CHAPTER 52
A/N: Thanks for the reviews everyone, as always. Hope you all enjoy this chapter as well.
Sho asked: so where were Collins and mo this Xmas?
Collins was in Philadelphia visiting Dan's parents with him. Mo was in Los Angeles visiting Harvey's parents with him.
Enjoy guys, and have a Merry Christmas/Happy Holidays!
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Dearly belovedWe gather here to say our goodbyes…
Roger tossed his keys and cell phone onto the kitchen counter. He slipped off his jacket and boots as quietly as possibly. Normally at this time everyone would be gathered in the living room or already making plans for the night, but for the first time in months it was quiet. He didn't even hear anything coming from next door.
He rubbed his temples as he crossed into the living room. He hated that fact that it had happened all over again. Just like Angel. The pain, the sadness, the general quiet of the loft. Slumping back against the couch, he looked at the surface of the coffee table and picked up the newspaper clipping that someone had cut out. Probably Mimi earlier that morning, when he had already left for work.
He fingered the typed print and sighed before starting to read.
Daniel Harrison Leone, 32,
Manhattan interior designer
Daniel Harrison Leone, 32, died Wednesday (February 4, 1998) from AIDS related complications at Mount Sinai Hospital, Manhattan. Leone was born in Philadelphia and resided there until he graduated high school in 1984. Upon his graduation, he attended the Parsons School of Design. He received his AAS degree in 1988 and continued on to start his own business, Leone Interior.
He is survived by his partner, Thomas B. Collins, 29; his parents, Robert and Ellen Leone of Philadelphia; his sister Maria of Boston; as well as friends Mark Cohen of Scarsdale; Roger and Mimi Davis of Manhattan, Jacqueline Ferrell of Sydney; Harvey Spataro; and Maureen Johnson.
Funeral services will begin 10 AM Saturday in Manhattan. Internment will follow thereafter. Donations may be made to the pediatric AIDS foundation.
Tossing the clipping back on the table, he stood up and made his way into the bedroom. Mimi was curled up on her side, along with Jackie and Mark, who were both sound asleep. If it wasn't such a serious situation, he probably would have laughed, considering he couldn't remember the last time they had all fallen asleep on his bed. Instead, he crouched over Mimi and kissed her forehead.
Her eyes opened automatically and she loosened her grip on the tissue in her hand. "Hey."
"Hey." He sat down on the edge of the bed.
"Did you get Jaylynn to your mom's okay?" she asked.
He ran his fingers through her curls and nodded. "Yeah. She said that it doesn't matter how long she stays, so I figured we'd pick her up Monday morning. This way we can go to the funeral tomorrow, then just sort of be there for Collins on Sunday if he needs us."
"That's fine. Did she give you a hard time?"
Roger shook his head. "Nah. I gave my mom her teething ring and then my mom told me not to worry about anything, she had to raise me and my four brothers and sisters," he laughed.
Mimi propped her head up on her arm. "I got your suit from the dry cleaners. Actually Mark did this morning."
"Okay." Roger looked over at Mark. Jackie had her back facing him and Mark's arm was casually draped over her waist. "Can I ask why they're laying in my bed?"
"We got back from the cleaners and we all came in here and started talking. Then the next thing I knew, Jackie put Luke down for his nap and fell asleep here. Then I fell asleep, and I guess Mark figured there was no point in leaving."
"Yeah." He wrapped his arm around her waist. "So how are you holding up?"
"I'm okay. How's Collins?"
Roger sighed. "He's okay, as far as I can tell. I helped him finish up a lot of the paperwork from the hospital and everything else after I got back from Scarsdale, and he didn't say much of anything to me."
"Yeah. He hasn't been saying much of anything."
"I don't think we expect him to."
Mimi wiped at her eyes with the crumpled tissue. "Benny came by before."
"Yeah? What did he want?" Normally Roger would have responded with a comment about Benny, but now he just didn't see the point.
"He paid his respects to Collins and helped him out with a few things."
"Surprising. You know something?"
"What?" She looked up at him as he said this.
"When I was sitting in that apartment with Collins, I couldn't help but think that you know, it's been through so much. First it was just Collins' apartment. Then it was Collins and Angel's. Then after Angel died, it was just Collins'. Then Collins and Danny's. And now that Dan died, he's alone again. I just don't think that's fucking fair at all."
Mimi shook her head. "Neither do I. But there's absolutely nothing we can do about that, and that's what's killing all of us."
Roger kissed her forehead as she started crying again.
* * * *
Mark knocked on the bathroom door. "Jac?"
"Yeah?"
He opened the bathroom door and found Jackie finishing up with her makeup. "Almost ready?"
"Yeah." She tossed her mascara back in her makeup bag. "I don't even know why I'm bothering to put makeup on when it's just going to run all over my face."
