A/N: Emily: Me again! George is in Sheffield so I am alone again. George's story will not be featured in this chapter as his punishment. However, he will be back next chapter as we discover what it feels like for a guy to ride a little green dragon!

I saw The Calcium Kid on Saturday at Leicester Square! It was wicked. Everyone I know thinks I am crazy for saying this but I don't care: It is funnier than Pirates!!!!

I have given up Rum in favor for milk!!! Yay! A much healthier alternative! Orlando Bloom makes the cutest Milkman in the world and as for him boxing – Yum. Bash. Yum!

All must go see!!!!!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except a fat lip, which I got from tripping over my hairdryer when bouncing around my room in a bout of Calcium Kid excitement!

Chapter Twenty-Four – Seeing Double

"Legolas this is Orlando." Emily pointed at the glaring human. "Orlando this is Legolas." Emily pointed to the glaring elf.

"Unhand her!" Roared Legolas.

"And give her to you?! The one who left her!" Snapped Orlando.

"Please don't fight." Said Emily meekly as the two continued arguing.

"How dare you?" Questioned Legolas. "You know nothing!"

"I know that you left her alone. She was so frightened that she called a complete stranger to her aid." Countered Orlando.

"I would never leave her intentionally!"

"Intentionally or not you still are not fit to take care of her!"

"Well if she had followed like she was supposed to she would have never got lost!"

"Now you are blaming her for your own insolence!"

"Hey this reminds me of I dream I had except you both were throwing my pink Converse trainers." Mused Emily to herself.

"How dare you call an elf insolent!" Cried Legolas.

Legolas pulled out his remaining knife and Orlando picked up the other knife that was lying on the floor.

"BOB SIMPSON IS A LESBIAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Shouted Emily.

Orlando and Legolas looked at her in confusion.

"What? It got your attention! Hey Orli you found Legolas' knife!"

"Emily, I am sorry I upset you but was there really a need for you to turn to someone else for comfort?" Pleaded Legolas.

"Well considering I was lost and all alone, YES there was a need for someone brave to comfort me!"

"You call this human brave?!" Smirked Legolas.

"You can talk with your gay hair!" Snarled Orlando.

"LEMONS CAN TAKE OVER THE WORLD!" Shouted Emily.

"Is that really necessary? You could just shout stop." Asked Orlando.

"Incase you haven't realized in amongst your masculine shots, you two are the same person, so every time you insult each other you are actually insulting yourselves! Now why don't we all grow up, well maybe we should exclude me from that, why don't you two grow up and apologize?"

"Sorry." Mumbled Legolas.

"Sorry." Murmured Orlando.

"There all is good." Sighed Emily.

"You're going to leave me aren't you?" Sulked Legolas. "You're going to go back to earth with him!"

"No I'm not you silly elf. I love you remember, even if you are stubborn and haven't just starred in the funniest British comedy I have ever seen!"

"You guys are in love?" Asked Orlando.

"Yep!" Grinned Emily. "I take it you would like to go back home now then Orli."

"Well I have seen you to the safety of…well…the elf. My duty here is done."

Legolas and Orlando looked at Emily waiting for her to conjure up a fridge or something. An evil grin spread over Emily's face.

"Hey Orli, you wouldn't want to stick around for awhile?" Asked Emily slyly.

"What are you planning?" Asked Legolas.

"Why?" Inquired Orlando.

"Well two reasons really. One: I don't think I could fit a fridge in this passage so you might have to wait till we get outside."

"The second reason?" Asked Orlando with some apprehension as he saw Legolas grin with realization of what Emily was planning.

"You know you really did look very cute in 'The Lord Of The Rings' films." Laughed Emily holding up a blonde wig. "I think Aragorn and co are in need of a surprise!"

****

"Any luck?" Asked Aragorn as Elladan and Elrohir came back after half an hour of searching.

They shook their heads sadly. Gimli grunted and sat on a rock in dismay.

"Surprisingly I actually miss the lass."

Aragorn rolled his eyes.

"Hey Aragorn! Did you miss me?!" Cried Emily as she bounced into sight.

"Where have you been?!" Bellowed Aragorn.

"I found something."

"What do you mean you have found something?! You are the one who was supposed to be found!"

"May I introduce you to Legolas Prince of Mirkwood." Announced Emily as Legolas stepped into the light.

"I know who he is you moron, I have known him longer than you!" Sighed the impatient man.

"And now for one night only I introduce Legolas Prince of Mirkwood number two!" With this Orlando stepped into light in full Legolas costume complete with ears.

The twins stood mouths agape. Gimli started to protest: "Not two of them!"

Aragorn walked up to the first Legolas then the second and finally asked:

"How? Huh? What?"

"I cloned him!" Smiled Emily.

"What do you mean you cloned him?!"

"I put him in a cloning machine and when he came out there were two of him. We now have two yummy Legolas'."

Aragorn furrowed his eyebrows.

"Which one the original?"

"Dunno?" Shrugged Emily.

"Then how will you know which one to kiss?" Asked Aragorn feeling really smart. He knew Emily knew which one was which, and with the stoic elves staying extremely quiet he knew he would only get the answer out of Emily.

"Well they both look rather cute so I'm not really fussed!"

Legolas imperceptibly glared at Orlando whom remained beautifully in the character of Legolas.

"Isn't it great now we get two gorgeous fighting elves that can take care of me! Yay I love elves!"

Emily's comment earned her smiles from everyone except Gimli and Aragorn.

