Draco and Ginny's Rant

by Tiny Q

Imagine if all the HP characters had to act out every single fan fiction that they have ever been written into. It would be totally twisted. This is my take on what might happen behind the scenes of a D/G fic.

2. Rant 2

Title: Draco and Ginny's Rant Part 2

Author: Tiny Q

E-Mail: one_legged_lesbian_seagull@hotmail.com

A/N: Well, I'm at it again.  My friend Lallie and I have been talking about D/G fics for a while now and I really wanted to do another rant.  I finally got around to it.  ~happy dance~  Now remembers: none of this is directed at other authors but more just at my own frustration with my own stories.  SO DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY!! 

Disclaimer:  I own nothing!  Especially the ideas that were Lallie's... or the random Monty Python rips and other rips... or my sister... or- How about you just read the story, eh?

Draco and Ginny's Rant Part 2

~*~

            "Ok, Colin," Ginny cooed as they both poked their heads around the corner.  "I'll go start a fight between Harry and Draco, you take pictures."

            "Got ya, Gin," Colin replied, holding up his precious cam-

Tiny Q: Phone!  ~scurries off~

Ginny: Phone again?

Draco: Seems like it.  ~glances at typed up story~  So you're going to start a fight, eh?  How do you intend to do that?

Ginny: Well, you know.  The usual flip of the hair, make you stop and stare at my dazzling beauty, you start to drool, Harry gets jealous.  ~shrug~  Fighting begins.

Draco: ~stares~

Ginny: And if that failed, I could simply have screamed rape.  ~innocent smile~

Draco: ~stares some more~

Ginny: Oh come on, it's not that terrible of an idea.

Draco: It's not that, I just couldn't get past the idea of Harry getting jealous. 

Ginny: He would so get jealous.  I'm Ginny Weasley.

Draco: Right...

Ginny: ~looks around~  Well I think we're going to be here for a while yet.  Her voice keeps spiking, I think she's having a good time.

Draco: Pity.  I was so looking forward to another wonderful epic that proves Tiny Q's insanity.

Ginny: I thought she ran out of ideas.

Draco: well, look at the beginning of this supposed story, does that seem like a strong first paragraph to you?

Ginny: ~stares~ No, I suppose it isn't.  At least we get a touch of a brake.

Draco: Aye, it's getting pretty bad lately, isn't it?  And the scary prospect is that it can still get much worse.

Ginny: Well I suppose, but I mean what do you expect when every probable idea or scenario has been used so often it's been ground into the earth.

Draco: Taking us with it.

Ginny: ~nods~ I mean, how many times can I honestly fall off my broom?  I'm not that big of a klutz.

Draco: Or how many times could I still not get the Snitch before that bloody Potter.

Ginny: Uh, Draco… I don't think the authors can help you with that…

Draco: ~evil glare~  Shut up.  At least I haven't been portrayed as utterly daft lately.

Ginny: No.  You just come out as utterly stupid.

Draco: If I didn't…

Ginny: You wouldn't anyway so don't bother wasting your breath.

Draco: My, you're getting bitter.

Ginny: Well of course I am!  I'm getting really sick of all the shit I am having to go through!  It's the same thing over and over again.  You save me, or something like that, I fall in love, or the other way around, and then we can't get together cause of our families, or something stupid like that, and yet we get together anyways!  ~flails her arms about~  WHAT DO YOU EXPECT!!

Draco: ~stares~ Yes, Ginny...  I think they have gotten to you...

Ginny: See?  But it's not really the clichés and reused ideas that get to me, it's the sex.

Draco: ~squeaks~ Sex?

Ginny: Yes Draco, sex.  It seems that the only thing a story needs to get some attention is sex or at the very least heavy make-out sessions.  It's ridicules!  Life isn't like that!

Draco: If you say so...

Ginny: ~dark glare~

Draco:  I'm a guy!  I have needs.

Ginny: ~shakes head~ Like a psychiatrist.

Draco: I think I've had a few already thanks.

Ginny: So have I.  But seriously now, if we started snogging right here and now, I'm sure we'd get a hell of a lot of attention.

Draco: Ok!  ~moves in closer~

Ginny: Oh grow up!

Draco: It was your suggestion.

Ginny: I was being sarcastic.

Draco: Well sorry.

Ginny: No you're not.

Draco: No, you're right.

Ginny: ~shakes head~ And after all that sex, do you know exactly how many times you have impregnated me?  Hasn't anyone ever heard of safe sex around here?!

Draco: ~grins~

Ginny: ~glares~

Draco: Ehem.  I mean, far too many times.  The first bit.  It's as if people are trying to say that with a child the family's complete and everything's peachy.

Ginny: So not realistic.

Draco: ~nods~  But then I suppose we live in a magical world and everything should be-

Sneezy: ~gasp~ Tiny Q's writing about sex.  ~stares in horror then shoots her hand up into the air~  Run away!  ~runs away~

Ginny: Well that was...

Draco: Interesting...

~both stare at Tiny Q's fleeing sister~

Ginny: Uh, what were we talking about?

Draco: ...I can't remember.

Ginny: Great.  Now what are we going to do? 

Draco: How about we debate why everyone thinks my father is abusive.

Ginny: Well, his is a bastard...

Draco: Yes, I'll give you that.  But why would I look up and adore someone like that?  It just doesn't make sense!

Ginny: Well... it could be a reflection-

Draco: Oh shut up.

Ginny: Fine.  I'm not saying a single word until that stupid Q returns. 

~plops down on the ground and pouts~

Draco: Well fine then.  I'll just sit here and stare at you until you can't take it anymore and are forced to say something.  The Weasley in you won't stand for it. 

~sits down in front of her and is true to his word~

Twenty Minutes Later

Ginny: Gah!  I can't take it any more!  Just stop staring!  ~Buries her head in her hands~

Draco: ~evil laugh~  You know, I don't think I do that often enough...

~sound of stomping footsteps~

Tiny Q: Time to write!  Time to write!  Time to- Oh poop.  You two wrote your own story.  Again.  ~glares~  Well fine then.

~saves story and then goes off to draw some terrible pictures depicting Draco falling off a cliff and Ginny being harassed by elephants.  And then just for good measure draws Nevilliepoo~

Ginny: Why elephants?

Draco: Why a cliff?

Together: Why Nevilliepoo?!

The End?

~*~

A/N: Well, there you have it: yet another crappy chapter.  And what fun it was.  Well, I'm going to go off and stick my head in a hole.  No one can flame me there!  Mwa ha ha ha!  Well, except maybe my ass...

Many thanks to the people who actually enjoyed the first part: Kat, Gaberial's Angel, QueenC, VirtualFaerie, Lee Velviet, Lallie, Laurie Lupin, Jedi Tess of Gryffindor, rainbow dreamer, tajuki, Manissetan, StarNight, fizzyglitter, aHeyiouyehuik(Thanks, but I think I'll skip that little party, if you don't mind of course.), tulzdavampslayer, Never Again, Auri, evilryokojesseandfiend, jessica and Tuilindo.