Bankotsu: She doesn't own Inuyasha. Only Angie and Alex Warr.

Chapter 4: Numbed Wolf Encounters

About a week later after the performance, Angie was sitting quietly outside with Rin sitting in her lap as they both watched the small water-birds flap playfully in the ornamental pond in the center of the gardens that were on the extensive grounds of Sesshoumaru's lands. Rin was taking a small nap while the older girl brushed her hair softly, who couldn't help but feel like a surrogate mother to the small child.

Angie sighed and leaned back on her hands, staring up at the 3 o'clock sun. She shielded her eyes if it got too bright, but some clouds were passing over it just then, so it was okay. In her minds eye, though, she kept thinking back to the day before yesterday when her own twin had forgotten that Angie had even existed.

"Ow! Watch it, you stupid maid! I could have Sesshou-chan kill you right now if I wanted to!"

"But, sister. It's me, Angie!"

"Angie who? I don't know any Angie . . ."

Wiping the tears from her eyes, she faced the truth and embraced it whole- heartedly. "Sister was right . . . I'll never ever be able to beat her at anything . . . Sometimes I wish, mother," she whispered to the sky, absently stroking the peridot on her circlet. "That I had been your only baby girl . . ."

"Angie-sama wishes to be an only child?" Rin asked, looking up at her with sleep-dazed eyes. "Rin doesn't understand, Angie-sama."

Looking down at her little charge, Angela smiled. "You'll understand what me and my sister are like someday, Rin." She said, tapping the small girl's nose lightly.

Giggling, Rin edged away out of Angie's reach before demanding in much the same matter that she'd seen Sesshoumaru do. "Tell me what is going on between you and Alexandra-sama, Angie-sama!"

The teenager sighed and laid back, resting her arms behind her head. "My sister and I, we've always been exact opposites," she started as she closed her eyes and savored the calm that she found beneath her lids. "Alex was always the wild one, and I was the intelligent one. She could do everything she or I ever wanted to do, including getting any guy. Though, Alex has just now recently been getting too wild, and has always blamed the things that happened on me . . . No one wanted to be my friend, and soon I was as alone as if I'd been the last person on earth," she whispered, not even noticing that not only Rin still listened, but three other people who'd stumbled upon them as well. "I suppose you can call it intuition, but I'd always hoped that one thing would never come between us, and now it already has. I no longer have my own twin, of which we shared the same skin at one point. I no longer feel human; I just feel numb inside. She's always stolen or destroyed anything that ever gave me joy. She even took away my one chance at a normal life, with a decent friend or boyfriend." Angie kept her eyes closed, but tears just seeped through. "I still love her as my twin, but I can't help but think I should have died when we were born. It is easy for me to make sacrifices, cause that is all my life is worth to anyone anymore. Not even my own father loves me . . . the only person that ever made me feel normal was my mother, and she is dead because of a brain disease. I can't help but feel that in that instant I should have taken her place, but I hadn't..." She sat up and curled up as her next words were uneven as her body shook with the tears that came forth. "I love her, and I would do anything to make sure she is happy; even give up my own chance." She shook with bottled up emotions and gritted her teeth. "I know I shouldn't be saying this to you, Rin, but I just have to get this out: I hate not being able to make everybody happy! I'm not even able to make myself happy, so what chance do I have to take on the world? Why was I cursed in such a way..."

Angie relaxed, her breathing slowing. "I'm... sorry, Rin, mother, Alex, father, Sesshoumaru, everyone... I'll always fail you because I cannot do anything but screw everything up..."

The girl finally fell asleep, having cried herself silly. Rin stepped forward and laid her hand on Angie's head, wishing to help the older girl. She looked up and frowned at Sesshoumaru and Alex, shaking her head. She glanced back down before looking them in the eye. "You made Angie-sama cry!" She blamed them, huddling down next to the silent girl and searched for the warmth the older lass always seemed to have an abundance of. "Angie- sama doesn't deserve such sadness," she told them, glaring at them as much as she could behind tears. "Rin doesn't want to loose Angie-sama like Rin's mother! You jerks!"

†

The next morning, I awoke with such a headache, I just knew that what I'd admitted to Rin was reality. I'd thought it'd been all a dream last night, but after waking to find my eyes itchy and my little black tank top stained with tears. I'd taken to wearing that around lately, because the winter months were receding and I didn't like being hot, though I still hated it when one of the male guards made a perverted comment. Feeling a slight pressure pushing me down into the soft dewy grass, I turned my head and smiled, giggling at the sight of Rin made sleeping on my back, her little hands clutched in my shirt as if she would loose me if she let go. I blinked when I felt this warm feeling in my chest, something that I'd never before experienced . . . something nice.

