Disclaimer: I'm not Tamora Pierce and all the orginal people and places belong to her. Things you don't recognize are mine.
Early July,
Storm Head's Peak,
Northwestern Tortall;
in the 21st year of the reign of
King Jonathan the IV and Thayet, his Queen
460 H.E. (Human Era)
Chapter 2, Wartime
Linnorria looked down from the fief's wall sadly. Now eleven, the girl had changed little in the last year. She was taller, now four foot ten, but still small, her hair was an inch or two longer, but otherwise you wouldn't notice any change in her appearance.
This look was deceiving. Linnorria had changed quite a bit. Since she had been unable to begin knight training last year, but she had worked hard. Every day she ran the length of the wall, sometimes more. She practiced archery several days a week. Now she could hit close to the center of the target nearly every time. With less success, she had gotten staff training, from whoever was available, twice a week. She still had bruised fingers after nearly every session but not as many as she had at the beginning.
The taunts however had been much harder to endure than the bruises. That was why she was sitting on the wall.
Linnorria hated just about everybody right now. She hated Rosemary for openly calling her names. Even though she was to be presented to court next month, and only acted "unladylike" around Linya. She hated the guards for laughing behind hands and sometimes suggesting that she go do "womenly" tasks, and leave the fighting to them. She hated the servants and townsfolk for talking about her behind her back. To afraid of her and her rank to openly call her names. She hated the stupid war and the stupid Scranans most of all.
The war had flourished this past year as king Maggar gained control of all of Scrana. Storm Head's Peak had sent food, clothing and other supplies to the border monthly when they could.
There had even been one skirmish there. A band of fifty Scranan raiders had gotten past the patrols further north. It had been Linya's first time to see combat. It had been sickening. The screams had chilled her but she hadn't panicked. The raiders had foolishly tried to attack the caravan that was taking supplies to the border. Linya and her father had been riding with them, planning to leave them at the border of their lands. It had been foolish because not only had there been the normal three squads of soldiers with the caravan, but their had been an additional two squads to accompany the Baron and his daughter home. The numbers had been even, but the soldiers had had the advantage of knowing the terrain. Linnorria had watched in sick fascination, wishing for her bow, as the guards destroyed the Scranans.
But that had been in May, Linya now sat on the wall silently. The guards near her shifting their feet in wariness. 'Oh I'm not that bad,' Linya thought. 'I only lost control twice. It's not like I'm a monster. Maybe it's just that I'm in a bad mood.' At least that's what she hoped.
"I what I need is a little acceptance," Linya said to herself in a mutter the guards were unable to hear. "That's all I ask, just one person to like me. Just me. For being myself. Not thinking that I'm a wild animal, or a source of entertainment. My parents might try to understand; but they're afraid to. Just like the rest of them. They gave birth to me for Mirthos sake!"
Linya got up with a sigh. 'Their I go again!' she thought as she walked down the steps. 'Wanting the world to be perfect again. Well I'll just have to get used to it. Maybe if I get to go and be a page I'd get more acceptances. Or at least people would only say I'm odd because of me wanting to be a knight, not that other thing. '
Linnorria looked up when she reached the ground wondering what to do next. She had just finished her archery practice and her mother wouldn't need her for anything for another hour or two. She quickly reached a decision and raced over to the pastures. Firemane was grazing on the far side. Linya whistled sharply between her teeth; Firemane's head jerked up at the sound. When she whistled again the yearling horse jogged over. Linya admired the way him as he approached. She loved how horses moved, it was such a fluid movement, and so much grace became evident. 'I wish I could move like,' Linya cut the thought off. ' Oh no you don't. Stop it, or it might happen again.'
When her horse was almost to the fence Linya climbed over it. Firemane came to her and immediately began sniffing her pockets for treats. "My, aren't we the greedy one," Linya said to the horse. She lovingly pulled out a sugar cube out of her pocket and fed it to the horse. "You'll be spoiled rotten soon if this goes on. But who cares. You're the best horse here. Seventeen hands high and only a year old. Next year I'll be able to start training you." The horse stood tall for the first statement seemingly saying, "I know I'm the best" but he snorted at her at the second statement. "You should be excited about it, Firemane Heartfelt. We'll be the best team in the realm in a couple of years."
Linya patted his side and led the horse to the stable. Inside she got out a brush and began to curry him. The horse leaned heavily on the brush sighing in content. Linya laughed at his clowning around. "You're trying to cheer me up," she accused. The horse got an innocent expression on his face. Linya imagined that had he been human he would be saying "Who? Me?" right about now.
