A/N: Emily here, George has gone missing! No I really have no idea where he is. Haven't seen him for hours now. Oh well all is good because we have 68 reviews!!!!!!!!!!!! I was soooooooo surprised with the response to the last chapter. Thank you!

Disclaimer: It wasn't me it was George that stole everything. Go sue him.

Chapter Twenty – Goodbye to ye olde friends. Hello to ye olde English.

"'tis a shame that you are leaving fair wench." Exclaimed George.

"What did you say?" Asked a bemused Haldir.

"And my dear olde comrade Boromir, twas a honor to be your friend."

"Huh?"

"Let me explain, George has decided that this fanfic needs some class added to it, Hence the old English." Said Emily.

"Well can you tell him to stop, I can't understand a word he is saying." Asked Boromir.

"George?"

"Yes my fair wench."

"Shuteth Upeth! "

"Ok."

"Thank you. Come here Boz give us a hug."

"Are you certain you want to leave?" Inquired George in a final attempt to get Boromir to stay.

"I have thought this through a lot. I am sick of war; it nearly cost me the love of my life. I am going to stay with Haldir in Lothlorien. I hope you can understand."

"Of course Boromir. Hey if I had the chance to get out of here and snuggle with my honey I would." Smiled Emily.

"Same here. Good hunting Boromir! If we get through his we'll drop in on you some time."

"I will very much appreciate it."

"Have you said goodbye to everyone else?" Asked George.

"Yes. Legolas and Gimli were very understanding. Oh and Aragorn even felt compelled to hug me, which would have been a nice gesture if it wasn't for the strange combination of blue cheese, wet dogs and broad beans that have gone off, irradiating from him!"

Emily and George hugged their sarcy companion one more time and with this Haldir and Boromir left the plot.

"I'll miss him." Sighed Emily. "Are you crying?!"

"No! I don't cry I have hobbies!" Answered George sharply running of into the hall.

"I need comforting. Where's my elf?"

Emily found her elf outside the great hall looking in the direction of Mordor with his hood drawn up.

"Forget to wash your hair or something?" Asked Emily.

Legolas just smiled at this. "Are you alright? You look upset."

"Boromir and Haldir have just left for Lòrien."

"Yes I saw them leave. Are you not happy for them?"

"Of course I am but Boz was great for comic relief."

"You mean I'm not funny enough for you?" Asked Legolas with a pout.

"Well frankly you are hardly a laugh a minute Master elf."

Legolas smiled. "Let us take your mind off of Boromir's departure. Tell me something about your home."

"What do you want to know?"

"Anything."

"Well some dude in some company decided that it would be a great idea to make alphabet shaped spaghetti."

"Excuse me?" Legolas frowned in confusion.

"You said anything! Anyway, they make these letters of spaghetti, then dip them into watered down ketchup, then proceed to put them into mini tin with cartoons on them so children will beg their mummies to buy them."

"What is spaghetti?"

"Uncultured swine." Mumbled Emily.

"There you are." Sighed Aragorn as he approached the two. "What are you doing?"

"Enforcing some culture upon this idiot." Smiled Emily.

"If that was said by Legolas about you that sentence would have made a lot more sense!" Laughed Aragorn.

"If you were not my friend I would have to hit you for belittling my lady." Said Legolas suddenly becoming very serious.

Emily proceeded to swoon and fall over.

"Now look what you did!" Cried Aragorn.

"The stars are veiled." Said Legolas as he picked up Emily.

"Ouch that hurt!" Moaned Emily as she rubbed her rump.

"Would you like me to assist?" Asked Legolas with a smirk.

"Not while I'm here." Coughed Aragorn.

"Something stirs in the East…" Continued Legolas.

"That could just be the curry George had earlier."

"A sleepless malice. The eye of the enemy is moving." Legolas ignored Emily's comment.

"I really should be stopping Pippin right now but I just can't seem to leave you." Beamed Emily as she stared up at her elf.

