A/N: Emily: Hello is anyone out there? We got no reviews! People I'm down on my knees, I need to know if people are reading this let alone liking it!

George: Would you like me to beg as well?

Disclaimer: I own my dirty laundry, half a pack of melted Rolos, a cheese grater and some bizarre glowing thing that looks radioactive. Do you see any of Tolkien's characters in that list?

Chapter Eight - Get the hell out of my forest!

"Aragorn I crave a word with you." Galadriel tapped the ranger on the shoulder, "The time has come when you and the rest Fellowship have to move on."

"What! We were due to stay for another two weeks. Why the sudden change?" Aragorn didn't mind the thought of leaving but was shocked by the elf queen's sudden change in heart, after all it had been her who suggested that they stay for the time that they did.

"The enemy is drawing closer, I can feel it... I think... Oh what the hell! It's those teenagers, I can't stand them any longer, that boy and his crude words and as for that girl, well I'd rather not talk about the effect she is having on the elves of this place, I mean those tops she wears!"

"As you wish. I will ready the Fellowship, we will leave at dawn."

****

"Thank the lord! We're free! Yay!" Emily and George couldn't hold in their contentment. "No more freaky elf witch, no more elves giving us evil looks!"

"And no more stupid sword lessons with Aragorn!" Added George.

"I thought you liked me!" Wailed Aragorn.

"I only said that to stop you crying!"

"You were crying!" Laughed Legolas.

"Shut up elf-boy!" Retaliated Aragorn.

"Boy! I'm older than you! Although the years have been kinder to me!"

"Look if you really insist on having five people like you here's one to replace me! There is a girl back on earth called Liz who would do just about anything for you, for some unknown reason!" George groaned.

"Liz? She must be really cool!" Aragorn chirped up.

"More like insane!" Laughed Emily.

"She'd have to be insane to fancy him!" Added George.

"And Weird!"

"Not to mention kinda freaky!"

"O.K. Enough already!" Shouted Liz, who appeared from nowhere. Just as quickly as she arrived she disappeared. *Poof*

"That was weird!" Gasped George.

"Lets just all get some rest! I can't be hearing about the neediness of Aragorn." Grumbled Boromir who had been disturbed by the noise.

"Ahhhh Bless, Boz needs his beauty sleep!" Giggled Emily.

****

"Never before have we clad strangers in the garb of our own people. May these cloaks shield you from unfriendly eyes." Celeborn presented ten cloaks to the Fellowship.

"Mine is too long!" Moaned Emily.

"Mine is too short!" Grumbled George.

"Swap?"

"Definitely!"

After the original Fellowship were presented with their gifts Emily and George began to wonder whether or not they were to receive any pressies.

"I think they have forgotten us!" Emily was leading George to the river to help Legolas ready the boats.

"Or they just don't like us!"

"Hmm... Maybe we should ask, what do you think?"

"Couldn't hurt I suppose." George concluded.

"George is it me or do Merry and Pippin look like they are going to explode?"

"It'll be that Lembas, this only means one thing."

"What?"

"The Lembas commercial! You know, when Legolas goes 'Hey Lembas is grrrrrrreat!' Or something along those lines."

"Frosties are going to sue us now, you do know that right?"

The two teenagers listened awaiting Legolas' lines.

"Lembas. Elvish waybread. One small bite is enough to fill the stomach of a grown man."

Merry and Pippin nodded politely, while their stomachs proceeded to churn over the excess of food, which lay slothfully in the pits of their abdomens.

"Right forget helping I want my present!" Pronounced George as he turned in the other direction towards Galadriel's talen.

****   

"You ask first."

"Why me?"

"It was your idea to ask!"

"Fine!" Emily gave in and approached Galadriel. "Hi, I was just wondering, if perhaps you wanted to give George and I some goodies. What do you think?"

"Get the hell out of my forest!" Screamed Galadriel, forgetting her normal Elven valor.

"That's a no then!" Emily retreated.

"Well now that she is gone." George stepped forward, "I would like some TNT, and you are just the person or elf as it were, to supply me with what I need!"

"Well now that you mention it I did get my hands on some quality stuff last week. How I acquired it I will keep to myself but don't you fret master George I will sort something out, Savvy?" replied Galadriel.