"Hey maybe I should clone myself. I've always wanted a twin." Laughed Emily watching as the colour drained from Aragorn's face.

"I do not have time for this." Aragorn turned to the two Legolas'. "Legolas," They both looked at him. "Which ever one is the original, please can you make sure your clone…is…well…make sure he behaves himself." They both nodded.

The group finally continued their journey through the Paths. Emily skipped happily in between her two Legolas'.

"This is fun! Isn't it fun?!" Smiled Emily.

"If you call walking through a haunted mountain fun, then yes it is extremely fun!" Answered Orlando through his teeth.

"Perhaps you should think about becoming an elf full time, they aren't scared of ghost, are they Legolas?"

"That is right." Said Legolas sending Orlando a sarcy smile.

"Don't worry Orli I'll look after you." Offered Emily.

"That would be appreciated." Smiled Orlando as he took Emily's hand and returned the elf's sarcy smile.

Emily completely oblivious to this carried on skipping along humming (much to Aragorn's annoyance) the national anthem.

Abruptly she stopped as they enter a huge dark cavern. The group formed a tight circle as the mountain began to shake.

"Who dares enter my domain?" Came a voice from out of nowhere.

The King of the Dead appeared in all his green smoky glory before the group.

"Hey! I exorcized you! You can't come back that's unfair." Whined Emily.

"Emily!" Warned Legolas.

Emily proceeded to pout and cling onto Orlando.

"One who will have your allegiance." Stated Aragorn.

"The dead do not suffer the living to pass!" Answered the King of the Dead with a grin of satisfaction.

"Well technically Orli and I are not from here you could be classed as not living here so maybe if we just buggered off." Emily began to pull Orlando towards the exit but was stopped when ghosts commenced out of nowhere and surrounded them.

"Yeesh! OK we will stay." Mumbled Emily.

"You will suffer me!" Bellowed Aragorn.

"Do ghosts still have their sense of smell?" Asked Emily to Elrohir who was in fits of laughter despite their rather calamitous situation.

"The way is shut…it was made by those who are dead…and the dead keep it. The way is shut. Now you must die."

*gulp* Said Emily's brain.

The King of the Dead advanced on Aragorn, causing Legolas to immediately fire an arrow.

"It's OK hunny I have my blonde moments too." Comforted Emily as the arrow went through the King.

"I summon you to fulfill your oath." Continued Aragorn.

"None, but the King of Gondor may command me!" The King of the Dead swung his sword at Aragorn but was extremely surprised when Anduril blocked his sword and was pressed against his throat.

"That line was broken!" Argued the King of the Dead.

"It has been remade." Stated Aragorn with assurance. 

"I've got it!" Squealed Emily with delight. Everyone including the dead looked at her in confusion.

"Geoffrey Rush! That's who you remind me of." Explained Emily trying to tug on the King of the Dead's wispy beard. "You know you'd make an awesome pirate. Maybe you should consider a career change. Orlando here is considering becoming a full time elf under my management. Hey! I could start my own business."

"Who's Orlando?" Asked Aragorn.

"No one." Said Emily unconvincingly.

Aragorn raised an eyebrow but let it go, "Fight for us and regain your honor. What say you?"

The dead remained silent as Aragorn walked around them.

"What say you?!" He repeated.

"You waste your time, Aragorn! They had no honor in life, they have none now in death." Snorted Gimli.

"Don't insult the ghosts!" Whimpered Emily as she noticed the ghost closing in around her.

Legolas who had noticed this quickly lifted her into his arms. "It is OK melamin. I am here." He whispered.

With this Emily found her off mood with Legolas dissolve and be replaced with the goofiest grin she could manage.

"I am Isildur's heir. Fight for me and I will hold your oath fulfilled!"

The King of the Dead let a wicked smile cross his face as Aragorn pointed his sword at him.

"What say you?!" Shouted Aragorn.

****

A/N: Emily: Oooooh what will the King of the Dead decide? Well you can pretty much guess!

George assures me he will be present for the next chapter, which will show the Ride of the Rohirrim, Emily the pirate, the return of two favorites and the fate of Orlando Bloom!  

 Ah my ever faithful lovely reviewers! You are excelling yourselves we are nearly at 100 reviews! Woohoo! I may have to have a party when we reach the big old 100!

Before I say the thank yous I have to end this authors note with sad news! The next chapter could take a while. When I say a while, I mean a long while! The GCSE's are upon me. I have already had my German Oral, which consisted of me talking about Orlando Bloom for 15 minutes in German. My art exam is this week so I am very busy. Hopefully George might be able to post a short chapter to keep you all with the story, but I promise on every thing I hold dear this will be finished, I will not abandon my lovely readers. We have so much more planned and it will be criminal for us to not finish this!

Thank yous:

Voyd – I had uber fun at the movie! I shall continue to blame George until he reappears!

Snow crystals – Preston? That reminds me of the guy off of Jackass! The Calcium Kid was genius! Yay for Orli!

Rainbow Dreamer – Aren't epiphanies great?!

Shadowz – Hey I mentioned the shoe fight in this chapter! Ack those crazy dreams of mine. Must seek help sometime! I want a TROGDOR Hoody!

Tidus'luvr99 – Furbies are evil! Mine was processed! Aren't hangovers great?! Dink Milk so you can be big and strong like Jimmy Connelly (Don't you just love Orli?!)

Pretendingtobesane – No!!!!! The brains are rebelling!