"Stop Pippin doing what?" Asked a wary Aragorn.

"Oh he going to pilfer that shiny thing that George wanted." Said Emily flippantly.

"What!" Cried Aragorn.

"He is here!" Cried Legolas.

Aragorn, Legolas and Emily all stormed off to where the hobbit should have been sleeping.

"Help him! Someone help him!" Merry's cries could be heard from afar causing George to rush to the scene as well. He ran into the room to find Aragorn struggling to hold the Palantir. Finally he lost his grip and the Palantir rolled across the room. Gandalf picked up a cloth and threw over the sphere. George seizing the opportunity picked it up.

"Jenkie jenkie." He whispered to himself.

"Look at me." Said Gandalf as he leaned over the warped out Pippin.

Emily lost interest in the conversation as she watched a rather pregnant George vacating the room.

"Look at me. What did you see?" Probed Gandalf.

"…A tree… There was a white tree…in a courtyard of stone… It was dead." Answered the hobbit.

"The courtyard or the tree?" Asked a confused Emily.

Legolas looked at her lovingly with a slight smirk.

"Hey don't patronize me you fuck." She snapped with a pout.

"Minas Tirith? Is that what you saw?" Continued the Wizard.

"I saw…I saw him! I could hear His voice in my head!" Sniveled Pippin.

"Galadriel's a man!!!!!!" Yelped George poking his head around the doorframe with furrowed eyebrows.

Emily shot him a look.

"What did you tell him about Frodo and the Ring?!" Asked Gandalf with urgency lacing his voice. 

****

"We have been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the Palantir, which may I add has disappeared, a glimpse of the enemy's plan." Stated Gandalf with mild annoyance. "Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith. His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing: He knows the heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as He supposed; there is courage still. Strength enough perhaps to challenge Him. Sauron fears this."

"Well Aragorn's stench would frighten anyone." Sniggered George.

"He will not risk the peoples of Middle-Earth uniting under one banner."

"Banners! Right we will need sequins, felt-tips, material and fabric paint." Squealed a very excited and creative Emily.

"Not that kind of Banner you moron!" Snapped George.

"Can I make one anyway? With 'Go Legolas' written on it with glitter pens!"

"If it will get rid of you for an hour then yes you may." Barked Gandalf.

Emily scuttled off in search of all things shiny.

"…Rohan must be ready for war." Finished Gandalf.

"I love the smell of Napalm in the morning!" Cheered George.

The wizard walked over to Aragorn and mumbled something about Black Ships, which went straight over George's head who was laughing at Emily who came in with a felt-tip glued to her head.

"Stupid super glue!" She grumbled.

"I ride for Minas Tirith." Stated Gandalf.

"Yay he is leaving!" Cheered Emily until she shriveled under Gandalf's haunting gaze.

"…And I won't be going alone."

Everyone on the room gulped and held their breath until they were sure that he wasn't going to drag them along.

"Come on Em lets see what we can do about that pen on your head." Smirked George as he dragged his sister outside.

****

"Is it working?" Reluctantly asked Emily.

"Define the word working!" Grinned George. "Were you particularly fond of the skin on your forehead?"

"George!"

"Just kidding! Hang on just one more…there we go all done."

Emily began to rub her head just to be sure.

"George I've been thinking."

"Did it hurt?"

"So not funny! I'm being serious, which is a big event for me."

"So what's the deal then?" Asked George sitting down ready to listen.

"Well we have two options: One we stay here, fight at Pelenor and die, or two we bugger off to find Frodo and Sam, run like the wind when Mount Doom blows it top, and then get airlifted to safety by fluffy eagles."

"One problem. I would much rather face thousands of Orcs than one rather frightening, big arsed, fucking ARACHNID!"

"You don't like spiders much, do you?" Laughed Emily.

"No not much!"

"Well with TNT you will not have to face a rather frightening, big arsed, fucking arachnid. Instead you will have to face the itty bity remains of the afore said arachnid."

