Thanks for all the encouragement, support and constructive criticism. It is certainly appreciated!
***
Akira kept tossing and turning on the bed, sleep eluded him. He did not like losing control of his emotions. That was unlike him. But the fact that he had done just that three days ago, and with Shindou, had been enough to keep him awake most of the night. Again.
It was all Shindou's fault of course. Ever since that fateful evening when they played their first game, Shindou had become a recurring subject of frustration for Akira. He wanted to unravel all of the mysteries surrounding him. He wanted learn all of his secrets. He wanted all of him.
Yes, he wanted Hikaru and intended to make him his. He was not going to wait any longer. But he would not break the vow he made to himself. A vow that was proving more difficult to keep than he ever anticipated: he would make Hikaru admit he wanted him too.
He wasn't sure when had it started. All he knew was that at one point, Go had become secondary and all that mattered was Shindou Hikaru. He had stopped thinking of strategies and stones; bright green eyes plagued his thoughts instead. He started to imagine running his fingers through strands of unruly bleached hair and planting kisses on smooth tanned skin. Akira found himself wishing he could run into Hikaru just to see him, just to be near him. At the same time he dreaded being close to him, for he feared what would happen if Hikaru discovered all of this.
Akira had never felt this way about anyone and it was eating him inside. He thought there was no hope that Hikaru could reciprocate this attraction, and that mere notion was enough to make him feel ill.
And he would have continued to believe in the hopelessness of this situation if it hadn't been for that almost fortuitous mistake in his schedule a few weeks ago. He had not been notified that the date of one of his demonstration matches had been changed, and showed up at the Go institute on the wrong day. After finding out about the mistake, he was going to hurry up and go home, but before he reached the lobby he spotted Shindou coming in and stopped dead on his tracks. Hikaru seemed to notice his presence at the same moment and his carefree stride came to an abrupt halt. They stood there, staring at each other for what appeared to be an eternity. And then the most peculiar thing happened: Hikaru's cheeks turned a furious shade of red. He appeared to be in a rush all of the sudden and practically sprinted pass by him.
Akira didn't overlook that reaction, and from that day on, he started to follow Hikaru's every move. He started to notice the way Hikaru glanced in his direction when he didn't think he was looking. The way he nervously tugged at the collar his shirt when he looked at him. How he constantly avoided him. The way he became slightly breathless when he was too close to him.
And then he knew. He wanted him too, even if Hikaru showed remarkable resistance to his kiss.
That kiss.
Akira grew restless again and got out of bed. He paced and he prowled around the small bedroom. He finally decided that maybe a little Go could help calm his thoughts. Akira settled in from of the board, his hand reached for the stones but he didn't grab them, he drummed his fingers on the edge of the goban and sighed. It was useless; nothing would take his mind away from Shindou and that kiss.
Even after days away from his presence and long after his blood should have cooled, this intense desire for Shindou remained. When he closed his eyes, he could see it all happen again. The way Hikaru faced him with defiance, the proud tilt of his chin, the challenge in his eyes. Akira's mouth went dry as he recalled the passion that had lurked in the depths of those emerald eyes. But it had been the slight shivers that run through Hikaru's body when he yielded to his touch that made him lose himself in the kiss.
Akira cleared his throat and mentally reprimanded himself for his lack of discipline. He had not intended things to occur that way. He was supposed to stay in control the whole time. He had only meant to confront Shindou, to make him acknowledge there was something between them, even to taunt and tease him a bit. He hadn't counted on how Hikaru's reaction would affect him. He didn't expect Shindou's lips to taste so sweet, his skin to smell so good or to feel so warm. He never imagined that in extorting a response from the other boy, his own feelings would overflow and threaten to take completely over him. And that was something he could not allow to happen.
You are going to surrender to me.
You are going to be mine.
You will belong to me, and to me only.
Yes, that's the way it's going to be. And when that happened, he would finally free himself from the unbearable uncertainty, the hopelessness, the frustration, and the agony that was to want Shindou Hikaru.
***
To be continued… I think…we'll see.