Mark walked over to her and slipped his hand through hers. "It'll be okay. I promise."
She nodded and let him led her out of the bathroom. "You sure it's okay that we leave Luke with your sister?"
"It's fine," Mark reassured her. They both slipped on their coats and Jackie adjusted her stiletto heels before walking out of the door with Mark. They reached the limo that was waiting at the curb. It had been sent over for Collins by Dan's parents, and they had insisted that he and his friends use it at their discretion.
Jackie slid inside, followed by Mark. "Hi," she greeted everyone. She was seated next to Harvey, and he had his hand linked through Maureen's. Roger and Mimi were sitting together on the other side with Collins, and neither one said anything when Mark and Jackie had finally gotten inside.
The ride to the church had taken less than twenty minutes, and in those minutes, Maureen and Jackie had attempted to make small talk with anyone who would have it. Maureen slightly mentioned that she had gotten the understudy part for Roxie Hart in the Broadway play Chicago, although she would hopefully be starting full time in April once the current girl quit. No one actually congratulated her, but she hadn't expected it in the first place.
Collins had exited the limo first, and had immediately disappeared into the church with the priest and Dan's parents. Roger helped Mimi out, as did Mark for Jackie.
"So should we go in and get seats?" Roger asked Mark.
He shrugged and wrapped his arm around Jackie's waist. "I'm Jewish. You're the Catholic one, remember?"
"It was just a common sense question okay?" Roger argued back at him.
Mimi glared at them both and rubbed her temples. "Just both of you, shut the fuck up right now and stop acting like five year olds. Collins doesn't need this right now, and frankly, neither do I." She walked away and into the church by herself, leaving Roger, Mark, and Jackie on the curb.
Jackie sighed and turned to Mark. "I'm going to follow her. You're not going to kill each other if I leave you both out here alone, are you?"
Roger shrugged and shoved his hands in his jacket pocket. "Let's go."
Mark agreed and walked in with him, side by side.
They had managed to pull their way through the crowds of people gathered. Mimi and Jackie were positioned near the front with Harvey and Maureen. Roger carefully moved into the pew and sat down next to her. "Sorry about that."
"It's fine," she said carelessly. "We're all just really stressed out right now."
"Yeah." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders. "Where's Collins?"
"Sitting with Dan's family over there." Mimi pointed to the first pew, where Collins was seated next to a middle aged man and woman, along with Dan's sister Maria.
"I thought he'd sit with us," Maureen chimed in.
"Yeah, so did I," Mark added.
* * * *
"Where do you want all this food?" Maureen asked.
She and Harvey had their hands full with various cakes, pies, and meals, all courtesy of close friends, family, and coworkers of Dan. They had been slowly dropped off over the course of the day, but hadn't really been put away in any kind of particular order.
Collins looked up from the couch, where he was fixedly writing something on a piece of paper. "The desserts can go in the fridge. Put the meals in the freezer. Or take some of them home with you. I won't be eating all of them."
Maureen glanced at Harvey and nodded. "I guess we should just start stacking them."
"Yeah," he agreed. "Hey um—" He pulled Maureen aside and further into the kitchen. "Is he gonna be okay?"
"I hope so." She kissed Harvey on the cheek and started reorganizing Collins' refrigerator.
Harvey wrapped his arms around her waist and rested his chin on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"
She looked back at him and bit her lip. "I'll be okay." He kissed her just as Roger and Mimi walked into the kitchen. Maureen pulled away from him and slightly moved Harvey's hand off of her ass. "Oops," she giggled as Harvey laughed into her shoulder. She reached over for her martini glass and took a sip out of it.
Roger rolled his eyes and took it from her. Instead he finished it off and set it back on the counter. "You're pathetic."
"Roger," Mimi hissed at him.
"But she is! Look at her. Can you believe she actually wore a dress that tight to a funeral?" he said, altogether too loudly. "I mean seriously Mimi, she looks like she's trying to fuck the alter boy."
Mimi stared at him in shock. She knew Roger had a few drinks at the Life with everyone else after service at Collins' request, but he was barely intoxicated, although he had been silent and withdrawn in the limo back to the apartment.
Maureen opened her mouth to say something, but instead refilled her martini glass and laughed. Mimi knew Maureen was drunk by this point. "Oh look who decided to play leader today!" she said brightly, waving her arm in his direction. "Roger Davis, the former ex junkie and ladies' man himself! Oh no! Did I really say it? Let me bow down and kiss your feet right now because I'm so incredibly sorry."
"Shut up, Maureen," Roger scoffed at her. "Just do us all a favor and shut the fuck up."
"Roger!" Mimi shouted at him. "Stop it!"
Harvey took the glass from Maureen and set it on the counter. "Seriously, what's your problem?"
Roger laughed. "I've had lots of fucking problems, including your sister."
