Act One Scene One
Enter Juliet
Juliet: (on her balcony) Romeo! My Romeo! Where is my Romeo?
Enter Julius Caesar
Caesar: (in the garden) No, lovely lady in the window, for I am Julius Caesar.
Juliet: Are you a Montague?
Caesar: Should I be?
Juliet: Yes! For I love Montague's! You must be a Montague!
Caesar: Ok! Therefore I shall bear the name Montague.
Juliet: Come into my room! I must sleep with you!
Caesar: No arguments here.
Exit Juliet
Caesar: A beautiful woman wants me in her room! Me, an old
ugly guy. She, all 13 years of her, wants me in her room.
We're goin' to do it. (runs into a trellis) My head! My head!
My beautiful head! (rubs head) Where am I? Who am I? (runs into
trellis again) I am Julius Caesar! The Capitol is my diary and I
am going to rule it one day.
Enter Juliet on the balcony
Juliet: Well, are you coming or not?
Caesar: Oh, right, my lady Dulcinea!
Juliet: Your lady who? My name is Juliet! I am a Capulet
and it is forbidden that I even talk to the Montague's, but I
love them so much. Are you coming or not?
Caesar: Yes! I am coming. How do I get to your room?
Juliet: Climb up that tree and over to my balcony.
Caesar: That sounds like a "Capulet" idea. Hehe.
Juliet: A what?
Caesar: A "Capulet" idea instead of a capitol idea? Or would
it have made more sense if I said a "senate" idea?
Juliet: Uh, no...I think...whatever.
Caesar: I shall climb up that tree into your room so I can
sleep with you. (climbs up the tree)
Caesar: My lady, love, I am here, how do I get there?
Juliet: Hmm...I don't know. My Romeo always just climbed over
I guess.
Caesar: How do you expect I do that? I can't climb over
stuff!
Juliet: Just do it!
Caesar: I, Julius Caesar, shall jump over this gap and on to
my love's balcony. (jump off tree and falls down, blacks out)
Exit Juliet
Enter Juliet
Juliet: (on her balcony) Romeo! My Romeo! Where is my Romeo?
Enter Julius Caesar
Caesar: (in the garden) No, lovely lady in the window, for I am Julius Caesar.
Juliet: Are you a Montague?
Caesar: Should I be?
Juliet: Yes! For I love Montague's! You must be a Montague!
Caesar: Ok! Therefore I shall bear the name Montague.
Juliet: Come into my room! I must sleep with you!
Caesar: No arguments here.
Exit Juliet
Caesar: A beautiful woman wants me in her room! Me, an old
ugly guy. She, all 13 years of her, wants me in her room.
We're goin' to do it. (runs into a trellis) My head! My head!
My beautiful head! (rubs head) Where am I? Who am I? (runs into
trellis again) I am Julius Caesar! The Capitol is my diary and I
am going to rule it one day.
Enter Juliet on the balcony
Juliet: Well, are you coming or not?
Caesar: Oh, right, my lady Dulcinea!
Juliet: Your lady who? My name is Juliet! I am a Capulet
and it is forbidden that I even talk to the Montague's, but I
love them so much. Are you coming or not?
Caesar: Yes! I am coming. How do I get to your room?
Juliet: Climb up that tree and over to my balcony.
Caesar: That sounds like a "Capulet" idea. Hehe.
Juliet: A what?
Caesar: A "Capulet" idea instead of a capitol idea? Or would
it have made more sense if I said a "senate" idea?
Juliet: Uh, no...I think...whatever.
Caesar: I shall climb up that tree into your room so I can
sleep with you. (climbs up the tree)
Caesar: My lady, love, I am here, how do I get there?
Juliet: Hmm...I don't know. My Romeo always just climbed over
I guess.
Caesar: How do you expect I do that? I can't climb over
stuff!
Juliet: Just do it!
Caesar: I, Julius Caesar, shall jump over this gap and on to
my love's balcony. (jump off tree and falls down, blacks out)
Exit Juliet