Linnorria continued to groom the content horse until he glistened. Then she put the brushes away and led Firemane back outside. "You be good now. No teasing the other horsies," she whispered as she set him loose. He ran around the padlock as Linya turned away. "At least he understands and loves me," she muttered to herself as she turned away. "But he's a horse. Anybody can get a horse to love them by treating it kindly and giving it treats."
'Oh well,' Linya thought. 'I'd best get back to the keep. Mother'll be wanting me soon. And I don't want to keep her waiting.' Linya made a face; she'd rather skip seeing her mother at all. She knew they'd just end up arguing. Linya still wanted to be a knight but her mother insisted that she learn all kinds of stupid things she was absolutely certain she would not need to know.
Lady Melanie met her at the door. "Come on Linnorria," she said. "You need to work on your embroidery this afternoon."
Linya's face twisted. "Mother I plan on starting my training to be a knight in August. Do you really think I'll need to know how to embroider when I'm a knight?! Sewing was bad enough but I might need that someday so I learned. But embroidery?" Linya's mother adverted her eyes and Linnorria was instantly suspicious. "What is it Mother?" she asked trying to keep her voice civil.
"Well Linnorria, you won't be able to start training in August," Lady Melanie hurried on before her daughter protested. "I know you've already had to wait a year. But with the war going on this year we don't have the time or the people to spare to take you to Corus. You know how busy your father is."
Linya's face contorted she knew it was the truth but she had still hoped. Now her fears had been confirmed. Her eyes burned with the effort to hold back tears. "Well, I'm still not learning embroidery!" she told her mother in defiance. "If I can wait for one year I can wait for another. But next year I am going. Whether there is or isn't a war. I won't have you and father trying to keep me safe by coming up with more excuses!" She said the last words as she ran from the room.
She ran until she reached her chambers, then collapsed onto the bed. She let the tears flow, but only for a minute. Then and there she made her resolve. "I'll show them. I'll show everybody. I might be a girl and a freak but I can still be a knight. I know I'm different and I'll be proud of it from now on; not ashamed. I am who I am. And nobody has any right to try and change me. Or curse me because of it. I'll learn as much about myself as possible and learn control. But next year…" she paused, making her voice as firm as possible. "Next year Firemane and I ride for Corus. And knighthood."
Early July,
Storm Head's Peak,
Northwestern Tortall;
in the 21st year of the reign of
King Jonathan the IV and Thayet, his Queen
460 H.E. (Human Era)
Chapter 2, Wartime
Linnorria looked down from the fief's wall sadly. Now eleven, the girl had changed little in the last year. She was taller, now four foot ten, but still small, her hair was an inch or two longer, but otherwise you wouldn't notice any change in her appearance.
This look was deceiving. Linnorria had changed quite a bit. Since she had been unable to begin knight training last year, but she had worked hard. Every day she ran the length of the wall, sometimes more. She practiced archery several days a week. Now she could hit close to the center of the target nearly every time. With less success, she had gotten staff training, from whoever was available, twice a week. She still had bruised fingers after nearly every session but not as many as she had at the beginning.
The taunts however had been much harder to endure than the bruises. That was why she was sitting on the wall.
Linnorria hated just about everybody right now. She hated Rosemary for openly calling her names. Even though she was to be presented to court next month, and only acted "unladylike" around Linya. She hated the guards for laughing behind hands and sometimes suggesting that she go do "womenly" tasks, and leave the fighting to them. She hated the servants and townsfolk for talking about her behind her back. To afraid of her and her rank to openly call her names. She hated the stupid war and the stupid Scranans most of all.
The war had flourished this past year as king Maggar gained control of all of Scrana. Storm Head's Peak had sent food, clothing and other supplies to the border monthly when they could.
There had even been one skirmish there. A band of fifty Scranan raiders had gotten past the patrols further north. It had been Linya's first time to see combat. It had been sickening. The screams had chilled her but she hadn't panicked. The raiders had foolishly tried to attack the caravan that was taking supplies to the border. Linya and her father had been riding with them, planning to leave them at the border of their lands. It had been foolish because not only had there been the normal three squads of soldiers with the caravan, but their had been an additional two squads to accompany the Baron and his daughter home. The numbers had been even, but the soldiers had had the advantage of knowing the terrain. Linnorria had watched in sick fascination, wishing for her bow, as the guards destroyed the Scranans.
