A/N: Emily: I survived Canterbury and George's excuse for a room. Though he did do his laundry,

George: How much crap though did you need to bring. You came for five days and you brought a lorry load of crap!

Emily: It was not crap it was essentials.

George: Yeah whatever!

Emily: Thank to Christian for my phrase of the month. Jenkie Jenkie. Keep the Hobbit spirit alive Dude. Thank you to ElfAngel5687 our most loyal reviewer, and to harukafan80, leather pants eh? That would most definitely work; look out for that in later chapters.

George: *gags*

Disclaimer: We have used so much shit form other things we are going to get sued anyway but hey it's worth a try. We own nothing, nada, zilch!

Chapter Ten - Holy Shit!

"George, remember back in the mines when you suggested Quad Bikes were a good idea, you could be on to something." Panted Emily as she and her brother desperately tried to keep up with the elf and the dwarf.

"Lungs need to explode! I haven't run this far since that P.E. Teacher forced me to do twenty laps of the football field! I knew filling her whistle up with washing up liquid was a bad idea. Yeesh! Even Gimli's ahead of us." Gasped George,

Legolas turned round to watch the two teenagers struggle up the hill.

"Come, we are gaining on them."

Legolas and Gimli continued on but stopped suddenly when they heard a low rumbling sound approaching from behind.

"Wo Ho! Quad bikes rule! Keep up guys." Yelled George as he and Emily overtook them on their newly acquired Quad bikes, compliments of the magic bag.

"I don't suppose you want to give me a lift?" Begged Gimli as the bikes sped ahead leaving himself and Legolas behind. "No, didn't think so."

Legolas and Gimli continued on the trail of the Uruk Hai, while Emily and George circled them endlessly trying out new stunts. All unaware of the two humans following closely on their tails.

"I am absolutely knackered!" Stated Emily.

"What? You have not been the one running! Three days and nights pursuit. No food. No rest, and no sign of our quarry but what bare rock can tell." Grumbled Gimli.

"How about I give Gimli a lift and you can teach ponce Leg....I meant PRINCE Legolas how to bike and he can give you a lift, while you, you lazy idiot sleep." Pronounced George.

"That sounds like a plan!" Exclaimed Emily. "Right, this is the accelerator, it makes the thing move. This is the brake, it makes the thing stop and this is the crotch....."

"Crotch!" Spluttered George.

"....Clutch! I said Clutch! And I have no idea what that does.

"You don't know what a crotch does!" Laughed George.

"Those are the basics." Finished Emily as she glared at her brother.

"This is going to be the death of me." Sighed Legolas as he reluctantly sat on the bike.

Emily hopped on behind him and soon enough the remaining Fellowship were driving across the plains.

****

"So you are telling that those two idiots managed to frame you!" Laughed Boromir, as he and Aragorn continued their pursuit.

"I don't see what is so funny." Gasped Aragorn.

"Well it is just that the future King of Gondor got tricked by two absent minded retards!" Boromir couldn't hold it in any longer, he fell to the ground in a heap of giggles and snorts.

"Revenge will be mine." Stated Aragorn coldly.

****

Emily wrapped her arms tightly around Legolas' waist, not because she was scared of falling off, but because, well I think we all know the reason why anyone would want to touch the stunning Legolas Greenleaf.

After a few minutes Emily began to get bored, this was not unsual for Emily who has the attention span of half beaten to death, with a newspaper, drunk shrimp.

'What shall I do?' Thought Emily. 'Legolas' thigh looks lonely.' Her train of thought began to take a disturbing path. 'I bet it's really firm! Lets test out my theory.'

With this Emily placed an 'innocent' hand on the elf's leg, which, much to the surprise and enjoyment of Emily sparked a 'large' reaction in the elf's breeches.

Emily could see Legolas' eyes widen and seeing as both his hands were busy steering the bike she decided he needed a helping hand. With one flick of the wrist Emily's right hand was down the front of Legolas' breeches.

"HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Screamed Emily and Legolas in unison as the Quad Bike veered to the left and collided head on with a tree.

"Noooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!" Called George.

Legolas, after a few seconds rubbing his forehead climbed off the bike, dragging an unconscious Emily with him.

"What happened?!" Yelled Gimli as he ran over to the tangled mess of metal. "I thought elves were graceful."

"She...She...Hands...Wrong!" Gasped Legolas waving his arms around frantically.

Gimli and George stared on in confusion.

"Hands! She...She..." Legolas turned a strange shade of purple.

"What?" Questioned Gimli.

Legolas continued to change color.

"Why did you crash?" Persisted George.

"I...urm...she...hands. I lost control of the bike." Groaned Legolas finally. He was too embarrassed to admit what Emily had been up to.

"Really?!" Laughed Gimli.

