CHAPTER 64
* * * *
APRIL 13th
"And then, Snow White and the Prince lived happily ever." Roger finished the book and set it on the nightstand, moving Jaylynn around in his lap to get comfortable.
"How come?" she asked him, looking up at Roger with her big, brown eyes.
Mimi moved her head on the pillow slightly and looked at Jaylynn. "Because that's the way the story ends, baby," she coughed weakly. "With…the dwarfs and everything."
"Cool."
Roger laughed and smiled. He had taught Jaylynn that word last week. "How about you get ready for bed?"
"Okay. Mama come?"
"No, baby. Mama has to stay here," Mimi explained softly. "But give me a goodnight kiss, okay?"
"Okay." Jaylynn crawled over and wrapped her arms softly around her mother's neck, burying her face in her shoulder. This time, Mimi held on a little bit longer, rubbing her hand down her daughter's tiny back.
"I love you, Jaylynn Angela. Don't forget that."
"Love you, Mama."
Roger looked at Mimi, and he picked up Jaylynn and carried her to the doorway. "Night, Jay?"
"Night Mama!"
Mimi coughed and smiled. "Send in Mark for me, okay?"
"Sure." Roger walked out of the room and into the living room. "Mark?"
"Yeah?" Mark looked over from the island, where he was sitting with Jackie. They had both stayed for dinner with Hannah, who was sound asleep in her carrier near the couch. Mark's mother had offered to take Luke for the weekend.
"Mimi wants to see you for a minute."
"Oh." Jackie paled a little bit, and said something to him quickly. He then got up and headed for Mimi and Roger's bedroom, as Roger entered Jaylynn's room to put her down for the night.
"Hey stranger," Mimi greeted Mark once she saw him standing uncomfortably by the dresser. "I don't bite or anything," she joked.
"Yeah…I know that. It's just—really hard seeing you this way. I hope that doesn't sound too blunt, or, yeah."
Mimi smiled at Mark's awkwardness. "Come sit down?"
"Sure." Mark sat down on the edge of the bed and watched Mimi pull an envelope out of a composition book that was set next to her pillow. She handed it to him and he eyed it curiously. "What's this?"
"Something for you. Just do me a favor and open it after, you know? Okay?"
"You got it," Mark told her, leaning over to kiss her on the forehead. "Anything I can get you?"
"No. I'm fine. It's getting late, you and Jackie should probably be getting back. I'll see you in the morning."
"Okay." He understood that Mimi was probably exhausted. Roger told him that she barely stayed awake for long lately. After dinner, when Roger had went to see how Mimi was doing, Mark had told Jackie that he wished Roger would admit her back into the hospital. Although it probably couldn't prolong her life, he hoped that the doctors could do something to make her more comfortable than she was now. He knew that stubborn as Roger was, he would never go for it. He wanted Mimi to stay home, and it wasn't Mark's place to fight him for that.
"Well…I probably should get some sleep."
"Yeah. Sorry to keep you up."
"No problem," Mimi yawned. "Love you, Marky."
"Love you too." Mark dimmed the lights and left the door slightly open as he walked back into the living room. Jackie was sitting on the couch, feeding Hannah her bottle.
"Everything okay?" Jackie asked, looking up at him.
"Yeah. Fine. You almost ready to go?"
She nodded and put the cap back on the bottle. "Let me just burp her and try to get her settled down. You want to go and start the car?"
He nodded and pulled the keys out of his pocket. "I'll tell Roger we're leaving then."
"Okay."
Mark stuck his head in and waved at Roger, who was standing over Jaylynn's bed silently, arms crossed over his chest. "Hey, we're gonna get going. I've got work in the morning and Jackie looks pretty tired."
"Oh yeah. I almost forgot you two were still here. Mimi asleep?"
"I think so."
"Yeah. I'll see you in the morning then."
"Thanks for dinner."
Roger smirked and shrugged. "If you call takeout dinner?"
"Food's food," Mark laughed. "See you, Rog."