But that had been in May, Linya now sat on the wall silently. The guards near her shifting their feet in wariness. 'Oh I'm not that bad,' Linya thought. 'I only lost control twice. It's not like I'm a monster. Maybe it's just that I'm in a bad mood.' At least that's what she hoped.
"I what I need is a little acceptance," Linya said to herself in a mutter the guards were unable to hear. "That's all I ask, just one person to like me. Just me. For being myself. Not thinking that I'm a wild animal, or a source of entertainment. My parents might try to understand; but they're afraid to. Just like the rest of them. They gave birth to me for Mirthos sake!"
Linya got up with a sigh. 'Their I go again!' she thought as she walked down the steps. 'Wanting the world to be perfect again. Well I'll just have to get used to it. Maybe if I get to go and be a page I'd get more acceptances. Or at least people would only say I'm odd because of me wanting to be a knight, not that other thing. '
Linnorria looked up when she reached the ground wondering what to do next. She had just finished her archery practice and her mother wouldn't need her for anything for another hour or two. She quickly reached a decision and raced over to the pastures. Firemane was grazing on the far side. Linya whistled sharply between her teeth; Firemane's head jerked up at the sound. When she whistled again the yearling horse jogged over. Linya admired the way him as he approached. She loved how horses moved, it was such a fluid movement, and so much grace became evident. 'I wish I could move like,' Linya cut the thought off. ' Oh no you don't. Stop it, or it might happen again.'
When her horse was almost to the fence Linya climbed over it. Firemane came to her and immediately began sniffing her pockets for treats. "My, aren't we the greedy one," Linya said to the horse. She lovingly pulled out a sugar cube out of her pocket and fed it to the horse. "You'll be spoiled rotten soon if this goes on. But who cares. You're the best horse here. Seventeen hands high and only a year old. Next year I'll be able to start training you." The horse stood tall for the first statement seemingly saying, "I know I'm the best" but he snorted at her at the second statement. "You should be excited about it, Firemane Heartfelt. We'll be the best team in the realm in a couple of years."
Linya patted his side and led the horse to the stable. Inside she got out a brush and began to curry him. The horse leaned heavily on the brush sighing in content. Linya laughed at his clowning around. "You're trying to cheer me up," she accused. The horse got an innocent expression on his face. Linya imagined that had he been human he would be saying "Who? Me?" right about now.
Linnorria continued to groom the content horse until he glistened. Then she put the brushes away and led Firemane back outside. "You be good now. No teasing the other horsies," she whispered as she set him loose. He ran around the padlock as Linya turned away. "At least he understands and loves me," she muttered to herself as she turned away. "But he's a horse. Anybody can get a horse to love them by treating it kindly and giving it treats."
'Oh well,' Linya thought. 'I'd best get back to the keep. Mother'll be wanting me soon. And I don't want to keep her waiting.' Linya made a face; she'd rather skip seeing her mother at all. She knew they'd just end up arguing. Linya still wanted to be a knight but her mother insisted that she learn all kinds of stupid things she was absolutely certain she would not need to know.
Lady Melanie met her at the door. "Come on Linnorria," she said. "You need to work on your embroidery this afternoon."
Linya's face twisted. "Mother I plan on starting my training to be a knight in August. Do you really think I'll need to know how to embroider when I'm a knight?! Sewing was bad enough but I might need that someday so I learned. But embroidery?" Linya's mother adverted her eyes and Linnorria was instantly suspicious. "What is it Mother?" she asked trying to keep her voice civil.
"Well Linnorria, you won't be able to start training in August," Lady Melanie hurried on before her daughter protested. "I know you've already had to wait a year. But with the war going on this year we don't have the time or the people to spare to take you to Corus. You know how busy your father is."
Linya's face contorted she knew it was the truth but she had still hoped. Now her fears had been confirmed. Her eyes burned with the effort to hold back tears. "Well, I'm still not learning embroidery!" she told her mother in defiance. "If I can wait for one year I can wait for another. But next year I am going. Whether there is or isn't a war. I won't have you and father trying to keep me safe by coming up with more excuses!" She said the last words as she ran from the room.
She ran until she reached her chambers, then collapsed onto the bed. She let the tears flow, but only for a minute. Then and there she made her resolve. "I'll show them. I'll show everybody. I might be a girl and a freak but I can still be a knight. I know I'm different and I'll be proud of it from now on; not ashamed. I am who I am. And nobody has any right to try and change me. Or curse me because of it. I'll learn as much about myself as possible and learn control. But next year…" she paused, making her voice as firm as possible. "Next year Firemane and I ride for Corus. And knighthood."