"Yes really." Stated Legolas as he picked up the sleeping Emily and placed her on the other Quad bike.

"Urhhmmttggee!!" Moaned Emily as she began to regain consciousness. "What happened?"

"You don't remember?" Questioned Legolas reluctantly.

"I remember tree and for some weird reason, sausages."

Legolas began to cough violently; this caused George to raise a suspicious eyebrow.

"Why did you and Legolas want revenge on Aragorn?" Asked George.

"Don't you think we should be getting on?" Called Legolas hoping to change the subject.

"Not until I find out what is going on between you two!"

"Us two!" Shrieked Legolas.

"Them two?" Grunted Gimli.

Everyone turned to Emily.

"Urm? Well you see..." Emily looked at Legolas who looked as if he was about to pass out. "Nothing is going on!"

"Nothing?"

"Yes, you know how much I despise Aragorn... Who is running towards us!!!!!!!!"

"Huh?" George spun round to be greeted with the sight of a mad ranger with blood lust in his eyes.

"I thought Boromir was dead." Said Legolas who was peering at something behind Aragorn.

"He is."

"It would seem not." Added Emily as Boromir came into view.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhh!" Roared Aragorn, "Get here you little ratbags, I am going to kill you."

"Help!" Yelped Emily as she jumped behind Legolas.

"Slightly over exaggerating. He not really going to..." George stopped as Aragorn pulled out his sword, "Holy potatoes he's gonna kill us!"

Just as Aragorn was about to remove Emily and George from the story, Boromir jumped in.

"Stop! They saved my life!" He yelled.

"What?" Said Aragorn, Legolas and Gimli.

"We did?" Asked George and Emily.

"You told me they tried to blow you up." Screamed Aragorn.

"You did what?!" Scowled Legolas turning to look at the two teenagers.

"It wasn't quite like that."

"Listen!" Began Boromir, "If they had not used TNT, Lurtz would have killed me!"

"Yeah" shouted Emily.

"But they nearly blew you up!" Protested Aragorn.

"But we didn't! Even though we thought we did." Said Emily.

"What's all this WE business, it was you." Growled George.

"What? This was your fault!"

"Just coz it was my TNT, does not mean it was my fault!"

"I'm confused, who killed who?" Asked Gimli.

"They killed Boromir," stated Aragorn who pointed rudely at Emily and George.

"She killed Boromir," added George.

"You did!"

"But Boromir is not dead." Added Legolas.

"Thanks for noticing." Called Boromir.

"We saved him." Yelled Emily.

"How can you possibly save someone with TNT!" Cried Aragorn.

George smiled and was about to open his mouth but was interrupted by Emily.

"If so much as even hum that stupid TNT song I will remove all aspects of your vocal chords and feed them to a rabid Koala who will get so upset that it will maim you horribly only leaving your trainers, which might I add should have a nuclear zone warning sign on them!"

"I am so confused!" Grunted Gimli.

"Boromir is alive!" Gasped George who was a bit slow on the uptake after recovering from Emily's insult.

"I'm confused now." Groaned Legolas.

"Look, it is quite simple. By accidentally, trying to kill Boromir, we in fact saved him by killing Lurtz, who was going to kill him, if we didn't blow up Lurtz Boromir would be dead and Aragorn wouldn't be trying to kill us now, so in short why the hell did we save Boromir?" Gasped Emily and George in unison.

"That makes sense." Said a rather surprised Boromir.

"It did?"

"No."

"What?"

"Now I am confused." Sighed Emily.

"I am just mildly puzzled!" Grinned George.

"It doesn't matter that they did in fact save him! It matters that they tried to frame me!" Screamed Aragorn.

"With good reason." Muttered Legolas under his breath.

Aragorn continued, "They must be punished!"

"Yay! I have handcuffs!" Giggled Emily.

"You are disturbed!" Groaned George.

"Why do we not just forget about what has happened, forgive Lady Emily and Master George and continue on our quest of rescuing Merry and Pippin." Stated Legolas calmly.

"You gotta love that elf!" Admitted George.

"What! How can you let them get away with this?"

"Relax Aragorn, we wouldn't want you to have a heart attack." Said Emily, in her sincerest voice.

The Fellowship now regrouped and friends again (well most of them), carried on through the night running after the Uruks.

****

"A red sun rises. Blood has been spilled this night." Pondered Legolas.

"Is he always like this?" Gasped Boromir.

"Since they day I met him! I used to call him 'mister states the obvious.'" Replied Aragorn.

"I heard that."

"You hear everything!"

The Fellowship paused as the ground began to shake with the footfalls of the riders of Rohan.

****

A/N: Yay Rohan here we come.

The next chapter is being worked on but we think it's going to be called "Nice Horsy!"