A/N: Emily: Helloooooo!!!

George: Aren't we updating a bit quick?

Emily: Yes we are because I have had two days off school because of some random illness and from my sick bed I found the sudden urge to type.

George: You were ill?

Emily: You would know if you bothered ringing!

George: *sniffs* Anyhow, thank yous at the bottom. Enjoy chapter fifteen.

Disclaimer: George: Put your serious face on and say. Emily: Do I have to? Can't I say something quirky instead? George: Nooooo. Emily: Fine, We own nothing *grumble, grumble* stupid boring disclaimers!

Chapter fifteen – "I've come over all perfect!"

Legolas sat alone upon the battlements of Helm's Deep staring up at the night's sky.

"There are a lot more stars here than on Earth." Commented Emily as she approached Legolas slowly.

Legolas said nothing as she sat beside him. They sat there in silence for a few minutes while Emily thought of something to say, which surprisingly wasn't that hard for once.

"I'm sorry for hitting you."

Legolas turned his head towards her. "It is I that should be apologizing Lady Emily. I was rude and should never have doubted your skill in battle. You did well." He smiled at this last statement.

"Yeah I did didn't I?!" Emily felt rather proud but realizing that Legolas still looked very upset she changed the subject.

"Aragorn will come back you know." As soon as Emily had said this she smacked herself on the head. "Whoops not meant to tell you what happens!"

"Aragorn comes back! It cannot be." Legolas shook his head. "I cannot believe you, it is my fault he fell."

"No it's not Gimli trod on your foot, granted you overreacted but anyone would have done the same." Emily reconciled.

"If only that stone didn't hit him." Legolas sighed.

"What stone?!"

"Someone threw a stone at Gimli. That's what started everything off."

"Stupid stone!" Mumbled Emily.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Urm…maybe they weren't aiming at Gimli, it might have hit him by accident."

"What kind of idiot just throws a stone carelessly?"

"Yeah your right, what an idiot!" Gulped Emily. "Anyhow do not fret, Aragorn and Gimli will return I'm sure of it."

"What about Liz?"

"Oh yeah, her to."

"Are you sure Lady Emily?"

"Do you trust me?" Emily felt very smart at this point but then realized that Legolas could in fact say no.

"Of course I do."

Emily let out a sigh of relief.

"Emily?"

"Yes Legolas."

"Can I tell you something?"

"You can tell me anything Legsie!"

"Please don't call me that."

"Sorry."

Suddenly the setting became all romantic, just like when the lead male in a Hollywood romance is about to say those three fateful words, but that wouldn't happen in this fic. Would it?

"Emily, I Love you." Whispered the elf.

Emily's eyebrows hit her hairline.

"Would you excuse me Legolas, for just one second?" Emily got up as fast as possible and scurried off in search of George.

****

"Damn I'm down to my last batch of TNT! Where's Galadriel when you need…" Emily came crashing into the room.

"Look at me!" She screeched.

"Do I have to?" Sniggered George.

"This is no time for games!"

"Fine, fine, what's the prob?" George turned around to face his sister.

"Do I look different to you?"

"Slightly redder than usual but other than that no. Explain why this is the topic of conversation."

"Tell me how many ludicrous things I have said this evening."

"Well about…urm…actually none come to think of it. That's strange." Pondered George.

"Now tell me how well I fought against the Wargs."

"Except for the one that fell on you. You were pretty good at the whole warrior princess thing!"

"Now explain to me why the Prince of Mirkwood has just confessed his undying love for me!"

"No way!"

"Yes way!"

"No wa…"

"George focus!" Screamed Emily.

"Well I don't like to say it but…"

"Then don't say it please."

"I'm afraid I'm going to have to diagnose you with a serious case of the Mary-Sue."

"Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!" Emily's rage could be heard throughout the Deep.

"Well well well who would of thought it? My sister the Mary-Sue." George was finding this way too funny.

"I can't be a Mary-Sue! I just can't." Emily begged.

"What's 3445/23?"

"149.78260869565217391304347826087 but what's that got to do with anything?"

George raised an eyebrow.

"Oh my god I'm a Mary-Sue! I…what…the readers they'll desert us…you'll desert me…what do I do?"

"Look for every illness there is a cure. We just have to find it."

"A cure for Mary-Sues! I'm fucked."

"Stop swearing, yeesh Mary-Sues always think it's cool to swear."

"My life is over! It is the end of Emily as we know it."

"Hey, come on it's not that bad! I mean Legolas loves ya man!"

"Yeah cos I've suddenly come over all perfect!" Sulked Emily.