Roger checked one more time that Jaylynn had fallen asleep and was warm enough before leaving her bedroom. He then walked into his own bedroom and walked over to Mimi's side of the bed. She had her eyes closed, but he knew she wasn't sleeping. It was more of a routine that she went through before she did fall asleep. He gently kissed her on the lips softly and she opened her eyes.
"You should know better then to sneak up on a girl when she's asleep," she smiled. "Coming to bed?"
"I have to shower and make a phone call to Wes, but I'll come to bed in about an hour. That okay?"
"Yeah, of course. I love you."
"I love you too." Roger smoothed down her hair and smiled. "Really, I love you Mimi."
"So do I. I love you."
* * * *
It was late, a little after one, when Roger finally headed to bed. The shower had gone by quickly…but the phone call to Wes hadn't. He should have probably saved it to the morning, but every time he was on the phone with the drummer, they always had a habit of getting into one thing after another. They always had a few laughs, and Roger definitely needed that lately.
He looked over at the bed and knew Mimi was asleep. He hoped she hadn't tried to wait up for him. He made a mental note to ask her in the morning.
Yawning, Roger kicked aside a pile of dirty laundry and stripped out of his shirt and pants, leaving himself in his boxers. Just a regular old part of his bedtime routine. He took his AZT, set the glass on the nightstand, and turned off the phone in the bedroom. He always did this, because he never wanted it to wake Mimi in the mornings.
A light breeze blew over the bed and instantly Roger realized that he had forgotten to close the window over the bed earlier. He looked over at Mimi before doing so, and figured he might as well risk waking her up to ask her if she wanted to leave the window open. Sometimes she had a rough night with her coughing, and the air helped her. Tonight he wasn't sure—and it was breezy out for April. He didn't want her to catch a chill. He realized he was debating over this too much, and finally gave in and asked her.
"Hey, Mimi," he whispered. "Do you want me to leave the window open?"
When there was no answer right away, Roger knew it was normal. Sometimes you had to repeat her name a few times, and then she would wake up. He smiled a little and ran his fingers through her curly hair.
"Mimi…" he called out again. "You want me to keep the window open?"
He shook her shoulder gently and smiled. "Mimi." Roger ran his hand down her arm and grasped her hand. Her fingers were freezing. "Mimi?" He looked up and dropped her hand. Her chest was no longer rising and falling rhythmically with the pattern of her breathing. "Mimi!" He rested his cheek over her mouth and then dropped his head onto her chest. "Mimi, no," he started sobbing. "No."
Roger wanted to believe that he was prepared for this all along, but in reality, he wasn't. Mimi was gone. He hadn't been prepared for it all. Not like this.
He laid out next to her and wrapped his arms around her waist and kissed her softly on her now cold lips. She was still warm. Roger didn't want to—she couldn't be.
But she was.
"I'm sorry…I love you," Roger repeated slowly, lifting her hand up to kiss it. "I love you."
He wasn't ready to call anyone yet. It was too soon. They could wait a few hours. He wanted to lay here alone with his Mimi, because he knew that after tonight, he'd no longer be able to.
And on April fourteenth, what once was would never be again.
* * * *
Maureen sat up in bed and watched Harvey get changed quickly in the dark. "Is it time for you to get ready for rehearsal already? You have another early one today?" she yawned, half asleep.
Harvey jumped, obviously not realizing that his wife had woken up. "Hey…no. I um, Maureen?"
"Yeah sweetie?"
He sat down on the edge of the bed and took her hand in his. "I got a phone call from Jackie about ten minutes ago—"
Maureen started shaking her head. "No…"
"Yeah. Mimi died…sometime early this morning. I'm sorry." He raised his hand up and ran it against her cheek lightly.
She rested her head against his chest and said nothing as he hugged her tightly and rubbed her back. "How's Roger?" she whispered.
"Jackie didn't say. Her and Mark left to go over to the loft now. That's where I was about to go."
"Can I come with you?"
He nodded. "Yeah. Just throw a jacket on. It's breezy out tonight."