"So Einstein how do we get to Frodo and Sam without spending the rest of this fic stuck up a mountain!"

"That's where you come in." Replied Emily.

"Explain."

"I was hoping you could come up with a solution. I'm all thought out."

"Fine, we will need something stealthy…"

"Yeah!"

"Something fast…"

"Uber fast!"

"Something wicked…"

"Mad for it!"

"We need…we need help!" Finished George.

"We need the Guru." Stated Emily.

"Somehow I do not think the Guru extends to Middle-Earth."

"Oh but you are wrong my dear brother the Guru is everywhere. In fact he is up that mountain." Said Emily motioning to the mountains behind Edoras.

****

"What are you doing?" Asked Aragorn as he and Legolas walked into George's room to find him and Emily packing.

"We are on a quest." Announced George.

Legolas raised an eyebrow. "What kind of quest?"

"We are in search of the Guru." Answered Emily.

"The what?" Said a bemused Aragorn.

"The Guru is going to help us."

"Help you with what?"

"Help us find Fro…" Emily slapping her hand over George's mouth cut George off.

"Help us find frogs!" Finished Emily quickly.

"Frogs? Why?"

"Why not?" Replied Emily.

"Well I shall come with you then." Said Legolas.

"No!"

"Why not? I am not letting you out of my sight. It is too dangerous."

"George will look after me and besides the frogs won't like you." Emily began the babble fest.

"The frogs won't like me?" Replied an incredulous Legolas.

"Did you know frogs cannot swallow without blinking?" Asked Emily hoping to change the topic.

"Look we won't be gone long. We will be back before you will even miss us." Smiled George.

"Damn!" Muttered Aragorn.

"Don't worry Leggsie. I'll get her back to you on one piece." Ensured George.

"Alright, but promise you will be careful."

"We promise."

"And you will not do anything stupid."

"That we can't promise, you know what we are like!" Emily and George smiled and left ready to start their quest for the Guru.

"They are up to something." Stated Aragorn.

"Yes well I hope whatever it is they know what they are doing."

"When have they ever known what they were doing?!" Laughed Aragorn.

"You forget that they know how all this ends. They may have a very good reason for this quest they are going on."

"Legolas, has Emily ever let slip anything of what is to happen?" Asked Aragorn.

"Only once. She told me that you would return after you fell from that cliff."

"I bet she was pleased about that!" smirked Aragorn. "I get the distinct feeling she doesn't like me."

"That is because she doesn't," Said Legolas with a smile. The elf left Aragorn with a frown upon his face.

****

A/N: Emily: Yes Boromir is gone! How could we? Well we needed a some reason for Denethor to go crazy. We thought his fave son running off with an elf to Lothlorien might do the trick! The next chapter kind of leads us off on a tangent but that is kind of what we are renowned for! Now for the thank you to are rampaging reviewers:

Aniviel-Eledhwen – I looked at your profile and from your email address I got the idea that your middle name is Elizabeth. Is it? That would be weird as you said I kinda remind you of yourself and my middle name is Elizabeth.

Ladyof Rivendell – Glad you like!

Tidus'luvr99 – Thank you for the song I now have it stuck in my head because George felt the need to learn the words!

Snow crystals – Yep getting fresh means what you think it means! As for Legolas and I getting fresh, you will have to wait till the end!

ElfAngel5687 – Interesting is definitely a word to describe this!

Shadowz – I hope you haven't been stalking poor Lauri! Oh dear Boz has left just as you were starting to like him. Maybe I can bring him back for a cameo! When we are back at school I could serenade you with a rendition of the now infamous Sperm song.

Voyd – Thailand eh? Thank you for all the cookies.

Pretendingtobesane – Glad you liked the song. Not everyone did!

LeaRobins Leana Scarlette – More hilarity and Legolas for you!

Snowfire the Kitsune – More Mischief! Sorry you didn't like the song, hope this chapter got you into a better mood!