A/N: Em: Hello to all my wonderful readers1 George is absent at the moment as he refused to be a part of a chapter called "Naked Elves" He He He! But George told me to say not to worry to all his fangirls (Yeah right) he is in the chapter but had no part in writing it.

Now that is done I will say a very big Thank you to ElfAngel5687 and NiphrediL-GED for their reviews.

Disclaimer: You can sue me for disturbing your lives but you can't sue for BORROWING the wonderful Fellowship.

Chapter six - Naked Elves

"Hey Aragorn, did you know it's possible to die of boredom?" Growled George as he began to search through Emily's bag, which lay on the grass.

"This is the eighth time you have asked me that question! Is there a point or are you just trying to find out the answer by BORING ME TO DEATH!"

"No there is no point...wait a minute! How long have we been here?" Sniffed George as the cogs of his mind began to kick into action again, after a long period of brain numbing silence.

"This will be the ninth day of our time in Lothlorien" Aragorn paused as he saw George's face drop, "What now?!"

"Tell me, have you or anyone else in the Fellowship seen either Legolas or Emily since we first arrived?"

"Well Legolas is catching up with his friends! And as for your sister, not even the Valar knows where she is!"

"You don't think there could be a link?!"

"You are the slowest human being I have ever met in my entire life!" George turned to see Boromir walk out of the trees.

"Your entire life, which will be ending shortly!" Muttered George.

"Pardon!"

"Oh nothing! Anyway back this link!" Squirmed George.

"Oh I think it is pretty obvious!" Laughed Boromir.

George's eyes went wide, "Feel...Insides...wanting to explode...Too much grossness! Bad thoughts. VERY BAD THOUGHTS! Arrgghhhhh!!!!!!!" With this George ran off into the bushes, screaming and hollering. "I hate that Boromir! Where does he get these stupid ideas from, Em would never go off gallivanting with some prissy elf prince! Would she?!"

George continued on his path down to the lake, he began to gather some stones so he could practice skimming. He bent down to retrieve a stone that was the perfect shape, as he rose he was met with the sight of something that would scar him for life!

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Nine days earlier...

"Wait what am I..."

Emily ignored George's words and continued on her stalking of Legolas.

"I wonder where he is going? Oooh maybe he's going to have a bath, now that would be something I cannot miss!"

Legolas turned around and spotted the very noticeable Emily trying to hide behind a tree.

"What are you doing?" Asked Legolas as he walked over and helped Emily pull out various leaves and twigs from her hair, which had taken refuge there after her recent scramble for a hiding place.

"Well... I was... Umm... Making sure that... Umm... You were O.K!" Emily smiled, convinced that the stalking charge might be dropped.

"Indeed! Well I can assure you that I am perfectly capable of looking after myself"

"That's what you think, but what if some screaming fan girls were to land on middle-earth? What would you do then?"

Legolas looked on in confusion.

"I propose that I should stay with you and if the occasion should arise when you need a temporary girlfriend to help scare away hyperventilating teenagers I shall be by your side!"

Somehow Legolas came to the conclusion that this was a genius plan, "Well I suppose having you around could be useful at times."

"Really!" Emily couldn't believe that he was agreeing to this. "You really are naturally blonde!"

Legolas raised an eyebrow at this and carried on his way.

Nine days later...

"Emily please stop following me for just a little while! I really need to take a bath, you wouldn't want me to start smelling like Aragorn would you?!" Pleaded Legolas.

"Fine! But if you get ambushed it'll be your own fault!"

"I shall bear that in mind!"

Legolas skulked off to the lake, but Emily wasn't going to let him get away that easily. Her years of Orlando Bloom stalking had come in handy as she scaled a tree by the lake and peered down on the unsuspecting Legolas who had just started to remove his clothes.

"Breathe, just take big, deep breaths!" Whispered Emily to herself as her eyes widened at the sight before her. Eventually it all became a bit too much for Em as the elf prince went to remove his pants. Her footing on the branch slipped as her brain paralyzed.

Legolas looked up only to see Emily hurtling towards him, the next thing he knew he was sent flying into the lake along with the screeching girl.

After a few moments of splashing around in the clear depths of the lake the two surfaced in a position, which looked like page fourteen of the Karma-Sutra! Before anything could be said the pair turned to the path to see George beginning to rise from investigating a stone.

"Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

This high-pitched scream alerted the entire population of Lothlorien that something was awry and soon a crowd had gathered around the lake. Legolas who had now turned an interesting shade of pink let go of Emily who was lounging in his arms looking rather smug with herself.

"Hey!" Spluttered Emily as she reappeared from beneath the water line, "What was that for?!"

Legolas had seemed to have lost the use of his mouth and just stayed still treading water with his mouth wide open.

"O.K people nothing here to see now, move along, don't you elves have homes to go to?" George rounded up and out the crowd that had gathered. "Em! Get out of that lake right now! I want a word with you!" Bellowed George.

"Whatever!" Sighed Emily as she began to swim towards dry land, "Hey Legolas! Did you know white goes see through when wet!" Emily looked down beneath the clear water at the prince's choice in white underwear.

With this Legolas scrambled to shore, grabbed his things and ran off into the forest before Emily could have a chance to notice the redness which had spread to the tips of his ears.

"I don't know why he is running, he's got nothing to be ashamed of!" Giggled Emily as water steamed off her face.

"Please, please tell me that the only reason you two were in a lake together is because by a strange series of events you 'accidentally' removed his clothes and were pushed by Sauron's minions into the lake!" Squirmed George.

"I wish! By a strange series of event I fell in taking a unsuspecting Legolas in with me!"

"And the nakedness of a certain elf...?

"Ha! That is for me to know and for you to find out" With that Emily turned from the path in search of some dry clothes.

****

"Captain's Log number 1.5.... We have set up lodging in Lothlorien, who knows when we shall escape. My useless fuckwit of a sis has shacked up with some elf boy and left me to settle the minds of the Fellowship! I have been sent on a mission to the spring in search of some she-elves, I can't see them yet but I am going to find them, if I have to search every puddle of water on this middle-earth I will find them, I've got to mister!"

George, bless him, had let isolation go to his head.

"Ah ha! I had a dog and his name was BINGO!" George had noticed a group of she-elves swimming in a spring. He also noticed a pile of clothes placed on a nearby rock.

****

"My lady I am sorry, I try to keep them under control but it just seems everything I do they always ignore it," Aragorn gulped as Galadriel looked down on him sternly.

"Those two teenagers are a danger, not just to middle-earth but to themselves! They know things only those with the gift of foresight can see, if we lose them then middle-earth will be lost!"

Emily who was dropping some eaves on the conversation had to hold in a laugh, *Galadriel thinks George and I are the key to the survival of middle-earth!*

All of a sudden Emily was shaken out of her thoughts by the squealing of a mass of naked she-elves running after George who was lost under an armful of clothes.

"Shit these elves can run fast!" Panted George as he finally gave up and dropped all the clothes. He smiled innocently but as soon as he noticed the idea of murder on the faces of the she-elves he leapt into a full sprint.

Galadriel turned to Aragorn and raised an eyebrow, "Under control!"

***

A/N: I feel lonely without George telling me what to write! Come back George! If you would like George to come back could you please say so in your reviews! He is very needy and wants to feel loved!

Next chapter is called Etiquette and moisture! BET YOU CAN'T WAIT!