A/N: Thanks for the reviews on the last chapter. We're coming to a close, and this is one of the final chapters. Enjoy, and don't forget to review.
67.
At first, Jaylynn didn't want to open the letters addressed to her from Mimi. But as the days passed, she ended up never going to breakfast with Roger, but instead, slowing getting to know him. She was starting to feel more comfortable around her father, and late one night, towards the beginning of April, she started reading each and every one of the letters that were appropriate for the time and date. The ones she left unopened were for things that hadn't happened to her yet, like her engagement, her wedding, and her first baby, along with other things.
It had been hard, and by now Jaylynn had long since curled up in the guest room, sipping a cup of hot chocolate and taking the time to carefully read the letters. She had already completeld the early childhood ones, and had now moved on to the teenage years.
Dear Jaylynn,
Today you've started high school! I bet things have changed since I graduated in 1995. I bet you and all of your girl friends spent the night before staying up and doing your hair for hours and talking about your latest crush. I remember those days really well. I'm sure you look beautiful, but if you've got my curly hair, remember that gel is your friend.
Make new friends, and keep the old.
Love,
Mom
Dear Jaylynn,
Today is your sweet sixteen! I hope your father or Uncle Mark threw you a huge party that lasted into all hours of the night. I hope all your friends came and you danced your hearts out. Did you take lots of pictures? I'm sure you'll cherish them for a long time to come. Just don't let your Dad or Uncle Mark…or especially Aunt Maureen get near the punch bowl and wine coolers for too long!
Love,
Mom
Dear Jaylynn,
Tonight you've gone to prom…and then you'll be off to prom weekend! I know you looked gorgoues, your dress was fabulous, and your date was good looking and a nice guy. You took your pictures, danced to the slow songs, and shared good times with your friends. Did your corsage wilt after an hour? I know mine did, and my boyfriend at the time kept it refidgeraterd the whole day before. I'm sure your father was so proud of you.
Have a good weekend honey and be careful.
Love,
Mom
Dear Jaylynn,
So today you've graduated high school! Wow, how does it feel? I remember when I graduated high school. I hated my cap and gown because it was two sizes too big and there was no time to return it. I guess you can say I was pretty tiny, only about five foot one and ninety five pounds. Your dad used to tease me all the time about my height, always calling me the midget and little Meems. Hopefully, you've inherited his height genes are a few inches taller then I am.
Did you get anything good for graduation? I hope your dad or grandparents got you that car you wanted, or laptop, or something! I wish I could be there to see it. I'm sorry, sweetheart. I' love you.
I bet Mark has a camera shoved in your face right now. Smile pretty!
Love,
Mom
She dropped the last letter with a sniffle and curled up against the pillow, cradling the coffee mug in her hands. Jaylynn didn't know what to do, where to go, or who to turn to, but she figured that it wasn't too late, and that Roger was more than a viable option right now.
Quickly, she stood up and padded along the wood floor in her socks, opening the bedroom door silently. She heard Mark snoring from the couch, television still on for the night. She continued tiptoeing down the hall and opened the door to Roger's bedroom silently. There were no lights on in the room, and the television was showing a VH1 documentary of sorts. He didn't appear to be asleep, but didn't seem to be too awake either.
"Dad," Jaylynn whispered, wrapping her arms around her chest. He didn't answer, so she walked a little bit closer and leaned slighty on the edge of the bed. Roger was lying on his side, an old afghan covering his tired body, but still, he made no intention of waking up. "Dad? Roger. Dad?"
Roger blinked slowly and sat up, coughing heavily. "Everything okay?"
"Oh, uh, yeah. I just wanted to let you know that I read the letters."
He nodded and dropped his eyes to the bedspread. "Do you understand, a little better now?"
Jaylynn nodded. "I think so."
"Okay. Good."
"Well anyway, good night." She turned around and walked back towards the door.
"Jay, wait."
"Yeah?"
"I just wanted you to know…that I've made some pretty fucked up mistakes in my life, but you were never one of them. You were the best thing that ever happened to me."
"Then why did you let me go?"
Roger shook his head. "I don't know why. But there's nothing I can do to change that. Maybe you reminded me of your mother and it hurt too much to look at you and go on living. I didn't have a grip on reality. But I do now."
"But it's too late now. You're dying," Jaylynn whispered, her eyes welling up with tears. "And then I have no one. All my life I held onto the memory of you as I grew up. I won't even have that anymore. I'll forget what you look like. I'm forgetting you already."
"I won't forget you," Roger told her, coughing again. "I never did."
Jaylynn nodded. "Are you okay?"
He shook his head. "I'm having a hard time catching my breath. Wake Mark up, okay? I might have to go to the hospital and get another breathing treatment."
She ran out of the room, her heart beating fast in her chest. "Mark? Uncle Mark?"
Mark sat up on the couch and reached over to the coffee table for his glasses. "Yeah? What's wrong, Jaylynn? Shit, did I fall asleep on the damn couch again? I swear, I'm getting so old," he laughed. "Jaylynn?"
"It's Da--Roger. He says he can't catch his breath."
"Okay. This happens sometimes. He just needs to get a breathing treatment at the hospital. Get my keys off the counter and warm the car up. I'll go help him out of bed and meet you downstairs."
1:45 AM
Jaylynn rested her head against the wall of the waiting room, moving the coffee cup around from hand to hand. It had been an hour and a half since they had arrived in the emergency room, and she hadn't heard anything from Mark or any of the doctors since then.
Taking a sip of the coffee, she glanced up and saw Mark finally striding towards her. She stood up and smoothed down the wrinkle out of her shirt. "Do they know anything yet?"
"It's um…they say eighty percent of his lungs are filled with fluid right now. The breathing treatments aren't working, and neither are the medications that he's been on for the past few months or the ones they're giving to him right now."
"So what does that mean?" Jaylynn asked, her voice rising slightly. She felt a lump form in her throat, and she didn't know exactly why it was there, but it wouldn't go away.
"They're going to move him to a private room. I called Luke in Liverpool and he should be on the next flight to New York right now. Actually, he's probably in the air already. Jackie, Hannah, and Nicole are leaving for the airport in Sydney. Harvey, Maureen, and their daughter are leaving for the airport too. Roger's parents, your grandparents, are driving up from Baltimore—"
"Mark, shut up!" Jaylynn shouted at him. "What does that mean? Is he dying tonight?"
Mark sighed. "He's been dying all along."
"Is this the end?"
He nodded, slowly at first. "I think so. I've been prepared for this for twenty years. But now that's it's here, I'm not ready. You're never ready."
We're almost finished now, just about another chapter and an epilogue to go. Thanks for sticking with me this far, and reviews would be appreciated greatly. =]
Lyrics are from 'Butterfly Kisses' by Bob Carlisle.