To say the least, I was very touched by the scene, and would have eventually moved her to get up, if it hadn't been for the sudden storm striking down upon the small garden with such fury, I feared for both our lives.

I jerked us both up, carrying the small child in my arms, as I looked frantically around for any shelter, no matter how rickety if it could withstand this fury. The rain beat down upon the back of my unprotected neck and head, jarring me into painful realization that the rain would soon turn to hail. Do not ask me how I knew this, but I'd once been told to trust your instincts during a storm or else you'd wind up dead, and Rin's life depended on my ability to outwit this storm.

Since the castle was too far away to reach, I ran towards the small grove of cherry trees that lined to outskirts of the castle grounds. I looked down at my small charge and fretted with worry, for she was already starting to shiver, even though she wore much more clothing then I did. I didn't even care about my condition right then; Rin had much more to live for then I did.

I reached the tree lines just in time, as the hail started to fall without mercy. I panted for breath, wringing the water from my shirt and hair before turning to take care of Rin. She wasn't that soaked as me, but it was still enough to give her serious chills if I didn't get her warmed up soon.

Ignoring what my mind told me was futile, I grabbed her and held her close, hoping to share my abundance of body heat to keep her warm in the absence of a fire. I wouldn't have believed so, but I felt fiercely motherly to the small girl with whom I was put in charge of. Despite my sixteen years of upbringing that dictated I would never be a good mother, I figured I was doing pretty well with Rin. I hoped.

I did not want Rin to die because of my foolishness. I could not live with something that heart wrenching on my soul.

For hours we waited out in the raging storm, no one coming to our rescue, and during the whole time I kept her warm, ignoring my own shivers and chills. When the storm finally relinquished its hold on the mortal world, I crawled out from under the trees, still holding the small child to my chest tightly. I looked around at what the fury of the storm had wreaked on the once-lovely garden.

Sighing, I just started walking towards the door that led into the kitchen where the garden was positioned off of when another sudden burst of wind knocked me to the ground.

Cursing myself, I looked up and nearly choked on what little breath I had. One of my favorite sayings was the usual, 'out of the frying pan and into the fire', as a very familiar black-haired wolf demon prince stood before me, his usual cocky grin permanently plastered to his face. Now I know why a certain hanyou gets so pissed at that. It was just plain annoying.

But what got me started was the fact he had Rin tucked under one arm. "If you want to see this girl alive, bring your lord to the Wolf Tribe's lair," he told me, obviously confident I'd tell my lord Sesshoumaru.

He raced off, his tailwind kicking dirt into my face and making my throat in serious need of water. "Damn it," I ground out, one of my many elaborate facades falling away at the thought of my surrogate daughter being kidnapped just after we were in a terrible storm. "I'll get you for this, you damn wolf prince Kouga!" I growled, shaking my fist at the departing demon. I ran back inside, a plan forming within my mind.

A few minutes later, I was rushing about the storage room of the castle, putting together a sack of the supplies I would need to go after Kouga. Of course I wouldn't tell Sesshoumaru. He'd kill me, and probably go after Rin anyway. I shook my head and picked out a nice thick cloak that would keep my warm at night and not to mention keep me dry from the weather.

"Where are you going, wench?"

I spun around to come face to face with Sesshoumaru, who looked down at me with an emotion that made me shake in my sneakers. Pity shone in his eyes like a bright beacon, something I'd never seen on anyone's face when they looked at me. But now... he looked at me with such pity in those eyes, I began to hate him. "You gave me a duty. I'm doing just as you asked me to do," I told him, turning my back on him, (Stupid.) and went pack to stuffing the sack with a large sheet of canvas, some padding, and a small amulet with a symbol that meant safe traveling for wanderers.

He grabbed my arm, jerking me around to face him. His amber eyes locked with mine and he leaned forward. "Tell me what happened now."

I sighed, knowing that once this whole scenario was over, I'd die. But it didn't matter. I was good as dead already. "Forgive me, my lord, but this is for the best," I whispered, kissing his startled mouth as my energy sword shot through his stomach, piercing the armor.

Stunned by the kiss and the attack, he fell to the floor, falling unconscious.

I smiled slowly down at him, my hand rising to my lips in wonder. My first kiss... but it hadn't been true. I had stolen it from him, while stabbing him with my energy sword. Shaking my head, I stepped over his limp body and hurried out the door to uncertainty and determination. I'm coming Rin, just hang on.

End Chapter 4: Numbed Wolf Encounters