Maureen got out of the bed and stood up, walking over to the closet and pulling out a sweatshirt jacket. She pulled it on over her blue plaid pajama pants and slipped her sneakers on.
Harvey had reentered their bedroom with his car keys and he jingled them together in his pocket. "Ready?"
"Yeah."
He held out his hand to her and they left their apartment for the parking deck.
* * * *
Roger shifted a sleeping Jaylynn on his lap and rubbed her back. He had spent much of the early morning intently focusing on the television, just to avoid everyone else that had come over to the loft.
Mark and Jackie had been the first to arrive after Collins, whom Roger had called first. Harvey and Maureen showed up a little later, and for the most part, not much had been said since anyone had gotten there. The coroner had come and gone, and now all was left were the sounds of heavy sobs coming from Maureen and Jackie in what was Mark's old bedroom. He really wished they would all stop, because it was starting to annoy the hell out of him.
"Mark!" he called out.
Mark came out of the bedroom and leaned up against the edge of the couch. "Yeah, Rog? Can I get you anything?"
"Take her for me? I need a smoke."
"Uh, okay." Mark picked up Jaylynn and watched as Roger walked to the kitchen, pulled out a cigarette from his pack, and lit it. "I just don't—you're not reacting."
Roger blew out the smoke into the room. "How the fuck am I supposed to react? Don't even fucking think for a second you can read me like a book and tell me what I should or shouldn't be saying. Do you honestly want me to get up and skip around and pretend I'm happy right now? My wife died. Mimi's gone. There, is that enough reacting for you? Mimi's gone."
Speechlessly, Mark laid Jaylynn down on the couch and walked over to Roger. "Look, hey, no one's trying to get you to say or do anything. We just—we know it's hard, Roger."
"But do you really?"
Mark didn't know what to say to that. "No, I guess I honestly don't know."
"Okay."
"But what are you thinking?"
Roger sighed and slammed his hand down on the counter. "Hey, guess what Mark? Haven't gotten that far either." He ran his fingers through his hair and sighed. "The only time I get to see her is before I wake up."
"What do you mean?" Mark sat down on a barstool and rested his arms on the island counter.
"I know she's only been gone for a few hours—but if I fall asleep, only for a little while, or if I close my eyes, I see her face. Not too clearly or anything, but I see her. She's always there. And then I'm brought back to reality and she'll be there again—before I wake."
"Yeah. I get at what you're saying."
"I mean, she can never be brought back again, but she's there. In my dreams. Subconsciously."
"She'll always be there Roger. Always. I know you feel like a part of you is missing right now but—"
"No." Roger shook his head. "She'll always be there. She's not missing."
* * * *
"This is your city, Roger."
Mimi's funeral took place exactly five days later. When the autopsy came back, her official cause of death was from AIDS related complications as everyone had knew all along. She had just simply stopped breathing in her sleep. Her entire estranged family flew in from various parts of the world, as did Roger's family. Many words were said throughout the course of it, and afterwards, Thomas B. Collins told Roger there was a very bittersweet feeling left lingering in the air.
After Mimi's death, the once close group of friends scattered a small bit.
Mark and Jackie's marriage was never quite whole again after Hannah's birth. Their fights became more frequent, as did their feelings towards the United States and Australia. Jackie found out she was pregnant a final time in late 2003, and their daughter Nicole was born in May. Although it was a short-lived happiness, Mark and Jackie Cohen separated in January of 2005 after roughly seven years of marriage. Their custody battle eventually ended up in court, with sole custody granted to Jackie but extended visitation rights accepted by Mark. However, Jackie decided to move back to Sydney that spring, and she took six year old Hannah and baby Nicole with her. Luke, by this time eight years old, decided to live with his father in New York City. Jackie and Mark rarely spoke the first two years after their separation, only in matters regarding their children.
Jackie's ex boyfriend Josh eventually married in Los Angeles, and she never heard from him again.
