A/N: George: Happy Easter to everyone! This is the concluding part of Helm's Deep up for your enjoyment super quick!

Emily: Here's where you find out what fate befalls poor old Haldir! Please don't kill us!

Disclaimer: I wish we were making money out of this but unfortunately we are not. Damn!

Chapter eighteen – Saving the one you love.

""Faeg I-varv dîn na lanc a nu ranc!" Said Legolas as he aimed his first arrow.

"Leithio I philinn!" Shouted Aragorn as he raised his arm.

"Did they hit anything?" Asked Gimli.

"They're bloody elves! Of course they hit something!" Yelled George.

Uruk after Uruk fell from the barrage of arrows, but they just seemed to go on forever.

"Send them to me, come on!" Roared Gimli above the frenzied battle cries.

"Pendraid!" Cried Aragorn.

"Good!" Cheered Gimli.

"How do you know he meant ladders, you don't speak Elvish?!" Asked George, but really didn't need the dwarf answer when he saw him tucking an Elvish phrase book back under his armor.

A sea of ladders rose before the wall; this was answered by the elves pulling out their swords and Yoshie licking his lips.

The first Uruk arrived on the wall, George charged forward sword in hand. Boromir, Legolas, Gimli and Aragorn all froze momentarily to see the outcome of this charge. Before George could swing his sword a bright pink tongue curled out of Yoshie's mouth and wrapped around the Uruk's waist. Then it was gone with an immense gulp!

"Cool dragon!" Muttered Boromir before his attention was drawn to the danger before him.

"Legolas, two already!" Cried Gimli with great pride.

"I'm on seventeen." Laughed Legolas as he continued to slaughter Uruk-Hai with his bow.

"I'll have no pointy-ear out scoring me!" Gimli bellowed.

"Nineteen!" Called the smug elf.

The battle raged on, Gimli and Legolas continued their scoring, Aragorn and Boromir held back the swarms that augmented the ladders. A sea of shields ascended the ramp to the gate concealing a potent battering ram.

****

"If I bump into one more stalagmite I will scream!" Yelled Emily to herself. "Who's idea was this?!"

*Yours I believe* Sniggered Emily's brain.

"Oh no, not you again, why don't you just bog off? Can't you see I am a bit busy."

*Busy doing what?*

"I am trying to get to the battle as there is a dwarf there that is in need of a thump!"

*You do realize that this is the wrong way don't you?*

"Get lost!"

*Well, I am seeing as I am stuck in your head and you are leading the afore said head the wrong way!*

"Bugger off!"

*Language! I'm just tying to help!*

"I am sick of your help! The last time you tried to help I ended up with a pink haired elf!"

*Minor detail.*

"Urgh!"

****

"Is this it? Is this all you can conjure, Saruman?" Smirked Theoden.

"Please tell me you did not just say that!" Yelped George as he fell off Yoshie.

Yoshie then started to do that flashy thing and ran off wildly.

"Don't tempt fate dude! Oh great! I just lost my steed!"

As George went to chase after Yoshie a tremendous bang was heard. The ground trembled and rock and stone shattered like glass.

****

"I see light! Yay!" Cheered Emily.

"Klllllllaaaaaaaaaabbbbbbbbbllllllllllloooooooooooowwwwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeee!"

"Bollocks! The wall's been breached!"

Emily dragged her arse out of the small opening and surveyed the land before her.

"Don't say it."

*We seem to…*

"I said don't say it!"

*…*

"Fine you can say it!" Emily sighed.

*We seem to be on the side of the Uruk Hai! *

"Well I'm glad you find this terribly funny. Now to think of a way to get from here to there." Emily pointed over to the breach in the wall as Gimli flew off the battlements to Aragorn's aid.

Emily looked down to find a trampled Uruk-Hai before her feet.

"Excellent!"

"Excuse me, coming through here" Emily ran through the crowd of blood lusting Uruk-Hai, which was easier said than done considering the newly acquired armor/disguise she was wearing. "Move ya arses! Uruk on a mission."

Emily reached the Deeping wall just in time to see her darling Legolas become Skater elf extraordinaire.

"Go Legolas!" She cooed. Unfortunately, it seemed as if Legolas was coming straight towards her, and taking into account her current attire this was not the best place to be.

"Oh crap!" Emily ducked as the shield he was sliding on flew out from beneath his feet and cut into the unsuspecting Uruk behind her. Legolas who was still moving forward with unstoppable momentum tripped on Emily's foot and landed on top of her. Legolas raised his knife and began to bring it down…

"Ooooh! That looked like fun!" Exclaimed George upon seeing Legolas' recent trick. "My turn!" George went in search of a shield.

"Eeekk!" Cried Emily.

"Emily?" Legolas asked with much astonishment.

"Hiya hunny, now as much as I do not object to our current position do you really think this is the appropriate time?!" Chuckled Emily.

