,
I've had trouble and tears by the score,
But the only thing I'd trade them for
Is sixty-seven more....
GUESTS +
Oh, it's time to start....
BERTHE
Stop. Hey. Stop! Shut up!
(Silence.)
Now, I'm going to take this one all by myself, alright? Hit it!
(Sung.)
Oh! It's time to start livin',
Time to keep takin' from this world I'm given.
You are my time, so I'll throw off my shawl,
And watchin' you're flings be be flung all over
Makes me feel young all over....
BERTHE & GUESTS +
In just no time at all!
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- AFTERNOON
(Pippin stands beyond the doorway. Berthe smiles sweetly.)
BERTHE
Remember that Pippin.
(She slams the door.)
EXT -- OUTSIDE BERTHE'S HOUSE -- CONTINUOUS
(A breif shot of Pippin looking confused.)
INT -- BERTHE'S FOYER -- CONTINUOUS
(Berthe hurries back toward the party room.)
BERTHE
Now, who's up for naked twister?