George nodded then left and approached his sister who was waiting for him at the bottom of the tree.

"How come you didn't get shouted at?" Whined Emily.

"Did you know that Galadriel was into arms dealing?!"

"Huh?" Was the reply from Emily.

"Never mind, I suppose we had better get in those wooden, rickety, crapply made, tiny, weak and pathetic excuses for boats!"

"You never liked sailing did you?!" Laughed Emily.

"No it's just that I would hate to see you drown!" Quirked George.

****

"I shall be in that boat with three of the Hobbits," Aragorn began. "Boromir, Gimli and the last Hobbit in that one. That leaves Legolas with Emily and George." Aragorn smiled when he saw the smile on Legolas' face drop.

"W...Wh...What did you say?"

"I thought Elves didn't stammer!" Pronounced George.

"Is there a problem?" Inquired Aragorn, as Emily and George clambered into their boat.

Legolas was about to protest when Aragorn began to lip-synch something. Legolas then realized what it was he was saying.

"No problem!" Legolas practically jumped into the boat.

"What's wrong?! Don't you want to share your dream with everyone?!" Aragorn gave a lopsided grin.

Before he could say anything else Legolas had already begun to row away.

"Don't worry Legolas!" Beamed Emily.

"He told you didn't he!?" Legolas' eyes widened in horror.

Emily grinned in reply.

"Am I missing out on something?" George was confused as the elf looked as if he was just about to jump out of the boat.

"Like I said, don't worry, George and I have a plan, which will wipe that smug look off his face!"

"We do?!" George was even more confused now.      

****

The boats passed through the Argonath and what would have been a momentous occasion for Emily if she weren't asleep on Legolas' shoulder and drooling like a baby.

"Well it's a wonder you haven't proposed yet! I mean isn't that attractive?!" George was bored and attempted to wake Emily up by prodding her with one of the oars.

"Stop that! Let Lady Emily sleep! If you are bored why don't you do something useful like ROW!"

"I know why don't I teach you some useful phrases?"

"Useful phrases?"

"Well I am sensing a lil' friction between you and sir stinkalot. I am the master of comebacks so next time Ara - I think I am so funny - gorn tries to crack a joke, you your highness will be equipped with the wittiest retort ever heard by anyone on Middle-earth!"

"I am listening."

****

The Fellowship beached and settled down on one side of the great river.

"We cross the lake at nightfall." Aragorn said as he unloaded some supplies from the boats. "Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the North."

"Oh yes?" Began Gimli. "Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil an impassible labyrinth of razor sharp rocks. And after that, it gets even better. A festering, stinking..."

"Is he talking about himself?" Groaned George as he dragged Emily out of their boat. While pulling her out he noticed a bag that he hadn't seen before. He peeked inside and saw a collection of explosives. "Ah ha! TNT! Don't you just love Galadriel!" He announced just in time to here Aragorn begin to speak to Gimli.

"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf."

"Recover my - - !"

Legolas moved over towards Aragorn, "We should leave now."

"No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for the cover of darkness."

"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it."

Aragorn ignored the elf. Legolas turned to leave but George began to motion to him to carry on.

Legolas turned back to Aragorn, "Well seeing as you are not listening to me, you smell worst than a gorilla's posing pouch, you could grease an engine with your hair and Arwen and I had a fling about two hundred years ago!" He smiled, turned on his heals and walked over to help Emily down from a tree where George had left her.

Author's conversation:

E: *Why did you put me in a tree*

G: *Felt like it*

E: *Makes sense!*

Back to the story...

Aragorn glared at the back of the elf then turned his attentions to an 'inconspicuous' George who was humming through his teeth.

"That elf has potential!" Beamed George as he smiled at his protégé. "But Legolas, you forgot the part about him looking like a goat! I did like that Arwen part though, did you really have....." George trailed off as he followed Legolas to the tree.

"George where did Frodo go?!" Screamed Emily.

"Oh crap!"

****

A/N: Emily: The next chapter is already written, please review then I will be able to put it up before I go stay with George at Uni next Wednesday

George: Oh yeah I forgot you were coming! Better go do that laundry.