"How did you…"

"Not now huh? Big black scary thing heading this way!"

Legolas raised his knife just in time to deflect an oncoming scimitar blow.

"Aragorn! Get your men out of there!" Theoden's voice could be heard from above.

"Come on!" Cried Legolas as he grabbed Emily and put her over his shoulder.

"Hey! I can walk you know! Now, where's that bloody dwarf?"

"Nan barad! Haldir! Nan barad!" Aragorn cried to Haldir who was fighting valiantly on the wall.

Legolas carried on running; all he could think about was getting Emily to safety. He reached the foot of the stairs but stopped when he saw George mounting a shield at the top of them.

"What are you doing?!" Cried the Elf.

"You don't get to have all the glory." With this George began his decent down the stairs. Legolas didn't want to watch, so ran to the other stairs and climbed them all the while still holding back the clawing Uruk-Hai.

"Yippee!" Yelled George. He was nearly at the bottom when he sudden realized the shield had no brakes. "Naff it!!!!!!!"

George landed solidly with a thump.

"What were you thinking?" Said a Rohan man that offered George a hand up.

"Didn't really think that one through."

"I'm Atrayu." Said the man.

"Please to meet you…" Before George could shake his hand Atrayu was struck with a black arrow.

"Atrayu Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Yelped George.

A/N: The whole Atrayu thing is a private joke between some of our friends. However, if you have seen 'The Never Ending Story' you might have an inkling of what we are going on about.

"Master George come!" Called Gimli as Aragorn dragged him off.

Haldir ordered his Elves to retreat, taking his eyes off the Uruk approaching him. The Uruk swung his sword slicing Haldir's arm. Haldir didn't give up easily and took out the Uruk swiftly. The wound seeped crimson liquid that stained his armor along with all the black blood that had dried to form a crust. As if in slow motion an Uruk-Hai with his sword held high approached Haldir from behind. The sword began to cut through the air towards Haldir's head.

(Drum roll…)

There was a crash of steel as Boromir's sword deflected the Uruk's, Boromir stabbed viciously at the beast and cleanly relieved it of its head.

"Boromir!" Gasped Haldir.

"Are you Ok?" Asked a panicked Boromir as he saw all the blood trickling out of the wound in Haldir's arm.

"I am fine, you saved me, how can I ever repay you?"

"I would do anything for you Haldir." Wept Boromir.

"You mean that?"

"Of course I do, ever since I met you in Lothlorien I vowed to do anything for you!"

"Oh Boromir! You have stolen my heart. If we survive this come away with me to Lothlorien where I will treat you like a King!" Declared Haldir.

"Oh Haldir!" Gushed Boromir as he lifted the elf in his arms and took him to safety.

A/N: Bet you weren't expecting that one!

****

"To the gate, draw your swords." Demanded King Theoden to his guards.

Uruks were all ready pushing themselves through the hole in the gate.

"Hold them!" Cried Theoden as Aragorn, Gimli and George entered the tussle.

"If you say so?!" Said a confused George who proceeded to hug an also very confused Uruk-Hai.

"I meant stop them getting in!" Cried Theoden.

"Oh right." Said George, releasing the Uruk and turning slightly red.

"How long do you need?" Asked Aragorn.

"As long as you can give me." Stated the King.

"That's lovely and cryptic!" Mumbled George.

The three of them observed the Uruk-Hai at the gate pounding away.

"Oh come on we can take them!" Said Gimli enthusiastically.

"Yeah maybe with a arsenal of TNT!" Yelped George.

"It's a long way." Said Aragorn.

After some great hesitation the dwarf finally said, "Toss me."

Aragorn looked at him questionably and George shoved his fist into his mouth to absorb the laughter brewing there.

"Are you sure you wouldn't want to rephrase that?" Spluttered George finally giving in to the temptation to laugh.

"I cannot jump the distance you'll have to toss me!" Gimli grunted with much annoyance.

Just as Aragorn prepared to throw Gimli over the large gap to the ramp he blurted, "Don't tell the elf!"

"Not a word." Said Aragorn honestly before chucking him.

"Well, he didn't tell me not to let my future brother in-law know!" Laughed George. "Kamikaze!"

There was now just Aragorn left to join the two and with a roar and a leap the three of them were holding back the Uruk-Hai.

"Back you mofo!" Bellowed George.

Meanwhile on the wall…

"Put me down!" Whimpered Emily as Legolas continued to carry her through the crowds of fighting men and Uruks.

Great hook were shot at the wall and clung on as if for dear life as grand ladders were pulled up with at least fifty Uruks clinging on to them.

Legolas finally relented and put Emily upon her feet.

"Listen to me, whatever you do stay right beside me. I will not let anything hurt you."

"Just give us one of your knives and I'll be just fine and dandy!" Emily smiled.

The first signs of nostril flaring had begun…

As quick as George can insult Gimli, Legolas had notched an arrow and took out the strand of rope holding one of the ladder with such perfection that only he could manage.