Harvey lunged for Roger, but luckily Mark had just come around the corner and grabbed him back just in time. Jackie walked out of Collins' spare bedroom, where she had just put down Luke for a nap, and walked over to Mimi to survey the scene.
"What the hell is going on?" she asked Harvey and Roger. "Don't you both have any respect?"
"I do. But Roger had to be an ass and first of all attack my girlfriend, and then insulted my sister."
Roger dove for Harvey and slammed him against the back of the kitchen counter. "I wasn't insulting April, okay? You don't know what we were like together. You don't know what I went through after she died. And where were you? You were probably on some yacht in Nantucket!" he shouted at him.
Harvey extended his arm and hooked Roger in his jaw. It happened in slow motion. Everyone in the room saw it—but nobody made any intention of stopping it. "You're a bastard. A no good, lying, junkie—"
"Dammit!" he cursed in pain. Roger caught Harvey on his cheek with his fist as Maureen smacked Roger on the side of his head.
"You're an asshole!" she screamed at him. "I hate you! You're the pathetic one, not me, okay?" Her lip started trembling as she brushed at a curl that had fallen into her face. "You have no right to sit here and judge people when you aren't perfect yourself! You're far from it!"
Mark pulled Roger away from Harvey and forced him down in the chair. "At least I don't sleep with everything with a dick," he shot back at her.
Maureen was crying by now and Harvey shot Roger a menacing glare. "Well at least I never had to inject a drug into my veins to make me happy," she sobbed before running out of the room.
"Maureen!" Harvey shouted after her as he made his way towards the fire escape.
"Can I ask why the two of you seem to think that my apartment is a battleground?" Collins asked simply. He was leaning against the wall and watching them all with the beginnings of a frown lingering on his face.
Mark, Roger, Jackie, and Mimi all turned around when they heard Collins speak. They hadn't noticed him standing there, and honestly had no idea how much he had seen or heard. But when they saw the disappointed look on his face, they all felt incredibly guilty for what he had just witnessed.
Roger stood up and faced him. "Collins—I," He held his hand to his bleeding lip as Mimi handed him a paper towel.
"You know, this time I'm not really interested in the how or why. If I'm not mistaken, it seems that a similar event to this one took place at Angel's funeral, and we all know what happened then. So Roger man, if you honestly have some unresolved issue with one of us, or something going on in your life, then I think you'd just better say it," Collins added calmly. "Because I think you've disrespected Dan and myself enough today, along with disrespecting yourself, Maureen, and Harvey."
Roger pressed the paper towel against his lip. "Fine. Alright, you all really want to know what's going on with me? Guess what? A part of me really wants to go on that goddamn tour and play my music, our music, the band's music. But I can't! I can't fucking go, because the other part of me knows that I have to stay here. So my career's about to go out the damn window, and nobody gives a shit! Nobody."
"Roger no, that's not true," Mimi said, pressing her hand against his arm.
"It's not? Then tell me why every time I try to bring it up with you, you don't want to hear about it? Like I'm supposed to stay here and waste away for however long I have left with all of you!" he shouted at her.
Mimi bit her lip and stared back at Mark, who had a disgusted look on his face. "What do you want me to tell you Roger?"
"I don't know!"
Collins shook his head and shifted his weight. "I've never said one word against you, Rog. I listened to you when you need someone there for you, and I helped pull you through withdrawal with Mark. But I'll be damned if I'm going to stand here and listen to you talk to your wife and your best friend this way. You want to go, you want to leave? What's stopping you? You want to spend hours on a tour bus playing show after show and sleeping with groupie after groupie then go ahead. The door's right that way. Nobody is stopping you. So don't you dare think you owe us anything at all." With that said, Collins opened the apartment door and slammed it loudly behind him.
"Jesus Christ!" Mark exclaimed, slamming the beer he was holding down on the counter. "Good fucking going, Roger."
"You know what Mark? I don't need it from you either, so shut your fucking mouth."
"Stop it," Mimi spoke up quietly. "Just both of you, stop it! Don't you get it! It's just like Angel! We're arguing again just like at his funeral. Don't you see what you're doing to Collins? He's always been the strong one for us and how do we repay him? By fighting and insulting each other at his boyfriend's funeral! What's wrong with us?" she shouted. "You want to talk about being unhappy Roger? Then why don't you go! Get out and fucking by an apartment where you can be a bachelor for the rest of your life. We all love you. Your daughter loves you! Why can't you see any of that instead of bitching about how once again, life has screwed you over. Guess what? We're all screwed over then."
"Mimi, calm down," Mark interrupted quietly. "Look, why don't we all just go upstairs and chill out. I'll go looking for Collins and then we can all talk later." He looked over to Roger, who had his eyes locked on the floor. "Okay Roger?"
"Yeah," he mumbled.
