If Sonya was surprised at that, she didn't show it. She picked Sara up and said, "You have got to tell Gil."
"I can't... He would lose so much respect, knowing that I... that I killed my baby."
"Okay, first off, Sara. Look at me." Sara forced herself to look into Sonya's eyes again. "You did not kill your baby. Miscarriages are things that happen. You did not kill your baby."
Those words slightly penetrated the thick cloud of self-hatred Sara had shrouded around herself.
"Secondly, miscarriages are a serious physical condition. You need to go to the doctor."
Sara's eyes flew open to that. Sonya gave her no time to argue.
"Now, we are going out there with that birthday cake," She said, pointing to Gil's cake. "And you are going to keep it together until then. You hear me?"
Sara nodded and they stood in there hugging for awhile, while Sara regained her self-composure. She just met the girl and she admitted more personal information to her than she would to a shrink. There was something about her eyes... she seemed so trustworthy...
They lit the candles and walked into the room, singing, joining the hideously out-of-tune chorus of "Happy Birthday".
As people started to leave, Sonya shot an intense look to Sara, who swallowed heavily and hung back while everyone was shooed out of the door. She was so distracted she didn't notice that Greg hung back and started to talk to Sonya.
"Gil... can we speak in private?" Sara asked, gesturing towards the kitchen door. He nodded, automatically sensing the serious nature of her request.
"Gil, I. . . I have to tell you something."
He looked at her and didn't say anything.
"Eight weeks ago, I... I got pregnant."
Gil still stood there, and didn't say anything.
"And two weeks ago, I had just gotten home and I... I started to bleed. Badly. I took a pregnancy test about five days ago and it was... negative." It almost hurt her to say this.
"Gil, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you before. It's just..."
"Well, Sara, it is none of my business. Is there anything else you would like to tell me?"
Sara paused, a million thoughts pouring through her mind, but again, she just shook her head. Suddenly, another pain shot through her, making her collapse onto the floor, her face contorted in inexplicable pain.
Suddenly, the veil of calm was ripped off of Gil's face as he dropped to the floor beside her.
"Sara! Sara, please tell me what's wrong." He tried to lay her straight but the pain pulled Sara into a shaking fetal position. Sonya and Greg ran over.
"Sonya, call an ambulance." Sonya flew off to his phone, while Greg looked over her with worried eyes.
The pain left her suddenly, panting on the floor. She felt cold. Grissom's pained face looked over her with such gentle care...
Sara stood up suddenly, and said, "I'm fine, you don't need to call an ambulance. I'm... fine. Dandy. Marvelous..." Her voice drifted off as three unbelieving faces connected with hers.
"They sent an ambulance." Sonya said, breaking the silence.
Sara leaned back into Grissom's lap, exhausted. She couldn't argue with these people.
TWO DAYS LATER:
Sara was sleeping in her hospital bed when she awoke, she saw Catherine watching her.
"Ugh," She grunted, wincing at the IV sticking in her arm. She sat herself up as her eyes swept the room. There were flowers from well-wishers scattered all over.
Sara paused, then asked the inevitable question: "So, what's wrong with me?"
Catherine sighed and said slowly, "Well, your uterus took a real beating..."
Sara started to feel slight fear, "Catherine. Will they... Can they save my uterus?"
Catherine sighed again, "Well, they really don't know yet. You're under observation for awhile."
Sara closed her eyes slowly and slowly ran her fingers over her stomach. The thought that it would hit this hard never occurred to her until right now.
"Go to sleep now, Sara." Catherine slowly smoothed her hands over her hair. Sara slumped over and fell back to sleep.
TWO MORE DAYS LATER:
Nick was there to take Sara home. She had been feeling better and the hospital decided to let her go, giving her about forty prescriptions as a welcome home gift.
Nick walked into the room and saw Sara, looking a lot better then she did, even when she was working previously. He came as the nurse said she was about to get the wheelchair to push her out. She left Nick and Sara to their uncomfortable silence.
"So." Nick said intelligently, clearing his throat.
"Yeah." She said. She was dressed in her clothes and looking a lot more refreshed.
"You know, Sara, I have to say this. You scared me. A lot."
She looked at her shoes.
"I'm embarrassed." She admitted.
"Why?"
"For letting myself go like this. I can't just ask for help. I have too much pride."
Nick raised his eyebrows, agreeing with her silently.
"You should have been there, Nicky. The way Grissom looked at me... he looked ashamed... it hurt. More than the other pains..."
Nick loaded her into the wheelchair and said, "Don't worry. Grissom will come around, Sara. You should have seen how scared he was. It may not seem that way, but he cares a lot for you."
Sara snapped up, shocked that he knew... that he knew she had a childish... thing... for Gil.