"I wish I had some pom-poms!" Gushed Emily. "Hey, isn't that Aragorn and Gimli down there? And George! That boy is going to get himself killed. Legolas help them!"

"Quickly." Legolas grabbed Emily's hand and a long piece of rope.

+

****

Theoden could be heard within behind the gate shouting orders. As the last plank of wood was set to be positioned Theoden poked is head out and said,

"Gimli! Aragorn! Boy! Get out of there!"

"And how do you propose we do that?" Grunted George amid delivering a fatal blow to the crotch of a poor unfortunate Uruk. "Yikes, that's enough to make your balls crawl up and hibernate!"

"Aragorn!" Legolas could be heard shouting from the wall above as he threw down the rope.

Aragorn grabbed Gimli and held on tight to the rope.

"Hey! Wait for me!" Cried George as he grabbed Aragorn's rising foot.

"I'll help you Legolas." Said Emily poignantly to the surrounding Rohirrim who were doing nothing. "Ouch, rope burns!"

"Pull everybody back." Ordered Theoden.

"Fall back! Fall back!"

Orders and shout of "Retreat" were echoed across the walls as the remainders of the Fellowship barricaded themselves into the fortress.

"Em! You're OK!" George shouted as he embraced his sister.

"I like your moves." Emily replied.

"I like your style!"

"The fortress is taken. It is over." Sighed Theoden in defeat interrupting George and Emily's reunion. 

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it. They still defend, they have died defending it!" Yelled Aragorn.

"That dude doesn't give up." Remarked George.

Aragorn continued to debate with the King while Legolas was left to ransack the place for things to use as a barricade.

"He would make a good rock star." Admired Emily.

"Hey, maybe he could join our band! I can see it now, 'Fear of a Fruit Bat headlining

The Hammersmith Apollo featuring the one and only Legolas Greenleaf.'" George sighed imagining his name in lights.

"Ride out with me." Aragorn's voice cut through all the commotion. "Ride out and meet them."

"For death and glory."

"No for cheetos." Announced George excitedly.

"And again with the weird." Mocked Emily shaking her head.

"For Rohan." Stated Aragorn as the sun crept in the windows.

"The sun is rising." Said Gimli.

"Hey Legolas, Gimli is trying to steal the Mr. Obvious title!"

"Shut-up George." Answered Legolas much to everyone's surprise.

"You're a bad influence on that elf Emily." Moaned George as he sat down on a discarded helmet.

"Look to my coming at first light on the fifth day. At dawn look to the east." Gandalf's voice echoed through the room.

"I want my mummy." Shrieked Emily.

"Yes. Yes. The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the Deep once more."

"Yes Gimli, run along and blow the King's horn!" Laughed Emily and George.

*grunt* sounded from Gimli.

"Emily, George you have done enough in this battle, stay here take care of the wounded." Implored Legolas.

"What do you think Em? Do think we a have done enough?"

"Well we could just go and make snide comments to Gimli about his blowing activities." Smirked Emily.

"And how he likes to be tossed by Aragorn." Sniggered George.

"What?!" Asked Legolas with a grin on his face.

"We'll stay here Legolas don't you worry." Said George. "Oh and speaking of all this camp you haven't seen Boromir and Haldir around have you?"

Legolas raised one delicate eyebrow and said, "Last I saw they were playing doctors and nurses in the caves."

"Well Em we survive Helms Deep! Gandalf can clear up the rabble out there."

"It does seem quite a good place to end the fun doesn't it?"

The siblings began to make their way up the stairs to where Gimli was, their minds brimming with insults.

"Is this the end of the adventure?" Asked Emily getting slightly teary.

"Hey come here." Sighed George as he wrapped his arms around his little sister.

Everything was getting slightly sentimental until a rabid flashing Yoshie zoomed past at top speed.  "Are you ready to go home?"

 ****

A/N: George: Ooooh is it the end?

Emily: Will the next chapter be an Epilogue?

George: Course it bloody won't. We've still got plenty of things up our sleeves.

Emily: Look forward to reading what you think of this chapter because surprisingly this was the hardest to write. Oh and hello to the fair wenches of Fear of a Fruit Bat, Lauren 'Queen of Smut' our drummer and the delectable Becca our Bassist!

George: I wouldn't know how hard it was to write because I kind of didn't write anything for this one, although some of the more fabulous ideas were mine!

Emily: Like that blimming Yoshie!

Thank you to all our positively stunning reviewers:

Pretendingtobesane- Good idea about Liz and the pervy kid! Interesting is a very good way of describing this fic.

Shadowz- Yes that was jenked from Buffy. You know me way too well. No Badgers for you ( I forgot to put them in)! Instead you get Legolas the rock star!

Gurliegurl – New reviewer! Yay! Glad you like. Please come back for more!

Join us next time for "The final countdown"