Mark eventually worked his way up in rank (as everyone knew he would) and accepted the vice president's position at Static Film Productions. He made enough money to send Luke to a private school in downtown Manhattan. A few of his films did make it quite big on the independent scene. Jackie danced for three more years after her move with the Sydney Ballet, and eventually retired in late 2007 at the age of thirty-two, longer than she had ever expected. She accepted a position as a dance instructor and trained the upcoming dancers in the company, as well as choreographing major ballet productions.
Luke grew up to be interested in soccer and was playing on recreational teams by the age of five. When he reached high school, he made varsity his freshman year, as well as participating in outside leagues. Never as much of a great student as his parents would have liked, he was granted an athletic scholarship to the University of Maryland his senior year.
Hannah strayed away from ballet and instead joined gymnastics, which followed her throughout high school as well. Although she loved the sport, surfing was her first calling and she spent many days in the Pacific Ocean with her Uncle Shawn, perfecting her technique. Eventually she was involved in competitions and turned pro like she had ambitioned to be ever since she was little.
After spending a full year missing her father, Nicole moved back to the States around her twelfth birthday. She followed in her mother's footsteps and was enrolled in ballet classes by the age of three.
*
Harvey and Maureen's daughter, Audrey, was born in late 2000. Although they had the opportunity to have more children, they both mutually decided that one was enough. Maureen returned to Broadway in the spring of 2001 and made quite a name out of herself. She was in a various number of productions and was eventually cast in a few Hollywood movies. In February of 2009, Maureen received an Academy Award for Best Actress. No one was quite surprised when they heard of this. After all, Maureen always had been the perfect candidate through her fits and protests not so very long ago. They too eventually relocated to Los Angeles—for Maureen's career and so Harvey could be closer to his parents. Harvey retired from dance a few years after Jackie did, and resumed a teaching position as well.
Lisa (Mark's little sister) and Matt married in the spring of 2002, and had one more child besides Noah, a girl they named Melanie. They moved out of the apartment downstairs and into the Jersey suburbs.
Collins happily dated for the rest of his life, but never anything too serious after Angel and Dan. Her kept his teaching position at NYU, but eventually retired when he was no longer feeling up to it. Always the backbone of their "gang", Collins died in September of 2006 from complications.
Benny wasn't heard from that much after Mimi's death. In fact, no one was pretty sure what was up with their former landlord. It was rumored that he and Alison had moved to Connecticut, but nothing was confirmed.
Roger raised Jaylynn to the best of his ability for two years after Mimi's death. However, he had never quite been able to cope with her passing, and soon retreated into his old ways. For Jaylynn's benefit, Roger's mother stepped in and moved her to Scarsdale when she was five years old while Roger tried stint after stint with rehab. He wrote to Jaylynn every once in awhile, and tried to visit at least once a year, but soon enough those visits became few and far between. His daughter started growing up without his knowledge, and soon enough, it had been a good seven years since he had seen her last.
As you can see, the original friends did grow apart, as people eventually do. But everywhere they went, they were reminded of their experiences together and kept in touch as much as humanly possible.
* * * *
MARCH 2017
Mark cleared his throat and stared at Roger, Chris, and Jaylynn, who were all still gathered around the island. "So um, pretty much…I suppose that's it. That's about all I can really remember."
Roger drummed his fingers along the island, not meeting anyone's eyes. Jaylynn pulled her hand out of Chris' and stood up. She quickly grabbed her jacket and pulled it on, then opened the loft door and slammed it hard behind her.
"Hey, Jaylynn, wait—" Roger called after her. "Fuck."
"She does that a lot," Chris apologized. "Just give her a little bit. I mean, she just heard a lot of shit she never knew about. That's her way of coping with it. She'll be back."
"Well she probably just realized that he father is a fuck up who abandoned her. You sure she's coming back?"
* * * *
That was the end of the past part of this story. We have now returned to where this story first opened.
Just a few notes:
Jaylynn and Chris are still together, but Jaylynn does not have HIV. I rewrote that detail and have been meaning to change it in the beginning but haven't gotten around to it.
Please review!!