"Nick?"
"Yeah?"
She felt like saying something along the lines of how much of a good friend he was, but instead she said, "Remember the last time we were in a hospital together?"
Nick winced, "That was the same day I swore to never get pushed out of a window again."
Sara laughed.
THREE WEEKS LATER:
The LVCL had become normal again. Normal, if you consider the fact that Sonya was there every day. She would somehow always convince Gil that she wouldn't make any trouble and somehow end up there everyday. Since many of the people were in and out, and she wasn't allowed at any crime scenes, she spent most of her time with Al Robbins in the autopsy room. She was amazingly strong-stomached and curious. Al treated her mostly like a young college student and she was an eager pupil. She divided her time between Al and Greg.
One day, Gil was getting ready to head out when he saw Sonya and Greg in his office, his door shut and they were dancing like crazy maniacs. Gil walked over and opened the door and music poured out.
"What are you guys doing?" Gil asked in disbelief. "What are you guys listening to?"
Greg tossed over a CD. "The Who's 'Who Are You.' It's really cool!"
Gil walked over to the boom box and turned it off. "Get back to work."
Sonya grabbed the CD case and said, "Hey," to Greg's and Gil's backs. They spun around.
"Y'know, if this Lab needed one, this so would be your theme song."
They fell into a silence and pondered what she just said, and then they all shrugged and headed out to work.
Greg was having the time of his life. He would teach her how to work with the machines and it was nice to have someone around to talk to him about all kinds of things. It was funny, because they seemed to be almost complete opposites, which is why he was so drawn to her. They probably cancelled each other out perfectly in the "cosmos".
Gil was getting used to having a roommate. It was hard to think of her as a daughter because of her maturity. They would talk during dinner and sit around talking more.
There was one thing Gil noticed, though. Whenever he would lean in to hug her or touch her, she would stiffen like a board. No matter how much she tried to convince people otherwise, she was still afraid of physical contact, and psychological habits are hard to break.
MANY MONTHS LATER:
One day at the LVCL, Sonya's 78th time there, not that Greg was counting, she was in his office and he was processing DNA so they sat down on two seats and continued talking about whatever random things flew into their minds when Greg paused and asked her, without even thinking, "Do you wanna go eat?"
She paused, and looked at her watch. "Sure."
Greg jumped into his car and drove her over to one of his favorite places. They walked in and sat on the stools on the counter of the Deli.
While she was talking and eating her sandwich, Greg was thinking about how much things have changed. He used to look at every woman that
would pass, but he found he had tunnel vision whenever Sonya was in the room.
Greg was afraid to say it, but he thought he was falling in love.
Then, like a cold bucket of ice poured on his head, reality would set in and not only was he ten years older than her, but she was Grissom's daughter! How much unavailable can she get?
He found out when he decided to lean in and kiss her.
It could not have been any better. It was slow and gentle and so completely true that it could have lasted forever. Greg ran his fingers down her cheekbone as the world around him dissolved.
Sonya was shocked, but went with it. She slowly lifted her hands and ran her fingers through his hair. Then, it happened:
Herman Connors came back from work, pissed off, as usual. Sonya was upstairs, silently studying when she heard the footsteps... They were coming closer... Closer. They stopped, right outside her door...
Sonya ripped the kiss apart, whispering "No."
Greg's eyes popped open, and he said, "What?"
She lowered her eyes and said, "Greg, we need to talk."
Greg immediately felt his heart freeze.
"I..." For the first time in her life, Sonya looked vulnerable.
Greg found he had unearthed a very tender spot and said, "I'm sorry. I am so sorry."
"No, Greg, it's-" She fell silent.
He paid for their food and they drove back the Lab. Greg was so emotional. He never figured anyone could make him feel so helpless. So right when Grissom got back from a case he and Catherine had been working, Greg walked up to him directly, and pointed, very un-Greg-like, right at Gil's face and said, in front of everybody, "I need to talk to you, now." He spun around heading to Gil's office without looking back. Gil walked over, shut the door and said, "Yes Greg?"
"What-" He paused, trying to regain his cool as he lowered his voice, "What happened to Sonya?"
Gil somehow knew exactly what Greg was talking about, "What Sonya has dealt with in her past is her business."
Greg put it together easily. "She... Oh God, she was sexually abused..." He couldn't bring himself to say anymore.
Gil didn't say anything as Greg exited.
The weeks after passed without much excitement. Greg and Sonya were still talking, but Greg had to keep reminding himself about how he couldn't be falling in love with her. Which didn't help. At all.
Before they knew it, it had been three months. If someone knew the crew of the LVCL four months ago and then saw them now, they would have never guessed that one simple murder case could change everyone so very much.
"God doesn't call the equipped, he equips the called."