"Cheer up it could be worse."

"How could it possibly be worse? I will be ridiculed by fandom! As for Legolas I would much rather he loved me for my wacky mannerisms and my some semblance of an insane personality."

"Look I'll find a cure it can't be that hard."

"No this is it. Goodbye cruel world, it's been nice knowing you George." With this Emily skulked off.

George ran to the small hall where Boromir, Theoden and Legolas were gathered.

"Urm guys we have a problem." Gasped George.

"Where is Lady Emily, did I do something wrong?" Asked Legolas.

"Last I saw she was just about to throw herself off the battlements."

"Oh right…hang on…WHAT!" Shouted Legolas.

"Oh yeah I see your point." Grinned George as Boromir grabbed his arm and dragged him off after the speeding elf.

On the battlements…

"Goodbye sky, goodbye birds, goodbye little crickets that scare when you jump out of your bushes, goodbye sweet sweet rum my only true friend." Emily paused and sighed. "There were so many things I never got to do. See Troy and Pirates of the Caribbean two, drink my own brand of vodka, smoke the finest Hobbit weed…oh no wait I did that. Most of all I never got to kiss Lego…"

"Emily!" Cried Legolas.

"Excuse me you are interrupting a perfectly good monologue!"

"Please don't do this."

"Em get down this instant!" Yelled George.

"Leave me alone!"

"Em how long is this gonna take coz it's pissing it down here and I'm freezing my butt off!" 'Sympathized' George.

"Emily please get down it is not safe up there." Said Legolas the distress clear on his face.

"Well duh!"

"All this because you've become a Mary-Sue! Yeesh!" Laughed George.

"A Mary what?" Asked a bemused Boromir.

"A Mary-Sue is a girl who's practically perfect and is destined to have Legolas fall in love with her."

"Excuse me?!" Yelped Legolas.

"People can we focus here! The point is that my life is not worth living!" Hollered Emily.

"There's bound to be a cure. Gives us some time and we'll find it." Reasoned Boromir.

"I've got it!" Called Legolas.

"Got what?" Said George, Emily and Boromir in unison.

"The cure!"

"Really?" Said a shocked George.

"Yes."

"Well come on the suspense is killing Emily!" Barked George.

"We need to convince her she's not perfect." Replied Legolas.

"Oh well I can do that!" Began George, "Em your likeness to a baboon's arse is uncanny, you rival Aragorn in odor control and Gimli could give you some hints on beard management."

"George if you don't shut up when I've finished committing suicide I will pound your arse and feed it to schizophrenic orangutans!" Cried Emily.

"Hey you said something stupid. Legolas, I think it's working!" Snickered Boromir.

"It's not working! If I'm not perfect then why did Legolas say he loved me?!"

"Dude! Whoa that's some heavy emotion man!" Drawled Boromir.

"I love you because you're annoying! You say stupid things and do not care what people think of you. You are intelligent if somewhat insane and you are like no other person I've ever met!" Cried Legolas.

"I'm annoying?" Asked a sniffling Emily.

"Extremely!" Answered the elf.

"Do you mean that?"

"With all my heart. Please come down."

Finally relenting Emily lowered herself off the battlements and into the arms of Legolas.

"Uh Uh No way, no dating until you is forty." George practically ripped Emily out Legolas' arms.

"George! Oh come on this is…you are crazy!" Yelled Emily as George dragged her off.

"So you and Em huh?" Questioned Boromir.

Legolas just smiled and walked after the two roaring siblings.

****

A/N: Emily: Sorry this chapter was bit random and short but tis all in the name of humor!

George: Thank you to Tidus'luv99 – Doctor: We need sugar now! Nurse: It is more serious than we thought! Doctor: This calls for Humbugs and some disgusting sugary drink pretending to be kind to teeth!

Sorry got carried away. Hope this chapter cheered you up. Oh and speaking of Physiatrists, how did your appointment go Em?

Emily: Fine thank you! Pretendingtobesane you are soooooo lucky I would die to go to California! Believe me Canterbury England tends to be a bit dull at times! Although the ever so wonderful Orlando Bloom did hail from here! Thank you for reviewing.

George: Thank you to harukafan80- Ooooh long word – Procrastinating – I must pet it! Well I finished me bit early for you!

Emily: The next chapter is already written, however slight glitch in getting, 'Home or Tictacs' posted as our parentage has decided to ban from the computer for a few days! Totally unreasonable! It's not as if I spent all night reading Legolas fanfiction and fell asleep on the keyboard on a school night.

George: You're an idiot! And I bet it was smutty as well!

Emily: No comment.