Mimi grabbed her coat and slipped it on, not waiting for him to follow before Roger grabbed her arm. "Get off," she warned him, pulling it out of his grasp.
"I'm sorry," he apologized. He closed the door and followed her up the steel stairs to the loft.
She turned around, silent tears slipping down her cheeks. "I want a divorce."
Roger stared at her and shook his head. "What? Mimi, come on."
"I do!" She wrapped her arms around herself and starting crying harder.
"No you don't!" he shouted at her.
"No I don't," she sobbed. "I love you." She then walked over to him and pressed her face into his chest, wrapping her arms around his stomach. "I miss him."
Roger kissed the top of her head and pulled her in close. "I know babe. I miss him too."
"I love you."
"I love you too." He wrapped his arm around her shoulders and helped her into the loft. They both made their way towards the bedroom. Roger sat down on the bed and loosened his tie, while Mimi quickly changed out of her dress and into a pair of pajama pants and a tee shirt of his.
She stretched out on the bed and Roger followed. He pulled her next to him and wrapped his arm around his waist. "Long day."
"The worst," she replied. "Now that everyone's mad at you."
"I'll talk to them and apologize later," he reassured her. "But you're okay?"
She nodded. "Yeah."
"Okay."
"I really miss him." She started crying again and Roger started rubbing her back.
"Yeah."
"You know what only reason I didn't want you to go on that tour was because—because I'm afraid that if you go, you won't come back," she whispered. "And I'm not ready to live without you right now."
Roger didn't know what to say to that, so instead he just rubbed her back until she eventually fell asleep.
* * * *
Maureen took a drag of her cigarette as she sat on the fire escape in the lawn chair. It had started to pour a few minutes ago, and her black dress was clinging to her, as was her curly hair. She knew Roger could say a lot of things when he was pissed off or drunk, and usually she was pretty good about taking them. Half the time she'd dish them back at him. But today, for some reason, she just snapped. It wasn't so much the fact that he had basically called her a whore, but it bothered her the most because she had tried to correct her ways. No one seemed to realize it. She and Harvey had been with each other for seven months, and she didn't care what anyone had to say about their relationship. She was in love with him, and for the first time in her life it honestly felt right. But what was wrong was that Roger criticized her and implied that she was cheating on Harvey right in front of her and everyone else in that room. She hated that for so many reasons, but mainly because no matter what she did, everyone still viewed her as the designated whore.
"Maureen?"
She put out her cigarette in the ashtray and set it by her feet. "Hi," she said quietly.
He came up behind her and wrapped a towel around her shoulders. "What did I tell you about smoking?"
She smiled a little at that. "I got them from your jacket pocket."
"I kind of figured something was missing?"
She tossed the pack back to him and he caught it. "There."
"I didn't mean that. I meant you."
"Oh," she said quietly. "Sorry about the scene I caused in there. I just couldn't stay in that room with him."
"So you decided to sit in the rain?"
"Yeah. Why not." She rested her head against the shoulder of his suit and sighed.
"He shouldn't have said what he did to you in there," Harvey replied.
"But it's the truth."
"No, it's not." Her faced her and took both of her hands in his. "You're not."
"Well I was," she said bitterly. "Way before I met you."
"I was a lot of things before I met you. I mean, everyone thinks I'm just this whore that can never have a stable relationship. I hate that, because they're so wrong! It's Maureen; oh she's such a drama queen! She sleeps with just about anybody she can manage to. I just wish that—"
Harvey cut her off by kissing her. "Marry me."
Maureen pulled away from him and stared him down. "What? Are you sober?"
He shrugged, laughed and held a finger up in front of her face. "Are you?"
"No! I mean, I am, a little bit!" she laughed. "But—"
"But what?" he asked. "Was that a yes?"
"Yes!" she laughed. She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back. "Yes."
"Okay then." He grinned at her and pulled the velvet box out of his coat pocket, and opened it to reveal a small princess cut pink stoned diamond. He slid the ring on her finger and leaned over and kissed her.
"Harvey! Jesus Christ! How much did you spend on this ring?"
"I'm not telling you."
"It's too expensive," she smiled at him. "But it's beautiful."
"I figured you'd like it."
"I do." She looked at him and started laughing. "You know, I just got this crazy idea."
"Which would be?"
"We should elope. One, because no one would expect it and it'd be random and spontaneous. Two, we could always have a regular wedding later," she laughed.
Harvey felt her forehead and glanced at her. "Is this you talking or the three martinis you had today?"
"Both."
"Well where would we elope?"
"Las Vegas?" she suggested. "Plus, we could go visit your parents after. And then we could just have a wedding with everyone else later on, in the fall or something."
He laughed and pulled her out of the chair. "Before we go anywhere you better change out of that dress."
She grabbed his hand and led him back into the apartment. "So we're going to do it?"
"Looks like it," he grinned. "I better call the airline."
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