Disclaimer: Anything you don't recognize belongs to me. I would just like to clarify something. If you think that the previous chapter- the prologue is too OOC, well, it really did happen in the manga. All references to the past happened in the manga. Hope you enjoy this and please do review.
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Fade Away
Chapter 1
Meroko was alone in the spiritual world, in the little home she had once lived in with Izumi before they had split. Izumi was out on another task, he hadn't mentioned much about it, perhaps in a bid to not remind her about her unfinished task with Mitsuki Kouyama, whose life she was supposed to take away together with her partner Takuto.
Takuto.
Her mind drifted at the thought of his name to an even which happened during some weeks back when he had recovered some memories of his past life.
A solitary figure seated on the lonely shores of the beach with naught for company but the sea. He was in a hapless state, with his head buried in his hands, no doubt lost in the memories he had just recalled since the encounter with Wakaouji.
And being a new Shinigami whose wings had not really developed yet; he would lose his life and disappear into nothingness should he recall his past.
Already, his hand was vanishing…
It was fading…
Fading away…
Into oblivion…
In her ears, sounded the ghostly whisper of something Izumi had said.
In the garden, he had asked Mitsuki, "Do you know why people who committed suicide in an attempt to end their lives become Shinigami?"
He had paused for a moment before continuing, his voice taking on a sad melancholic tone with a hint of bitterness mixed within, "There can only be one answer.
No matter how small or insignificant a thing is that causes your heart to hurt, you will remember. This is punishment!
For even if you can't see or hear… It doesn't matter. Nothing does… You'll just keep facing death…over and over again.
This is an endless cycle, which traps us in a maze… Where we are lost in death forever…
This is our prison."
She felt a cold slippery wetness upon her cheeks, and then on her hands. Unknowingly, she had wept as she thought of all that had happened.
Punishment…
Yes indeed… It was punishment…
One that all Shinigami had to go through, for not cherishing all they had had when they were alive and because of that, they were forced to face death repeatedly, a constant reminder of their foolish mistake.
Even in her latest case – Mitsuki Kouyama. She had been reminded of her reason as to why she had committed suicide.
It was all because of rejection and betrayal.
And it was happening all over again. Once more, she was the one, the one who was to be rejected and tossed aside.
That very day when she and Mitsuki had rushed up just in time to save Takuto from vanishing away forever. She could still remembered all that she had said, how she had persuaded Takuto to not take Mitsuki's life away…
"I am willing to believe in what Mitsuki had said! That the reason behind our becoming of Shinigami is life's way of giving us a chance at redemption instead of punishment… I am willing to believe…
Don't take away her life; don't give in to her request to take her life away! Because… Because if you do that, you'll regret it forever… Sure you won't fade away, but you'll face every day with regrets! It will be exactly like your regretting of taking your own life away now…
And for your sake… I don't want you to live a life filled with regrets!"
"As for now… I shall go back first and await your return after you've decided…"
He had interrupt then, "Meroko…"
Yet as if afraid to hear what he would say, the words had just rushed out of her mouth before she ran off, "I'll be waiting for you! Always…"
Meroko smiled as she recalled that event. It was not a happy smile. Just a small one with traces of acrimony.
Stupid me… At that moment that I had said all that, I, Meroko Yui, knew that a day would come when I would regret my decision to stop you from doing all this…
And that ultimately, I would be the one filled with regrets.
And as the past returns to haunt me, as I hide myself here, evading from all of you, in my heart, I know – this day has arrived.
I regret.
"Why?!" she screamed, her voice echoing in the empty room, sending back the same question as if mocking her. "Why? Is it always me?"
Tears came relentlessly then. She couldn't stop them even if she tried. She was just so tired already, sick of living already. Hadn't that been one of the reasons that had led to her decision to end her life? But no, fate had to mock her by letting her continue her life even after death but as a Shinigami.
And a small whisper, it was all she could manage now, Meroko voiced out her thoughts, "Takuto… You have no idea how fortunate you are… Being able to fade away when memories of your past life return… If… If only… If only, I could be like you… To fade away and leave all this behind…"
Fade away and leave all this behind…
Leave this terrible world, which has made a fool out of me, to tease naïve me with the idea of love and trick me into tasting the sweetness of it…only to reward my loving of him with betrayal and cruel rejection.
How much more can a person take?
First it was Koga… and then Izumi, now it's you, Takuto…
Whoever who decides how things are run, please, I hope that you would listen to all I say…
Give me one more chance at death and let me end my miserable existence…
Please…
Let me fade away…
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A/N: My short fiction about Meroko and her past ends here. Please review and give me your comments… Thanks